by T Gephart
Katrina’s smile dipped, her disappointment evident as she agreed. “Sure, take care of business. We’ll get drinks.”
“You trying to save me or her?” He laughed as he wandered through the crowd. “I don’t think I can make it any more obvious that I’m not interested without being rude. I’m tempted to tell her I wear ladies underwear and my drag name is Luscious, but I’m positive she’d find a way to put a positive spin on it.”
I looked back over my shoulder, Katrina and Matt disappearing as we turned a corner. “Well, hopefully by the time we get back she’ll have recalibrated her target and Luscious can stay in the closet.”
“Really?” A devilish smile twitched at his lips. “I saw the two of you whispering at dinner and assumed his interest was with you.”
“Pfft, we weren’t whispering; we were conspiring. Two different things.”
“And here I thought I was the only man you were conspiring with, way to make a man feel special. After I confessed about my drag habit and everything.”
“Oh, he’s not even in the same league as you. Me and you—we’re in deep.”
He put his arm around me, pulling me in closer as he laughed. “Now you’re just stroking my ego. I’d tell you to stop, but I not so secretly like it.”
A rush passed through my body with the contact, goosebumps spreading across my skin. I was sure this was part of his rehearsal stage, but being touched felt nice even if it was under false pretenses.
His arm dropped just as fast, releasing me as we stopped suddenly. “So you thought any more on our breakup? Personally I think we should go with me deciding to join a secret underground fighting ring, I’ve always wanted to play Tyler Durden.”
“Huh?” I responded, the conversation taking a sharp turn.
“Our breakup, the reason we are no longer together. I just figured if you knew what that was, then I could help build it into the character. Don’t tell me we’re just going to drift apart or something lame like that.”
It made sense, but to be honest, I hadn’t given it much thought. I hadn’t given any of it much thought. I was just hoping to convince my family we were together in the first place, planning our spectacular demise was a problem I had yet to resolve.
My head tilted, the noise of the mingling surrounded us as I pondered. But as I looked him in the eyes, it was easy for it feel like it was just the two of us. Maybe it was because I wasn’t trying to impress him, and he wasn’t trying to get in my pants.
I liked it, feeling safe with him—with zero expectation.
“I guess you cheat on me, that would probably make sense.”
It seemed the most logical and would definitely be a deal breaker. And at the risk of it being cliché, it was a very easy out.
He looked at me, his brow knitting in displeasure. “How does that make sense? Why would I cheat on you?”
“Because . . .” I stopped, searching for an answer. “I don’t know, because people cheat. I don’t know why. Maybe they think the grass is greener on the other side, or maybe they got bored, maybe they have trouble with commitment, or maybe they are—”
“Stupid.” He finished my sentence, and not with the word I was going to use either. “That’s the only reason to cheat. Because they are stupid, anything else doesn’t fly.”
I studied him, almost enthralled at his answer. Of course, I knew all men didn’t cheat, but it was strange to hear one was vehemently against it. And I wasn’t sure if I’d always been so jaded, or just learned to expect disappointment.
My head nodded slowly, agreeing with him even before I spoke. “You’re right. There’s no other reason to cheat.”
“Fine, so I’m stupid and I cheat.” He shrugged with a laugh. “In that case, you should definitely dump my ass, you deserve better.”
God, he was so easy to talk to, effortless to be around, and I was just starting to see it now. I might never have seen this side of him, able to get a peek purely because of our arrangement.
“Heyyyyy, there you are.” Katrina came around the corner, juggling a couple of drinks while a dejected Matt followed close behind. “Hope you got business taken care of, I want to let loose and dance.” She looked at Dave with hope.
Clearly Matt’s attempts had either not gone to plan or were shot down by Katrina, her interest in Dave still being at an all-time high.
He gave her a warm smile. “Yep, all done. But I’m not the dancing type, it brings back bad memories from junior prom.”
I bit my lip trying not to laugh.
It was Katrina’s turn to look dejected, handing him a beer while her mood visibly deflated. “Oh, well, that’s too bad.”
“I’ll dance with you, Katrina.” Matt smiled, and God bless the man because he wasn’t out for the count just yet. “Come on, no point standing here when we could be out there making everyone jealous.” He offloaded the beer he’d obviously gotten for me before yanking gently on her arm.
Her cheeks pinked, liking the attention even if it wasn’t from the man she wanted. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go.” She took a sip from her drink and let him lead her away.
“May the odds be ever in his favor,” I whispered to Dave as they disappeared. “He’s really fighting the good fight.”
“He sure is.” Dave laughed. “You want to get out of here? I can tell you all about what happened at my junior prom and we can get a decent beer.” He held up his Budweiser with disgust. “I think I’d rather drink the pool water than this shit.”
I hesitated, tempted to say yes and it had nothing to do with the beer or hearing about his past. But I also knew that if I left with him, Katrina would be devastated, and I didn’t want to do that to my friend either.
“As much as I’d love to, I can’t.” Every single ounce of disappointment I felt was real as I turned him down. “We should probably play it cool until we have to go away. I don’t want there to be any unforeseen complications if we’re seen together too much.”
