by Al K. Line
"Me too. Right, where do we start?"
"Ugh, I have absolutely no idea."
They went to the pub.
~~~
"Two pints please Steve," said Dale, before staring at the polished oak floorboards glumly. He glanced around at the busy pub, scowling deeply. It was all wrong; too weird.
"Right Dale, two pints coming up," said Steve happily, whistling as he grabbed two shiny glasses and began pulling the beer.
Steve being chirpy was definitely not right, it was disconcerting. For too many years to mention Dale and Amanda had been coming to the same pub and the one constant was that Steve would be forever cleaning scratched glasses, trying to get a shine back that always eluded him. He would be morose and uncommunicative, sometimes maybe grunting at you if you were lucky: a proper pub landlord in other words. As soon as you walked in you could guarantee that your feet would stick to the carpet, the place would be empty apart from a few old codgers, you'd probably have to shout for Steve, or go get him as he'd be puffing away in his 'office,' and the beer was always warm and slightly suspicious tasting. Oh, and you avoided the toilets unless it was a real emergency. It was how it was supposed to be: a genuine pub.
Now Steve had sold out, got the place revamped so it was as soulless as every other pub in town. Everything was new and shiny or fake old — Steve was loving it. He had so many customers he had to take on help, and worst of all was that he'd even started to serve food. Food! Dale thought he would never see such blasphemy in The Dog And Duck — the only food there had ever been were packs of pork scratchings or a maybe a pack of ready-salted Walkers dangerously past their sell-by date.
Dale cocked his head to one side, listening for a moment. "Is that Genesis?"
"Yeah. Good innit? Got the new speaker system up and running finally."
Dale shook his head sadly — the one time Dale had suggested Steve get some music in the place he'd muttered that it was a bloody pub, not a disco, and given him a pint with more head than beer.
"Eight pounds forty," said Steve proudly, rubbing a smudge off one of the pints with what Dale was sure was an actual new cloth. He smiled as he pushed the beer towards Dale on spotless beer mats.
"You what!?"
"Sorry Dale, but the prices have gone up. This lot doesn't pay for itself you know." Steve was practically rubbing his hands together with glee.
"What about all the extra customers? That's where you make the profits, not fleecing regulars." Steve just smiled and held out a hand. "It's bloody daylight robbery," muttered Dale, handing over a ten pound note.
"Keep the change?" asked Steve.
"Not likely, give it here."
Steve rang up the pints on his new touchscreen till, then handed Dale his change before ignoring him and going off to serve the others waiting at the bar. Dale put his change in his wallet and put it back in his satchel, buckling it up as it contained the Hexad, and carried the drinks over to their regular spot in the corner, although now it was some 'distressed' old table rather than the original old table.
"He's lost the plot," said Dale, pointing at Steve morosely.
"It's kind of lost it's atmosphere, hasn't it?" said Amanda.
"You can say that again." Dale sipped on his beer. "Damn! Even the beer's cold now. It's just not right." Dale hated to admit it but it was the best pint he'd ever had, even if it was at an astronomical price.
"What are we going to do Dale, just wait?"
"Something will happen, I'm sure. What we saw? Well, it involved us, so one way or another we are going to be busy soon enough. Enjoy your pint while you can."
Amanda took a sip, eyes widening in surprise at the cool beer.
"Hello, do you mind if I sit down?"
It was The Caretaker.
A Strange Reunion
Present Day
Dale and Amanda stared open-mouthed at The Caretaker, a man both of them had begun to believe may never have existed, just like any of the rest of it — although the bomb squad in their kitchen was proof enough that their lives were far from ordinary once more.
"What? Is there something wrong?" asked Tellan.
"Um, no. Please sit down Tellan, or should we call you The Caretaker?" said Amanda.
"Thank you, and, er, I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, how do you know my name if we haven't met yet?"
