Her eyes snapped back to his. “I don’t know.”
“Yeah, I’m getting that, which makes me all the more curious.”
What could she say? That she’d chosen him to get close to his brother? Confirming that everything was about Val, and nothing was about Leo? Her heart was all about Leo, regardless of how hard she fought it, so she told him her second truth. The truth that was slowly driving her to the brink of madness.
She struggled to speak, and when she finally managed, every word was hoarse, broken, fighting to stay inside, hidden away in the parts of her that were growing darker by the second. “Leo, I chose you because you’re open. You’re caring. You’re hilarious, and sharp as hell. You never cease to surprise me when you sideswipe me with some insane comeback or anecdote.” She cradled her chin in her hand and reached out, running it along the dip in his V-neck sweater. “You make me feel really safe. Like nothing bad could ever happen as long as you’re close enough.” With every word that spilled out of her mouth, she wished she could take them all back, because she meant them all way too much. Her finger trailed down to his forearm, pushing up his sweater so she could tap her finger against the flame on his wrist. “What’s this one for?”
He chuckled. “My eighteenth birthday. An hour after midnight. I was desperate for my second tat. Any tat. A flame was the fastest and most logical choice.”
She moved up, pushing the sweater to his elbow, hearing him inhale as she swept her fingers along the Buddha on his forearm.
“This one?”
His eyes searched hers. “Look closer.”
She leaned in, noticing that the tattoo was comprised of detailed calligraphy in the shape of a Buddha.
“Every morning we are born again,” she read, brushing her finger across each word. “And what we do today is what matters most.”
His eyes never left her as she read the passage.
She pulled her hand away from his arm the moment she finished and pushed away when her lungs threatened to close up, taken by the emotion. She turned back to the water, hiding her eyes.
He sat up when she retreated. “Where you going?” he demanded, taking her arm and tugging her back.
She plopped down on her back next to him, bouncing on the cushion.
He sat up and cradled his arm on either side of her body, trapping her under him.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she answered, eyes falling to his lips. The truth was, that quote had hit too close to home. When he found out the truth about her, what she did today would not be what mattered most to him. What she’d done yesterday would define her in his mind for life. He would file her into a place that he only visited with anger and hatred in his heart.
He moved on top of her, and she breathed deep under his glorious weight. It had been a long time since a man had laid every inch of his body on her. Leo already knew how to make her heart stop with one hit of his intense eyes, so feeling him on top of her, limbs searing together, she was sure she might stop breathing and never inhale again. She might die right there underneath him.
Her heart zoomed to a stop, and almost made it so.
One, two, three…
Leo’s eyes zeroed in on her lips and he leaned in.
Seven, eight, nine…
He froze just short of his lips touching hers, and she wondered if her heart was finally finished. Finished lying. Finished fighting.
Ten, eleven, twelve seconds.
He brushed the tip of his nose along hers, a serene calm pooling his eyes, sending his lips pushing down, closing the last sliver of space, covering her own in a gentle kiss.
Her heart exploded under her ribs and nearly climbed up her throat to meet the moan that boomed deep from his, thudding back to life as she savored his soft lips. He spread them wide over hers, begging for her tongue. She obliged, and the kiss deepened.
He moaned again. “I’ve never wanted a woman so badly,” he whispered into the kiss.
“I want to make love.” Her heart picked up the moment she said the words.
Gold eyes coming undone, he gasped as she spread her lips over his again, panting a shaky, “Yes,” into the warm cavern of her mouth before diving in.
They clutched each other, pulling their bodies flush. A groan left her lips, so soft and sweet that it pulled the opposite reaction from him. His eager hands clawed her ass, tugging her to him with a vengeance and rolling them until she was on top, their lips sealed tight.
She straddled him and they cried out together when she sat on his hardness, grinding as they attempted to satiate their burning flesh through the fabric of their clothes. She circled against the heated bulge as her eyes rolled back, feeling his size through his jeans, whimpering when her center clenched tight.
She pulled her lips from his with a smack.
His mouth fell open, sucking in air that was making a rapid escape, clawing his fingers in her hair as her warm lips traveled down his jaw to his neck.
“I want it to be right with you,” he whispered, struggling to find words as his body surrendered to her mouth, rolling with heat. “I want you to feel what I feel.”
“So show me.” She tossed her head, making her hair fly as her eyes met his. Her lips pressed to the dip in his sweater, eyes crinkling as she smiled. “Show me what you feel, Leo.”
His eyes grew hooded. Their serious gazes locked and wrestled. A smile pushed her lips and she lowered her eyes, kissing down his chest once more.
Chilly weather conquered by lust, Leo took the bottom of his sweater and ripped it over his head. She sat up and watched him toss it, immediately returning her greedy lips to his neck.
His hands sank back into her hair as her kisses trickled between his pecs, leaving a heated trail of love along each pronounced valley at his abs.
He ran his knuckles along her cheek. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
She took the waistband of his jeans between her teeth and tugged.
He laughed at the sight, taking her arms when she went for the button of his jeans. “How do you feel about me, Ashley?”
Ashley.
Jessica’s eyes flew up to his.
