by Brandi Aga
He’s frowning already. “No, I’ll put her seat in the truck.” He hands her over to me, and she starts crying, trying to wiggle her way to him and away from me. Little traitor.
“Maddilyn, stop. It’s okay, we’re going with him.” She’s fighting me still while he gets her seat ready. When he’s finished, he swoops her up, ceasing her cry and making her laugh all in the same breath.
“We should get another one of these to keep in here, so we don’t have to do this all the time,” he says, nodding toward her seat.
I can’t help but look out the window and smile. That sounds really good to me.
Thirty minutes later, we’re driving into a secluded subdivision on the outskirts of Frisco. It’s all upcoming and new development around here. There’s not much out this way just yet, but Ryan says they have it in the plans to build all around here. Apparently, he’s done his homework.
We drive up the driveway of an immaculate two-story house that I’m immediately in love with. It has a freaking turret between the front door and the garage.
Confused, I ask, “What are we doing here?”
Ryan unbuckles and gets out, taking Maddy with him. “Come on, you have to see the inside.” It doesn’t go unnoticed that Ryan unlocks the door. With a key. That he had in his pocket.
What is going on?
Maddy squeals, pulling me out of my daydream. They are already inside, way ahead of me. “Wow, it’s gorgeous in here.” I can’t stop touching everything. The marble. Real marble. And wood. And stainless steel.
Ryan wears a know-it-all smirk and continues down the hall. He comes to a stop in front of what I’m assuming is a bedroom; I can’t tell with the door closed. He waves his hand toward the door for me to open it.
I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I feel like the doorknob is a lump of hot coal and it’s going to burn me when I touch it, but I open it anyway.
I’m speechless.
Ryan sets Maddy down on a fluffy gray rug and encourages her to play with the toys set out in front of her.
“Did you do this?” My heart is pounding in my chest, threatening to break free of its chambers. It’s the perfect room for a little girl. My little girl. I don’t know what this means. My hands are sweating profusely, and I can’t stop wiping them on my pants.
He grabs hold of my hand to stop my fidgeting. “I can’t just be friends. I can’t keep doing what we’re doing.” He stares at me, and I stare back like the idiot that I am, with no words. “Babe, do you like this house?”
“I love it. It’s gorgeous… but I don’t get why I’m looking at it. Or what I’m looking at,” I say, motioning to the pretty pink room I’m standing in.
He brings my sweaty hands to his lips and kisses them in the gentle way he does so well. “It’s yours,” he says, looking to me to get a read of my face, “if you want it. If you want me.”
“You want me to move in with you?”
“Took you longer than I thought to catch on.” He laughs.
“You did all of this for me?”
Ryan pulls me into his chest and cups his hands at the top of either side of my neck, our lips touching together. “I did it for all of us. You, me, and Maddy. I want us all to have a fresh start. Together.” We stand silently embraced while Maddy bangs away at her toys. “Do you need some time to think about it? I can wait. I don’t want to rush you. I just need to know that we can be something more. What we used to be, but the very best version of that.”
I squeeze him tighter and whisper, “I do want that. So much.”
“It’s ours, Ley. I spent all last month trying to get everything ready. Even had the help of that redhead you like so much.”
“Are you serious? How did you bribe her to keep this a secret?”
“I have my ways.”
“Oh God. What does that even mean?”
He kisses me on the head and picks Maddy up, throwing her up over his head, making her giggle. “Come on, you have to see the pool.”
I swear, Erin and I are going to have some major words after this.
“I’m seriously going to miss you. And that damn pussy,” she says, referring to Cloud. Ryan eyes her suspiciously.
“Real cute.” It’s tough hugging my best friend, saying goodbye after spending the last year with her. Our friendship has grown so much, and I will never be able to repay her for everything she has done for me—including her helping hand in healing my marriage.
“I think that’s the last box.” Ryan’s wearing a shirt with the sleeves cut off. It exposes his sides and arms he’s been killing in the gym. I swoon at the sight of him, sweaty and arm muscles twitching when he lifts my boxes.
