Pretty late in the afternoon, Katherine calls me into her office.
“Hey,” she says, as I plop down in a Kelly chair.
“Hey,” I say. “How are you doing?” And though it was me who helped put her into this situation, I’m genuinely concerned.
“Been better,” she says, stifling a sad laugh.
“Do you want me to go over the messages?” I ask.
“Yes, but first I want you to help me think of who could have been the source.”
“Katherine, I have no idea who would have done this.”
“I have an idea,” Katherine says.
“Oh? Who?” I ask.
“Well, first I thought of the people who are closest to me at work. Those people are you and Evan. Evan has a financial interest in keeping my stock high. And you would never do such a thing, so that canceled the two of you out right away.”
I nod and hope that my eyes don’t reveal my burning shame and intense guilt.
“Then I tried to come up with a list of people who may think I have wronged them in some way and people who may have it out for me. And to be honest, I can only think of one person?”
“Who?” I ask.
“Maggie Stern. She hates me. She’s made that abundantly clear for years. She makes our working relationship incredibly difficult and despite my efforts over the years to try and unruffle her feathers, it’s never gotten easier with her. I know, from reliable sources, that she’d like my job someday. So why couldn’t it be her? She has the motivation. She’s got the personality. And she’s got the venom. The only thing she doesn’t have right now is time because she’s so busy with London.” Another stifled laugh.
“Do you think Maggie would do that?” I ask.
“I guess it’s possible. Hell, anything’s possible. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible that the Post would misrepresent me so severely. That whole school committee thing is patently untrue. I don’t know if they found some bitchy woman to make it up or if they faked a source. I’ve only had two nannies before my current one, and I honestly don’t think either would have said such things. Plus, I think they both moved back to their home countries, which makes the veracity of those statements even more questionable. The Simon & Schuster thing. Lie. And the plastic surgery. Hilarious! Also a lie. So I guess it’s possible that they made up the Green Goddess source as well. That just feels so personal for some reason because, as you and I both know, my life has been a little trickier than usual lately. So that part of the article is partially true. I don’t know why they had to be so vicious. It really does not make any sense to me. Anyway,” she says with a little shake of her hair, trying, maybe, to get that bad energy off of her, “I’ve got a job to do and a speech to make so I have no time to dwell on this now. There’s plenty of time for that later. Were you able to make any progress on the speech in between answering all those phone calls?”
I could not feel any worse.
“Yeah, a little. I had to scrap the outline I wrote yesterday because I figured you’d have to address the article.”
“Yes. The elephant in the ballroom.”
“So I wrote some things out. Do you want me to go get the outline?”
“Yes, please. That would be great, Lucy.”
I start to get up and walk out her door but Katherine says, “Lucy?”
“Yeah?” I ask, stopping in the doorway.
“Can you do me a favor and keep your ears to the ground and see what you can find out though the Green Goddess grapevine? If there’s anything you think I should know, I would appreciate it if you could tell me as soon as possible.”
“Of course, Katherine.” I say as I pause and look straight at the horrible mess I’ve created.
Chapter Fifteen
I feel awful when I wake up Saturday morning to get ready to meet Katherine and Brooke at Today. It’s as if someone took my entire sense of morality and right versus wrong and pulverized it in one of those expensive Vitamix blenders with lots of spoiled kale and chia seeds. And then made me drink it. And when I look in the mirror, I notice a just plain awesome stress zit in full bloom on the tip of my nose. Good morning, Lucy, here’s a gift for you. But I have no right to complain. I created this cesspool that I’m currently swimming in. Enduring that smoothie and this zit is penance.
Katherine is supposed to go on at 8:22. She’s being interviewed by Lester Holt. When I arrive at seven thirty, I’m directed to the same dressing room we were in last time where I find Katherine getting her makeup done. She looks great in a charcoal-grey tailored suit with a white blouse open at the collar. If I didn’t know any better and if my eyes were worse, I’d say it could have been her downing cosmos at Nobu with Nick.
I receive pleasant-enough greetings from both Brooke and Katherine. I was so afraid to see them this morning because if Brooke “Drew” had conducted the Great Article Source Inquisition she would have found out that I was the source. So I’m happy, and very surprised actually, to see them acting normally toward me. It’s still possible that Brooke knows but hasn’t told Katherine, but the friendly vibes I’m getting from Brooke suggest otherwise.
Brooke is quietly going over talking points with Katherine so I grab some coffee from the machine and sit down on the couch.
“This will all be fine, Katherine. It’s just you and Lester. I’ve worked with Lester in the past, and I spoke with him this morning before he went on the air. He’s totally supportive of you; he told me his wife, Carol, loved your book. He’s going to ask you about your reaction to the piece and then he’ll let you defend yourself. Just be totally calm and maybe even a little self-deprecating. You’ll be fine.”
“Is there anything you need me to do?” I ask.
“No, we’re fine. But thanks, Lucy. There’s food down the hall if you’re hungry,” Brooke says, smiling at me. I actually like this new side of Brooke. Crisis Brooke.
“Great, thanks. Do either of you want anything?”
“No, thanks,” says Katherine.
“I’m good. Thanks,” says Brooke.
