by Lynn LaFleur
“I’m gonna come.”
Kirk didn’t stop.
“I’ll shoot all over your chest.”
Kirk pushed in his fingers and massaged Josh’s prostate. That did it. Josh couldn’t have stopped his orgasm if a tornado whipped through the cabin. His balls tightened, drew up close to his body. Cum barreled up his dick to explode out the slit, splattering on Kirk’s chest and stomach.
Josh grabbed Kirk’s shoulder with his free hand and locked his knees to keep from falling. “God, that was hot.”
“I’ll say.” Kirk dragged his finger through the cum on his chest, lifted it to his mouth. “Mmm, tastes good.”
“So do you.” Josh leaned over and gave Kirk a long, passionate kiss. “I’ll get a washcloth for you.”
It took a moment for his legs to work right, then Josh walked into the bathroom. He cleaned himself first, wet a fresh washcloth to take to Kirk. He found his lover lying on his back on the bed, Kirk’s skin still dotted with Josh’s cum. Despite the earth-shattering orgasm he’d experienced, Josh’s cock stirred at the sexy sight.
He sat on the edge of the bed, gently bathed Kirk’s chest and stomach. “Do you have any idea how sexy you look lying there with my cum all over you?” He lowered the washcloth toward Kirk’s abdomen and bumped his hardening cock. He grinned. “I guess you do.”
“Watching you jerk off was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen.”
Josh tossed the washcloth to the floor, laid his hand over Kirk’s dick. He didn’t caress it, didn’t pump it, he simply touched it. “Everything with you is hot.”
Unable to resist the lure of Kirk’s lips, Josh bent over and kissed the other man. Kirk wrapped his arms around Josh, pulled him closer. Josh rolled them so they lay on their sides, facing each other. His cock began to respond to the feel of Kirk’s skin against his.
He groaned when Kirk gripped both their dicks in his hands. Josh continued kissing his lover, running his hand up and down Kirk’s back, while Kirk worked their cocks together. It felt good, but he would need more stimulation to come again.
Apparently, Kirk felt the same way. He pulled back, looked into Josh’s eyes. “On your knees.”
Curious about what Kirk planned to do, Josh didn’t hesitate to rise to his knees on the bed. Kirk also rose and faced Josh. He moved closer until their hard cocks touched. Once more gripping them, Kirk rubbed them together as he kissed Josh again.
Having Kirk working their dicks left both of Josh’s hands free to explore his lover’s body. He kissed the spot beneath Kirk’s ear that he knew gave Kirk so much pleasure. He tugged on his partner’s earlobe with his teeth, kissed his way along Kirk’s jaw back to his mouth.
He would never tire of kissing this man.
Emotion swelled in his chest, an emotion he’d never experienced with another man. Since Josh had never been in love, he didn’t know how it felt. This breathless, heart-pounding, want-to-be-with-Kirk-all-the-time feeling had to be love. He couldn’t imagine calling something so strong anything else.
The pre-cum leaking from his and Kirk’s slits made their dicks easily slide together. Josh drove his tongue into Kirk’s mouth, moaned when Kirk sucked on it. Sweat covered his skin, and Kirk’s. Desire built, peaked, resulting in his second orgasm grabbing his balls only seconds before Kirk jerked from his own release.
Josh’s legs gave out on him. He wilted to the bed, his arms still wrapped around Kirk so his lover went with him. They once again lay on their sides, facing each other. Josh didn’t even have the strength to open his eyes for several moments. When he did, he saw Kirk staring at him with tenderness and caring.
Josh touched Kirk’s lips, smiled when Kirk kissed his fingertips. “If you have any more tricks up your sleeve, they’ll have to wait until another day. I’m wiped.”
“If you think I can do anything else tonight, you’re way overestimating my abilities.”
“I don’t think I’m overestimating anything. Your abilities are awesome.” He gave Kirk a soft kiss. “We still on for this weekend in Dallas?”
“If you think I’m gonna turn down seeing a Cowboys game live, you’re nuts.”
