by Rita Herron
Soak your troubles away in a warm bubble bath, he scribbled at the top...
He closed his eyes, allowing the creative part of his brain to take control and run wild, hoping some seed of genius would spring to life about the detergent ad. A few hours later he woke up and realized he'd fallen asleep with his hand curled around the book, and he'd been dreaming about doing laundry and enjoying it. Because he was washing soft red teddies, silky boxers with jingle bells on the front and... baby clothes?
He had to be losing his mind.
But he'd also dreamed of a great slogan for Jenna's ad. Maybe he'd drive to her apartment and see if she was still awake.
Only what if she was there with another man?
* * *
Zack stared at his watch and forced himself to wait a good five minutes in front of Jenna's apartment before leaping from the car. It took him another two minutes to collect his portfolio and make it up the sidewalk. His legs were quaking and he almost slammed the door on his hand. He rapped on the door, impatient when it took Jenna several minutes to answer.
When she finally opened the door, his pulse spiked at the sight of the long, silky robe she wore; the damn thing had melted to her figure in all the right places. And knowing she probably had nothing or next to nothing on underneath the robe made his blood go from cold to hot.
"Zack?" she asked softly, a rosy flush on her checks. "What are you doing here?"
Damn. His body was already hardening. He was in big trouble.
"Zack?"
He was so nervous he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, the slogan he'd dreamed up for her ad, "It's what's underneath that counts."
Chapter 7
"Excuse me?" Anger flushed Jenna's cheeks. She tugged her robe tighter around her, both ridiculously pleased and frustrated at the heat in Zack's eyes as his gaze raked over her silk-clad body.
"It's... oh, sorry, I didn't mean to just blurt that out," Zack said. But his gaze settled on her breasts and she gripped the edges of her robe with enough force to shred the fibers.
She had had enough.
Charming Charlie had made lewd comments to her all night during class. "I believe men did descend from apes—and you haven't come very far either!" She slammed the door in his face, furious with the entire male species.
The doorbell rang instantly.
"Go away!" Zack West was the last man on earth she wanted to see, damn his sexy hide.
"Jenna, I'm sorry. What did I do?"
"Don't tell me you don't even know."
Silence. Then he said softly, "No, I... apparently not."
She swung the door open and glared at him in the darkness. She hated him for being a commitaphobic. But most of all, she hated him for making her want him.
"You were looking at me as if you could see me through my clothes. Then you said that... that—"
"Well, I couldn't help it. You look sexy as hell standing there, wearing practically nothing and—"
"It is not nothing, it's a robe!"
"Whatever!" Zack threw his hands up as if she'd lost her mind.
Jenna exhaled and inhaled, striving for calm as she stared at the way the strands of his hair brushed the collar of his denim shirt, the way his jeans hugged his thighs, the way his caramel colored eyes sparkled with confusion in the moonlight. Then she spotted the portfolio tucked under his arm.
She gritted her teeth, wondering if she'd somehow misunderstood him. His unexpected appearance had really rattled her. When she finally looked at Zack again, he was watching her, his thick blond eyebrows arched.
"Um—I came up with a slogan for your store. Dreamed it, actually."
"It's what's underneath that counts," they both said it at once.
Jenna suddenly realized she had misunderstood him. "I do like it. Now come on in and let's celebrate."
Zack felt as if he was walking on air as he entered. He hadn't expected her to invite him in, but he wasn't about to refuse.
Her eyes rose to meet his and his heart clenched at the vulnerability in her face.
"You really like it?" Zack asked.
"Yes, but I don't have to tell you it's good. You know it is." Her rose-pedaled lips lifted into a smile.
Beside them the fire crackled and popped, red and orange flames flickering like a halo around Jenna's fiery red hair.
Zack groaned inwardly, battling the urge to kiss her again.
Walking away from Jenna is getting to be impossible.
"You want to stay?" Jenna asked. "I rented a movie."
Zack hedged and Jenna frowned. "Sorry, you probably have plans tonight, a date maybe..."
"No, not date." Now why in the hell had he admitted that?
Staying might lead to sex and he wanted sex, but he shouldn't have sex with his client.
But the cozy room beckoned him, just as the sweet yearning in Jenna's eyes whispered his name. Desperate for a distraction before he yanked her in his arms and carried out his fantasies, he latched onto the video on the end table. "So, what movie did you rent?"
Jenna shrugged sheepishly. "Sleepless in Seattle."
"Oh, a chic flick."
"It's a good story. You might actually like it if you tried. "
Her words were spoken like a challenge, and Zack never backed down from a challenge. Besides, the way her hips swayed beneath the flimsy fabric of her robe mesmerized him. "Really?"
"Yes. I ordered a pizza, too, if you're hungry."
God, yes, he was hungry.
She went to the refrigerator and grabbed two beers, then handed him one. "Here, relax. The pizza should be here in a minute."
Zack settled on the sofa, his pulse racing as he watched her uncap her beer and take a sip. She was the most down to earth woman he'd ever met.
