Levi was searching for a way to start the conversation when Dominic glanced up and said, “You know I wouldn’t usually say this, but please eat something.”
Right on cue, Levi’s stomach rumbled loudly enough for them both to hear. “I will.”
Their awkward stalemate continued as the server returned with their coffees and took their food order. Alone once more, Levi wrinkled his nose while he watched Dominic dump two creamers and three packets of sugar into his mug.
Dominic caught him at it and snickered. “Coffee snob,” he said, so fondly that it was like a bullet to Levi’s heart.
“I don’t know why I did it,” Levi blurted.
To his credit, Dominic didn’t pretend not to know what he was talking about. “You’d been suppressing your fear and anger all day. Stanton was finally safe, Acosta mocked him, and you snapped.”
“That’s not an excuse.”
“An explanation’s not the same thing as an excuse.”
Levi smoothed his hands over the chipped table. “How’d you even know to go back to Boulder City? Did Leila tell you they weren’t pressing charges against me?”
“She did, but I was already back by then. I had a hunch they weren’t going to keep you.”
“It’s because of the Seven of Spades. Acosta recanted his story about me assaulting him after Los Avispones threatened him at the hospital.” Levi took a burning gulp of coffee. “Still, the scissors I stabbed him with were at the crime scene with his blood and my fingerprints all over them. The city could have prosecuted me without his statement. They chose not to. They’re not charging me for anything I did yesterday because they don’t want to tangle with the Seven of Spades. A serial killer is protecting me from the consequences of my own actions.”
“More than you realize, actually.” Dominic swirled a spoon through his mug, then set it aside. “I did the same thing to Graham after you left the room. I made it clear that if he came forward about your . . . extralegal visit, the Seven of Spades would probably go after him.”
Levi’s mouth fell open. “Dominic!”
“It’s true. Reminding him may have even saved his life.”
“Oh my God,” Levi said, raking his hands through his hair.
Dominic leaned his forearms against the edge of the table. “Let me ask you a question. Besides putting out Acosta’s eye, do you genuinely regret anything you did yesterday? In the sense that, if you went back in time, you’d do things a different way?”
“No.” No other path would have led to Stanton’s quick, safe return.
“Then why are you so upset that you’re not going to lose your job or go to jail for what you did?” When Levi didn’t respond, Dominic lowered his voice. “Do you want to be punished?”
“Maybe,” Levi whispered. “Maybe I should be. I fucking mutilated an unarmed man, Dominic! Maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to be a cop, or even to walk around freely. A person who can’t control their own rage has no business being in a position of authority.”
“You can control it. You’re getting help. Martine told me you’ve been getting better.”
“Did I seem better to you last night?” Levi ground the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I’ve never done anything like that before. This isn’t the person I want to be, but it’s like I’m sliding down the side of a mountain, and there’s nothing for me to grab onto to pull myself back up.”
Levi lowered his hands to see Dominic gazing into his coffee with a troubled expression. He bit back the questions he wanted to ask: Did seeing that change the way you feel about me? Do I disgust you now? Why do you keep wasting your time on me?
The server returned with their food then—thank God for diners and their quick turnaround. She took Levi’s veggie omelet off her tray first, then unloaded Dominic’s ridiculously sized combo meal, which included a helping of every breakfast item known to man and required three plates to serve.
They tucked in, but Levi could only stomach a few bites before he had to stop. “If you hadn’t been with me yesterday, things would have turned out very differently. Why were you even there, though? What made you come looking for me at my hotel?”
Dominic took his time chewing and swallowing, and he didn’t meet Levi’s eyes when he spoke. “There was more to the conversation I had with the Seven of Spades on Friday, after they sent me those forged papers. They said that—that when their plans for you ‘came to fruition,’ nobody in the city would care about anything else. That we’d only scratched the surface of what they had in store. That was before you found Quintana, but since Scott West is still missing, I don’t think Quintana’s death is what the Seven of Spades was referring to.”
A chill ran down Levi’s spine. “You never told me any of this.”
“You were so happy about the break you’d gotten in the kidnapping case; I didn’t want to ruin that for you. And then right afterward . . .” Dominic made a helpless gesture with his fork.
“Everything went to shit.”
“Yeah.”
Levi forced himself to continue eating. Even though he didn’t feel hungry, his body needed fuel.
“Sunday afternoon, I was gambling at the Railroad Pass while you were all alone in a hotel room, going through the worst time of your life, cutting yourself off from everyone, and facing a threat you didn’t know the entire scope of. At the very least, I had to warn you. But even knowing all that, instead of going to you right away, I hesitated. Not because I was angry with you for outing me—which I was, and still am—but because I didn’t want to stop gambling.”
Levi froze with his fork halfway to his mouth. This sounded like . . .
No. No, he refused to get his hopes up. Dominic had done this to him more than once over the past few months.
“If gambling is more important to me than your safety, even for a minute, what kind of person am I?” Dominic said. “If I hadn’t been with you when you opened that box—hell, if I’d even been a few minutes later—you would have taken on that entire clusterfuck by yourself. You wouldn’t have trusted me enough to call me for help, you would have tried to save Stanton alone, and you could have ended up dead, all while I was sitting on my ass in a casino. That would have haunted me for the rest of my life.”
