by Bry Ann
I throw the back door open and immediately fall against it, sliding to my ass and letting my hands come over my face.
I’m home.
I’m finally home.
The mask can come off.
And I’m not okay.
I’m absolutely not okay.
And it’s only worse when I find the house empty. Sage must be with her dad. I grab my phone and scroll through all the texts I’ve been ignoring.
I sigh and force my body off the floor.
My fingers fumble over the digits on my phone until I find hers. I click it and pull the phone to my ear.
“Sage,” I whisper.
“Nix, it’s not Sage.”
This is the last voice I expected. The dead last. My shoulders fly back.
“Mrs. Briar-Rose?”
“Molly, please.”
“Alright, Molly. Where’s Sage?”
“Nix,” she starts to say something, then cuts herself off. “I think you should come over.”
“Where’s Sage, Molly?” I demand.
“You won’t intimidate me into telling you, Nixon!” she snaps lowly. “Come over.”
Click.
She’s fucking pleasant.
I snatch my keys and run out the door. As I’m doing so, my phone rings.
“Yes?” I answer desperately. I need to know what’s going on.
“Nix,” Gerald answers slyly, knowing I hate hearing from him. “Aaron has a job for you.”
“Go fuck yourself, Gerald!” I snap into the phone and slam it shut. My plan demands I am obedient to Aaron, but my plan can go to hell right now. They all can go to hell. Where the hell is Sage?
I break about fifty traffic laws on my way to the Briar-Rose mansion. When I get there, my heart kicks into overdrive when I see two police cars out front. I park haphazardly by their front door and sprint forward, shaking as I slide the key in the door.
“Charles!” I scream when I get inside.
I’m met with Molly. She’s standing there in at least four inch heels, a perfectly ironed, tan dress, and straight as a pin hair.
“Where’s Charles? Where’s Sage?”
I know the panic is written all over my face. The years of practice schooling my expression, acting smug and sure, fail me.
“You can talk to me. Charles is with Sage.”
“What happened, Molly?”
I’m losing it with this woman. I’m not here for a “women are just as capable as men” debate. I know this. I’m not proving it to her in this moment!
“Nix, you should sit.”
“What happened to Sage?!”
Fucking hell!
“She had a flashback.”
My stomach sinks.
“It was bad, Nix. She called the cops. When they arrived, she was in the closet, crying, telling them men were in her apartment, trying to hurt her. When she gave the descriptions of the men, two of them were an exact match for Z and Sty, two of the men who—”
“I know who they are,” I whisper.
“Yes, well, Sage came to and was able to confirm that the third man she was seeing was one of the men who she was forced to have sex with. No one knows what triggered it. Charles has connections at the police department, so they called him immediately. We picked her up and brought her here.”
“And no one called me?!”
Molly looks to the ground. “She begged us not to,” she whispers.
My heart shatters into a million tiny pieces.
“What?” I manage to get out after a long silence.
“Nix, if Charles has contacts at the police department, you don’t think your father has them, too? I mean, it did take him a long time to get arres—”
“Fuck!” I hiss, cutting her off and running a frantic hand through my hair. “Fuck, fuck!”
“Yeah, that’s why she didn’t want you called. She hates herself.”
“Where is she?” I ask softly.
“She’s in the meditation closet. I think she wanted the darkness.”
Meditation closet?
She must see my confusion, because she jumps in, “I’ll lead you there.”
She moves to lead me, then decides differently, opting to pause and turn to face me.
“Be careful with her, Nix. In all the years since she was taken, I’ve never seen her so upset. She’s scared. She’s angry at herself. She needs help, Nix.”
“I know, I know. I’m trying.”
Molly glares at me. I know. I get it! I pulled her from treatment. That was a terrible move. I should have made a different deal with Sage back then. I was young and put in a situation I didn’t understand. I had nobody to teach me how to handle it, emotionally.
I did my best, honestly.
“We’re here,” Molly says when she’s led me down the hall some. “I’m going to close things out with the officers.”
Her hand grazes the front of a formal white door clad with a gold handle. She looks at me for a long moment, sighs, and walks off. More like clicks off; her heels are so damn loud.
Already feeling my heart pound, I crack the door open.
Charles is on the floor next to Sage, who is curled up in a tiny ball, crammed into a corner.
He’s got a hand on her back and she’s sniffling. It’s tired sounding. Like they’ve been at this for a while. I should have asked Molly when this happened.
“Hey,” I murmur.
Charles looks up at me, pained, and Sage jumps back like a gun went off.
“No, please go.”
She throws her hands over her eyes and ears.
I crouch down onto my knees.
“I’m sorry, Sage. I’m so, so sorry.”
I jerk my head to the side, motioning for Charles to move. I take his spot next to her and immediately pull her into me. She fights me feebly, but when she realizes I’m not letting go, she collapses into my body and grips my t-shirt with one hand, clawing at it with so much pain that it eats at my breaking heart.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t know,” she cries. “I didn’t.”
