by Mia Jones
“I’ve got an idea, love.”
“Oh, shit,” Jessica said sarcastically, seriously worried.
“Watch it, baby.” He growled and frowned at her.
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, what?”
“You move in here...”
A loud screech sounded as she tried to push against him to sit up. “WHAT! Wait. We just started dating. It’s way too early to be talking about moving in together. What if we break up?”
He almost laughed out loud. It was cute that she thought she’d ever get away from him. “That’s not going to happen.”
She twisted around so she could see his face, convinced he was messing with her. “You don’t know that, Garrett.”
He watched her intently. He knew she cared about him deeply, maybe even loved him. If she knew how much he already loved her, she would know their relationship would never end. He was just smart enough to hold back, because if she knew how obsessed he was with her, she’d run, so he needed to pull his ass back and shut the hell up.
“All right, love. You win this one. We’ll wait to move in together.” He hid his disappointment. He bit his tongue to keep from laughing when she looked at him suspiciously, her little brows puckered together.
Jessica let out a breath and nodded. “Okay, good. Now we need to talk about me going home this afterno—”
Garrett shook his head. “No.”
“Listen, Garrett,” she gritted out between her teeth. “We’re in the beginning of a friendship, right? We should keep it casual—” She gasped out a laugh when he maneuvered her until her back rested against the sofa cushions and his weight pressed her down farther. She shivered in arousal at the wild intense look on his hard face.
“Who put that crazy-assed shit into your pretty head?” he gritted out. One of his hands were on her cheek, and the other rested over her head on the sofa. “Because it’s bullshit. Hear me, Jessica. We are not casual; we are in a committed relationship. Neither of us dates anyone else.” He paused to swallow the rage that burst within him at the thought of someone else touching her. “You understand what I’m saying?” The desperation inside him loosened, making it easier to breathe when she nodded and her little hands circled around on his chest in a soothing manner.
“Okay, good.” His lips settled on hers. She groaned when he pushed his tongue into her mouth, trying to imprint himself on her. The heat of desire quickly raced out of control.
She clung to his shoulders and gave herself over to him and his need for dominance and assurance.
Garrett tore his mouth from hers but pressed it against her neck and breathed in her scent. “I’m sorry if I scared you. It’s just the thought of losing you does crazy things to me.”
Jessica snorted out a laugh and placed her hand on his cheek to get his attention. “You didn’t scare me, Garrett. You never have. Even last night I felt no fear just nervous. I trust you explicitly and have never felt safer in my life.”
A shiver of alarm ran down her spine when she realized she sounded as serious as he did, maybe even stronger. It was too soon for the depth of emotion they both felt for each other, and she was afraid something was going to happen to tear them apart, and that would destroy her.
He bent and pressed his face into her neck, kissing and sucking, tasting as much as he could reach. “I’ll take you home if you promise I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jessica wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Absolutely, Garrett. I’d like that.”
He held her against him for a moment then reluctantly stood and pulled her up. “Let’s go get dressed, and we’ll head out.”
He lifted her over his shoulder in a fireman hold and swatted her behind, making her squeal and threaten him and him laugh as he walked them into the bedroom.
Chapter 18
Garrett stood looking out into the night and the city lights from his condominium window with a half-full glass of scotch in his hand. It had only been three hours since he’d dropped Jessica at her place, but it felt like days. He couldn’t get his stomach to relax. An invisible band had started to constrict in his midsection when he dropped her off at her door and tightened with every hour that passed without her.
He’d been back to his house, but the memory of her there made him depressed, so he’d come to the condo.
This was ridiculous. Never in his life had another person had so much control over him and the power to dominate every part of his life, and it scared the shit out of him.
He had to do something before he truly went insane. He dialed his phone. “Nick, can you meet me at Riley’s?”
“Sure, man. Everything okay?”
“No, I don’t think it is.” Frustration was clear in his voice.
“Okay, we’ll figure it out.”
Within a half-hour, Garrett watched as Nick made his way through the room to where he sat at a booth in the back. Garrett handed him a bottle of beer.
“Okay, what’s up, Garrett?” Nick’s narrowed his eyes on his friend. “Man, you look awful. I’ve never seen you like this, and we’ve known each other most of our lives.”
Garrett chugged half his bottle. “I’m going crazy. That woman is driving me bat-ass crazy. I’ve known her for close to two months, had her once, and I can’t seem to go a minute without her before it starts to become painful. It makes me angry that I’ve let her have so much control over me.” His voice was rough with anxiety.
Nick frowned and stared at him for a moment then sat forward and nodded. “I get that. What do you want to do?”
Garrett ran a rough hand through his hair in irritation. “I don’t know, Nick. This isn’t normal, is it? It couldn’t be. I don’t see other men becoming obsessed over a woman they hardly know.” His voice was rough.
“You’re forgetting what I went through with Angie in college. I know you lived across the state, and I didn’t see you very much when I was in college, but I know how you’re feeling, man, like you can’t breathe without her by you, without being able to touch her when you want. And it seemed to start the minute you met her. I’ll never forget the first time I saw Ang. I was sitting on my bed and had my dorm door open when I saw her and Jessica laughing in the dorm across from me. That first look was all it took to want her more than my next breath.”