I head down the hall in search of what will hopefully be a table like you see in the movies, heaped with every kind of breakfast carb one could possibly desire on a stressful morning such as this. I am not let down, and I approach the carb cornucopia (a carbucopia?) with excited anticipation.
As I load my plate, I overhear two women in a corner speaking quietly—though not as quietly as they think, because I can hear them. One is holding a clipboard and has an earpiece. She looks like a producer or production assistant. The other is wearing a sensible dress. She looks like she’s a guest on the show. I take my time filling my plate and listen in.
Clipboard: “She has no idea you’re going to be here. We wanted to catch her off guard.”
Sensible Dress: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. I’m not entirely comfortable with that, to be honest.”
Clipboard: “No, no, I don’t mean that we want to attack her. We just don’t want her to be too rehearsed when Lester presents the other side.”
I’ve heard enough at this point so I rush back into where Katherine and Brooke are.
“They’re trying to ambush you!” I shout, bursting into the dressing room.
The first person I see is Theo.
“Hey, slugger,” he says, trying to act normal. Katherine wouldn’t understand if he didn’t act normal.
“Hey, Theo,” I say as I set my plate o’carbs on the table.
“What? Lucy, what are you talking about?” Brooke asks.
“I overheard a producer talking to a woman out in the hall. The producer was saying that they’re going to try to catch Katherine off guard. There’s another guest on your segment,” I say, almost out of breath. I’m all fired up.
“Are you sure?” Brooke asks.
“Well, I’m sure about what I heard. But I’m not entirely sure they were referring to Katherine’s interview.”
“Huh. Fascinating,” Brooke says. She stands up and purposefully wal
ks out of the dressing room.
“Brooke—” Katherine calls after her but the makeup artist is applying mascara so Katherine stays where she is.
A few minutes later, Katherine’s face is done and the makeup artist leaves the room. Katherine adjusts her suit and checks her hair in the mirror and then says she’s headed out to find Brooke to see what’s going on. Which leaves Theo and me.
“How’s everything going?” he asks me carefully.
“Just dandy,” I say snidely. I can tell he’s looking at me, but I concentrate on my breakfast.
“I guess I should thank you for not telling Katherine.”
“How do you know I haven’t told her?”
“Because she would have gone utterly berserk on me and she has not gone utterly berserk on me. So, thank you.”
“Are you going to man up and tell her?” I ask, looking at him in the eyes.
“No. I’m not. I don’t think that information will serve Katherine well at all. Especially not now with how things are going. And that was the first and last time, so I think she’s better off not knowing. We’re better off with her not knowing.”
“You mean you’re better off with her not knowing.”
Katherine and Brooke walk through the door.
“I can not believe this. That’s so underhanded of them,” Brooke says through gritted teeth. “But, okay, let’s just take a second,” Brooke paces the room a couple times. Katherine looks nervous.
“Okay, Katherine. Here’s what you’re going to do—”
“Katherine Whitney,” a producer says, walking into the room we’re all in. “Please come with me. You’re on in two.”
“Brooke?” Katherine asks, looking like a kindergartner being separated from her mother on the first day of school.
“It’s okay, Katherine. You’ll be fine. Just be yourself. You can do this!” Brooke says encouragingly, calling after her down the hallway. Be nice to the other children, but if someone hits you, fight back!
Brooke comes back into the room, looking like she might need a defibrillator. Or a shot of tequila. The three of us sit on the couch and stare at the TV. Theo turns the volume up on the remote.
When Katherine’s segment comes on, she is indeed sitting on the set with Lester and Sensible Dress who turns out to be Dr. Elaine Ireland, a women’s health physician with a specialty in working women. How convenient.
Lester begins, “Can working women have it all? Possible? Or impossible? There are as many answers as there are women asking the question. It’s a hot-button issue that’s not dying down anytime soon. To discuss it, I’d like to welcome my next two guests: two women with very different perspectives on work-life balance and having it all, Katherine Whitney and Dr. Elaine Ireland. Welcome, ladies.”
“Thank you, Lester,” Katherine and Elaine say at the same time. They’re both seated on stools, both sitting up straight as arrows.
“Katherine, let’s start with you,” Lester says, looking at Katherine as the camera does a close-up on her face. She looks confident and ready. “A little over a week ago, you were a guest on Today to celebrate the six-month anniversary of the launch of your book The Balance Project. How are things going with the book?”
“Great, Lester,” Katherine says earnestly. “Things are going really well with The Balance Project. It’s been on The New York Times bestsellers list for the past six months, and we have been getting wonderful response and reviews from women all over the country, actually, from all over the world.”
Lester continues, “That’s fantastic. But we can’t ignore an article that came out yesterday in the New York Post.” He looks directly into the camera. “For those of you who didn’t see the piece, it called Katherine Whitney a fraud.” Now he turns to Katherine and there’s another close-up of her as Lester continues, “The writer quoted an anonymous source, several anonymous sources, but one in particular who said he or she works at your company and has witnessed firsthand that, though you publicly say you have it all and that your life is well-balanced, in reality, the opposite is true. How do you respond to that?”