Ah, damn, I forgot. When we first met him he said he'd just come from having a chat with us in the future. So this is his first meeting with us. God, what a way to live. How could people do this all the time?
"We met you in our past, your future I guess. You go to meet us next. Again, whatever," Dale waved the convoluted paths away with a hand.
"Ah, I see." Tellan took off his hat and placed it carefully on the table, before taking a sip of his beer. "Delightful." Tellan took a large gulp then placed his pint down carefully on a beer mat. "Now, I'm afraid I have some bad news."
"Save it," said Amanda. "We already know."
"Oh. Oh dear."
"But please tell us in the past, that's how it happened. You turn up in our kitchen and tell us we've been naughty and messed up time and all that."
"Well, I must say, I wasn't expecting this. Now I don't really know what to say, not if I've already said it. Actually I haven't, but I'm about to I suppose." Tellan drank while he thought about the problem, then said, "I don't suppose I told you what you should do to stop this whole future mess from actually happening, did I?"
"No!"
"No! But please do," said Dale, leaning forward eagerly just like Amanda.
"Ah, now, how best to approach this?" Tellan sipped thoughtfully, then laced his fingers after placing his glass back down on the table. "If I have already told you certain things, namely that you have caused quite a few headaches, then I guess I can tell you what you are supposed to do next. You have reported the Hexads, and you do have one yourself don't you?"
"We do," said Dale. "Although it seems very convoluted if you ask me. If we cause it then it seems silly to actually go out of our way to ensure what happens in the future happens, when in reality we want to change the terrible things we have seen." Amanda visibly flinched at Dale's words, the memories of an awful day ten years ago breaking through the defenses they had both tried in vain to erect.
"That's the problem with time I'm afraid. What's the future for you is the past for someone else, so it's already happened. It's all a matter of changing things in the right way so you don't disrupt reality so much that the Universe just kind of gives up and implodes. What you're involved in came pretty close, I can tell you, and will again... Um, never mind about that, we just need to set this right."
"It could do that? Implode? Explode?" asked Amanda.
"It could," agreed Tellan. "You already know what happened just so reality could continue. It's your job to set that right. Somehow."
"Listen Caretaker, I thought you said that you knew how—"
"Please, call me Tellan. Caretaker is so formal. And actually, young man, it's The Caretaker — there is only one."
"Oh, sure, sorry. But look, what do you mean by The Caretaker? I asked you before and I never got an answer." Dale figured it was worth a try, Amanda was no help in terms of getting an explanation.
"I'm The Caretaker, it speaks for itself doesn't it?" Tellan finished his drink and stood, reclaiming his hat and adjusting it carefully once on his head. "Now, if you will excuse me, it seems that I have appeared at the wrong time. This time travel business, such a confusing thing. Bye."
Tellan disappeared.
Dale and Amanda looked around nervously, but the clientele didn't seem to have noticed.
Too busy networking. Gee, what did you do to our pub Steve?
"That wasn't very helpful, was it?" said Amanda.
"No, it was decidedly unhelpful in fact. I'd totally forgot that when we first met him he'd said that he'd just come from meeting us in the future."
"Me too. I guess so much happened so quickly back then that it'
s kind of blurred after all these years."
"Yeah. Come on, let's go, this place is freaking me out. Look at that bloody fire. I can't believe he ripped out the original only to buy a new one and have it distressed. Now it looks exactly like the old one. Bloody madness."
"That's progress for you," laughed Amanda, taking Dale's arm and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"What's that for?"
"Oh, nothing, just because I wanted to," said Amanda, smiling at Dale.
Beep, beep, beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
"What the hell is that?"
"I dunno." The noise was getting louder and louder, a piercing, high-pitched shrill coming from Dale's satchel. He tried to muffle it by wrapping his arms around the battered leather bag but it was no use and they were beginning to get a lot of unwanted attention. "Come on, let's get out of here before we have the bomb squad after us as well as them being at home."