“Whatever you want, boss.” He gave me a slow smile before he looked around. “But I’m serious about getting out of here. Send me an email with dates and anything else I need to know. I’ll be ready to mobilize whenever you are.”
My arms closed around him in a hug that surprised both of us. “Thanks, I will. No drinking this time, I promise.”
“Jess,” he laughed, the gentle vibrations felt against my cheek as I pressed it to his chest. “I think the email was more fun when you did, don’t stop on my account. This time, I won’t turn down the phone sex.”
“What?” I pulled away from him in a rush.
He winked, his smile getting wider. “You heard me. You aren’t the only one who’s been telling lies.”
It was like a bomb had gone off, my heart beating so fast I could hear it ringing in my ears even above the music.
“You can’t just leave after telling me that.” I grabbed his arm, holding it hostage so he wouldn’t be able to leave. “You need to tell me everything.”
He looked over the crowd who were oblivious to us and smirked. “Some other time, when we’re alone. Email me the details, and say goodbye to Katrina and the rest of your friends.”
And with the protest still lodged in my throat, he left just as he said he was going to. The crowd swallowed him up, his tall sexy figure disappearing into a sea of people I barely knew or liked.
Previously I had begged time to stand still so I wouldn’t have to deal with going home, dreading attending the wedding. But now, I was dying to go.
And it had nothing to do with seeing my cousin get married.
It took Katrina at least an hour to get over the disappointment of Dave leaving us at the party. She had really hoped to wow him, and was flummoxed as to why he hadn’t fallen victim to her charms. But for all the interest Dave hadn’t shown, Matt had, cushioning the blow and salvaging her night.
Liz had disappeared, taking her date with her. Not surprising, I’d become the third wheel as I’d predicted, which kind of sucked. That it was Matt
instead of Dave with Katrina had made it at least tolerable.
And with his assurances that he would see Katrina safely home, I took the car service and left them to a budding office romance. Well at least tonight hadn’t been a total loss.
Calling Dave the minute I was safely back in my apartment was almost impossible to resist. I had picked up the phone at least a million times before I locked it in the bottom drawer of my nightstand to ensure I didn’t get up to any late-night shenanigans.
It was too much to expect I would resist in a sleepy haze, obviously that hadn’t worked out for me the last time. And while I was sober, unlike the last occasion, I wondered if my curiosity wouldn’t overpower my sense of responsibility. Let’s face it, it wasn’t just curiosity that was in the mix, he was gorgeous and funny, and there were parts of me that wouldn’t mind getting very acquainted with the man who was to play the lead in my fake love saga.
He was not a prostitute, I reminded myself, trying to stop any further dirty thoughts and/or actions my brain was so willing to conjure up.
And by some miracle, and after some very serious tossing and turning, I was able to float into a sexually frustrated sleep that spawned dreams so bizarre I had to remind myself I hadn’t been drunk.
You cannot sleep with him.
It became my daily mantra.
LIZ MESSAGED THE NEXT DAY with news that Joe had been fun but she wasn’t looking for a repeat. It wasn’t shocking by any means, with Liz going through love interests the way most of us went through underwear.
Katrina, on the other hand, couldn’t stop talking about her newfound appreciation for Matt. That he worked with us was a bonus, asking me if I was cool with her spending a few lunchtimes with him. And of course I was fine with it, happy her attention was diverted from my fake boyfriend, and Matt was finally getting his girl. In a Hallmark movie, he’d send her love notes through the interoffice messenger, and I would be credited at their wedding for bringing them together.
Meanwhile, in my own Hallmark movie, I was a little perplexed about the feelings I was having for Dave. While it was perfectly normal to find the man irresistible, stirring up sexiness that made my whole body tingle—I was positive there were enough women affected to warrant a support hotline—but what I should be feeling was gratitude. Friendship. Shit like that. Getting all hot and bothered was not helpful or conducive, especially when on his side of the script, all he probably felt was platonic.
So, like most of the problems I’d been dealing with recently, I pushed it aside and lived in denial until one evening when my buzzer rang.
If those goddamn hippies from the next apartment had locked themselves out again, I was going to cuss their butter churning, crunchy granola asses into next week. How hard is it to remember your keys? Who said smoking weed didn’t screw with your brain.
“Yeah,” I spat into the intercom, ready to hear Nadia giggling into the speaker about needing to knit her vagina or something.
“Bad night?” His voice tingled up my spine like a haunting Georgian chant.
My heartbeat doubled its speed as I stared at the box on the wall. I hadn’t been expecting company, sitting around in a pair of sleep shorts and tank top I’d thrown on hours ago.
“Dave?” I asked, wondering if I wasn’t having one of those vivid dreams I’d had the last few nights. He’d come to my door, tell me how much he wanted to make my fantasies come true and we’d have dirty, passionate sex. What? I’d decided I was more an HBO kind of girl and not Hallmark after all.
“The one and only. Can I come up?”
I looked down at my lack of clothes, my boobs coming to full attention against the soft fabric of my tank top. I was definitely going to have to change before he made it to my front door. “Sure, let me buzz you in.”