Erin and I have spent the past month picking out paint colors and furniture for the new house. Ryan threw his hands up and granted us full access to do whatever the hell we wanted as long as he didn’t have to go into another store with the two of us. We tried that, epic failure. I think Ryan might have cried more than Maddy did.
All the furniture has been delivered and arranged into the perfect spot. All that’s left is me and Maddy. We started hauling boxes over this morning, and I don’t have that many to begin with, so it’s a fairly painless moving job.
Ryan just put the last batch in the back of his truck, and my heart’s a little heavy. This apartment holds a lot of heartache but a lot of happiness too. A lot of healing went on inside these walls. I brought my baby girl home from the hospital here and experienced so many of her firsts.
Knowing I can’t live with my best friend forever, I squeeze her tight and take one last glance around the place.
“You know you can still come over any time. Although, I plan to spend all our time together at your place, not this crappy little dungeon.”
I laugh. “Of course. Ryan can feed us and buy us all the books and movies.”
“Yep, what she said,” Ryan agrees. It’s weird seeing them close again. I didn’t think things would ever be the same again after the past few years. I tell Erin everything, the good and the bad. So, she was always pissed at him, and he was always pissed at her for being pissed. It was a vicious cycle. This is why you don’t air out your dirty laundry. Praise the good things in your relationships and don’t invite negativity into it.
“Text me every day. And send pictures of my baby.” Erin tickles Maddy’s toes, and she kicks her hand away, giggling. It’s bittersweet, leaving my best friend, but I’m thankful I’ve gained two other important people in my life. I finally have my family back, and I will do everything in my power to keep it that way.
“We’re home, baby girl.” I cringe when I realize she’s out like a light. Can’t keep her awake in the car, five minutes or two hours, doesn’t matter. Ryan’s already carrying boxes in, and I can’t stop staring at how beautiful this house is. That day Ryan brought me here, I took a picture of it, and I’ve looked at it every day since. And now it’s here in front of me.
It’s even prettier on the inside. Maple coffee wood floors, mindful gray on the walls, finished off with thick white trim. I’m obsessed with white; it’s so clean. The kitchen is probably my favorite room in the house, ironically enough. Maybe that will give me some motivation to learn to cook something other than pizza rolls.
I run my hand up the whitewashed brick wall the oven sits in. Ryan walks up behind me and rubs his hands down my front, slipping them inside my leggings.
“You look hot, standing in our kitchen,” he whispers in my ear.
I can’t say anything, the words caught in my throat. I lean back, putting all my weight into him. “Wait… Maddy…”
“Still sleeping, just checked.” He pushes my pants down all the way, and I step out of them one foot at a time. I gasp as he spins me around and slams me down on the island. The sting of the cold marble countertop jolts through me.
“Put your leg up over the sink,” he demands, guiding my foot behind the faucet. The sink is a large farmhouse sink, placed at the edge of the middle of the island. I prop my leg up
behind it, foot flat on the cool, hard surface. My other leg dangles off the counter. Ryan grabs hold of my waist and pulls me closer to him, my ass barely hovering over the sink. I lie back and prop myself up on my elbows to watch him worship me.
He unhooks the water hose that detaches from the faucet and turns it on, letting out a steady mist of water and waves it between my legs. I close my eyes and indulge in his pleasure.
Water is going all over the counter and slowly dripping down to the floor, more so than what’s actually going into the sink, but fuck it, I’ll clean it up later. Ryan leans over me and devours my mouth with his. He’s got one hand on the water sprayer and one in the waistband of his shorts. My heart beats faster in anticipation of what’s coming.
Abandoning the sprayer in the sink, he pulls me off the counter. “Wrap your legs around me.” He inches inside of me, slowly, pacing himself. My eyes find his and hold his gaze.
“I love you,” I say, blowing out a breath, resting my forehead to his.
