I leaned against the door behind me and let myself crumble to the ground. I really felt like shit and just couldn’t keep up the act. My breath came out in short gasps as I let the coolness from the metal seep into my too-hot skin.
I reached over and pulled my sleeve up, so they could see the bite for themselves. I closed my eyes as the sounds of safeties clicked off and listened to footsteps approach. Damn, it was going down like this, wasn’t it? They were just gonna shoot me, just like that. Made sense though; it’s what I’d want them to do. A small smile started as it occurred to me that maybe they would be ok; maybe they’d get through this if they stuck together.
Heat from the lantern made my skin feel like I had a sunburn and I could see shadows from the light from beneath my eyelids as fingers prodded the wound. Any minute now one of them would put a bullet in my skull and it would all be over. I was almost grateful I wouldn’t have to fight anymore; fuck knew I’d been fighting my whole life, but there was also a huge part of me that wasn’t ready to give up; to give them up.
“Go ahead, shoot me. What are you waiting for?” I let the defeat leak out into my words, feeling it as it slid over my teeth.
“No one is shooting anyone.” I opened one eye and peered at Jack.
“What do you mean? I’ve been bit, I’ll turn at some point; you have to shoot me.” I was starting to sound whiny, but I was really tired.
“Um, why aren’t we shooting her?” I looked at Jack as I nodded my head in agreement with Chloe. Wait, why was Chloe so damn anxious to shoot me?
Jack turned and motioned for the kids to come closer. I closed the eye I’d been using all my strength to hold open and listened to footsteps shuffling towards me. “This wound looks days old, how long do you think it takes someone to turn?” Jack asked, tracing the ragged edges of teeth marks on my shoulder.
Ty made a noise in the back of his throat before responding. “Well, it only took about 15 minutes or so every time I’ve seen someone bit…”
20 minutes, it takes 20 minutes, I wanted to tell him, but just didn’t have the strength.
“Exactly. Look at this, it’s not fresh, so it didn’t happen here, and it’s starting to scab, which means it’s healing,” Jack continued. “If she were going to turn, she’d have done so already.” He ran his hand across my forehead and down my cheek. “What happened to you in there?” His voice was barely more than a whisper, but might as well have been a scream as it echoed around in my head and settled into my chest.
My mouth felt dry and I didn’t have the energy to explain. “Can’t,” I managed, while fighting back tears.
“Goddamnit, Angie! I’m sick of you playing stoic and keeping shit from us, if you had just dealt with your fucking feelings in the first place, admit that you need us and actually include us in your plans for once, maybe we wouldn’t be here right now!” My eyes snapped open in shock as I watched the anger play out over Ty’s face which had turned red as he turned and punched the wall for emphasis. Watching as his ribs heaved beneath his black t-shirt from exertion and frustration, I couldn’t help my surprise; I would have expected that kind of outburst from his sister, but not him.
Jack leaned me forward and yanked the zipper down on my pack, pulling something out. The light I could feel from the lanterns became closer to the ground and I could hear the kids sitting down.
Twisting the cap off what I realized was a bottle; Jack pushed it into my hands. Grateful, I lifted the bottle to my lips and downed most of it in one go. Panting, I set it back down and leaned back against the door, closing my eyes.
“Ian was working on a serum that he claimed was supposed to be a cure, but I have my suspicions.”
I opened my eyes and was met with 4 patient faces staring back at me, if I counted Roscoe.
Closing my eyes, I continued the story. “He injected me with something that made me trip balls for a while and made me sick as fuck, but when I recovered, I noticed a few things had changed. I don’t need glasses anymore, my hearing, sight and smell are mildy better, I’m a better shot, and I’m faster and stronger than I’ve ever been in my life.”
“You also heal at an accelerated rate, don’t you?” Chloe asked, and I touched the tip of my nose in answer, still not opening my eyes.
“The bite on my shoulder is hours old; I was bit while we were trying to escape.”