Levi didn’t dare speak. He didn’t even move, except to very slowly set down his fork.
“After I dropped Rebel off in Vegas, I didn’t drive straight back to Boulder City. I went through Henderson on the way, and I stopped at the Railroad Pass. I sat in the parking lot for an hour and a half, talking myself out of going inside, sweating and shaking and on the verge of vomiting the whole time. The only thing that convinced me to leave was thinking about what could have happened to you yesterday if I hadn’t been there. And even then, even then, I only got out by the skin of my teeth.”
“Dominic . . .”
“I don’t know if I can stop,” Dominic said shakily. His eyes were dark with desperation. “I want to, I do, but the compulsion is so much stronger than I am.”
Levi reached across the table to take his hand. “Nothing and nobody is stronger than you are.”
“No. What you said at the substation was right—if losing you wasn’t enough to make me quit gambling, nothing will be.”
“I said that because I was angry, and it was total bullshit. You always talk about recovery from addiction like it’s a question of pure willpower, but that isn’t true. You need help, Dominic, professional help and support. But you won’t accept that because it would mean admitting that there’s something in your life you can’t handle on your own.”
Dominic turned his hand palm-up and laced his fingers through Levi’s. “I can’t stand thinking of myself as weak. It’s even worse that you might see me that way.”
“There hasn’t been a single second in all the time I’ve known you that I’ve thought of you as weak.” Levi tightened his grip. “The gambling isn’t a deal breaker for me. It never has been, and it never will be. It was the lying and manipulating and purp
osely hurting me to deny the gambling that I couldn’t tolerate. That’s why I couldn’t be with you.”
He held his breath while he waited for Dominic’s response. He’d told Dominic this countless times; would this be the time it finally sank in?
“What if I really can’t stop?” Dominic said.
“You won’t know unless you try. And when I say try, I don’t mean going to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting every other month and trusting the rest to your self-restraint on a wing and a prayer. I mean seeing a therapist, getting a sponsor, the whole nine yards. Are you willing to do that?”
After a long, agonizing moment, Dominic nodded. His eyes were unfocused as he gazed at their clasped hands.
“You don’t need to hide any of this from me,” Levi said, the words tumbling out in a rush. He’d waited to have this conversation for so long he almost couldn’t believe it was happening. “You have to trust that I wouldn’t leave you just because you relapsed. The only way I can help you is if you’re honest with me about what you’re struggling with.”
Wait. Levi was talking about them getting back together like it was a foregone conclusion. That might have been the case a week ago, but not now.
He withdrew his hand from Dominic’s, cringing as cold realization washed through him. “But I know I can’t . . . I mean, I shouldn’t assume . . .” He looked out the window. “What I did to you on Friday was unforgivable.”
The silence that descended over their booth was more excruciating than any of the ones preceding it. Levi’s inability to control his temper had ruined any chance of reconciliation between them, and Dominic was just trying to find a diplomatic way to tell him that.
“It wasn’t unforgivable,” said Dominic. “From anyone else, maybe. Not from you.”
Levi’s head whipped around. “Dominic—”
“Please let me get this out.” Dominic waited for Levi to nod before continuing. “That was one of the worst possible ways you could have betrayed me. It hurt; it still hurts. But I won’t pretend I haven’t done horrible things to you too. I’ve broken your trust in a hundred different ways, and while that doesn’t make what you did okay, it’s not like I can claim to be an innocent victim. When you love someone, you know better than anyone else how to cause them the most pain. We’re a prime example of that.”
Clasping his hands together below the table, Levi chewed his lower lip to keep from interrupting.
“We’ve both done shitty things, things we wish we could take back.” A rueful smile crossed Dominic’s face. “We can’t do that, but maybe we can choose to wipe the slate clean and find a new way forward, one where we work harder to not make the same mistakes.”
“I’d like that,” Levi said, knowing the vast understatement was belied by his flushed face. Dominic could probably see his pulse pounding in his throat from the other side of the table. “If the past few months have taught me anything, it’s that we’re stronger together than we are apart. I’d rather be on your side than fighting against you.”
“Me too.” Dominic took a deep breath. “So I can promise to get help with my gambling like you said, and to not lie about it or manipulate you anymore—if you can promise to keep getting help with your own stuff, and to not lash out at me when you have trouble with your anger.”
“I can do that.”
They smiled at each other across the table. Levi hadn’t fully appreciated how much energy his ongoing battle with Dominic had been sucking out of him until they reached this détente. It was easier to breathe now, like returning to sea level after a trip to the mountains.
He was still gun-shy, unable to trust that Dominic wouldn’t let him down again—or vice versa. But if they could work through this, if they could accept each other’s faults, forgive each other’s mistakes, and help share each other’s burdens, they might be able to forge a relationship more solid than the one they’d had before.
The moment was broken by Levi’s cell phone ringing. “It’s Adriana,” he said after he glanced at the screen. “Why would she be calling me so early in the morning?”
