by Bry Ann
She practically purrs. “Mmm-kay.”
Ring! Ring!
Jesus, I’m not picking up for a reason! Stop calling me.
“Get it, Nix. It could be important.”
“It’s not,” I bark, storming over to the phone.
“What the fuck do you want, Rod?”
“Aaron’s been arrested.”
Everything in me spins. I have to smack my hand down on Jenna’s desk to keep from passing out.
“What?” I whisper.
“You need to get over there. Now.”
Am I free?
Really free?
“Alright, where do I go?”
He spouts off an address I’m barely coherent enough to remember.
“Have you been by to see your mother?”
“My mother?” I try to ask, breathing and squeezing my eyes shut to stay present.
“She had a seizure yesterday. Was rushed to the hospital. I thought you knew. Where the fuck were you?”
Uh, with my fuck buddy? I glance at Jenna, who has her eyes furrowed with concern. I feel dizzy, like I’m gonna vomit and pass out at the same time, so I know I must look a mess.
“Not with her. No one called me.”
“Well, that’s not really significant. Aaron wants you with him.”
And for once, our desires align, because Aaron in handcuffs? This is a sight I have to see.
It’s a whole shebang to get some time with Aaron, but being his biological son and with all the connections I have, I manage to get ten minutes with him. And let me tell you, walking in, seeing him in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs is the first time in my life I remember feeling true happiness. It makes every fucking fist, mind game, lesson, well of shame he and Martina have inflicted on me completely worth it.
I smirk as I push the door open.
“Well, well, well, here’s a sight I never thought I’d see.”
Aaron’s cold, grey-ish eyes bore into me. “Sit, Nixon.”
“I think I’d prefer to stand.”
I’m gonna rebel in any way I can. This is amazing. AMAZING.
“Nixon,” the smirk he sends my way makes my stomach plummet. “Sit.”
I’m frozen. I don’t move a single muscle. Not out of rebellion this time. Out of dread.
“I didn’t take you for an idiot, Nixon. Of all the things I know you’re not, smart has never been on that list.”
I narrow my eyes, but slowly sit, not breaking eye contact.
“Give me one good reason why I should listen to a damn thing you say now, Aaron.”
He leans back and smirks. “Ah, son, you disappoint me.”
I could give all of one fuck.
“Did you see your mother yet?”
My heart jumps a second. I may not love her, she may have hurt me mercilessly growing up, but she’s still my mom. She still raised me. Well, kept me breathing so Aaron could train me.
But still, I can’t stop from caring somewhat.
“No. I didn’t know she was in the hospital ‘til Rod called this morning.”
“Ahh,” he grins and taps his chin. “With Jenna, huh?”
I freeze. “Who’s Jenna?”
Please let this work.
Aaron leans forward and smirks.
“Come on, that bitch you like to fuck.”
I close my eyes and fight for control.
“What are you trying to say?”
“Do you know how big my empire is, Nixon?”
I don’t respond. I won’t sound stupid in front of him.
“I’ll take that as a no. I think you’ll find your mother at peace now, Jenna terrified of you, and Rose very upset. Of course, I had no hand in any of that. I’ve been here.”
He looks like the devil himself as he smirks down at me. The world around me tilts on its axis. No. Please. I push myself to stand.
“Fuck you!”
He rolls his eyes. “Control yourself, Nixon. I have a network of about 300 employees all over the area who need your guidance. Of course, as second in command. Rod will be your boss.”
I growl.
“Should you need keeping in line, that is. He’s aware of all your affairs.”
The string he wrapped around my heart the day I was born tightens.
“Should you disobey me, Nix, well… you’ll see when you leave here. I know how to play. Now, I think you should head out. I think you’ll find you’ve missed some calls. Don’t worry, we’ll be in touch, my boy.”
I can’t say another word. I storm out of the room with rage festering inside me.
I’m immediately met with several missed calls.