“You could’ve killed us, why didn’t you say anything?!” Ty yelled at me and I could feel him start to stand in menace.
“I didn’t even realize I was bit until a few minutes before we got here. Maybe it was adrenaline or whatever, but I didn’t even know it was there until it started itching. When I figured it out and saw it, I planned to find a safe place for you guys to hole up and leave.” The last words came out as a whisper and tears started to well up behind my lids. My lip started to tremble, so I bit down until I tasted blood.
“Fuck, Angie.” I felt Jack reach over and brush a stray lock of hair that had come loose away from my forehead and I could hear a world of sorrow in his words. I knew how he felt; after everything we’d been through, it was going to end like this.
The tears started to slip past my eyelids and I opened them to see the light dancing across Jack’s features through the blurry haze of tears. His eyes looked hollow and I could tell he’d dropped a few pounds even in the few days I’d known him. The circles under his eyes were deep and dark, which only made him look more attractive. I watched his mouth turn down into a frown and noticed the first few crow’s feet gather at the corners of his eyes as he stared at me. He didn’t need to say more; it was written all over his face.
I thought I might be able to hold it together for them, at least until I caught sight of a lonely tear snaking its way down the stubble on Jack’s cheek. That one drop of salt water caused something in me to break and I could actually feel my heart shatter inside my chest, ricocheting off my ribs and drifting to ashes that finally settled in the soles of my feet.
I felt my mouth start to collapse as more tears threatened to break free, but before they could, Jack scooted over and pulled me into his arms. Hands stroking my hair, he settled my face against his chest and I was immediately calmed by the rapid beating of his heart. I pulled my legs up and nestled in the warmth of his lap and relaxed as he rocked me. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had just held me, rocked me…it was a strange feeling. But it was Jack, and somehow it was the most normal feeling in the world. If I were to die at this very moment, I’d go out smiling just knowing that someone cared if I lived or died.
Rustling to my right pulled my attention to Chloe, who had shifted back against the wall and pulled her knees up to her chin, brows furrowed in concentration. Her hair was trailing down her shoulders and she looked so small, so young sitting there and I couldn’t help but start to get angry at the thought of all she’d lost, only to have it continue. The world had never been a fair place, especially for kids, but now…now we were all suffering and I couldn’t stop the rage building inside at the injustice of it all. She hadn’t even had the chance to grow up, and now she probably wouldn’t get to. For all her posturing, I knew she was broken inside and there wasn’t anything I could do to fix it.
I snuck a look over at Ty, and watched as he sat still as stone, save for his hand, which was methodically petting Roscoe’s head. His dark hair had fallen over his face and he was staring at the floor, so I couldn’t see his expression, but the sadness nearly radiated from him. I wanted to reach out and hug him and Chloe, but I just didn’t have the energy to move.
No one said anything. The only sounds were Roscoe’s breathing and the occasional moan from the building settling in for the night. I felt terrible; every muscle and bone protested the slightest of movements and my stomach was still threatening to expel its occupants, yet I was able to ignore it from the safety of Jack’s arms as I listened to his steady breathing.
They say that right before you die your entire life flashes before your eyes. Maybe I was dying, becau
se images kept playing out like the VCR was eating the tape and everything became gross and distorted. All the times I’d watched my parents get high and fight, all the times I’d been sick or hurt and no one had ever held me, or comforted me; they all played out until I hoped I did actually die just to escape them.
3:30 on a Tuesday afternoon and I was racing home through the drifts of yellow and brown leaves that had fallen and were swirling effortlessly around the streets. My heart felt like it was going to burst I was so excited; I’d won the school-wide spelling bee and they were going to send me to regional’s! I couldn’t imagine anything more exciting and I definitely couldn’t wait to get home and have mom sign the permission slip.