Dominic waved for him to answer it and returned to his breakfast with renewed gusto.
Levi lifted the phone to his ear. “Adriana? Are you okay?”
“Levi?” Adriana’s voice was fuzzy and indistinct, the line crackling with static. “I’m sorry to bother you so early, but I did something dumb.”
“Where are you? This connection is terrible.” Levi checked his phone, but the problem must have been on her end.
“I lied to Marcus and Wendy,” she said. “I told them I was going to spend the night studying at a friend’s house, but I—I went to this guy’s house instead. He seemed really nice. I thought he was nice.” She sniffled. “But he, um, he wanted to do stuff I didn’t, and he got mad when I said no.”
Levi clutched the edge of the table with his free hand. Dominic gave him a questioning look.
“I ran out of his house before anything happened, but then I didn’t have a ride back out to the Andersons’ farm, and I couldn’t call them to come get me without explaining what I’d done. So I walked to another friend’s house a couple miles away and spent the night there instead.”
“You walked through the city by yourself at night?” Levi said, appalled. Granted, Adriana had taken care of herself living on the streets of Las Vegas for months, but his blood ran cold at the thought of what could have happened to her.
“It was fine. Now I have the same problem, though. Marcus and Wendy are expecting me in a couple of hours, but Madison’s parents aren’t home, neither of us has a license, and there’s nobody else who can give me a ride. I know it’s asking a lot, but I—I was hoping you could come pick me up? I’m just afraid . . .” A sob burst forth. “If they know I lied, they might not want me anymore, they might send be back and then what would happen to me? I know it was stupid and I’m sorry—”
“Adriana! Take a deep breath. Everything’s going to be all right.” Levi waited for her crying to taper off. “Of course I’ll come get you. Why do you need me to take you home, though? Don’t you have school?”
“We have a three-day weekend for a teacher’s conference.”
Levi grabbed a paper napkin from the dispenser on the table and pulled a pen out of his pocket. “Okay. Give me the address and I’ll leave right now.”
By the time Levi hung up, Dominic had already signaled their server for the check. Levi explained the situation to him while they waited.
“The Andersons would never reject her for something every teenager does at some point,” said Dominic.
“I know; she’s just panicking. I’ll talk to her about it during the drive.”
With only one car between them, there was no choice but for Dominic to go with him. It wasn’t ideal—Adriana was still intimidated by Dominic, whose build reminded her of her abuser—but the time it would take to bring Dominic to his apartment would be more time for Adriana to work herself up into a panic attack. Levi would just have him sit in the back seat once they got there.
Adriana’s friend Madison lived in a Henderson suburb that could have been a replica of the neighborhood they’d just left in Boulder City, save that the houses here were a little bigger and the yards more spacious. Levi parked in the empty driveway, headed up the front path, and rang the doorbell.
There was no answer, though he could hear noise inside. He rang the bell again, then tried the knob, just in case.
The door wasn’t locked.
Tensing, Levi pushed the door all the way open while remaining on the threshold. “Hello?”
The house looked cozy and lived-in, with family photos on the walls and the kind of clutter that made it obvious teenagers lived there. From the doorway, Levi could see into the living room, where there were pillows and rumpled blankets on the couch and floor. Soda cans and half-empty bags of junk food were scattered across the coffee table, and the sounds he’d been hearing were from the TV.
Despite the odd circumstances, Levi couldn�
��t help smiling. It was a relief to know Adriana was having normal teenage experiences like a sleepover at a friend’s house.
Then he continued scanning the house, and the smile fell off his face.
A bloody handprint was smeared on the wall of a hallway that led deeper into the house, vivid against the off-white paint. It was still wet, dripping onto the beige carpet. More blood was spattered along the floor and around a corner that was hidden from sight.
Levi lunged into the house, then caught himself on the doorjamb so hard he got whiplash. He couldn’t go charging into the breach alone and unarmed. That was exactly the kind of shit Leila had just taken him to task for.
While he dialed 911, he ran down the path far enough to gesture frantically to Dominic. Dominic jumped out of the car and hurried to join him at the front door.
“What’s wrong?”
Levi pointed to the blood. Cursing, Dominic drew his gun from beneath his windbreaker.
“We’re sorry, all circuits are busy,” said an automated female voice on the other end of the line.
Levi stared at the phone in disbelief. What? He jabbed viciously at the screen to redial.
“You just talked to Adriana fifteen minutes ago,” Dominic said.
“That’s fresh blood.” Levi’s heart was in his throat as he listened to the phone ring. Adriana had told him she worried her old foster father would pursue her here. What if the man had just been waiting to strike when she was most vulnerable? Levi should have listened, he should have taken her more seriously—
From the back of the house came two loud bangs, a thundering crash, and a shrill, terrified scream that was undoubtedly that of a teenage girl. Levi blanched, his entire body vibrating with the need to run toward the sounds. Dominic didn’t look to be faring much better.
“We’re sorry, all circuits are busy.”
“Fuck! Dominic, my call’s not going through.”
Dominic opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by another scream from deep within the house, this one even more heart-wrenching than the first.
One-Eyed Royals Page 26