Like Aaron said.
The hospital.
Mom’s dead. Passed away twenty minutes ago.
Like Aaron said.
Jenna ignores all my calls. I’m blocked.
Like Aaron said.
I can’t call my sister, but I’ll go check on her. From a distance.
But I’m willing to bet she’s a wreck.
Just. Like. Aaron. Said.
For the first time since I was a young boy, I run outside and cry.
It’s then I realize that I’ll really never be free. So why bother trying? I’ll become a hell of a criminal. Undefeatable, really. I’ll never wear handcuffs. But I’ll never get to be Nix either. But if that means I stop being disappointed, stop hurting people with my dumbass, useless hope, then I’m fine with that.
I’m Aaron’s son, his masterpiece, and it’s about damn time I accepted that.
Ironically, it’s on the day I’ve waited for my whole life that I do.
Nix: Age 19
Ring! Ring!
I glance down at my ringing cell phone.
Gerald.
Of fucking course.
After Aaron got arrested, he made Gerald the man in charge of giving me jobs. Of course. Because Gerald fucking hates me. I beat him to shit, scared my father would kill his daughter if I didn’t. Of course, Gerald doesn't know that. I can’t tell him. One, it’d make me look like a child and I’d be forever at risk. What keeps me alive being so young in this world is my reputation of being ruthless. No one has to know about the threats behind everything I do. Two, I was scared that if I told him the truth, Aaron would kill his daughter anyway because I made myself look weak.
So now I get jobs from a man who could give one fuck if I like the job or not. In fact, he probably takes pride in giving me jobs I hate.
“What does he want?” I snap into the speaker.
“He has a job for you.”
“No shit. Why else would you call me?”
He snickers. “Oh Nix, you’re gonna fucking hate this.”
“Fantastic,” I mutter dryly. ‘Cause I love all this so much.
“Your father has the instructions written out for you. He needs you to check up on an operation of his. Some guy, Z, runs the place. He thinks they’re stashing money. You need to infiltrate and get things in line. He’s making it quite clear that, Nixon, under no circumstance are you to interfere with anything they do over there. You’ll pay if you do.”
“Why would I do that?” I mutter.
“It’s not my job to understand the orders. Just to give ‘em.”
“Fine. We’ll meet at the warehouse so you can toss the instructions my way.”
Asshole. You wanna be a dick, I’ll be a dick. We can meet at the warehouse where I kicked your fucking ass.
So we do.
And I get instructions that seem straightforward on the surface.
Except once I get there, I find this job will be anything but clear cut.
It’s the type of job that wrecks a person if followed correctly.
Shatters them.
God, these guys are such pussies. I’m not even kidding. First of all, they live in some kind of underground dungeon. I don’t know what exactly they sell, I assume drugs, but come on. Why the creepy serial killer lair?
Second, they are complete cowards. They are terrified of m
e. I mean, they have every reason to be, but Jesus, hide it a little.
“Nix!” Marcus gasps. I roll my eyes. “We weren’t expecting you.”
There’s a tremor in his voice, which… come on. My lip twitches.
“I didn’t know I was required to announce myself,” I tease, spinning to the nearly empty room. “Nixon Marketta is here, everyone!”
The man scowls at me, which is the only thing about this job I’m enjoying so far.
I’m smirking when I hear footsteps round the corner. Instinctively, I glance around. What I see has my mouth falling open.
What?
Z is holding a clearly terrified, trembling young girl with clear, pale skin and unique, black-green hair. Her eyes flicker up to meet mine — deep, large, and green. She quickly assesses me. There’s no other word for it. That’s what she does. Assesses. Like one might do to a threat.
“Stop!” I command immediately.
Of course everyone does. I’d raise hell if they didn’t. Subtly, of course, but they know I’d crush them.
I stroll over to the girl. I need to know what’s going on here. The closer I get, the more she starts to tremble, nearly tumbling back into Z, who she clearly is afraid of.