I was moving so fast I almost didn’t stop fast enough as I reached our front door and my body slammed against it even as I was trying to twist the knob. The door flew open, depositing me in all my excitement on the living room floor. Wasting no time, I pulled myself up from the threadbare and dingy brown carpet and raced to the kitchen, permission slip tight in my grip and arm outstretched, as if the most important thing in the world was that little piece of paper reaching my mom before I did.
“Mom! Mom! Look!” Struggling for air I thrust the slip at her as she sat at the kitchen table. My enthusiasm died down a little when I saw she was still in her paper-thin nightgown hunched over the kitchen table, keeping court with a pile of empty beer cans and the ashtray overflowing to the point she didn’t even notice and just flicked her cigarette ash directly on the Formica.
She looked up at me from hollow eyes and I watched the irritation at being interrupted flash across her face as she snatched the slip out of my hand, peering at it from around the cloud of smoke snaking from the cigarette resting between her lips.
“What the fuck is this?” She snarled, still trying to make out the words, but I knew the amount of cans on the table meant she was too drunk to read it.
“It’s a permission slip, mom. I won the spelling bee and they want me to go to regionals!”
She grunted at the paper and looked up at me, real confusion on her face. “What the fuck you need to spell for?”
I sighed and hiked my backpack higher on my shoulder. I knew getting her to sign it wasn’t going to be easy, and I had to tread very carefully. “You don’t have to do anything, just please sign it and they will take care of the rest. It’s just so I can go with the other contestants,” I said quietly, trying to make myself smaller and less conspicuous.
She took another hard look at me and pulled the cigarette from her lips, smashing it into the table. “You’re too fat and ugly to be worrying about school,” my heart broke as she tore the permission slip in half and flung it back at me. “You need to lose some fucking weight so someone will marry your ass and get you out of my face.”
Tears threatened, but I knew if I cried she would only hit me, so I turned around and walked out of the kitchen, into my bedroom, and closed the door.
“You said they injected you with something, right?” I jumped at Chloe’s words, having been completely consumed by the ghost of spelling bee’s past.
“Yeah, supposedly they were working on a cure, but considering I was a test subject, I can’t imagine that’s what Ian’s game plan was,” I murmured from where I was still pressed against Jack’s shirt.
I watched Chloe stand and start to pace up and down the little hallway we had all made camp in. It seemed odd to me to see a 12 year old pacing in the same manner that adults do, but here we were.
My amusement continued while witnessing her entire thought process play out over her small features. I could see her reasoning, and likely coming to the same conclusions I had; it probably wasn’t a cure they had been working on.
She stopped pacing and turned to face us, hands on her hips as she considered the options. “There’s no way this was an isolated incident.”
Nodding my head, “Yeah it definitely-wait, what?” I was sure she was thinking the serum was some sort of new form of government warfare to turn zombies into something that could be controlled and Ian was keeping it hush-hush from Washington. Well, assuming there still was a Washington.
Chloe shook her head at me, “I know what you’re thinking, Angie, and I don’t disagree with you, but I have to wonder how far this thing goes.” Her brows furrowed as she stared at her sneakers, trying to work out the rest.
She must’ve struck a chord because sudden understanding washed over Ty’s face as he started to laugh. “Holy fuck! She’s right,” Ty started to say, leaning towards Jack. “It couldn’t have just been at the Dome, there has to be more locations that were also testing whatever that shit was, which means that there is more to this than we originally thought.”
I felt Jack nod in agreement. “I was thinking the same thing. At first I thought it was just Ian’s dislike of Angie, but when I saw where they were keeping her, there was definitely something much more intricate involved.” I felt Jack’s words rumble through his chest and although I felt slighted at the implication that all of this was my fault for Ian not liking me, I kicked myself for not seeing what they all saw. Obviously I had been so caught up in my own drama I failed to see the bigger picture that stank of government conspiracy.
“Ugh. Please no one say ‘government conspiracy’,” I moaned, turning in towards Jack until my entire face was enclosed by the deliciously musky cotton of his shirt and my words became muffled. “We’re already in a fucking zombie apocalypse; I just can’t handle more nefarious government plotting right now.”
