by Jill Kargman
DR. EMILE POUNDSCHLOSSER was arrested on seven counts of tax evasion. Through the press of the trial it was revealed that the renowned parenting expert never even had children. He was cured of his Affluenza in an upstate jail.
MR. and MRS. PARKER ELLIOTT: After nursing his wounds and getting used to life as a single dad, Parker began spending a lot of time at our house. As did Leigh. Through the months they grew closer, and when I went into labor, they both took Violet for us. Leigh was crazy about Weston and Violet, and Parker saw how loving she was with his kid and ours, and by the end of the year, they were together, madly in love and happier than ever.
LUCY SLOANE ALLEN was born September 14, weighing in at seven pounds exactly.
VIOLET GRACE ALLEN loves her baby sister, New York, her new school, and her very happy mommy.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to genius editrix and do-it-all-mom Stacy Creamer for getting the idea, giving me ideas, and commiserating on some of the daunting aspects of dealing with Big Apple parenting. A big thanks as well to Joanna Pinsker and Julia Coblentz, for getting the word out, and to Laura Swerdloff plus the ICM gang: Amanda Urban, Jennifer Joel, Katie Sigelman, and Left Coaster Josie Freedman, as well as superlawyers Steven Beer and Mary Miles of Greenberg Traurig.
To the mellow moms: thank you for helping me laugh at the Momzillas, for sharing insane anecdotes, and showing me how it’s done: Teresa Heinz, Laura Huang, Tara Lipton, Jane Timberlake, Alexis Mintz, Marisa Fox Bevilacqua, Liz Carey, Laura Hammam, Britney Spears-Federline, Isobel Case, The Group 3P.M.-ers, Leslie Coch, Carrie Karasyov, Robyn Foreman, Abby Gordon, Jennifer Nordstrom, B. J. Blum, Olya Thompson, Julia Van Nice, Lynn Biase, and Jenn Linardos.
Gracias also to sounding boards and supporters whose humor I worship: Richard Sinnott, Frances Stein, Alice Ryan, Liz Herzberg, Andrew Saffir, Daniel Benedict, Clara Pang, Kathryn Wender, Karen Quinn, Chris and Sasha Heinz, Andre Heinz, Michael Kovner, Jean Doyen, Naomi Waletzky, and especially Jacky and Jada Davy.
And to my sisters, the chère clan, I love you guys: Vanessa Eastman, Jeannie Stern, Dana Wallach Jones, Lauren Duff, and honorary chère Trip Cullman. And to the greatest note-giver on planet Earth, the brilliant Dr. Lisa Turvey, without whom this book would not have been possible.
Last but not least, thank you to the fam: the Kargmans, Robert, Sophie, Bess, Dana James, and my MiL Marjie (who is nothing like Lila!), and to my nana, Ruth Kopelman. Merci mille fois to my beloved mom, Coco, aka “Gwammy,” who devotes so much to her kids and is the best role model I could ever have as a mother; to Arie Kopelman (Dad slash Poppy), thanks for your sage guidance and for always showing us that humor is the best medicine; and broddow Will for all your amazing love, support, and constant inspiration. To li’l Ivy and Sadie, any mommy stresses are worth it in spades with you two delish nuggets as my reward, and extra-special thanks to Harry, my beloved LC.
Also by Jill Kargman (WITH CARRIE KARASYOV)
THE RIGHT ADDRESS
WOLVES IN CHIC CLOTHING
BITTERSWEET SIXTEEN
SUMMER INTERN
PUBLISHED BY BROADWAY BOOKS
Copyright © 2007 by Jill Kargman
All Rights Reserved
Published in the United States by Broadway Books, an imprint of The Doubleday Broadway Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.broadwaybooks.com
BROADWAY BOOKS and its logo, a letter B bisected on the diagonal, are trademarks of Random House, Inc.
While some elements of New York City parenting described on the following pages may seem familiar, this book is entirely fiction! No mommies, kiddies, schools, clubs, or real estate snafus are based on anyone or anything real.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Kargman, Jill, 1974–
Momzillas / Jill Kargman.—1st ed.
p. cm.
1. Motherhood—Fiction. 2. Rich people—Fiction. 3. Upper East Side (New York, N.Y.)—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3611.A783M66 2007
813'.6—dc22
2006024568
eISBN: 978-0-7679-2730-7
v1.0
