He thought about trying to come up through the middle, but knew that wouldn't work, his shoulders were too big. He knew the tube was too buoyant to be pulled under and get in that way. And with Phoebe looking at him going over to the ledge and getting in was utterly out of the question. He was left with considering pulling up for a quick front or back entry. But regardless of whether he faced her or not, each option had problems. He knew he couldn't just hang in the water all the way down to the Falls, as there were shallow spots ahead where he'd hit rocks for sure. And Phoebe definitely wasn't helping with the problem at all. She was keeping right by, never taking her eyes off of him for a second.
"You're going to have to get in sometime,” she said casually. “Why don't you do us both a favor and just go over and stand up on the ledge and get in?"
"You remind me of my step mother,” he fired back.
Phoebe pressed a finger to her chest. “Me? Why's that?"
"Sometimes she gets that same look.” He pointed up at her. “See! Just like that."
"Well, I'm ready for a little day sportin',” Phoebe came back. She'd long ago given up on trying to look sympathetic and was just letting her grin go. “I know, why don't you climb up on the ledge and show me another one of those dives?"
"Aw, damn!” he shouted out, looking up to the sky. Then to Phoebe's obvious delight he bounced up, using his arms as powerfully as he could. But he used too much strength and almost missed the center hole entirely as he twisted around, ending up having to flail about with his legs to keep from falling over before finally settling in.
Phoebe hadn't missed a second of it. She put two fingers of one hand to her lips and proudly gave him her best wolf whistle. Then she finished off her approval with an appreciative clapping ovation.
"Cut it out,” Lee complained. “It's not funny."
Phoebe wasted no time in paddling right up, making no bones about her pleasure with the whole situation, nor her eagerness to take advantage of it. “Not funny you say? I guess that all depends on your point of view.” She brazenly leaned forward. “And right about now, I like my point of view just fine."
For some reason, Lee was struck by the remembrance of what Phoebe had told him about her adventures out night sportin'. About how she felt so ultra naked. Right now he knew exactly what she'd meant. She'd said at first she'd noticed how her feet felt as she walked out on the driveway. But for him, it wasn't his feet; it was his butt, which felt so exposed. The exposed feeling was overwhelming even though his butt was down in the water. And too, possibly the self-conscious effect was being aggravated by the fact that Phoebe just wouldn't go away. She kept right by him. Too, he was limited in his ability to fend her off, only able to use his feet to try to fend her off, as he had to keep his hands between his legs. And making it all even worse, the thing was he knew he couldn't stay like this; he'd have to paddle sometime.
Lee looked back at her miserably. “Why don't you give me a break?"
She batted her eyes and bit her lip again, then said coyly, “But I want to see. When you got in it was almost too quick. I only got a flash. You were kicking and wiggling around too much.” She grinned her evil grin and clapped, holding her hands pressed demurely together at the center of her chest. “Do it again. Once more. Come on. For me? Pretty pleeeease!” She cocked her head. “You know I've been naked outside before, too."
"Yeah,” Lee fired back. “It's one thing to go running around at night with some other girl. But I'm out here in broad daylight in the middle of nowhere. How am I going to get home? You don't have a clue how this feels. How would you like to be really naked out somewhere?"
"Pooh,” she said, finally pushing off. “You're just being a gloomy Gus. You're going to have to get out some time, and I'll be waiting ... and watching."
For a moment he felt a flash of relief. Maybe she had decided she was going to keep her distance, but after a few minutes she was right back. She even began to tickle him again, going for his ribs or his feet, and splashing, doing anything to get him to move around.
"Can't you leave me be?” he protested after one particularly lengthy bout. “I know with me sitting like this you really can't see anything, so why not just give me a break?"
"Not see anything!” she came back. “Are you kidding? I've got a naked boy all to my self, and you expect me to just leave you alone? Hah! That ain't gonna happen, buster. Just ‘cause I can't see everything, don't mean I don't like what I do see.” Her copy of Maggie's cat-that-ate-the-canary grin was every bit nearly as exasperating as when Maggie did it. But with Phoebe there was a certain playful quality to it, which revealed a softer side; she wasn't being mean, she was just having fun.