Jack’s chuckling caused my head to bounce and I lifted it to glare at him with the one eye I managed to peel open. “Did I say something funny?”
He looked down at me and still laughing, “What is it about you that manages to land us in the middle of an experiment gone wrong that only came about from what was likely another experiment gone wrong?” His ribs heaved under my head and somewhat lessening the severity of my glare as my head continued to bounce against him.
“Why is it my fault?! I just wanted a beach and a beer and blunt and to live in peace, it’s you and your “let’s rescue everyone and save the world” attitude that got me into this mess!” Ending on a near shout, I pulled myself up from his lap and leaned against the wall. I wanted to storm off in a fit of righteousness, but I just didn’t have the energy. All I could manage was a scathing death glare at Jack while he continued his laughing fit. Sure, he looked sexy as hell when he smiled, but now wasn’t the time to focus on my wanton lust; now was the time to lay it all out, and I sure as fuck DID blame him for all of this. Every. Bit.
When he finally settled down, I could see the wheels turning in his thoughts as he let my words and my tone set in and I could almost pinpoint the exact moment understanding set in as his mouth tightened into a fine, turned down line and his eyes narrowed at me. If he were a dragon, there would’ve been smoke rings coming out of his nostrils.
“Really? You’re going to blame me for this?! If you hadn’t gone snooping, we would still be safe at the Dome!” Rising to his feet, he turned and stomped a few paces away from me and punched the wall next to the door, causing the glass in the door to rattle and leaving a nice little dent in the plaster. I watched him pull his fist away, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the little bits of blood snaking through the cracks on the wall.
Turning, he pointed a finger at me, “For that matter, if you hadn’t killed Steve, I would probably be safely holed up at my estate.” Jack’s eyes shot daggers at me and that last one was meant to wound.
Watching the rage roll over his face, I had no words. I had saved his life and he was going to blame me for everything that had happened?!
I leaned my face against the wall, letting the chill seep into my too-hot flesh. “I bet you’re going to blame me for the apocalypse too, right? ‘Cause it’s all my fault, ya know. The whole fucking world ending is all my fault, so go right ahead.” I let the words fall out with the weight of my defeat and worry over not knowing if I would live or try to ea
t everyone’s faces. I might turn into Spiderman or Hannibal; could go either way.
“Ahh, we’re gonna go hang out in the shop while ya’ll work this out.” Chloe picked up her pack and Roscoe’s leash as Ty opened the door and shone the lamp around the shop. When they were sure the coast was clear, all 3 of them retreated to the safety of anywhere that wasn’t currently this hallway.
“You’re probably going to blame me for them leaving too, right?” My sarcasm only slightly masked my fear and bitterness. They couldn’t possibly understand what I had been through in the last couple of days and I didn’t see any of them racing out to get injected with shit just so they could get bitten and find out what they would turn into; nope, that was reserved for me.
Jack was still standing next to the wall he’d just assaulted, taking slow, deep breaths and rubbing his knuckles. It was weird to see someone who was generally so calm get so worked up about an argument, but it appeared I had that effect on people. “Angie,” He started, turning to look down at me.
My eyes were still closed as I focused on my own breathing against the wall. “Yeah, Jack?”
“I’m sorry.” His steps echoed off the concrete as he walked over to me.
“For what?”
“What they did to you. None of it would’ve happened if we hadn’t of stopped, and I’m sorry.” I felt Jack slide to the ground next to me, and as he pulled me into his arms again, the world felt right for a split second as I settled against his chest.
“It’s not your fault any more than it’s mine.”
A deep rumble rolled through his chest with his next words. “Tell me what they did to you.”
I knew I could tell him the truth, but considering they were all dead, it wouldn’t do any good as he couldn’t exactly kill them again. “I already told you.”
This is the End (Book 2): Not Dead Yet Page 3
