by L. C. Davis
She sighed, her shoulders drooping in relief. “Thank you.”
I smiled. “Anytime, Clara.”
Once I closed the door, I took a deep breath and knocked on the private room's door. I couldn't hear any voices, but maybe Maverick was sleeping.
After a moment, Brendan opened the door and his eyes met mine. In a single look, he made it clear that there was no need to acknowledge what had transpired between us the night before. “Hey. Come in,” he said, stepping back to allow me inside.
Maverick was awake, hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV. His eye was blue and swollen and his bottom lip was swollen heavily on one side. A small gauze strip covered the spot where his split lip had been stitched closed, and a cloth bandage was wrapped around his forehead on the right side from where he'd hit the stairs. His arms were covered in more bruises than usual, and he looked like he had been sedated.
It was physically painful to see my friend, usually so vibrant and beautiful, looking so battered and lifeless. I could feel every bruise and cut as surely as if it was me in that bed, and it had been me enough times to know what it felt like. It was hard to resist the urge to run to him, but knowing that it would make his pain worse made it easier to stay away.
“Remus,” he said, in a small voice. He reached out to me, but his hand didn't lift far off the bed. Whatever Clara had in that drip, it wasn't just saline water. I went to his side immediately and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Oh, Mav,” I breathed. “I'm so sorry, about all of this. I never wanted you involved in this world.”
“It's still so much to process,” he said softly, his gaze flickering over to the wolf who had resumed his post in the chair by the door. He was a more faithful guardian than any hound could ever be. If there was a doubt in my mind that Maverick truly was Brendan's mate, watching them together erased it. Whatever reprieve he'd been given from the weight of his actions the night before was obviously gone, too.
Back to reality, for all of us.
“Of course it is. There are days I wake up and still have no clue what's going on,” I admitted, pulling the other chair up to his bedside. “Is there anything I can do?”
Maverick almost said something but stopped and looked at Brendan again. Brendan quickly stood to his feet. “I'll give you guys some time to talk,” he offered. “Can I bring you anything, Maverick?”
“No, thank you,” Maverick said softly. When Brendan disappeared, he turned back to me. “He's been here the entire time I've been awake.”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling a bit. “He just wants to make sure you're okay. We've all been worried.”
“It's hard to believe he's the same creature who...” He trailed off with a distant look in his soft blue eyes.
“I know,” I said, giving his hand another squeeze. “This may not be a comfort right now, but I promise you Brendan was only there to protect you.”
“He did,” Maverick said shakily. “Steven would have killed me if Brendan hadn't come in last night. I could see it in his eyes. I just never wanted it to end like this, Remus.” His eyes glowed with unshed tears. “And now there are people after us both? I don't know what to do with it all.”
“You don't have to do anything,” I said, wrapping both hands around his. “You're safe here. Victor and Brendan and the others will make sure of that. All you have to do is rest and heal.”
“It's a good thing that nurse has me sedated,” he said with a nervous laugh. “I think I'd be going crazy otherwise. Even when I found out you were a vampire, I couldn't believe it. I mean, I knew they existed. Steven has been trying to become one for ages, but to actually see one in person is different.”
“I'm so sorry that happened,” I murmured. “I never wanted you to find out, not this way, but I would never hurt you,” I promised him. It was true, but for the first time I really knew it. Maybe I'd known ever since that horrible misunderstanding in the infirmary.
“I was scared,” he said guiltily. “Steven talked a lot about supernaturals, especially vampires.”
“I've heard he was obsessed.”
“He was. With vampires, especially,” he said worriedly. “He wanted to become one.”
Well, that confirmed the rumors. “Trust me, it's overrated.”
Maverick watched me for a while. I could tell he wanted to ask me something but just wasn't sure how or whether it was safe to do so. “Go ahead,” I said gently. “Ask me anything, I won't get mad. I can't promise I'll be able to answer, though.” Now I knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of that line.