A shiver of relief ran through him, taking some of the tension from his shoulders as he nodded. “Will it ever get easier?”
Nick snorted. “Not really. You just learn how to deal with it better.”
Garrett stared at his bottle of beer. “I don’t know how you’ve dealt with it this long, or if I can handle this level of emotion in my life.”
Nick nodded. “I questioned myself at first too.”
“You grew up with solid relationships with your parents and siblings. You know I didn’t have that, Nick. I grew up with two dead-beat parents that were always fighting and a sister who tried to spend as much time as she could away from home, even if it meant sleeping with half the football players. I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this or have what it takes. What if I’m like my parents and I end up hurting both of us?”
Nick snorted. “That will never happen. Your parents didn’t work a full day in their lives and spent most of the welfare money they received from the state on themselves, leaving you and your sister hungry. You’re the polar opposite of what they were.”
Garrett stared at his beer bottle, moving his thumb back and forth, wiping the condensation away. “What’s she going to think about me when she hears about my childhood?”
Surprise raced across Nicks face. “You guys haven’t discussed your pasts?”
Garrett shrugged. “I’ve asked her a few questions, but it seems neither of us are in a big hurry to talk about our childhoods.”
Nick was quiet for a minute. “If you’re already this uneasy about your relationship with her, then maybe this is the right time to break it off before you and Jess get in deeper.” Nick bit back a laugh at the incredulous shock that crossed Garrett�
��s face. He already knew what his friend was going to say, but throwing down the gauntlet might shake him up enough to enjoy Jessica and what they had, instead of wasting time obsessing about it.
The table grew silent for a moment. Garrett’s bottle hit the table with the force of his anger. “Goddammit. I don’t need you to tell me to break up with her. There’s no way I could let her go. It’s inconceivable to think of my life without her. I am one hundred percent in love with that woman. I know it’s too soon and unreasonable, but I don’t care. I need your advice on how to deal with this without tying her to my bed or me going insane.”
A raspy snort tore from Nick before it turned into laughter. “Hell, I don’t know what to tell you. I just take one day at a time and one minute at a time on the hard days. Eventually, and with experience, it will get easier to deal with. It helped when I got her to marry me.”
A spark of hope hit Garrett’s eyes. “Do you think it’s too soon to ask her to marry me?”
“Jesus, man. What do you think?” Nick said with a bark of laughter. “So tell me why you called me down here. You knew before you got here you were keeping her, didn’t you?”
Garrett nodded grimly. “Yea. I think I just wanted confirmation that I wasn’t going insane. I remembered how you have always been possessive of Angie, and I wondered how you handled it.” His brows snapped together when Nick wouldn’t stop laughing. “What’s so damn funny?”
Nick wiped the moisture from his eyes. “It’s too much.” He held up a hand when Garrett reached across the table for him. “Wait. All I’m saying it’s kind of nice to see the tables turned.”
“What do you mean by that, asshole?
Nick laughed again. “That’s Mr. Asshole to you, dude.” He pushed himself tighter against the back of his seat when Garrett lunged at him. “Don’t you remember the shit you gave me when Angie and I started dating and I was going through this shit?”
Garrett bent down and knocked his forehead against the table a few times. “Yeah. I gave you a truck load of shit. I thought you were crazy.”
Nick nodded and smiled.
“Man, I’m sorry. If I had known, I wouldn’t have been such an asshole.”
“Hell, I know that, Garrett. I’m just glad I’m not going through this alone and that I have someone, who really understands, to talk to now.”
Garrett raised his hand for the waitress, holding up two fingers. “I’m buying tonight. I owe you, big time.”
Nick threw a balled-up napkin at him. “You sure as hell do.”
Later that night in bed, Garrett knew sleep wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. He missed Jessica in bed beside him. After only one night, she’d messed up his whole routine and way of thinking, and it was going to take some time to get used to. In the meantime, he reasoned, he’d see her as much as possible and hopefully pull her in a little at a time until she felt the same way about him that he did for her. The only ending he saw in their future was marriage and maybe children. For him, there was no other option.
Chapter 19
The next few weeks flew past. Garrett was able to see Jessica every day. He’d gotten her to spend the night with him more as the days passed. More and more of her things were ending up at his house and some even in the condo uptown.
He thought over time, his cravings for her would lessen. Instead, they seemed to grow every time he had her. It should have alarmed him, but he was too happy to care.
Several times, they had double-dates with Nick and Angie. Garrett watched Nick with his wife and understood that Nick was just as bad off.
Jessica took the time now to make herself less dowdy, even going shopping several times with Angie. And she hated shopping. Although, it didn’t seem to matter to Garrett what she was wearing. He never stopped wanting to touch her, no matter where they were at or what she looked like.
He tried taking her to different places, try new things. Once he had taken her to the movies. They had to leave halfway through before they got kicked out. His hands hadn’t stopped, and it quickly got heated between them; their need for each other flamed. She was surprised that night they’d made it to his house. They hadn’t made it to the bedroom. They didn’t get past the kitchen for a while that night.