Phoebe latched on to his tube and bounced down on the side forcing him to release his hands and grab the sides to balance. “There!” she said. “All I got to do is hang around and mess with you and I'll get what I'm after.” Then she really gave him the sly eye and said, “Who knows, I might decide to play alligator a little myself."
Lee was struck by the thought of the irony of his situation. He really liked reading Greek mythology. Odysseus, Theseus, Perseus, Hercules, those stories were great. But besides all the monsters and adventures, there were always morals and lessons to be learned. The gods were always making people pay for things whether they had done anything or not. It hit him that maybe some Olympian god had been watching while he and Art were peeping into the dressing room yesterday. And now this embarrassing situation, being naked and at Phoebe's mercy, this was to be his divine punishment.
They floated along like this for quite a while. Lee thinking desperately about what he was going to do when they got to the take out, and Phoebe always staying right by, chattering ceaselessly, occasionally splashing and twirling around, but never leaving him alone, and never drifting too far off, especially when they had to paddle to avoid rocks or snags.
After a long period of trying to present an unhappy front while fending off Phoebe's attacks, Lee realized he was losing the battle. The river's water against his naked bottom was a constantly nagging reminder of his awkward position. But, now that the initial panic had well worn off, it began to dawn on Lee that it was more than a little titillating too. After all, here he was floating along butt-naked, and all alone with a girl who wasn't upset about his condition at all.
The high cliffs to either side were giving way, and through here the bank was only a few feet above the river level. It really was pretty through here, everything was so green, and the trees hung right out over the slow moving water. Looking over at a big log, trapped by two rocks near the bank, he noticed all the types of turtles sunning themselves. There were red ears and soft shells. Suddenly he remembered the great, black snapper the Willis boys had in their backyard. The rubber squeaking loudly against his bare skin, he squirmed about trying to tuck himself up so that nothing dared dangle down. Luckily, the cool water had already done quite a good job of shrinking the hazards of his natural exposure.
"Are you okay?” Phoebe, who was stretched out, sunning less than a foot to the side and just behind, eagerly looked over, attracted by the noise.
Lee shook his head. “Just fine."
Phoebe reached out and grabbed onto Lee's shoulders, pulling herself in from behind. “How far are we from the Falls?"
"Not too far,” he replied. He'd realized that she wasn't going to let him be and had decided to just give up trying to hide himself and let her have her way. Besides, he desperately needed to resettle in the tube as a crease in the rubber was rubbing the skin of his lower back. With her behind him it was just the opportunity to push up and get resituated. Still, knowing she was watching, he tried to do it as quickly as he could. But pushing up with his arms, it felt good to move after sitting bound in one position for so long.
"Full moon in the broad daylight,” she teased from behind. After a moment she added, “How far is not too far?"
Lee settled back, surprised to have his back come to rest against Phoebe as she wrapped her
arms around his neck and shoulders. “Around a mile, maybe a little more."
"Come on, grumpy,” she cajoled putting her chin on his shoulder, extending her arms out, and wrapping her fingers together. “Perk up. We'll find you something to wear. I remember seeing a piece of burlap caught in a branch below the Chutes. For sure we'll find something like that. You'd look like Tarzan."
She leaned further over, surely looking down and whispered in his ear, “You can't really see anything like this anyway. If I didn't already know you were butt naked, I couldn't tell a thing.” She gave him that evil grin. “Except when I mess with you."
For some reason this didn't really make him feel any better. Noticing his mouth had gone dry he said, “We should have brought a canteen or something."
"I'm not a bit thirsty,” Phoebe replied. Then whispered in his ear, “Quit worrying."
"Yeah, that's easy for you to say,” he came back. “But what am I supposed to do? Wear the tube home?"
She let go of him and leaned back in her tube, crossed her arms and kicked up some water with her toes. “You're no fun."