“Well, to be honest, Lester,” Katherine says, looking humble, “the article definitely rattled me. It’s never fun to read something like that about yourself.” She gives a sincere smile and recrosses her legs, and then her voice changes; it gets stronger and more serious. “But I have thick skin and have had to endure my share of criticism over the years. In fact, there’s been criticism of me and of Green Goddess ever since Evan Hewitt and I started the company. This article contained so many outright lies, though. I do know who the anonymous Green Goddess source was, Lester, and while I’m not going to name names, it’s fair to say that it’s a woman at my company with whom I have a strained working relationship. I think it’s sad that the Post would publish something like that. Something that’s clearly wrong. I’m not saying, and have never said, that it’s always easy dealing with everything on my plate. No working woman would say that. But to say that my life is a fraud and that I’m preaching ideals that I don’t personally live up to is flat-out wrong.” Point for Katherine!
“Let me turn to you, Dr. Ireland,” Lester says. You’re a leading expert in women’s health and you specialize in working women. Did I get that right?”
“Yes, Lester, that’s right,” Elaine says. She comes off as very professional, no-nonsense. “I work with a lot of high-powered career women. I was an internist for many years but redirected my career when I noticed there was an epidemic among working women. Now, I work with these very same women to provide them with strategies and action plans to deal with the stressors in their lives and to help them achieve more balance and better overall health.”
“So what do you think of the whole concept of having it all?” Lester asks, making air quotes around having it all.
“Well, first I want to say that I very much admire Ms. Whitney and all that she’s done in her career at Green Goddess to promote health and wellness among Americans,” Elaine says, looking right at Katherine and smiling at her.
“Thank you,” Katherine says, a huge smile on her face. Clearly because she realizes this might not be as bad as the butcher job she and Brooke anticipated.
“But I have to say,” Elaine continues, “with all due respect, that while Green Goddess & Company is truly revolutionizing healthy lifestyles in our country, I believe that Ms. Whitney’s book is not serving women well at all.”
Ruh roh.
“How so?” Lester asks, smelling blood. They cut to a brief close-up of Katherine who is doing her best to maintain a polite smile.
“Lester,” Elaine says, “I’m finding in our society that the definition of having it all has changed. For the worse. What I find celebrated in the media is this notion of extremes. This idea of being a superwoman. That you can do everything—taking care of your career, your children, your marriage, and yourself—all really well and that everyone in that equation—your boss, your family, you—will be happy and sane and well all the time. But in reality, that’s impossible. There are not enough hours in the day for a woman to come even close to accomplishing all of those things successfully each day.” Katherine starts to speak, but Lester cuts her off. She looks like she has just had her palms slapped by Sister Mary Margaret.
“So you’re saying that having it all is impossible?” Lester asks Elaine.
“I’m saying that you have to change your definition of it all,” Elaine says.
“What do you mean?” Lester asks.
“If having it all means being a superwoman,” Elaine says, “then, yes, I believe having it all is impossible. Because having a full-time job is a full-time job. Being a full-time mother is a full-time job. Taking care of your marriage requires work and time. And taking care of yourself requires a good amount of hours devoted to sleeping every night, exercising most days, and taking time to eat well and do things that light you up. That list doesn’t even include socializing, volunteering, and being spiritual. And all of those together am
ount to more hours than there are in each day. So if that’s your definition of having it all, then you are kidding yourself. And it’s pretty evident that that’s the notion that Ms. Whitney is trying to perpetuate, and I think that’s dangerous because it sets women up to fail.”
“However, when women change that spurious definition of having it all, when they accept the fact that they have to make sacrifices, that they’re not going to be able to do it all well, all successfully, all at the same time, then they are able to be well-balanced, healthier, and ultimately happier. And let me clarify one thing, I’m not saying women shouldn’t be aiming for that corner office, shouldn’t be leaning in, I’m saying that if they do that they have to be realistic about and comfortable making sacrifices in other domains of their life.”
“Katherine, what do you have to say to that?” Lester asks.
A quick camera cut to Katherine shows her stunned, but she recovers quickly. At least she tries to. “Um, I, well, I believe that my book The Balance Project, um, provides strategies so women can be successful in all domains of their lives. And women come up to me at my talks, and, um, at the book signings I do and they tell me that these strategies are working for them, that they do feel balanced, and they do think they have it all.”
Well, she tried.
“Dr. Ireland?” Lester asks.
Elaine continues, “I wouldn’t contest what Ms. Whitney has heard from her fans. I’m sure that’s all true. I’m just not sure how sustainable those strategies ultimately are long term, when things, let’s say, start going wrong. For instance, when there’s a big push going on at work and extra hours at the office are required. Or when a child’s learning differences require more attention from the parents. Or when an elderly parent becomes ill. I have dealt with thousands of women in my private practice and through my seminars, and I can honestly say that when women are honest with themselves about what they can realistically accomplish in a given day, they lead more vibrant lives. Sure, I would agree that there is a subset of women who are making it, but that’s not sustainable, and the slightest challenge will affect that perceived, yet ultimately impractical, balance. I think we, as a society, need to tone down this glorification of being busy, this myth of the superwoman.”
The Balance Project Page 17