Josh chuckled. “You hungry? I have a couple of slices of leftover pizza I can pop in the microwave.” He glanced down at their cum-splattered stomachs. “Maybe we should shower first.”
“Definitely shower first.”
“I’ll warn you, the shower stall is made for one person. It’ll be a tight fit for both of us.”
Kirk gave him a lazy grin. “I love tight fits.”
9
Two Months Later
Kirk blinked open his eyes shortly after six to see Josh lying next to him. Smiling, he reached out and ran his thumb down Josh’s cheek. Love not only filled his heart, but overflowed to occupy every part of his body.
His smile faded. He hadn’t told Josh of his feelings. Nor had Josh said anything about loving Kirk, although Kirk knew Josh cared. They’d spent the past two months together as much as possible without discussing where their relationship could be going.
Even though Josh said he didn’t hide his sexual preference, he hadn’t done anything to push his beliefs on Kirk. There were no public displays of affection at work, or even around town. Josh never took Kirk’s hand while they walked, never tried to sneak a kiss. Kirk appreciated that, but he couldn’t help feeling a little guilty about not being truthful with his friends. His family knew about his relationship with Josh, and while others might suspect he and Josh spent more time together than mere friends would, no one had said anything. There had been no snickers, no finger pointing, nothing that Kirk noticed from customers or people he passed on the sidewalks.
He considered that a good thing, since Josh would probably leave Lanville soon. Josh had told Kirk he’d be here two to three months when he accepted the job at Wilcox Lumber. Two months had already passed. Kirk suspected Josh would leave any day.
He would take Kirk’s heart with him, but Kirk would never stand in the way of Josh’s plans or happiness.
Josh opened his eyes. He gave Kirk a sleepy smile. “Hey.”
“Hey back.”
“Wha’ timezit?”
“Early. Go back to sleep.”
“ ’K.”
Josh closed his eyes, but opened them again seconds later. “Why aren’t you asleep?”
Kirk shrugged one shoulder. “Don’t know. I woke up a few minutes ago.”
“Maybe cuddling will help you fall asleep again.” Josh scooted closer until his hard cock bumped Kirk’s. “Or there are other options.”
While Kirk always enjoyed making love with Josh, he would rather talk this morning than have sex. “How about if I start breakfast for us? I’m in the mood for pancakes.”
A surprised look crossed Josh’s face. He apparently didn’t expect his offer of sex to be rejected. “Uh, sure. If that’s what you want to do.”
Kirk rose from the bed, crossed to the chest of drawers for socks and briefs. By the time he’d donned those, Josh sat up in bed with the covers to his waist, his arms resting on his raised knees. “Is something wrong?” he asked.
“Nope, I’m just hungry.” Kirk fastened his jeans, reached into another drawer for a T-shirt.
“You’re scaring me, Wilcox.”
“I don’t mean to.” Kirk sat on the side of the bed, reached for Josh’s hand. “Everything is fine.”
“I hear a ‘but’ after that sentence.”
Kirk blew out a breath. He didn’t know how to bring up what he wanted to discuss with Josh. “Let’s talk over breakfast, okay?”
He saw Josh’s throat work as he swallowed. “Okay.”
Kirk started the coffee first, then gathered the ingredients to make pancakes. He’d poured Bisquick into a bowl when Josh joined him. “Can I help?”
“Yeah. I bought a canned ham yesterday. You can slice it.”
Before Kirk had the chance to add milk to the bowl, Josh held his arm. “I won’t be able to eat anything witho
ut knowing what’s wrong.”
Kirk doubted if he’d be able to eat either. He wiped his hands on a dishtowel. “Let’s get some coffee and sit down.”
After pouring mugs for both of them, Kirk joined Josh at the table. He didn’t like the anxiety in his lover’s eyes and hoped he could quickly erase it. “I’ve, uh, been thinking about when you interviewed for your job. You said you didn’t plan to be here but two or three months. You’ve been here for two. Are you planning to leave soon?”
Josh set down his mug without taking a sip of the hot brew. “You may not believe this, but I’d planned to talk to you about that today.”
Kirk managed to give him a small smile. “Great minds.”