“I know,” I soothe. “I know, brave girl. It’s okay.”
I look at Charles. He shakes his head and looks to the floor. His once-crisp white shirt is now stained with tears and snot.
He squeezes my shoulder and quietly walks out.
I don’t know what to say.
Sage crawls away and goes back to her ball.
“I’m not mad, Sage. Not one bit.”
She’s quiet.
“Sage,” I say, taking her hand, “I love you. Do you love me, too?”
She stiffens and then nods yes slowly against her arms.
“Then what in your crazy mind, woman, makes you think I’d be angry at you for this?”
Her body coils into itself.
“What makes you think I’d feel anything but heartbreak that you were hurting so bad, that you were so scared, and I wasn’t there for you?”
“Your home,” she sniffles, “your home. The one place…” She hiccups several times. “To be safe from Aaron… and I probably ruined it. The police came to our house ‘cause I ca-called and… and Aaron could hack-hack the ad-address, maybe.”
Her hands fist as she lets out a whimper-sobbing sound.
I uncoil her fists, feeling how truly wound up she is.
I want to massage all her tense muscles and take on everything for her. I wish I could, but half of this is her battle to fight.
And I can’t take that from her.
“I’ll handle it, Sage,” I murmur. “Don’t worry. Worst comes to worst, remember that safe house I told you about? We can go there, but I don’t think it will come to that. Like I said…” I take her hand and run my thumb over the soft skin of her wrist. “I’ll handle it.”
“No, you can’t! It’s Aaron. He’ll find us. He’ll find me. He’ll use me to hurt you. Rose… and…”
She stops herself, but not before it clicks. My jaw falls open slightly.
Of course.
“You were scared. With Rose alive, you’re scared he’s gonna come for you again?” I ask her.
“I’m scared he’s gonna kill me and break your heart.”
Her lower lip wobbles violently as she looks up at me with terrified green eyes.
“Sage…” I sigh, grabbing her ankles and pulling her forward ‘til we’re toe to toe. “I’ll stop going away so much. I’ll protect you. I swear. Don’t worry about me. I just want you happy again.”
“What are we gonna do, Nix?”
I don’t know…
“What happened, Sage?”
Sage grabs my hand and runs her thumb over one of the scars on my knuckles, mindlessly staring at it.
“They were there. Nix, it looked so real. I saw Sty and Z. They were there. It was like the basement. They were gonna hold me down. I saw the money transfer and the strange man. It was all so real.”
She still looks confused that it wasn’t real. Like she can’t wrap her mind around the fact that the men were all figments of her imagination.
“But this time I could get to a phone! I didn’t have a phone near me in hell. Ever. I had to try and use it! I didn’t realize… I didn’t know… where I was. I was right there.”
“In the basement?”
Her skin pales, like alarmingly so. All the blood drains from her face and I recognize the telltale signs of her beginning to hyperventilate.
“Sage, breathe!” I grab her shoulders. “Sage!”
She sucks in a tiny breath. Her eyes dart around the room somewhat frantically.
“Sage! It’s me, Nix. Sage!”
My words go on deaf ears. Her eyes roll back in her head. My arms fly forward, luckily catching her before her head slams against the wall. I slip my arms under her and carry her out of the closet, tucked into my chest. Her skin is clammy and pale. She’s completely limp in my arms. I place my finger over her mouth, feeling her soft breath flutter against my skin. She really fainted. What the hell happened in that basement?
My heart burns fire while my eyes pulse with unshed tears.
When I said she’s told me nothing about her time in hell, I meant it. Unless I was there, I don’t know. No one does. But if she’s talking about a basement, a tiny closet is not the place for her to be.
“Sir?” Lucinda, Sage’s maid, squeaks from behind me. I only turn because Sage loves her so much. All I want right now is to get Sage to her room.
I do turn, but I slightly block Sage’s face from view as I do so.
“Oh, darling!” she cries.
“I need to get her to her room,” I murmur in a low tone. “Can you tell me where that is?”
“Sí, yes, of course,” she says, a little flustered, not taking her eyes off Sage.
“Thank you.”
She turns and leads me up some stairs. Right, this is where it is. I never really come in here. The house is so damn big, and the only places I ever go are the entryway and Charles’s office. I take a look around the very feminine room, noticing how it distinctly lacks Sage’s personality.
“Thank you, Lucinda,” I tell her with a gentle smile, knowing it would be important to Sage that I do that.
“Sir, please take care of her,” Lucinda begs. “She’s such a good girl. The world is not fair.”
“I will. You have my word.”
She nods and leaves, but I know I see a tear escape before she does. I gently place Sage down on the bed and run my thumb between the etch in her eyebrows.
“I’ll be back, brave girl,” I murmur.
I scribble a note using her purple floral stationary, telling her I’m downstairs and I’ll be right back up in case she wakes up.
Then I charge down the stairs. One police officer is gone, and the other is with Molly. I start to head over, but Charles places a hand on my chest, stopping me.