As soon as I hit the release lock on the outer gate, I sprinted to my bedroom and put on a bra, pulled on a dress and twisted my hair into a ponytail. There wasn’t enough time to put on makeup—my earlier “face” now sitting on a bunch of wet wipes in the bottom of my wastepaper basket. But I splashed some water over my skin, sprayed on some deodorant and tossed in a breath mint for good measure. By the time I answered the door, I was trying to not gag on the mint I had accidentally sucked down my throat while gasping for air.
I’d probably have looked less of a hot mess if I’d just let him see my enthusiastic nipples.
“Are you ok?” He walked in, giving me a hard tap between my shoulder blades, prompting the breath mint to shoot out of my mouth and into the hall. Well at least it had been in there long enough to make it minty fresh, my breaths coming out more easily as I was no longer asphyxiating on candy.
“Yes,” I coughed out. “All good.”
His raised eyebrow hinted he wasn’t convinced, closing the door behind us as he watched me clear my throat a couple of times.
“So . . . what brings you here?” I regained some composure and was able to talk without spluttering in his face.
I gestured for him to follow me into my living room, watching him sit on the sofa before I lowered myself into my armchair. I couldn’t decide how I liked him better, casual in jeans like he was now, or in dress pants and a button down.
Naked, my subconscious whispered, because thinking it was bad enough but saying it out loud was off the table. I’d never seen him sans clothes but didn’t need to test the theory to be one hundred percent sure that would have been my preference.
“Well, we can’t be seen together, but we need to practice.” He was completely oblivious to my indecent thoughts as he sat there smiling. “And I figured since I shared a house with Nick, it made more sense to come to you.”
“Yes, of course. Practice. Makes sense.” I rattled off half sentences as I wondered how he’d worked out which apartment I lived in. Sure, it wasn’t hard to remember my address when the car service had picked me up, but there were fourteen apartments in our complex. Had he gotten lucky?
“How did you know what apartment I lived in?” I asked, not bothering to try and finesse out an answer.
He laughed, leaning forward in his chair as he looked me in the eyes. “Are you worried I’m stalking you? Relax, you wrote it in your detailed list. Along with every other place you’ve lived and a phone tree of your emergency contacts. I haven’t committed them to memory just yet so I hope there’s no pop quiz tonight.”
Of course, I had given it to him. Were there any details I’d left for him to discover all by himself? There was probably no need for him to sleep with me; I’d given him the highlight reel in my notes.
“Okay, new rule. I don’t want to speak of that horrible email again.” I swished my hand through the air hoping he’d heed my new decree.
“Not ever?” He pulled his lips into a pout. “But I wanted to hear more about your chocolate ménage fantasy with characters from The History Channel.”
I sighed, still cursing the Shiraz and my stupidity. “I’ll never tell.”
“Fine. I won’t bring it up.” He mimicked me with a flick of his wrist. “So tell me why you don’t have a boyfriend?”
My eyes narrowed, wondering if he was testing me. “That information was contained in the body of work we are no longer discussing.”
“Actually it wasn’t.” He shook his head, and for once he wasn’t laughing or joking. “You said you moved to L.A. and getting into anything long term wasn’t a priority, that doesn’t answer the question about a boyfriend.”
“Can’t we talk about my favorite sexual position?” I offered, thinking it was easier to discuss that than something as personal as why I wasn’t currently dating.
“Jess, be honest with me. I just want to understand, and I swear there is no judgment here.” His eyes were so sincere that it was hard not to drop every defense I had and lay myself bare. I still didn’t understand the whys, but trusting him just felt right.
Maybe it was because he was a genuinely nice guy, or maybe it had been his willingness to help me. Or maybe, it was because there wer
e some people who were just naturally more trustworthy than others.
Inherently good, better than the rest of us.
I was still wondering which category he fell into, and feeling blessed I’d stumbled on such a decent and kind man to play house with when he took my silence as hesitation.
“Look, I’ll even start. My last girlfriend was six months ago. We just didn’t click and I was dating her out of habit. So rather than spend time committed to women I know I have no future with and then go through some bullshit breakup, I don’t bother. I see women casually and date when the mood takes me.”
I wished I’d been startled by his candor, but his honesty was something that rang true for me as well.
“I haven’t found anyone I want to spend the night with.” I found myself telling him stuff I hadn’t even admitted to Katrina or Liz. “Not sex obviously, but spend a night with, so he’s there the next morning. I’ve tried, but I inevitably find some stupid fault. Like I’m looking for an excuse. I’ve worried that I’m too picky, or jaded or even just destined to be alone. And being alone doesn’t scare me half as much as being married to the wrong guy.”
He nodded like he was agreeing. “I’m glad you don’t settle. And you shouldn’t, none of us should. So what is it about me that made you change your mind?”
My eyes widened so much I thought for sure they were going to drop out of my head.
“My character.” He laughed, “I assume your family knows you well enough that you’re not just going to pick up any dude and drag him home. So, we need some kind of hook for me.”
His commitment to the role was both commendable and terrifying.
He was different. Not just in his ability to play the part, but he was one of the few guys I could see myself having a friendship with and wanting to sleep with. It was usually one or the other. And if there happened to be a man who straddled the line, then without a doubt, I’d get bored.