Ashley.
The smile on her face vanished.
Ashley.
She released her hold on the button of his jeans, and gaped at him in shock.
Leo’s eyes widened at the sudden halt.
“You’re right,” she said, swallowing. She crawled back up to eye level, even as her pussy clenched for the bulge she’d been seconds from taking in her mouth. “We should go slower.”
Leo stumbled, sputtered, and faltered. “I didn’t mean that.” He smiled. “You didn’t have to stop.”
She pressed her lips to his.
He sank into the kiss for several seconds and then pulled back. “I just don’t want you to feel like this is… casual for me.” He shook his head. “Because this is the least casual I think I’ve ever felt. This feels real.”
Jessica’s eyes searched his.
He frowned. “Doesn’t it?”
She didn’t answer. It did feel real. Which was why she’d stopped herself in the nick of time, seconds from finding out if his dick was as big as it looked pushing against his zipper. Seconds away from sucking the aching tip between her eager lips. It did feel real.
Which was why hearing him call her Ashley had sent the air blasting out of her lungs.
It was so damn real, it was scaring her to death.
Taking her silence as appreciation, he smiled, leaning in, staring at her lips, stopping just short of kissing her.
She closed the space and covered his lips with hers, hearing him gasp and return it deeply.
Pulling back, she let the warm air vibrate between their lips for a moment before lying back on the chair. He reclaimed the blanket and followed her, lying next to her and tucking his lips into the dip in her neck.
She waited for his lips to taste the skin there, for the heat of his tongue. She waited for him to suck the sensi
tive skin into his mouth and attempt to get her back to the erotic place she’d been in a moment before—one last ditch effort to get her legs spread wide.
Instead, he fanned the heavy blanket around their shoulders while cuddling his head into the crook of her neck, breathing her in as his arms curled around her waist.
Her hand went to the back of his head, and he breathed deep, snuggling closer, moaning when she pulled him in.
Her fingers disappeared into his thick hair, massaging his scalp with her nails until she felt his breathing slow, and then deepen.
She was right on his heels, her eyes fluttering closed before she could even think to stop them.
20
Their yacht getaway flew by in an instant, and before she could blink, Jessica and Leo were cradled in each other’s arms as the helicopter descended into Central Park, taking in the scenic views.
It must have been how fast it was coming to an end, the finality of it all, that made Leo speak for the first time the entire ride. The ground was coming in quick, and as soon as they landed, they would both be back to the real world.
“How do you feel about me?” he asked, as the helicopter’s feet touched the ground.
Jessica held her breath.
During their time on the yacht, they hadn’t made love. Not physically. But they had delved deep into each other’s minds and hearts. Jessica had let him go as deep as she could, but he’d really opened his waters to her, letting her submerge herself in his darkest depths, the kind that were heavy enough to crush even the strongest bones. In two days, he’d dropped every shield, while she still had a million standing tall. Shields she could never fully drop, no matter how badly she wanted to.
“What?” She feigned confusion, hoping he’d get embarrassed and pretend he hadn’t said anything, like a normal guy. If Jessica had learned anything about Leo, however, it was that he wasn’t a normal guy, and he didn’t embarrass easily.
“You heard me.” His eyes darkened.
She waited for his signature smile, or even a hint of it at the corner of his mouth, but it never came. She understood she had to choose her words with a careful hand.
When her silence went on too long, he ran his hand down his face, jamming his eyes closed. They stayed closed for a while, and he breathed deep, looking back at her while pulling that hand from his mouth and motioning between their bodies.
“I’d like to know how you feel about me, Ashley.”
There were so many answers to that question, Jessica felt an intense migraine coming on at just the thought of exploring them all.
How did she feel about Leo?
She cared for him, craved him, and feared him. She feared what he was capable of doing to her, and how willing she was to let him. She feared falling for a man who was destined to hate her. There was no suspense here. She already knew the ending to their story, and it wasn’t happy.
So she breathed in, searched his eyes, and told the only truth that wouldn’t make her sink any deeper than she already had.
“I love being with you.” She saw the disappointment in his eyes. “And I just want to spend more time together.”
Leo’s head fell.
She cupped his jaw, waiting for him to look at her.
“Did you mean it when you said you would be patient with me, Leo?”
He turned his head and kissed the inside of her hand just as Joey killed the helicopter’s engine.
Even though he whispered, the silence made his words seem like they were booming. “I’ll wait for you forever, Ashley.”
Ashley.
Jessica didn’t know how much more she could take.
***
It had taken nearly half an hour to round up the bevy of women scattered all over his apartment. The moment he’d stepped through the front door, they’d showered him with fragrant hugs and kisses, demanding to know where he’d been while regaling him with stories of how much they’d missed him.
The loving greetings had never felt so empty to Leo.
So he rounded them up in his living room, and the moment he said the words he’d planned to say, his heart didn’t hurt the way he thought it would. No, as he leaned forward on the edge of his coffee table, gaze dancing from one set of eyes to the next, each unique in their own way, each swimming with a different emotion, all he felt was relief.