“Let Molly handle it. She’s great at this shit.”
I glance over and nod. She does seem to be handling it, so I turn to Charles.
“Charles, I hate to ask. You know I’d never, but,” I hate this. I fucking hate it, “do you know anything about a basement?”
He shoots back, eyes widening.
“Basement?” he gasps.
That’s a no. Of course not. I was just desperate.
“Never mind.”
“Never mind,” he scoffs. Not angry, more like he’s trying not to cry. “Nix, this is bad.”
“It’s bad,” I confirm, resisting the urge to push my fingers against my eyes.
“Nix, you can’t take her back to your house until you know for sure that Aaron doesn’t have access to that call. File now, I suppose.”
“I know.”
“I mean it. Nix, she can’t handle much else. She’ll turn out like Essie.”
“You still lookin’ out for her?”
“Yes,” Charles says with a chin lift. “There’s also a special agent assigned to her case. Some kid named Landon. It’s not going well, but I am getting her the best care possible.”
I sigh. “She deserves it. I…”
I shake my head and flash back to the first time I met each of the three girls. God, I wish I could have a do over. I’d do things so differently.
“I know. It’s tragic. Back to my daughter.”
Well, alright then…
“What’s your plan?”
“I’m thinking on it.”
My phone rings, making my brain spin violently, to the point where I feel I may actually pass out, too, which has never happened to me before. Never.
But between Rose. And Sage. And new trouble with Aaron. And my plan. And my guilt. I’m fucking drowning.
“Nix? Nix? Where’s Sage? Hey, son!”
Charles snaps in my face.
“I need to sit,” I breathe.
“Okay,” Charles says hurriedly, grabbing me by the shoulder and leading me to an armchair, where I immediately plop down and grab my head.
“Nix, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry. I just found out Rose is alive. That’s where I was. I wasn’t with Sage… fuck. Sage will have to stay here for a bit. A while. Until I can figure this out.”
“Nix, what’s going on with you?”
I feel everything in me harden. “Aaron’s a problem,” I hedge.
Charles studies my darkened eyes.
“However long you need Sage to stay, she has a home here. But Nix, don’t make even a sliver of my mistake. I get you have shit with your dad; big, epic, life-changing shit, but Sage is going to struggle with this breakdown. She’s going to struggle with living here. I can’t make that better for her. Only you can.”
“I know, I know. I will. I’ll handle it.”
“Kid, you’re juggling a lot of plates.”
I shrug, but I actually feel anything but casual. “Trained to do it.”
Charles stares at me so intensely even I start to squirm.
“What do you need from me?”
“I’ll let you know.”
“But you do have a plan?”
I sigh. “Yes. This is a kink in it, but I’ll figure it out.”
“So your sister…”
“Yeah,” I sigh again, taking a deep breath, “she’s alive.”
“How’s that?”
“Good. Good, I mean she’s my sister.”
Charles smiles at me knowingly. “Son, it’s okay to be confused.”
“I’m just trying to take all this in.”
He nods. “Where did you say Sage was?”
I hesitate. “Sleeping.”
He knows I’m omitting facts, but respects Sage’s privacy.
“Where do you plan on living?”
I wince. “I don’t… I can’t leave Sage… I…”
Charles smirks. “Welcome to our home, son.”
“Fuck.”
He chuckles.
But for real… fuck.
“I’m going back up with Sage.”
There’s a look in his
eye as I walk away. Charles may not be a great man, but I know, without a doubt, I have his undying loyalty from here on out.
It feels good to have a father figure who won’t, you know, try to kill everyone I love.
Sage
When I woke back up, everything was hazy. Everything except for the heavy arm wrapped around my waist. Trying to calm my thundering heart, I look over to see Nix there with a muscular arm thrown across my body.
Snoring.
Nix.
It’s about the only thing in the world that could momentarily calm the emotional torment going on inside me.
My tired boy.
I gently brush back a strand of his hair. He’s out cold. His large body is completely melted into the bed. His face is tight, but all his muscles are loose. I gently trace some of the scars on his arm, then up to his face.
His quiet breath calms me. I’ve ruined all his careful planning.
Again.
I want to fix it. I desperately want to fix it. It’s taking everything in me not to offer my body as some sort of payment for the trouble I’ve caused.
But Nix would never accept that.
He’d pull me away and hold me and ask me what’s going on.
How is he so good? How is he so tender when he was raised by such a monster?
How does he not see it?
I place my hand over his heart.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Just like mine.
His muscles are new and unfamiliar to me. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy as ripped as Nix is getting. I don’t like it. I can only think of the reasons why he’s doing it. I can only think of him in the gym, doing something he hates because his father is leaving him no other choice.
Again.
I’m not doing a very good job of helping him love the man he sees in the mirror. I promised I’d help him do that, and I’m failing. He hates himself just as much, if not more, than when he first met me. I gently cup his face. I just love him so much.