“What’s your name?” I ask, feeling my jaw coil with tension.
She opens her mouth, but shuts it quickly when everyone’s eyes go to her. They think I don’t see them threatening her, but I do. I fucking do. I round on them.
“Who the hell is she?”
“One of the girls,” Marcus grunts.
“Girls?” I cock an eyebrow, feigning interest when, in reality, I feel sick.
“Hookers,” Z cuts in, narrowing his eyes my way. “Is that a problem?”
“Slaves, you mean?” I growl.
Z just grunts. “Tomato, tomato. Whatever you want to call them. Is that a problem? I’m sure Aaron will have no problem finding someone else to do the job.”
He did not just threaten me with my father. After years of being manipulated, I won’t tolerate it from anyone but Aaron.
“It’s my job.” I turn to the girl. “What’s your name?”
She has my full attention. I expect to see more heartbreaking fear from her, but nope. She takes a breath, gets a hold of her fear and lifts her chin in a “fuck you” motion.
“262.”
Her eyes flash with curse words she doesn’t say. I watch it happen as I fight the urge to let my lips twitch. It would be disgustingly inappropriate.
“Nixon, call me Nix,” I tell her, extending my hand.
Her jaw tightens, deepening the dark circles under her eyes.
“No thanks.”
Touché, princess. Way to go.
“Alrig—”
I’m cut off by the sound of a loud slap. Swack! I know the sound well. I know the feeling even more. I know it should never be done to a woman, let alone a young girl. My hand snakes out to catch the small girl from tumbling over before I can think of the consequences of that action. If Aaron catches wind that I give a care about this girl in any way, which Z would easily make happen, this girl is dead before I can say help.
I yank her up and let go of her delicate wrist immediately, feeling my jaw tick with the reality I’m seeing. Her chin ducks, expressing slight gratitude. She didn’t want to fall. Who the hell does? I want to nod. I want to tell her I’ll save her, and I will, but I have to hurt her first.
So I turn away and go back to discussing “business” with the other two assholes.
But I know I’m not done with her. It may take time, but when I see her subtly flip off her captors, I realize this is the first time in my life I don’t feel powerless when it comes to Aaron.
Because despite the sickness in my gut, and the guilt I feel for having to walk away right now, I won’t let him sell women.
I won’t.
Especially this girl. I mean, fuck, she’s not even a woman yet. She’s a kid. And I see pieces of myself in her.
When I leave, I take one last look at her. Her big green eyes beg me to save her. Her shiny hair seems to become more dull in an instant as I abandon her.
I so wish I could tell her she’s the first person I won’t abandon.
I just didn’t realize at the time that meant ending my father.
No, it’d take years for that realization to set in.
But it does.
With a vengeance.
Sage
Five years.
It’s amazing how much can change in five years.
It’s also amazing how little can change.
When I used to think five years out, it seemed so far, but reflecting back on these five years… well, it doesn’t seem so long. Until I think about the things that have changed.
Five years ago, I chose Nix no matter the cost. Best decision I’ve ever made. Watching Nix grow and change these past five years has been incredible. A miracle. Something I can’t put into words. I haven’t changed much, really. I’m still the slightly rebellious, pale, rarely-leave-the-house girl I was five years ago. Just maybe slightly more mature, slightly less naive. You’d think I would have changed more going from 18 to 23, but nope. Not really.
Nix, on the other hand, wow. He’s so different. He’s grown from hurt boy to man before my eyes. Every day growing more confident, more sexy, more ridiculously calm and levelheaded. He amazes me all the time. He’s the calm to my constant internal storm. It’s sometimes easy to forget the hurricane inside of him. I see it in his eyes every time he looks at me. It festers and swirls, spinning round and round: guilt, shame, hate, rage, helplessness, the need to do something to stop Aaron from hurting anyone else, particularly me. He may be in the eye of it now, he may have followed the eye of it his whole life, but one day it’s gonna come to pass and I’ll be here by his side when it does.