“I love you, Ley.” He changes his pace and turns us around, slamming me into the brick wall. “You feel so good.”
I’m going to have scratches all over my backside after this, but they will be well deserved. It’s so hot, and he’s hitting all the right places at all the right times. It’s not going to last much longer.
“I’m about to come, babe,” he grunts through clenched teeth. I kiss his neck and bite him the way he likes just below his ear. Another thrust and he’s pulling out, leaving a huge mess all over my stomach.
He takes a second to catch his breath. “We have really awesome water pressure,” he jokes with that sexy grin.
“Cute. Real cute.”
I wake to the unpleasant sound of machines beepin’ in my ear. The lights in here are bright. I squeeze my eyes shut to avoid the blinding headache. My chest hurts, feels like an elephant stomped around on it with knives strapped to its feet. It feels like I got shot.
I look around the room, and I’m surprised to find that I’m alone. My right arm is handcuffed to the bed, giving me no slack. I shake it as hard as I can. Metal clanks against metal, and I cringe as the cuff cuts into my wrist, drawing blood. Fuck.
“Oh, you’re awake.” The nurse saunters in the room as I’m in the middle of my temper tantrum, just another day on the job for her. “Do you remember how you got here?”
“What’s with this?” I ask, gesturing to my hand anchored to the bed.
“Relax, sir. That’s for your safety and mine.” Right. “I’ll send the doctor in to discuss your treatment, and there are quite a few officers outside that would like a word with you when you feel up to it.”
“No need. I ain’t sayin’ shit.”
She purses her lips together like she wants to give me a piece of her mind, but she doesn’t. Instead, she offers some wisdom. “That’s up to you, but a bit of advice, if I may… I think it would be in your best interest to cooperate with those fellas out there. Whatever you did to get yourself in this state, they are not happy.” I still say nothing. “Are you in pain? How would you rate it from one to ten?”
“No. Zero,” I lie.
Sighing, she types on her computer for another minute before exiting the room. It’s not long before two cops work their way in.
“Roman Blackhart?”
“That’d be me.”
“You like to tell me what’s going on here?”
“You mean you’re not room service?”
He ignores my joke, but I can tell I’m gettin’ on his nerves. “What were you doing at Arcane this morning? Ran the tapes, and it wasn’t your first visit either.”
Silence.
“Are you aware of what goes on at Arcane during regular business hours?”
Silence.
“Did you shoot an individual named Armillio Caballero, who just so happens to be Arcane’s owner, and an Angel Vasquez?” Angel must be that smelly fuck I shot in the hallway.
“No,” I lie again. The cops exchange a glance at each other. Dumbass number one gets up and walks over closer to my bed.
“Got an off-duty officer who says you did. Says he saw it happen. Was sitting at the bar, doing a little ‘undercover sting’ when he saw you walk in.”
“Undercover, right. You mean your dirty cop on Arcane’s payroll.”
The cop smirks like he just won the lottery. “Did an… extensive… background check on Mr. Caballero, connected him with an Emerson Blackhart and a Diane Blaine. Sound familiar?”
“Shut the fuck up,” I warn him.
“You picked a bad day to be a hero, Blackhart.” He pats me on my chest, where the bandage is covering my bullet wound. “Don’t go anywhere.” He chuckles and points to my handcuffs. “Oh, that’s right, you won’t.” He gathers his papers, and dumbass number two follows close behind him. Dumbass number one turns around just before closing the door. “We’ll be in touch.” He winks.
I slowly turn around as Armillio walks straight into my line of vision. I could kill him right fuckin’ now. He waltzes over to me like he doesn’t have a death wish. He holds both arms out to his sides, stretched out wide, in offering. “I always knew this day would come,” he taunts with a laugh. “Just thought it would be a lot sooner than now.”
I stare him down, waiting for the right moment. This is too easy. I want to make him suffer like he did them.
