by Daisy May
“Now, these family members…”
Cole and I trimmed a few more people from the list. His side was as long as mine, at least when we started. His family was smaller, but he had his ex-wife and her husband on there, even if we doubted they’d make the overseas trip, and a few people from Kerry’s life. And since he’d lived in Miami a lot longer than me, he had more friends here as well.
Once we had that done, I went back to the wedding planning website that was guiding us through everything. “I don’t know how we’re ever going to find a place to have this thing,” I murmured. “The site says most venues are booked months in advance.”
“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” he asked. “I called around during a free moment this morning. There was a last-minute cancellation at a nice hall in Little Gables.”
“Really?”
I jumped out of my seat and was embracing him before I could stop myself. Once I’d realized what I was doing, I leapt back and sat down again. My heart was pounding, my arms still tingling from the contact with his firm body. The scent of his cologne lingered in my nose.
He looked at me oddly. “If I’d realized how happy you’d be, I would’ve told you earlier.”
“It’s just so amazing,” I said. “I’ve been worrying about finding a venue, any venue, and now you casually drop the bomb that you found the perfect one?”
“I don’t know if it’s perfect,” he said. “Some couple cancelled their wedding there, so maybe there’s something wrong with it.”
“Nope, those other people must’ve broken up.” I grinned. “So much the better for us.”
“You seem pretty happy about other people’s misery.”
“If it means we can get married in a nice wedding hall, other people can be as miserable as they want.” I probably made no sense. I was still a little high on the hug I’d given him.
We were skipping a lot of the usual steps people normally took. No bachelor parties, for instance. No wedding website, no newspaper announcement of our nuptials.
There was still a lot of work to do. Renting tuxes, finding a photographer, sending the invitations, organizing the catering, finalizing the entertainment, booking the… honeymoon.
But piece by piece, everything was falling into place for a perfect fake wedding.
Even if the “fake” part was less than perfect.
Six—Cole
Early afternoon sunlight filtered through the window, falling across the living room carpet with a soft warmth. And in it, Gordon’s toenails shone luminescent red. He wiggled them, a smirk coming over his face.
“They look amazing,” Kerry said, twisting the cap back onto the nail polish bottle. “Don’t you like them, Daddy?”
I mumbled something incoherent, even though I was actually a little amused. It’d taken some effort to talk Kerry down from her original idea. Eventually, we’d compromised—no makeup, but she could give us a pedicure. I’d never thought I would be going into my second wedding with nail polish on, but given Kerry’s enthusiasm, I couldn’t complain.
“It’s your turn,” she said, turning to me as she grabbed another bottle. “You’re going to have pink nails!”
I shook my head, although I was smiling. “Couldn’t I have something manly, like blue?”
“You’re going to have polished toenails, babe,” Gordon said. “I think the ship has sailed on being manly.”
Kerry held out her hands, and I gave her my foot. She started painting me—pink, of course. I tried not to look.
“Well, that’s over,” I said, pulling my feet back in preparation to stand up.
“Don’t move, Daddy, you’ll smudge it!” She wiggled her fingers at me. They matched the pink on my toes.
“How long does it take? We have to get going,” I said.
“Wait five minutes first,” she said solemnly. “Then I’ll do the glitter.”
“Glitter?” I groaned, pressing my hand to my forehead.
Kerry nodded. “And then the top coat, to make sure it won’t come off.”
“No, no, no,” Gordon said. “There’s no time for glitter and absolutely no time for a top coat. We need to get to the wedding hall. You don’t want to make your daddy late for his wedding, do you?”
Kerry gave an exaggerated gasp. “We won’t be late! There’s still time!”
“This compromise was a great idea, honey,” I muttered. I could already tell Kerry was in no mood to compromise any further.
When I was fairly confident the polish was dry, I pulled on my socks. “Come on, let’s go.”
“But what if it smudges?” Kerry insisted.
“No one’s going to see them.” I caught myself before snapping at her. This whole wedding thing was a little stressful, and she didn’t understand the seriousness of it.
“The important thing is that the color is there.” Gordon was almost magically good with her, as usual. “We’re bringing a little piece of you into the ceremony, even if it smudges.”
“Fine,” Kerry said, and flounced toward the car.
She’d had the time of her life picking out the white flower girl dress she wore. With its sequins and frills, it was more eye-catching than either of the tuxedos we’d rented.
I slid behind the wheel, conscious that my hand was shaking. Even after a month of fake dating, I still wasn’t sure if I was making the world’s worst decision. Well, I was pretty sure I was, but the question was whether I’d regret it.
Now that the wedding was actually happening, I almost wished we’d put a little more effort into our planning. We’d only tasted ten cakes, and we’d gone with the cheapest set of flowers instead of the one we’d liked the most. This was just another day, just one party out of many we’d have in our lives.
Except that somehow, now that it was happening, it felt monumental.
When we got to the wedding hall, we headed in different directions. We were going to come up opposite ends of the aisle, meet in the middle, then walk back up to the front of the room to say our vows.