Jessica fell more in love with him every day. It seemed that her whole world started to revolve around him. It scared her at times how strong her emotions were. She thought at first it was typical, until she started to watch other couples. She was dumbfounded to watch young couples as they sat in restaurants, ignoring each other or talking or texting on their phones. She worried that with time, Garrett and she would get to that point too but then discarded it. What they felt for each other was so strong and seemed to grow, not lessen, every day. They would never get to that point.
Sometimes her insecurities would creep up on her and shake her. Jessica knew she was an attractive woman, but she’d look at Garrett at times and still not understand what he saw in her. It didn’t help when women threw themselves at him at every turn, and it didn’t seem to matter to them if she was standing there or not. Sometimes, it felt like she was invisible. It helped that Garrett didn’t seem to see these women. All his attention stayed on her, but it didn’t take away all her uncertainties.
Jessica had talked to Angie a few times. Angie always came back with how much Garrett seemed to care for her, and she couldn’t understand why she was insecure. She was so beautiful and had a great curvy body and was incredibly sweet.
It didn’t matter. Other women always seemed more beautiful than she and definitely had better bodies. Every one of them was taller than she and was skinnier. Jessica kept asking herself what man wanted a full-figured, ignorant, small-town girl with no experience?
As the days passed, her insecurities grew instead of lessened. It got worse when it seemed Garrett was coming up with excuses to not be with her. His most used excuse was having more meetings, especially at night, and he seemed more preoccupied than normal. When she asked, he always had a good explanation, but they seemed contrived to Jessica.
One Friday night, Jessica waited at her apartment for Garrett to pick her up at six for dinner. But six came and went, then seven, then eight. Jessica tried several times to text and call him, but she never got through. She started to worry, because Garrett was never this late.
Jessica’s stomach tightened in concern. She tried calling his office several times and was surprised when someone, a woman, actually answered this late at night.
“Hi, is this Mrs. Arnett?
There was a slight pause. “No. She went home hours ago.”
“Oh, okay. Who is this?”
“You tell me who you are.” The voice took a hard, cold edge.
A deep-seated feeling of dread crept into mind. “This is Jessica. Is Garrett there?”
The woman paused again and then purred. “Oh yes, Jessica. I’ve heard all about you. Yes, he is, but he can’t come to the phone.”
Tears burned her eyes. “I see. Could you give him a message for me?”
“I’ll try, but we’re very busy, and I might not get the chance,” the woman said seductively.
A mass of emotion clogged her throat. “Okay. Just tell him I called.”
“Whatever. Now I need to get back to him, he needs me.”
She heard Garrett’s voice in the back say, “Let’s go, I don’t have all night.” It seemed to bruise something inside her to actually hear him there with her.
Jessica stood in the middle of her living room, frozen and thankfully numb. She knew logically this was out of character for Garrett, but that conversation just now drove her insecurities to the front of her consciousness. All the times lately that he acted secretive ran through her mind. What if the time had finally come that he’d grown tired of her?
She needed to move but couldn’t remember why. She swallowed back her tears and grabbed her purse. She needed to keep busy, or she felt like she’d fall into a million pieces.
A half an hour later, she unl
ocked the door to the shelter. There was always something here to do. And the animals always gave her comfort. She worked well into the night, finally falling asleep on her couch in the wee hours of the morning, when she had no more energy and no will to keep the tears at bay.
“Jess. Jess, wake up.”
Jessica jerked awake, disoriented for a moment.
“Jess. What are you doing here? Have you been here all night?”
Jessica sat up and pushed the light blanket off. She rubbed her eyes. “Morning, Kari.”
Kari cringed at Jessica’s raw-sounding voice. “Jessica, what’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just had a lot to do and when I looked up, it was so late, I just crashed here.” She turned away from Kari and carefully folded the blanket.
“And Garrett let you?”
A flash of pain sparked her eyes before she blanked out her emotions. “What I do is not up to him.”
Kari sat down on the couch and pulled Jessica down next to her and took her hand. “Jess, did something happen between you and Garrett?”
Jessica pulled her hand away and stood then turned and walked to her desk. “No,” she said. “Can you go make some coffee for us?” If she talked about it right now, she’d fall apart.
Kari stood, uncertain. “Sure. And if you want to talk, I’m here.”
Jessica sat at her desk and faced her blank computer. “Thank you, Kari. I really do appreciate everything you do for me. But right now, I don’t need anything except coffee and to be left alone so I can get some work done. Okay?” Jessica watched Kari nod and leave.
Jessica’s phone rang after Kari walked out. Garrett’s name came up, and she sat there staring at the phone. She still wanted to believe there was an explanation for last night but was afraid right now to find out. If it had just been last night, she wouldn’t have been upset, but this went beyond that. She had felt something was off, and the feeling of distance seemed to grow. As the days passed, she sometimes sensed he wasn’t there with her emotionally or mentally anymore. He still touched her all the time and was always very affectionate, but it was different than before.
