by Swann, Rylee
“Jesus fuck!”
I hold myself rigid until my cock twitches its last, and Jae licks and sucks up the last drops.
My chest heaving, I’m again reminded of what a remarkable woman I have. She comes to her feet, still trapped against the wall and me, and I have no intention of ever letting her go.
“My turn,” I manage to say while still trying to catch my breath.
“No.” She smiles and licks her lips. “I just had the appetizer. Maybe I’ll be dessert?”
I laugh and roll away from her to let the wall hold me up. She runs her hands up my abs and chest, a needful look in her eyes. “Hurry and dress before I change my mind and fill up on appetizers.”
With a groan, I gather my clothing as she does the same and then we head back downstairs, carrying the bottle of wine and glasses to where dinner awaits.
In a few minutes, she’s serving a feast good enough for gods and kings. Eggplant parmigiana with a side of saffron and shrimp linguine. I admire the dining room table settings—and her, always her—as she places a dish in front of me. My mouth waters. Maybe now is the right time to tell her about my parents. Maybe I can finally share this burden that I’ve been keeping to myself. I can trust her, I tell myself.
“Jae—”
“Johnny, please hold that thought. There’s something I want to say.” She bites her lip and I hold in a sigh. I can refuse her nothing after all this and keep my news to myself for a while longer. “Okay, first, I want to thank you for playing along with me today. I know how curious you are about this house and what’s going on.” She swallows hard and I drink more wine, in no immediate hurry. “Now that I’m a licensed realtor, I have access to my office’s exclusive listings. This is one of them.”
“But the furniture?” I’m confused. Jae is the expert in this area and I’m not one for watching HGTV.
“It’s called staging. You know, so people looking at the house can see how furniture fits in the rooms, and to make it homier. It helps to sell a property much better than an empty space.” She smiles, clearly pleased with herself and her new license. I nod in understanding. “Anyway, I umm… fell in love with this one and kinda thought that maybe… you know…”
“What, Jae?” I have a good idea where this is leading and my anger wakes and settles on a low boil. “Spill it,” I say in a dangerously low tone.
Sensing the shift in my mood, her mouth drops open. “It umm… well, I thought this could be our… you know, we’ve been seeing each other a long time…”
“And you thought you’d manipulate me into what you want?” I don’t intend to shout but it comes out louder than either of us expect.
Jae jumps, her forehead creasing, a look of dismay entering her eyes. “No, oh no, Johnny. That’s not what I meant. That’s not what I’m doing.” She holds out a hand to touch my arm but my anger boils over and I surge to my feet.
“No?” My tone is sarcastic. “You fucking blow me, serve an extravagant dinner and don’t tell me what this is all about until you think I’m pliable? Fuck! I think that’s the fucking definition of manipulation!”
Jae gasps. “No, please no. I just wanted tonight to be special. That’s all.”
I go on like she didn’t say anything. “Fuck! Everyone wants to control me. Dom, forever treating me like a baby… my parents—
“Your parents?” She looks completely baffled.
“Fucking Max at work. Well, I’m not a fucking kid. Not a goddamned child! No one treats me like a man! Not even you if tonight is an example. I’m done with being told what to fucking do.” I’m breathing hard, my hands clenching and unclenching. This explosion has been a long time coming. And, Jae of all people, has to be the one to set me off. “I am done! Do you hear me, Jae? Done! I am so fucking over this. This is over!”
I storm away from the table, grab my jacket and head out the door. As I slam it shut, I can hear Jae’s sobbing, calling to me.
Fuck.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jaelin
Oh my god.
I sit at the dining room table, too stunned to move.
What just happened? Did Johnny just break up with me? I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?
Oh my god.
What am I going to do?
Big, fat tears well in my eyes but, damnit! I’ve had enough. Simply had enough of being treated like shit. I’ve given my life to my boyfriends. My life, my heart, my soul, and each and every single one of them has dumped me. Some for no reason other than they were moving on to the next model.
And now Johnny too?
Maybe I went about having the where are we going? talk the wrong way.
Maybe.
But I was excited, believing that he and I were already on the same page. We’re exclusive, he agreed to taking my apartment key even though he doesn’t use it, and Dom said he’s never seen his brother happier.
Damnit! I thought Johnny really and truly loved me. I thought he’d finally be the one to ask me to marry him. I was so ready to say yes. I wanted to be given the chance to say yes.
Well, I’ve had enough.
More than enough!
I’m done too.