The doorbell rang, and she rushed to get the pizza, slid two slices on a paper plate and brought it to him, then returned to sit beside him with her own plate. He licked his lips at the smell of the hot marinara sauce, his sex hardening at the way her tongue flicked to capture a piece of pepperoni sliding off her plate.
The soundtrack piped up though, jerking him back to his senses, and he forced himself to watch the movie instead of Jenna. Because every time she took a bite of her food, he wanted to capture her mouth with his.
Slowly though they both relaxed, growing more comfortable together on the sofa. He shed his shoes and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.
She ended up lying with her bare feet in his lap. Then he stroked and massaged the soft curve of her toes while the hero and heroine finally managed to meet at the top of the Empire State Building.
Jenna's eyes were teary, but she looked at him and smiled, and he pulled her into his arms, unable to resist holding her.
She cradled her head in the crook of his shoulder and traced her finger around the buttons of his shirt, her fingers snaking inside and gently massaging his chest. He shifted, kissing the top of her head, closing his eyes when he inhaled the erotic scent of roses.
"So, what did you think?" she asked.
"Definitely a chic flick," he said honestly.
"But incredibly romantic," Jenna whispered. "She knew he was the right man for her from the moment she heard his voice."
He didn't believe that crap.
Sure, a person's voice could seduce another. Jenna's sweet melodic tone certainly aroused him.
But knowing the person was the one? How did anyone know if a relationship would last?
She traced a finger along his jawline though, and he forgot about the movie and the doubts clawing at him. Instead, he decided to seize the moment.
He hugged her tighter to him, the mood of the evening subtly changing as he became aware of the undercurrent of need in her touch.
"What are you thinking, Zack?"
"That romance in the movies... it's not real life."
"You really are a cynic, aren't you?"
"I can't help it," Zack admitted.
She leaned her chin into her palm and looked up
at him. "My parents are a good example. You may think they had it easy and that's how they lasted but it's not true. They got married in college and both of them worked their way through school. Money was tight."
"How did they manage?"
"On love I guess." Jenna's tone turned pensive. "Jeff was born before my mom finished her degree. She had to quit for a while and work to help Dad finish his education. When he graduated, she went to school at night. But then Mom got pregnant again."
Zack wound a strand of her hair around his finger. "She wanted kids?"
Jenna nodded. "Yes, but I don't think she'd planned on two babies so soon. Then I was born with the hearing impairment." She paused and he wondered if she was remembering the first few years of her life, the silent world she'd lived in.
"Were you deaf at birth?"
Jenna shook her head. "I could hear a few sounds so at first the doctors didn't realize the severity of my problem. But as I grew and my speech lagged, they got worried." Jenna rubbed a hand through her hair. "At first, they thought I might have brain damage or be mentally impaired, but they did tests and discovered it was my hearing."
He cradled her hand in his, his heart squeezing at the thought of a little Jenna being labeled or mocked by the other kids. "When did you get the hearing aid?"
"At four, I had my first surgery. At five another. When I was six, I received a hearing aid but even before that I started working with a speech therapist."
"That must have been rough," Zack said, his voice husky.
Jenna shrugged. "We all have problems, Zack. That's the reason families are so important. They love you unconditionally."
Zack remained quiet, grateful at least that Jenna had grown up with a loving family. Too bad he hadn't—maybe he wouldn't have become so afraid of making commitments.
"What about you, Zack? You were little when your folks split?"
"Yeah, six. Mark was eight." He stared at their entwined hands and Jenna squeezed his fingers.
"Just a baby," Jenna murmured softly.
He chuckled. "Not what my stepmother thought. I believe rambunctious brats were what she called us."
Jenna lay her head against his arm, curling next to him as he described the parade of stepmothers his father had subjected him to, and the pranks he and Mark used to play to irritate the housekeepers. "I don't think Dad kept a wife or housekeeper for longer than six months at a time."
"You think he was broken-hearted over losing your mother and looking for a quick replacement?"
"I don't know," Zack admitted. "He seemed to be in a permanent mid-life crisis. Always dating and marrying younger women. Then after a few months, they'd both realize they had nothing in common and split up."
"I'm sorry," Jenna said. "That's no way to raise children. You must have felt abandoned every time one of the women left."
His chest tightened. He had felt abandoned. But he'd never wanted to admit it.
A heartbeat of silence passed between them then she lifted her finger, turned his face toward her and kissed him gently.
Unwanted emotions crowded Zack's throat. Jenna was not the type of woman to abandon anyone.
But he still couldn't risk his heart...
Still, she felt so wonderful in his arms. So right. So tender and loving that he couldn't resist cradling her against him.
Her hair tickled his chin, and she rubbed her hand over his chest, hugging his waist, then her fingers trailed upward and his nipples hardened when she touched the sensitive nubs. She slowly unbuttoned his shirt and peeled away the fabric, then ran her hands over the soft dark blond hair covering his chest, and heat blazed through him.
Watching her slow, sweet, almost shy movements made his groin tighten and a surge of need spiraled through him, more intense than anything he'd ever experienced. Then she rubbed her finger over his ear- lobe, down his neck, over his nipple, circling the tip, and he groaned, fisting his hand in her hair. God, "Jenna, you're driving me wild."