There’s a scuffle at the bar, but I don’t dare turn my head or take my eyes off the monster who I let destroy my family—my mom, my baby sister, Leylah.
I hear a gunshot off to the right where all the commotion is comin’ from. Armillio keeps darting his eyes from me to the door, unsure of which one he should tend to first.
The decision is made for him when the air gets cloudy. We can’t fuckin’ breathe.
Tear gas.
I’m losing my chance, just standing here. I cover my nose with my shirt and make my move. I pull my knife out of my boot as he raises his gun, but I’m quicker. I shove it straight through his neck, slicing through his carotid artery. I stand over him and watch in fascination at all the blood spurting out of him. I’m just as sick as he is for loving this so much.
I don’t have much time left. I lose the knife and hold my gun at his temple. Blood splutters from his lips; he’s fading in and out. I’m not letting him slip out of this life that easily, no. Over and over, I fire straight into his temple until his body goes limp, his soul on its way to hell where it belongs.
My victory is short lived when I run out of bullets and look around at the chaos around me. I glance down at my chest and realize I’ve been hit. More than once. The guy at the bar aims and shoots another hole in my chest, right above the first one, followed by a shot in the arm. My gun falls to the floor with a loud clatter from the impact.
I sink to my knees, or at least I think I do. It feels like I’m in quicksand. Free falling to the ground. This is it. Armillio is pulling me down with him.
I jolt awake when the door closes with a bang. Must have been the nurse. I try to sit up best I can, still anchored down to the bed. My pain is at a minimum compared to what it was. Bitch from earlier gave me something in my IV.
The phone is right there on my bedside table. I could call Leylah and tell her where I am, to get me the fuck out of here. We could go somewhere with Blaze, take all our money and never look back.
I shake my head to clear my thoughts. It’s the drugs in my system talkin’. Can’t do that. Everything is part of the plan. This wasn’t, but it doesn’t matter now. She has someone to take care of her. Blaze stalked him for months for me. He’s legit.
Fuck it hurts. Everything hurts. And I’m not just talkin’ about the bullet holes in my body. I’m talkin’ about the ones that were left there by all the people I love leaving me. I lay my head back against the shitty hospital pillow and let the pain meds take me under.
I love the fall. Everything is crisp and orange. It’s still not cold this time of year in Texas, but the nights get chilly, so I’ll take it. I
t’s my favorite time of year. Maddy and I spend the majority of our time outside. She loves to be pushed in her stroller while I run.
Ryan and I have been settling down into our new normal. Whatever normal is, I don’t know, but it works for us.
“Dada!” Maddy squeals, banging her hands on the window by the front door. I don’t know why I bother cleaning her handprint smudges off more than once a day. I peek past her with a quick glance outside.
“Your daddy isn’t home yet, little girl.” I look back outside, as suspected, no one’s there.
I put Maddy in her stroller for our afternoon run and push her down the front walkway. If there’s one thing I love about this neighborhood, it’s the convenience of having a safe place to exercise every day. No traffic, privacy, and a dose of Vitamin D.
I stop off at the mailbox first. I normally don’t check it till we get back, but there’s a magnetic attraction, pulling me toward it.
I open the metal lid, and there’s one small piece of mail lying there all by itself. It looks out of place.
No return stamps.
No address.
Just “Leylah” scribbled in ink.
With trembling fingers, I turn the envelope over and gently open it. Inside is a lonely scrap of torn-off notebook paper.
DOC# 55567 California State Prison
The bottom corner reads BCM with the skull and swallow’s logo. It’s from Roman’s office. I run my finger over it and close my eyes. The memories of our time spent together comes flooding back.
“Hey, gorgeous. You already run yet?”
I jump. I didn’t hear Ryan’s truck pull up beside me; I was so engrossed in that piece of paper. I shake my head no. “You scared me.” I hold my hand over my chest and laugh, trying not to let any tears escape and keeping the note balled up under my palm.
“Let me pull in and grab my shoes. I’ll come with you two.”