“Could you bring him back?” he asked tentatively.
I couldn't hide my surprise at his question, even though it really shouldn't have come as a shock. Maverick had been controlled by a charismatic abuser for who knew how many years. Of course he would want stability returned to his world and he thought Steven was the only one capable of providing it.
“I don't think so, Mav. He's been gone for awhile and I don't really know how all this works myself. Even if I could bring someone back as a vampire, he's the last person I would bring back after what he did to you.”
I expected anger or sadness, but he nodded slowly. If anything, he seemed almost relieved. Like he'd done his duty by asking and now it was out of his hands. “If there's one thing I've learned through all of this, it's that the world doesn't need anymore vampires.”
“But you're not bad,” he said, looking intently at me.
Smiling took more effort than usual. “You don't know what I'm capable of. You don't know what I've done.”
“You didn't hurt me.”
“No, because I care about you. I wanted to, though,” I admitted. “There's part of me that wants to hurt every human I encounter. Fortunately, I'm surrounded by wolves who would never let that happen.” I knew Brendan was well within earshot even if he was kind enough to give us the appearance of privacy.
“Aren't you scared of them?” he whispered. “They're so... vicious.”
“Only when they shift,” I said, mindful of who was listening. “If you're going to be afraid of supernaturals, be afraid of vampires. We're not capable of as much damage, but we're far more likely to do it.” He didn't need to know about Berserkers. Not yet.
Maverick didn't look convinced at all. “I just don't understand how someone can look and act so normal and then turn into a monster so easily.” His voice was shaking and I could tell the sedative was wearing off. At first, I had been reluctant to keep the likelihood of him being a repressed fleur wolf like I had been from him, but now I knew that Ulric and Victor were right. He couldn't handle it, not now.
“Brendan would never hurt you, sweetie,” I said, stroking his hair. “I can promise you that. The wolves might look like monsters, but Steven was the only monster you really had to fear and he can't hurt you anymore.”
Tears streamed down his face. “Remus, I feel so awful. Part of me can't believe he's gone, but there's part of me that's just so relieved.”
“I know,” I said, trying to soothe him. “It's confusing. Sometimes someone can get inside your mind so deeply that the lines between fear and love become blurred. You add grief into the mix and it's even more confusing.”
“He took care of everything,” he said, gasping in an attempt to hold back his sobs. “I don't know if I can live without him.”
“Of course you can. Look at me, I'm a mess. If I managed to survive on my own for so long, you definitely can,” I teased lightly, offering him a tissue. “But you don't have to. The pack has taken you in, you're our responsibility now. You never have to be alone again, not unless you want to.”
Not to mention the fact that being alone wasn't really an option once you were a wolf's mate, but he wasn't ready to hear that either. Especially since that mate had killed his old master and already had a boyfriend.
He sniffled. “Can you please make me calm again, like you did when you bit me?”
I hesitated. “I'm sorry. I would, but I c
an't use my power right now.” He looked confused, so I clarified, “I've been mind controlled not to mind control anyone.”
Yes, Remus. That made it all so much clearer. Take three. “Your sedative might have worn off. I could wake Clara, but --”
He shook his head. “That stuff doesn't make me less nervous, it just makes me have horrible nightmares.”
“Okay, let me go find Brendan. We'll figure something out,” I promised, leaving the room. He wasn't immediately in the waiting room, but I knew he was close. Sure enough, I opened the door and he was leaning against it so heavily that he almost fell into the room.
“You get all that, Sherlock?” I asked dryly.
He frowned. “Yeah. Monsters have good hearing, apparently.”
I smiled a little. “That's what I called Sebastian the first time I saw his wolf form, you know.”
“Yeah, and we all know how well that relationship turned out.”
“Maybe, but Sebastian's wolf form looks like a stuffed animal compared to Victor's,” I admitted. “He just needs some time to adjust to you, especially considering how he found out he's your mate.”