“Yeah.” Josh stared down into his mug, as if searching for the right words to say. “I’ve been getting … itchy to hit the road.” He lifted his gaze back to Kirk. “I like Lanville, I really do, but it was never my intention to stay here for very long.”
“I know that. You were honest about your plans from the start.”
Kirk silently toasted himself that he could make his voice sound so steady and calm while his heart slowly crumbled.
“I never expected to meet someone as special as you in this small town.” Josh pushed aside his untouched coffee, reached across the table, and laid his hand on top of Kirk’s. “Come with me.”
Not what Kirk expected Josh to say. “What?”
“We can see the U.S. together. I have plenty of money, more than I could ever spend by myself. We’ll go first class all the way. If we get tired of driving, we’ll get on a plane and fly. Europe, Asia, Australia … wherever you want to go.”
Kirk had no doubt his brother would jump at the chance to be “kept.” Kirk wouldn’t. Maybe he’d consider it if Josh said, “I love you.” Those words hadn’t yet come from Josh’s mouth.
He slowly drew his hand from beneath the other man’s. “I have a life here, Josh.”
“I know you do, but we could have a lot of fun together.”
Fun. Not a relationship, not together forever, just fun. Josh didn’t want a lifelong partner, he wanted a travel and fuck buddy.
No matter how much he wanted Josh to stay, Kirk would never beg him to remain in Lanville if staying would make Josh unhappy. He loved Josh enough to put his lover’s happiness before his own.
“I’m sure we could have a lot of fun, but I can’t go with you, Josh. My dad depends on me to run the company, which will be mine and Kory’s someday. My life is here.”
The crushed look on Josh’s face almost made Kirk change his mind. He pushed aside any sympathy for his lover’s hurt feelings. Kirk knew staying in Lanville was the right thing to do. He didn’t want the kind of life Josh wanted. He wanted forever. He wouldn’t get that with Josh.
“When do you want to leave?” Kirk asked.
“I was thinking around the first of March. That’ll give you time to hire someone to replace me.”
Less than three weeks from now, the man he loved would drive off in his fancy Mercedes convertible and Kirk would never see him again. “I appreciate the advance notice.”
Josh sat back in his chair, his eyebrows drawn together in a confused frown. “So is this it? Are we saying good-bye?”
“I guess we are,” Kirk said softly.
Pain flashed through Josh’s eyes and Kirk felt a moment of hope that Josh would change his mind. That hope died with Josh’s next words.
“Then there’s no reason for me to stay any longer. I’ll head for my cabin.”
Kirk followed Josh to the door, where Josh took his jacket from the coatrack and slipped it on. Kirk clenched his hands into fists to keep from pulling Josh into his arms and begging him to stay, despite swearing he would never do that.
Josh reached for the doorknob, but stopped before he turned it. He faced Kirk again, cradled Kirk’s nape, and gave him a gentle kiss. “Thanks for everything,” he whispered.
“You, too,” Kirk managed in a choked voice.
Kirk closed the door behind Josh, then wandered back to the kitchen. Pancakes held no appeal now. He put the milk in the refrigerator. He started to pour the Bisquick back into the box, but couldn’t since his hands shook. His knees gave out and he dropped to the floor. Sobs tore from his throat. Lowering his head, he let the tears fall.
Josh checked around the cabin once more to be sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. Living in such a small space for the last two-and-a-half months had been an adventure after living in his parents’ huge house in Dallas. But he’d proven to himself that he could get and hold a job on his own without his father’s help. That meant a lot to him.
Something else meant a lot to him, or he should say someone else—Kirk. He’d so hoped Kirk would agree to go with him, but he wasn’t surprised Kirk wanted to stay. The two of them would have had a blast together driving across the U.S. from east coast to west coast and all the places in between.
Josh wanted to share that experience with the man he cared about so much.
Releasing a heavy breath, Josh sat on the edge of the bed. He hadn’t wanted to admit to his strong feelings for Kirk, afraid they would interfere with the independence he’d sought for so long. But he couldn’t deny he’d fallen in love with the handsome blond. That didn’t matter, since Kirk hadn’t returned his feelings. If he’d loved Josh, he never would’ve let Josh leave his apartment so easily two weeks ago. He would’ve said the words Josh longed to hear.