Seeing her with her arms crossed and her pouty look, his grin came back. “Okay, I tell you what. To be fair then you should take you swimsuit off, too. Then we'll be on even ground. Remember, you yourself said it wasn't fair for you to go night sportin’ if Raelene wouldn't do it too. Remember?"
She looked like she was considering it, but then said: “And end up losing mine too? No thanks."
"No,” he came back, trying to think ahead. “You could put it in the bag."
Lee sat up and yelled out, “The bag!"
CHAPTER TEN: STICKER'S REVENGE
Immediately Lee was fishing down between his legs. “I can wear your shorts!"
"Where's the bag?” he cried out in a panic as his hands frantically dove around he inside of the tube. “Where'd the bag go?"
Phoebe reached down between her legs and pulled up the mesh bag, dripping, out of the center of her tube.
She smiled deviously. “I guess we somehow ended up in each other's tubes?"
Lee reached out, giving her a scowl. “Why didn't you remind me?"
She glared back at him innocently, “You just now reminded me."
He wiggled his hand. “Just give it here."
She slipped the string off of the tube's valve and handed it over. “I don't think my shorts will fit you."
"They'll have to.” He opened the drawstring. “I don't have any other choice."
Yes, everything was still there.
With determination, Lee began to paddle toward the bank.
Phoebe had to cover her eyes from the glare of the sun, which was no longer straight up overhead. “Where are you going?"
He kept paddling. “I'm gonna go put your shorts on."
She sounded very disappointed. “Come on, don't. You'll ruin all the fun."
"What's the difference,” he shot back. “You said you couldn't see anything anyway."
"I could just a minute ago,” she laughed.
Lee kept paddling. When he judged he had a safe distance between him and Phoebe he leaned over sideways quickly falling out of the tube. Down in the water, he felt down with his feet, but touched nothing but the cooler chill from the deeper current down below. He let go of the tube and went under while he worked his feet into the shorts and finally somehow got them up his legs. They felt constricting in all the wrong places, but surprisingly enough they weren't all too terribly tight in the waist. Kicking again powerfully as he needed air, he grabbed the side of the tube and launched himself out of the water, this time coming down with his butt in the center of the tube.
Phoebe put her fingers to her lips and whistled. “Whoo, boy, Mr. Alligator! You do look sexy in them shorts. But I guess it's too bad I didn't wear me a skirt today.” She beamed at him. “You'd look good in a skirt."
Lee ignored this, coming back with, “Well at least they fit, sort of."
"Yeah? You should see yourself. Pretty funny looking fit if you ask me. And that reminds me; when will you be giving ‘em back?” She was trying to sound suspicious. “Or will I have to come hunt you down and claim ‘em?"
"You can come and get ‘em anytime.” He grinned brazenly, then gave her a shot, splashing water at her from both hands at once.
She retaliated, using both hands and her feet.
An intense battle ensued, their biggest of the day.
It was Lee who broke it off first, retreating at full speed down river, splashing water back at Phoebe as he turned his hands into paddle wheels.
Phoebe turned around as well, paddling as strongly as she could, making a race of it.
Lee slowed, though he didn't show it. He let her catch up, then even pass him by. The grin on her face, at least to him, as she pulled ahead was worth more than crossing any finish line first.
"Hey, y'all!” Someone called from behind. “Hey! Lee!"
Lee spun his tube around, giving up the race. Ronnie was standing on the bank about twenty yards downstream just above the Falls.
Phoebe held up her arms crying out: “I win! I win!"
Seeing Lee looking over her shoulder, she turned about and gazed up at Ronnie then back at Lee.
"Hey, Ronnie!” Lee called out, already feeling guilty.
"Who's that?” Phoebe asked.
"Ronnie, my best friend. I told you about him.” Lee said it loud enough so there was no doubt Ronnie could hear.
They arrived at the bank, really just a rocky ledge. Lee slid out of his tube first, then held Phoebe's for her while she got out.
Ronnie was staring down at them.
Lee gathered up both tubes, one under each arm and stepped up out of the water.
First thing out of Ronnie's mouth was what Lee had hoped most of all he wouldn't hear.