Sarah was the first to speak, tossing her fiery hair over the top of her head. The words that left her mouth were a direct contrast to her calm demeanor. “Say that again?” she demanded.
Leo’s eyes went to her. “I met somebody.”
When he repeated himself for the second time, the gasps that floated across the room made it seem like it was the first. The dozen or so bodies scattered on the couch before him, all in varying amounts of dress and undress, shifted at his words.
“She’s special, and I want to be a good man to her. So… no more parties. No more sleepovers. No more booze. No more X. No more.”
“Coke?” A hopeful voice chimed in.
Leo cracked a smirk. “No, babe.”
A heavy silence floated through.
“Wake up, y’all. Party’s over.” A knowing smile threatened Sarah’s lips. “He’s finally breaking up with us.”
Leo held his hands out. “She thinks I’m a good man, and I want her to be right. I want to prove her right. Good men don’t have a house full of women at all hours of the day.” He breathed in when he saw disappointment filling the eyes of some of the girls, girls who’d licked his silent wounds, stroked his fragile ego, and placed metaphorical duct tape over the most broken pieces of him, time and time again, for years. Pieces that Ashley Williams had managed to seal back together in less than a month.
He couldn’t imagine what Ashley Williams, a self-proclaimed feminist who, to that very day, took absolutely none of his shit, would think if she knew he’d kept his door open to hordes of women for years.
“I’m sorry.” He held his hands out. “I’ve been running from myself, and apart of me has used you all to do it. And, for that, I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t use us, Leo,” a brunette sitting on the edge of the couch wearing just a bra and panties said. “It’s not like you have us here against our will. We like it here. Free food—”
“Free booze—” Another soft voice chimed in.
“Free drugs—”
“We’re here because we love you, and it’s fun,” Sarah said, sighing. “We always knew it wasn’t forever.”
He dropped his head.
“The party had to end sometime. And if you’re happy, I’m happy,” she said, nodding. “And Leo?”
His eyes met hers.
She smiled. “Good for you.”
***
Jessica leaned against her office desk next to Chet, arms crossed, fighting not to roll her eyes. She knew that if she did let them roll, they might fall right out of the back of her head from sheer force.
Harper stood before them, arms crossed and lips pulled tight.
“Two days in the Hamptons, B. Two days wasted, lying on a yacht in the Hamptons. Time that could’ve been spent working.” Harper squinted at Jessica and Chet, and his voice rose. “Are we uncovering a murder, or are we going on all-expenses-paid vacations?”
Jessica and Chet’s eyes met. Chet raised his eyebrows and looked away from her with a shake of his head.
Jessica watched him in awe. Traitor.
Her eyes went back to Harper. “Harp, Leo sprung it on me last minute. It was a surprise for Ashley Williams, a woman he thinks he’s building a relationship with. Of course I had to go on the trip. Denying him would’ve put my credibility at risk.”
“Bullshit.” Harper pointed a finger at her. “You agreed to go because you wanted to.”
“That’s not true. I had to go along to maintain the integrity of the investigation.”
“Integrity.” Harper laughed.
“Harp, in her defense, getting close to Leo has given us the kind of access to the Romanovskys
we never could’ve dreamed of otherwise. She’s been inside their home, has bugged almost every room in there, in Novsky’s offices, and damn near every one of the brothers. It has given us invaluable leads. Her getting a mic on Reggie is the only reason we have audio of King putting a hit out on an innocent woman, even if the audio wasn’t admissible, we have a warrant that gives us six months to obtain audio that is. The surveillance she has on Val and Roman have confirmed that the Romanovskys not only know what happened to the Blacks that night, but that they played a hand. It’s only a matter of time before this family sinks themselves. Without Jess romancing this chump, we wouldn’t have any of these things. Have the rest of your agents made the kind of strides in the years they’ve been after King that Jess has made in three weeks? I doubt it.”
Jessica glowered at Chet. He always waited until the last second to speak the hell up.
He threw her a wink.
Harper sighed, meeting Jessica’s eyes. “When you convinced me to reopen this branch of the case, you were sure we could use the Romanovskys to get to King.”
“We can.”
“I’m not so sure anymore.”
“Well, you know what? I am sure. I am completely sure that if I was a man, you would not be questioning me right now. We would not be sitting in this office right now, having this bullshit conversation. If I was a man, you’d be giving me the trust and freedom to do my fucking job. It’s been three weeks, Harp, and you’re already down my throat!”
Chet’s head fell.
“This has nothing to do with you being a woman,” Harper said.
She scoffed.
“You’ve forgotten how well I’ve come to know you, B. That I know you have a habit of forgetting when you’re at work, and when you’re living your real life. This isn’t the first time.”
Jessica looked off, staring out of the window with a shake of her head.
“You’re my best agent. I do trust you, which is why I fought for you, fought to reopen this case, put my job on the line to reopen this case, because you told me you could close it…”
“I can.”
Harper waited for her heated eyes to come back to him. “I used to work undercover, too. I understand how easily the line between what’s real and what isn’t can get blurred. To the point that you can no longer see straight.”
Loving Leo (The Romanovsky Brothers Book 3) Page 21