"I know the feeling..." her words trailed off and she lowered her head and pressed her lips to his chest, dropping light kisses across his neck and shoulders and teasing him unmercifully. He moaned as her hair brushed across his bare torso. No amount of hard, wild sex could turn him on as much as watching Jenna touch him so tenderly, so lovingly.
He tipped her chin up to his face and lowered his mouth, taking what she offered, rubbing his hands down her arms, massaging the column of her neck, trailing his fingers over her spine.
Dammit, he wanted to fling the silk robe from her body, feel her bare skin against his own, plunder her mouth, spread her legs and take her right there on the couch.
"This feels perfect, Zack," Jenna whispered. "So right."
Her hand slipped to his thigh and she squeezed his leg, and he shifted, heat racing through him. She trailed her fingers over his lower body, ever so lightly, heightening his arousal, bringing him pain and joy at the same time. "I want you, Zack."
"I want you, too," he whispered in a ragged voice.
She cupped his face and gazed into his eyes tenderly. The raw emotions he saw there stunned him—desire, hunger, need, and some other emotion he couldn't quite define. Her heady scent surrounded him, engulfing him with the desire to hold her, taste her, to love her, to spend the night... and the rest of his life with her.
The rest of his life?
Panic shot through him.
What—he wanted to love her, spend the rest of his life with her?
Jesus, he had to get a grip.
His hands shook as she reached for him and his breath suddenly caught painfully in his chest. His palms felt clammy, and his mouth went dry.
"Zack, what's wrong?" Jenna leaned back, her desire-hazed eyes suddenly darkening with concern. "You look like you're going to faint."
He shook his head, swallowing against the raging case of nerves attacking his system. He wanted her, she wanted him, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in her soft body pressed against him.
But dammit, she wanted more, wanted marriage and family, and the forever- after-love that he couldn't give, didn't know how to give, didn't even believe in.
He tried to stand, but his legs wobbled and the room spun in dizzying circles.
"Zack?"
"I... I'm sorry," he said, trying to reach for her. But his damned hand trembled like he had some nervous disease.
She stood, then took a step back, hurt tightening the lines of her heart-shaped face.
"You really are scared, aren't you?" she asked in a strained voice.
He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His damn vocal chords had completely shut down.
A long tense second stretched between them, then disappointment filled her eyes, and she began to gather the pizza box and their glasses as if they hadn't just been about to make love on her sofa. Then she flipped off the TV and pulled his arm, forcing him to stand. "Go home, Zack. It's what you want."
"No..." He wanted to be with her. But he couldn't will the words to come out.
A sad smile tinged her eyes. Then she brushed a lock of his hair away from his damp forehead and surprised him by standing on tiptoe and kissing his cheek. "It's okay, Zack. I understand. I guess I'll have to settle for your friendship."
Friendship?
He opened his mouth to say that he wanted more, to prove it, but snapped it shut when he remembered the alternative. It was all or nothing with Jenna.
And he had nothing to give her but his body—because his heart had been locked up long ago and wasn't available.
* * *
Jenna closed the door and leaned against the wooden frame, silent tears streaking her face. She was in love with Zack.Totally, whole-heartedly, foolishly in love with him. A man who was terrified of the mere idea of commitment.
A man who'd been shown over and over as a child that love never lasted.
If she could find his mother and father she'd take them both out to the woodshed.
Scrubbing at her tears with the backs o
f her hands, she locked the door and headed toward her bedroom, knowing sleep would be impossible tonight.
Was there any way she could make Zack believe in love? Or would his childhood mistrust scar him for life?
Heloise's advice echoed in her ears. You can't change a man.
No, she couldn't. But God help her, she was falling in love with the man anyway.
Weary she removed her hearing aid before stepping into the shower and realized with painful clarity that she wasn't the one with the handicap at all. It was Zack.
And she had no idea what to do about it.
* * *
Zack counted the ceiling tiles to make himself fall asleep. Finally when he passed out, he dreamed he was covered by mountains of laundry, drowning in it, then the sharp trill of the phone jerked his awake, and he was fighting his way out to reach it. But it was too late.
Mark was on the phone, telling him that Jenna was marrying someone else. But who?
Eventually the dream turned into a full-fledged nightmare. Dozens of men were chasing Jenna while he was trapped in some steel vault with women throwing darts at him.
The next minute he'd escaped, but he was racing to the church to stop Jenna's wedding. Only when he ran inside, everyone gasped and turned, staring at him, waiting for him to do something. But he was frozen, rooted to the spot. All he could do was sweat and shake like a fool. Even worse, the guests were dressed to the hilt in formal attire, and he was stark naked.
He woke up, horrified and dazed, wondering if the dream had been real. But he checked the clock and it had only been a few hours since he'd left Jenna's.
Not enough time for her to find her soulmate.
But definitely enough time for her to realize he wasn't worth her trouble.
At five a.m., he shoved the covers aside, dressed in jogging clothes and called his brother. "It's dawn. I need a run."