"What the hell, kind of pants you got on?"
"Don't ask,” Lee said, dejectedly.
"They look like a girl's pants,” Ronnie kept on.
On cue, Phoebe stepped up out of the water.
Lee dropped the tubes. “This is Phoebe.” He held out his hand in her direction. Indicating with his other hand to Ronnie, then said, “Ronnie, this is Phoebe."
"Whoa! I get it,” Ronnie's eyes widened. “You've got on her pants. Ooh-la-la."
"Your shoelace is untied,” Phoebe said matter-of-factly pointing down."
Ronnie looked at his sneakers. “Yeah so,” he said defensively.
Lee couldn't help but be defensive himself. “It's not what you think, Ronnie."
Ronnie knelt down, but kept his eyes on Phoebe. “I don't know. It looks to me like you've got her shorts on and she's wearing just a pair of polka dot panties. I think Melissa's got a pair just like ‘em."
"This,” Phoebe pointed with her thumbs, “Is a two piece bathing suit. A bikini! You probably haven't never seen any panties, ‘cept maybe your mom's."
"Oh yeah!” said Ronnie, standing back up and glaring at Phoebe. “If those ain't your panties, then what's Lee doing wearing your shorts?"
Phoebe started to say something, but Lee cut her off. “I lost my cut offs in the Chutes. It was right near the end over on the right side. I hit that weird rock and got caught in the hole.” Lee tried to illustrate, swirling around with his hands while he talked. “You know just past the triple split."
He must have done a good job, because Ronnie asked, “At the rock right before the slab?"
"Yeah,” Lee nodded. “I came out of the hole, but my cut offs didn't."
Ronnie looked at Phoebe again, then repeated, “Ooh-la-la."
"How old is your friend?” Phoebe sneered. “Two? Three?"
"I'm older than Lee,” Ronnie stared back defiantly.
Lee threw Ronnie a look he couldn't help but recognize that suggested it would be better for him later if he just shut up.
"What are you doing here?” Lee adeptly changed subjects.
"You, are in deep doo-doo.” Ronnie said the last words slowly, accenting the “D
s” to show he was serious.
"Why?” Lee asked. “What'd I do?"
Ronnie looked at Phoebe then back at Lee. “I went to your house about an hour ago."
Lee slapped his forehead. “My dad and Maggie weren't home yet, were they?"
Ronnie pointed his finger at Lee. “Bingo."
"Oh no,” Lee moaned.
"What? What's wrong?” Phoebe asked.
Lee hung his head and let his arms fall. “I told my parents I was going on the float trip with Ronnie. I told them, he was going away on vacation and so that's why I couldn't go to church this morning."
"Bingo,” said Ronnie again. “I come up and knocked on the door, wanting to find out how things went at Art's yesterday, and Maggie chews my head off because I'm not with you. Thanks a lot."
"Who's Art?” Phoebe asked.
Lee didn't answer her. “Sorry, Ronnie.” He was genuinely apologetic, as much for getting Ronnie in trouble with Maggie as for not having invited him to come along. “Was she mad?"
Ronnie arched his hands over his head and made a sound like an explosion.
Lee shook his head.
"I figured I better come down and warn you."
"So what?” said Phoebe. “Lee, you haven't really done anything wrong. You told your parents you were going on a float trip, and you went on a float trip. What's the big deal?"
"You don't know Maggie,” Lee said miserably.
"Yeah,” Ronnie drew a finger across his throat like a knife. “Maggie lives for the details."
Lee put a hand on Ronnie's shoulder. “Did she really seem mad?"
"I only hope she lets you out of the house before the Fourth of July,” Ronnie came back.
Lee sat down and fished his tennis shoes out of the mesh bag, then handed Phoebe her sandals. Once he had his shoes on, he stood up. “How do I look?"
"If I were you,” Ronnie suggested, “I wouldn't go home in those girl's shorts."
Lee looked down. “Yeah, like do I have any choice?"
Evil Heights, Book III: Lost and Found Page 22