“Why can't you sedate him?” Brendan asked, changing the subject.
“You were there when Victor blocked me from being able to use mind control without his permission,” I reminded him. “Calming is a form of mind control.”
“Huh. Mind control-ception.”
“Tell me about it.” I hesitated. “Are you okay after last night?”
“Which part? The murder or the part where your boyfriend drank my blood?”
“Both, I guess.”
“I'm fine,” he said, peeling away his collar to reveal that the cut had already heeled. “At least, I will be if you never bring it up again.”
“Okay, just checking.”
“Where is the creep, anyway? Can't he just calm Maverick down himself?”
“He's in meetings all day and Clara is taking a much-needed nap. She's not getting woken up for anything short of a mortal wound if I can help it.”
“So what can we do? He's already been stressed out enough.”
“I had an idea. Make all the jokes you want, but I've had two wolf mates and both times their scent was enough to comfort me no matter what was happening,” I admitted.
“Sebastian's scent comforted you?” He made a dramatic face. “I've always found it more traumatic.”
I rolled my eyes. “I'm talking about his scent, not his gym gear, and yes, it's very comforting. He smells like the woods.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Is comforting or was?”
“Stop mincing words.”
“Kind of a big difference.”
“Would you focus, please? Do you have anything we could give Maverick that has your scent on it? Preferably not a sweaty T-shirt.”
“Nah, I save the romantic stuff for my boyfriend.” I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he was joking. “I guess I could bring him my blanket, if you really think it would help.”
“Yes! That's perfect,” I said enthusiastically. “Um, do you mind if I go get it? I'd rather not be alone with him.”
He reached into his pocket for his keys and handed them to me. “I was gonna ask if you didn't. No offense.”
“None taken. Safety first, nonexistent vampire feelings second.”
He rolled his eyes as I left the room and ran upstairs. I shoved his keys into my pocket only to realize that Sebastian's were still there. I hesitated in front of his old room before turning back to Brendan's. No time to get sidetracked.
Brendan's room was surprisingly neat. Posters of sports teams and athletes covered his walls, and a considerable book collection lined the top shelf on his desk. I was fighting the temptation to snoop when I bumped into the corner of his desk on my way to collect the blanket and knocked over a picture frame. I righted it quickly and couldn't help but catch a glimpse of the man in the picture.
He was young, probably in his early twenties at the most. His hair was shaggy and brown and he had a slightly pudgy heart-shaped face. He was cute, but nothing like the model type I'd expected. Maybe it wasn't his boyfriend but a brother or a cousin. Either way, I reminded myself that it was none of my business and collected the soft fuzzy blanket on top of Brendan's comforter.
It had a wolf's head woven into the front with a snowy mountain backdrop. Of course. Wrapping the blanket in my arms, I locked up and ran back downstairs. Brendan was still waiting outside the room and I couldn't help but think Maverick's words had unknowingly caused some hurt feelings.
“This one, right?” I asked.
He saw what I was holding and frowned slightly. “I meant the other one, but yeah, I guess that's fine. It was just a gift.”
“Oh,” I said, paralyzed by awkwardness. A gift? From the boyfriend? “I'll go grab the other one, sorry,” I said, starting towards the door.
He held a hand out to stop me. “It's fine, that one will have my scent on it more strongly. I just need to get it back.”
“I promise I'll get it from him later. This is just to keep him calm until Clara gets up,” I said, walking back into Maverick's room.
He looked a me with wide albeit exhausted eyes. “What's that?” he asked, eying the blanket warily.
“Just something to keep you warm,” I said, covering him with it. I made sure to tuck it in close to his face. “How's that?”
“It's nice, I guess,” he said, snuggling in after a moment. “This smells really good, almost like woodsmoke. What's on it?”
“Laundry detergent,” I lied. My theory was right. The tension left his expression and a few moments later he was curled up in sheer bliss. “You still want me to find a way to put you in that trance?” I asked.