They walked fast, but as casually as they could, out of the front door of the pub, battling through cigarette smoke from the banished drinkers congregating on the steps. Steve was with them, laughing and joking with people he would probably have refused to serve not long ago.
"Bye guys, see you soon," said Steve cheerily.
"See ya Steve," said Dale, hurrying Amanda, ignoring the strange looks they got once the group realized Dale was beeping.
They sped round the corner and got into their car, the noise stopping then resuming again intermittently, neither of them knowing when it would start again. Once inside the car Dale quickly drove through town, trying to drown out the sound with the stereo, but Rizzle Kicks was no match for the screaming coming from the back seat that had got louder and louder by the second.
"It must be the Hexad," said Amanda, hands over her ears, shouting at the top of her lungs.
"Yeah, but why? You don't think it's going to explode or anything do you?"
"What?"
"I said, oh never mind." Dale gave up trying to have a conversation — Amanda was still covering her ears and the Hexad was deafening.
Well, there goes the quiet afternoon. Ha, like I expected it to be.
Dale drove to a local park. He couldn't think of anywhere better, and as soon as they arrived, heads feeling like cracked-open coconuts, they ran as fast as they could toward the open space at the center. There were a few funny looks from dog walkers, and Dale panicked that the noise might act as some kind of recall to the animals, but his fears were thankfully unfounded and before long they were alone in the middle of acres of green grass.
Dale fumbled with the buckle and pulled out the Hexad, which instantly went quiet. "What the hell? Do you think it's going to do something?" Dale held it gingerly, ready to throw it and run if it started ticking. The bomb squad ruse was making his mind play tricks on him now.
Amanda peered at it. "I don't know. Maybe it's lonely. Maybe it's a warning that something is happening to the others. Or maybe it needs to be picked up every now and then."
"It's not a bloody puppy," mumbled Dale.
"I heard that Dale. Don't get moody with me, it's not my fault."
"Sorry, I'm just stressed. This is the last thing we need. Look, let's just start shall we? Nobody is going to give us any help, this is down to us so we have to do something."
"Okay, I agree. But what?"
Dale had no idea. They'd gone over so many scenarios and none of them seemed viable, all of them leading to probable paradoxes that made their own lives impossible, their past untenable. If they did anything that meant what they remembered was eradicated, such as destroying Hector before they met him, then they wouldn't remember meeting him, wouldn't have ever thought to go back and kill him, so the inevitable conclusion was that they simply couldn't do it, it wasn't possible.
So what was the answer? Try anyway? Think of something else to stop society ever getting its hands on Hexads, stopping Hector and his terrible Factory of terror where Dale and Amanda had witnessed firsthand what it took to actually get Hexads to function.
"Dale. Dale!" Amanda screamed as Dale turned and two men looking exactly like the ones that had taken them both all those years ago blinked out of existence, taking Amanda with them.
"Amanda." Dale was alone, she'd gone, and he had no clue how to get her back. She could be anywhere, at any time.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
"Bloody hell." Dale looked at the Hexad, for some reason the 6 was flashing faster and faster, as if telling him that he better use it or lose it. He had no idea if that was true or not, but figured that it wouldn't hurt to try what they had been talking about on and off over the years. He didn't know where Amanda was, but maybe this would bring her back — life could be resumed like Hexads never existed, and they would remember none of it. It was worth a shot.
Dale pressed down on the domed top and went to kill a man.
New but Old
35 Years Future
Dale hid behind one of the most important ruins the planet had ever seen, carefully watching the activity going on all around him. It broke his heart to see the carefree way the ancient monuments of Machu Piccu were being treated in the name of progress.
He'd jumped on impulse, picking a nice round number to jump forward, unsure just when the world first knew about Hexads but thinking that if humanity disappeared probably only a few years into the future then he would hopefully appear at the beginning of Hector's insane plan to put them into mass production high up in the mountains of Peru. So here he was, years before it all went so horribly wrong, and the vast complex of buildings and production facilities, labs and storage areas, the remains of the buildings left as a way to welcome visitors and wow them with the views, all of it was almost ready to begin the end of the world.