You didn’t say the words to him either. You can’t blame him for something you didn’t do.
Josh ignored the voice inside his head. It didn’t matter now. Josh would leave here, go by Wilcox Lumber for his last paycheck, and be on his way.
Alone.
After stopping at the Country Woods’s office to turn in his key and settle his bill, Josh drove to Wilcox Lumber. Part of him wanted to see Kirk, and part of him didn’t want the pain of seeing him. He supposed he had no choice, since Kirk would be the one to give him his paycheck.
Josh pulled up to the back of the store and parked in the employees’ lot for the last time. He waved at Gus and Don as he got out of his car. He’d said his good-byes to everyone Saturday, his last day to work. Since the workweek stopped on Wednesday and checks were generated on Friday, he had three days’ pay due him. He’d told Kirk not to worry about paying him for the three days, but Kirk insisted he’d have the check ready today.
He walked into the back door and headed straight for the office. Kirk sat behind the desk, papers spread before him. Josh’s heart clenched at the sight of him. “Hey.”
Kirk looked up. Josh thought he saw a flash of longing in Kirk’s eyes, but it quickly disappeared. “Hey.”
“Just came by for my last paycheck.”
“You headed out of town?”
Josh nodded.
“Where are you going?”
“East. I’ll hit Highway 67 in Glen Rose and stop in Dallas to see my folks and sister once more before I take the interstate into Louisiana.”
Kirk’s gaze passed over Josh’s face, shoulders, and down to his fly before he pulled open a drawer in his desk and removed a white legal-sized envelope. Rounding the desk, he handed the envelope to Josh. “Have a safe trip.”
“Thanks.”
There didn’t seem to be anything else to say, yet Josh couldn’t make himself leave the office. He stared into Kirk’s gorgeous blue eyes and wanted so badly to ask Kirk if he cared about Josh as much as Josh cared about him.
Instead, he slapped the envelope against his palm and backed toward the door. “Well, thanks again for everything.”
Kirk nodded.
Josh turned and hurried out the back door and to his car. He had to blink back tears before he could see to start the car and back out of the parking spot.
“You know you’re an idiot, don’t you?” Kory asked from the office’s doorway.
Battling tears, it took Kirk a moment to find his voice to speak to his brother. “What are you babbling about?”
“He never said he loves me.”
“Did you tell him how you feel?”
Kirk didn’t answer, but his silence spoke for him for Kory frowned. “I knew it. You waited for him to say it first. When he didn’t, you let him go instead of fighting for him like you should have.”
“He didn’t want to stay here, Kory. I was a fuck buddy, nothing more.”
“I don’t believe that. I saw the way he looked at you, Kirk. He loves you as much as you love him. You need to go after him before he gets too far down the road and tell him how you feel.”
A tiny sprig of hope bloomed in Kirk’s heart. “Do you really think so?”
“Hell, yes, I really think so. Do you know where he’s heading?”
“Yeah, to Glen Rose and then up 67 to Dallas.”
Kory pointed toward the parking lot. “Then get your ass out of that chair and into your truck and find Josh before it’s too late.”
Kirk debated no more than five seconds before he decided Kory had a great idea. He jumped up from the chair, grabbed his jacket from the hook on the wall. After hugging his brother and whispering “Thanks” in Kory’s ear, Kirk ran out the back door.
He had his hand on the handle of his pickup when a squeal of brakes drew his attention. Kirk turned his head to see Josh’s car slam to a stop less than two feet away.
Kirk’s heart took off at a gallop.
Josh opened the driver’s side door, stood between it and the car while he stared at Kirk with longing in his eyes. Kirk took a step closer, then another. “I was on my way to find you.”
“I got a couple of miles outside of Lanville when I realized I couldn’t leave you.”
Kirk didn’t know who moved first, but in the next instant he held Josh in his arms. Josh gripped him tightly, their bodies pressed together from chests to groins. “Someone will see us,” he whispered in Kirk’s ear.