“No thanks,” he said, yawning. “I am really tired, though. Maybe I'll take a nap.”
“That's probably for the best,” I said, fighting a smile as I turned out the lights. “There's fresh water by the bed and someone will be out here the entire time. Just call if you need anything.”
I waited a moment for a response, but there was none. I closed the door softly and mouthed, “Yes!” to Brendan.
“That fast?” he asked nervously. “Just because of my blanket?”
“He said it smells like woodsmoke.”
“It's never been outside.”
“No, but that's exactly what your blood tastes and smells like,” I said. “I'm working purely off a hunch here, but Victor's blood tastes like wine and his scent is the same to me. Sebastian always smelled like the forest to me, even before I became a vampire.”
“Don't you think that's just a weird vampire thing?”
“Maybe, but Maverick isn't a vampire and he picked up on the same scent. I think there's a scent every verndari has that only your mate can pick up on.”
“It's not like I marked him,” he muttered. “It's not official. We don't even know for sure that he is a wolf.”
I dialed back my enthusiasm once I saw how much the topic was bothering him. “Sorry. Maybe it's just a werewolf thing in general, I didn't mean to suggest that you'd marked him or anything.”
“How would I know if I had?” he asked worriedly. “Where's yours?”
“Sebastian's is—I mean was—on the back of my left hand and Victor's is on my right.”
He reached out to grab my hands, turning them upside down. “I don't see anything.”
“I don't either, not usually. From what I've gathered, a mark is usually only visible to psychics and the wolf who placed it.”
“How did they put them there?” His panic was increasing.
“Well, Sebastian stamped my hand when I came into the club,” I muttered. “The stamp wore off, but the mark stayed. Victor and I still aren't sure how it happened, but he thinks it had something to do with the injections of his blood Ulric and Clara were giving me. I think it just depends.”
“So you're saying I could have marked him somehow without even knowing it?”
; “It's possible, but there's no need to freak out,” I told him. “Ulric told me that a mark only becomes active if you're already in love.”
His shoulders relaxed slightly. “Really?”
“Yes. And it's obviously not permanent or I'd still be wearing Sebastian's mark, so there's that.”
“What makes you so sure you're not?”
I glanced down at my left hand. “He stopped seeing it after I became a vampire. Besides, I'm already marked by Victor. It can't happen twice.”
“Why not?” he asked, eying me. “It's pretty obvious you're capable of loving two people at once.”
“I'm not sure I like what you're implying, Brendan.”
He shrugged. “Like it or not, it's the truth. I see the way you still look at him. I'm not saying you don't love Victor, but I don't think you ever really stopped loving Sebastian either. Who says you can't love two people at the same time?”
“Me,” I said, crossing my arms. “I'm not sure what else to tell you.”
He watched me for a moment before giving up. “Whatever. If a mark can just fade away, it wasn't much of a soulmate bond to begin with,” he muttered. “Stupid moon religion bullshit.”
“For bullshit, it's sure controlling our lives well enough. I'm sorry I don't have all the answers, Brendan. I barely understand any of this myself and it's hard to tell what's related to being a vampire and what's related to the mark. There is one person who seems to have a good grasp of it, though,” I ventured.
“Foster? Hell, no. I love that kid, but I made him swear to stop bothering me with that shit a long time ago,” he said. “If I wanted to get preached at by a religious nutjob, I'd move back home.”
“Come on, Brendan, give him a chance. Sure, he sounds crazy, but what about everything that's happened this past week isn't insane?” I gave his hand a squeeze. To my relief, what had transpired between us the night before hadn't seemed to diminish the intimacy of our friendship. “Let's just talk to Foster. It can't hurt and I know you want answers as badly as I do.”
He groaned dramatically. “Why can't you talk to him and just tell me what he says?”
“Because the poor thing is terrified of me,” I said. “And I don't blame him.”