There was only one thing on his mind: kill Hector, stop any of it from ever happening.
The whole vast steppe was a hive of activity, the huge constructions almost complete, but Dale knew that nearly all of the important stuff was underground, the few changes to the surface completed more as a greeting and a way of ensuring visitors knew just how special the facility was, that their lives would never be the same again. He stepped out from his hiding place, noting the 5 on the Hexad, praying it wouldn't start beeping again, wondering why it had in the first place, before stashing it in his satchel.
Just act casual. Nobody knows you here apart from Hector. Um, does he know me yet? He said he'd tried to kill us before, stop us. Has he tried already?
Dale shook such thoughts away — he had to keep it together if he was going to kill Hector before the operation got up and running. If he stopped him now then it would all be over, right? No mass production, nobody else to know the secrets of how Hexads worked apart from Laffer, and he didn't seem like the talkative type.
Whistling, Dale wandered over the stubbly grass, chest feeling tight, getting a little light-headed due to the elevation, oxygen in short supply making it hard to act and think at normal speed. He grabbed a reflective jacket from a chair where the workers relaxed on breaks, although why you needed such things up a bloody mountain he had no idea.
What first? Where should he go? Down, down into the bowels of the terrible place, where the heart of production would be, where the foul giant lab was, where they'd seen the terrible sight that Dale would do anything to eradicate from his mind and Amanda's.
Where's Amanda now? What are those people doing to her?
There was nothing for it, he had to do this, it was the only way he could think of to get Amanda back. He walked toward the large entry to the complex, marching like he knew where he was going, what he was doing. Through the entrance, past the lobby that was soon to be a hive of visitor activity, and then there he was: Hector, Laffer beside him.
Uh-oh.
Dale turned sharply, he'd never get to him like this. He'd have to bide his time.
"You stop," shouted Laffer, voice booming around the massive interior, all other noise cut off in an instant.
Dale kept goin
g, marching faster, hearing footsteps behind him, struggling with the buckle on his satchel. Faster and faster, the floor like a never-ending sea of tile. Dale ran, and as he turned he could see that Laffer was almost upon him. Finally the buckle was free and Dale pulled out the Hexad, fumbling awkwardly with it as he set the dials.
Yes!
Dale tapped the dome and disappeared.
~~~
35 Years +5 Seconds Future
Dale watched Laffer running toward where he had been five seconds ago, before stopping and drawing out his own Hexad. But that wasn't his main concern, no, he was now stood directly behind Hector, so close he could see the wispy hairs on the back of his neck, strangle him right there if it weren't for Laffer who was right now turning, his eyes widening as he saw Dale.
There was nothing for it, he adjusted the Hexad, grabbed Hector by the upper arm, and pressed down on the number 4.
~~~
Present Day
"I'm going to kill you right now, then this will all be over," said Dale, standing over the prostrate figure of Hector, still an old man even though it was years into Dale's future before they had last met.
"You can't," gasped Hector, getting cautiously to his feet, as if he feared his bones were so brittle the movement could break them.
"Why not?" Dale hated Hector more than he had hated anything in his life; now it could be over.
"Haha, you don't get it, do you? I've met you before Dale, in your future. Laffer has chased you across universes, he hasn't caught you yet, but he will, and—"
"That's what you think, old man, but I've met you too, in your foul future, and trust me, it doesn't end well for either of you."
Hector waved away Dale's words. "That's as may be, but as I was saying, I've met you in your future, my past, and that means you can't kill me. If you do that now then how could I have met you when you are older?"
"Goddamn this time travel!" shouted Dale, frustration building as the complexity of it all reared its ugly head once more. It didn't matter what Hector said, he was going to kill him now, then it would be over. Amanda would be saved; he would be saved.