What I didn’t plan for was the boredom. How often Nix would be gone, doing who knows what. He sure doesn’t ever tell me. He kisses me lightly and tells me not to worry. I’m fine staying home most of the time. My mom and dad help me out. They bring me to their mansion to bask in their luxuries. They hire security if I ever want to go anywhere, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had a chance to go freely. If I had a chance to learn to be by myself and make friends. If I had a chance to go for a walk in the sunshine without worrying about being stolen off the street or shot. With Nix always gone and my parents still being who they are, I’m lonely. I’m really lonely, but I don’t talk about it. I’m okay. I have my books. I have Pamela. I have vegan cookbooks. Even though I hate to cook, I enjoy getting Nix to try new vegan foods. It brings me some kind of joy when he likes a vegan recipe over its omnivore alternative. I even started a vegan blog four years ago, and honestly, it’s been way more successful than I could have imagined. I feel less like a piece of crap, pulling my own weight financially. I make a full-time income doing just that. It’s cool. And… I never have to show my face. It’s all behind a screen.
I don’t like feeling like I’m hiding out though. I don’t like feeling stuck, which is exactly what me and Nix are right now.
Stuck.
“Dad?” I search the house to see if I can find him. I want to do something. Go somewhere. I just don’t want to be alone. He’s instructed Jerald and a full time security officer, Ronald, to be available should I need to go anywhere. But I can’t do anything alone right now. My mind's a mess and I really feel if I spend one more minute alone, I’ll drown. If Dad has time, maybe he’ll come with me. We’ve never been anywhere together. I’m still not close to Mom, but my heart has softened toward my dad. Five years of supporting my decisions, whether he agrees or not, has done that.
“Can I help you, miss?”
Ronald rounds the corner. I immediately stumble backward. Despite being hired as security, Ronald gives me the creeps. He makes the hair on my arms stand up.
“N-no, I-I’m fine. Thanks,” I squeak.
He steps forward. My heart starts to hammer. I glance around for som
eone else. Jerald?
“I’m here to help you, miss. What can I do?”
“I was just… uh, seeing if Dad was around. I wanted to know if he wanted to get lunch. That’s all. I’m go-good.”
“Oh, he’s out front with your mother. Want me to take you to see him?”
I hesitate. “N-no, I’ll—”
“Miss, let me help you.”
His soft brown eyes dig into me.
“Uh, okay…” I rub my arms. “I’ll just… follow you.”
He nods once and stands right next to me. I try to get away, but Ronald manages to stay within arm’s length the whole time. I don’t understand why I feel so unsafe in my dad’s house right now, but I feel awkwardly trapped as Ronald leads me to the front door.
“Sage?” Lucinda’s quiet voice rings out.
We both turn. I look at her, wide eyed.
“Everything okay?”
“Um...”
I look at Ronald. His face is neutral as ever. How do I ever expect to stop being stuck if I can’t even trust my security guard to lead me to the damn front yard of my own parents’ house?
“Everything’s good.” I force a smile. “Thank you.”
Lucinda doesn’t look convinced as I walk out the door with Ronald.
“Um, so where did you say they—”
My words are cut off when the familiar sting of a needle is jammed into my arm.
“Bitch almost screwed this up.”
“No,” I plead.
And it goes black.
Nix
“Your father wants to meet with you,” Rod barks.
“Well, I don’t want to meet with him.”
My foot taps rapidly. Tick. Tick. Tick. Sage made me promise to pick her up from her dad’s at a reasonable hour.
“You’ll want to listen to me, Nix.”
His voice has a tone to it that sets my teeth on edge. I move the phone to my other ear and sigh.
“God, what now?”
There’s some shuffling. Then…
“Nix, I’m sor—” Sage’s voice cries rapidly into the speaker. It’s jerked away before she can finish.