We hadn’t written our own, or anything fancy like that. We were basically half-assing our wedding. And yet I had to keep reminding myself we’d be doing the same for our marriage.
“Cole!” Talbot called, clapping me in an embrace.
We exchanged a few pleasantries, although my mind wasn’t anywhere near the conversation. I kept glancing over at Gordon, who was talking to his moms. He resembled both of them, strangely enough. And the love between the three was completely visible.
I swallowed as I looked away, my gaze finding my own parents. They were decent people. I knew they stood behind me in terms of my sexuality. It’d been hard for them, especially at first. They liked Samantha so much, and didn’t understand why I felt the need to ruin a good thing.
But they also realized that I was an adult, and that I’d given the “normal” way a genuine effort before going over to the dark side. They still kept in touch with Samantha and occasionally talked about how happy they were for her and her new husband. I didn’t mind. She was Kerry’s mom, and she’d be in our lives no matter what.
When I’d vaguely thought about getting married again, I’d always imagined my parents would be there and that they’d be happy for me. In reality, today, the way they were looking at me only made me feel… guilty.
“So you’re going through with this,” Mom said, a strained smile on her face.
“A little late to back out now,” I said.
“You could still do it,” Dad said in a whisper. “Just turn around and leave. You don’t need to engage in some sham marriage with a nanny.”
“I’m not going to do that,” I said, speaking with a firmness I didn’t feel. “I may not be in love, but I’ve made a commitment.”
“How do you know this Gordon isn’t trying to take advantage of you?”
“We’ve already laid out the terms of this arrangement.”
“That means you’ve signed a pre-nup?” Dad asked.
I nodded. “Talbot took ca
re of that for me. Gordon didn’t even blink at it.”
“Good,” Dad grunted. “I haven’t been working for the last forty years so that everything I’ve built could go to some immigrant when I die.”
I put my hand to my forehead. “He’s not some immigrant.”
“You’re literally marrying him because he’s illegal,” Mom said.
“Well, yes, but only because he’s so great for Kerry.”
“And there’s no American who could’ve been just as good?” Dad asked with a raised eyebrow.
My shoulders were tensing up, and I stretched out my arms as subtly as I could. “Please don’t do this now. Go take a seat, okay? I have you up front in the VIP section.”
“All the better to watch this farce take place,” Dad muttered as he went.
I gritted my teeth, glad to be rid of them. Why didn’t they try showing me their real feelings for a change? I knew I should be glad they were open and honest when they thought I was making a bad decision. It was pretty much the ideal for parental behavior. But sometimes I had to make those bad decisions and let the chips fall where they weren’t. I already knew they’d fall eventually.
I mingled with a few other people, and then as the time came, I hustled to the front entrance of the hall. I waited as the music started to play inside and the chattering voices quieted down. My heart was beating hard, and I wished I’d thought to bring some liquid courage.
I could’ve used a flask to dip into right now. I remembered having a few nips at my wedding to Samantha. Then again, maybe this was a good kind of jitteriness. Maybe even back then, I drank because I knew somewhere in my subconscious that I was marrying the wrong person.
In any case, I didn’t have a choice. Kerry was already swinging the door open for me to step inside. Holding her basket, she dropped flowers all the way down the aisle, ending just before the altar.
I took my first few steps, smiling when I remembered what was under my socks. Kerry looked happier than I’ve ever seen her. Even at her age, she was intuitive enough to understand her dad had found someone to make him happy. Or so she thought, anyway.
After a few steps, I looked over to the center of the aisle I was walking down. My gaze met Gordon’s, and I almost stopped in my tracks. His eyes pierced into mine with their intensity. He looked for all the world as if he was getting married for real. I’d never guessed, even over this past month, that he’d be such a good actor.
The officiant said something as we reached each other and smiled into each other’s eyes. I didn’t even hear it, I was so captivated by the look on Gordon’s face. He was absolutely stunning, and even though he seemed a little anxious, I would’ve sworn for all the world that he was happy.
We stood there gazing at each other for so long that a few titters broke out. Realizing we were supposed to be moving, I laced my fingers through his. Together, we turned and walked up to the front of the room.
The warmth of his hand was nothing new at this point, and yet it made my heart pound in a whole new way. This man really did things to me that I’d never felt before, not even with the men I’d dated. Probably had something to do with how we were actually getting married, but I tried not to think about that.
The officiant spoke, but I honestly didn’t hear a single word he said. My eyes were on my feet, and all of my attention was in the union of our hands. I was basically on a cloud, although some part of me was still conscious that this wasn’t actually real.
The next thing I knew, Gordon was untangling his fingers from mine. He lifted my arm, taking the ring from Kerry’s helpful grip.
“And do you, Cole Hofstetter, take Gordon Bruin to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
I swallowed, and my voice was shaky as I said, “I do.”
Somehow I managed to get the ring onto Gordon’s finger. And the rest of the ceremony was a blur.
*
My parents had graciously allowed us to use their house for the reception. It was large, considerably bigger than mine, and they had enough seating for the amount of people we’d invited.
I could barely speak as I got out of the limo. My stomach was turning over and over, and I wondered if I’d made a huge mistake.
Kerry came bounding up to me before Gordon and I even reached the door. “Were you two kissing in there?” she demanded.
“Kerry, we don’t ask people things like that.”
Ignoring what I’d said, she began to sing. “Daddy and Gordon, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
My mom approached and took her by the shoulder, steering her inside. “I’ll take care of her from here.”
Inside, there was plenty of food, catered by a great company in town. And while the bar wasn’t fully stocked, it was completely open, and I decided to grab myself one of those drinks I could’ve used earlier.
The bartender we’d hired for the occasion give me a knowing smile. “What’ll it be?”
“Whatever you’ve got.”
He poured me some kind of shot, and I threw it back. This reception couldn’t end soon enough. Half the people here knew the truth about this marriage, while the other half were in the dark. I could only hope that the alcohol involved wasn’t going to loosen anyone’s tongue. Including my own.
I put the glass back on the counter, and the bartender poured me a second without me asking—some kind of mixed rum thing this time. “Can’t wait for this to end so you can get your man alone?” he said. “Can’t say I get it personally, but I can imagine. Just about every groom feels the same way.”
He seemed like a nice guy, the kind of man I’d want to open up to. But right now, I couldn’t risk telling my secrets to a single person. Too many people already knew the truth. I nodded tightly and put down a tip.
As I moved into the crowd, smiling and greeting different people, I wondered for the millionth time exactly what I’d signed up for. I couldn’t even be honest with anyone new that I met from here on out. I couldn’t tell all these people congratulating me to cut it out. And I couldn’t feel excited about my wedding night because it wasn’t real.
Clenching my jaw, I started to turn back to get another drink—and then a hand landed on my arm. Both of Gordon’s moms stood in front of me, and they took turns shaking my hand.
“We’ve been hoping to catch you,” one said. “We didn’t know if you’d have any free time today, so I’m glad we found a moment now.”
I pulled away. “I was just about to get a drink, actually.”
“That’s all right, Giulia will get it for you.” The blonde mom gave me a hard stare, and I knew this wasn’t an optional conversation.
When her wife came back, the two of them went back into their nice middle-aged couple routine. “We haven’t even properly introduced ourselves,” the brunette said as she handed me the drink. “I’m Cynthia—Gordon calls me Mama C—and that’s Giulia.”
“I’m Cole, but you knew that already.” I downed my drink in one go.
“Let’s sit down,” Giulia said. The three of us moved into my parents’ sitting room, where miraculously, three spots on the couch were clear. With the way they were both looking at me, I fought the urge to stare them down. We weren’t actually enemies, I reminded myself—even if the way they were acting did put me on the defensive.
“I understand you’re trying to do something nice for our little boy,” Cynthia said.
I had a suspicion that he was a very big boy where it counted… but this wasn’t the time. I closed my eyes for half a second, firmly instructing the inappropriate side of my brain to turn the fuck off.
“I only have your son’s best interests in mind,” I said.
“All right,” Giulia said. “I hope you’re serious about that.”
“Absolutely,” I said. “I fully intend to stay married to Gordon until he can become a citizen, and he can keep his job with me as long as he wants. Kerry adores him, so even if he wants to stick around until she is graduated from high school, he’s quite welcome to.”
The two women shared a glance, then looked back at me, their expressions hard again. “That’s very kind of you, but it wasn’t what we meant.”
Giulia added, “We’re more worried about Gordon’s heart. We’re people who value love above just about anything else.”
“We’ve already talked about this,” I said, somewhat more nervous now. “We wrote out a whole agreement. We won’t be dating while we’re married, although we’ll think about making an exception if someone special comes along for either of us. I know not having a love life will suck for both of us, but that’s what Gordon signed up for when he decided to do this.”
“Right,” Giulia said. “But that’s not exactly what we meant, either.”
I stared at her, puzzled.
“What we’re saying,” Cynthia said, “is that we hope you won’t break Gordon’s heart.”
Seven—Gordon
The reception wrapped up early to allow us to get to the airport. The flight to Jamaica was less than two hours, so we arrived a little after midnight. By the time we got to our suite at the all-inclusive resort, it was past one in the morning, and all either of us wanted to do was to go straight to bed.
Although there were definitely things I would’ve liked to do in that bed other than sleeping. All the romance of the day had gotten to me, and I found myself side-eyeing Cole as we set our bags down.
This was our wedding night. He had to be aware of the flower petals shaped into a heart on the bed, and of what they implied. Surely some part of him was thinking about what other people who stayed in this room would be doing right about now.
If anything was ever going to happen between us, tonight would be the night.
We’d chosen the honeymoon suite, just in case anybody checked the receipts later. There was one king-sized bed. Big enough for both of us to sleep comfortably without touching… even if now my imagination was running wild with visions of us accidentally cuddling. Hey, it could’ve happened.