It’s time I stood up for myself. Stopped being a doormat to assholes. I’m an intelligent, desirable woman. Time to act like it.
Blinking back tears, I push away from the table and stand. I need a plan.
While I’m figuring out what it’ll be, I might as well clear away these dinner dishes. I’ve lost my appetite for a meal I wanted to end so differently.
I put everything into to-go containers. There’s no reason why all this food should go to waste. I do the dishes, dry them, and store them in my carry bag. I make sure that there is no trace of us left anywhere in the kitchen or the dining room. Then I go upstairs to remake the bed, grab the ice bucket and wipe away any water marks.
Back downstairs, I sit on the sofa and pull out my cell phone. I’ve come up with a plan of action and I have to put it into effect right now, this second, before I chicken out. Looking at the speed dial number I’m about to press, I take a deep breath and let her rip. It rings four times before a very familiar voice answers.
“Sweetheart, how you doin’?” My mom’s Southern accent sends a warm rush of love through me. I’m strengthened by it and know that I can deal with this. I’ll survive. “Your daddy and I were just gettin’ into bed. Somethin’ wrong, honey?”
“Oh, Mom…” I will myself not to tear up. I’ve done enough crying to last two lifetimes already. “Can you put Daddy on the extension? I only want to say this once.” I worked so hard to get rid of my Nashville accent and here I am falling right back into it by saying Daddy instead of Dad. I’m sure I’ll be dropping my g’s soon enough too.
“One sec. Samuel, pick up the phone! It’s Jaelin! Honey, you’re worryin’ me.”
Static prevents me from answering and then my father’s voice comes on the line.
“Jaelin, honey? What’s wrong? You tell me who I gotta beat up.”
“Aww, Daddy, it’s so good to hear your voice. You don’t have to beat anyone up. I’m okay. I just have some news is all.” I take a deep breath and plunge ahead before they can interrupt. “I’m coming home in a couple of days. I have to tie up some loose ends here and then I’ll be on a plane. I’ll get you the flight numbers and all that as soon as I have it. Can you put fresh sheets on my bed?”
“You’re comin’ home?” Mom’s voice thickens with emotion.
“For how long, honey? What ain’t you tellin’ us?” Leave it to my dad to cut right to the chase.
“For good. I’m coming home for good, I think.” Both of them gasp. “Johnny and I broke up and…” I force myself not to cry and just get through this. “I’ll be giving you a grandbaby in a few months. Isn’t that wonderful?” My voice rises to a squeak as emotion gets the better of me.
“Lawd have mercy. A baby. My baby’s havin’ a baby,” Mom cries.
“That lowdown sumbitch! I’ll k
ill him. I’ll get on a plane right now and kill that boy!”
“Daddy, no! That’s not why we broke up. He doesn’t even know about this. Please, I just wanna come home.” I grip the phone tight, willing them to understand.
“Oh, my baby girl, of course you’re comin’ home.” Mom sniffles. “We’ll take care of you, honey.”
“Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing. Your Momma and me, we’ll take good care of you.” He pauses, and I dread what might be coming next. “Why don’t he know?”
“It’s complicated, Daddy. Can we—”
“I ain’t no horse’s ass. You tell your daddy.”
“Okay, okay, sorry, Daddy. We broke up before I had a chance to tell him about the baby. Now, I don’t want him coming back only because of the baby. It wouldn’t be right. He has to want me.”
“That’s a load of horseshit. You’re tellin’ me—”
“Samuel, leave the child alone. We’ll all have a nice long chat when she gets here, right, baby?”
“Yes, Mom, of course,” I say, relieved that she’s rescued me from Daddy’s third degree.
He grunts, clearly dissatisfied, but stays quiet. For now. I know I’ll get an earful once I’m back home. It’s going to be a tough discussion but I’m finding that I don’t mind. It’s going to feel so damned good to have the pressure off for a little while. My parents will take care of me unconditionally, not counting the chores they’ll expect me to pitch in with.
Adulting is hard. It’ll be nice to take a vacation from it. The baby will be here all too soon and by then I’ll need to be set up in my own apartment and job in Nashville. It’s going to be a short vacation.
I can do this.
I just have to check what I’ll need to do to transfer my realtor license.
“Alright, sweetheart. I’m sure you got a lot to do. You’ll tell us the flight information as soon as you have it?”
“Of course, Mom. I figure I’ll know by tomorrow. I’ll call you either way.” My voice hitches. “Thank you. I love you both so much.”
“Oh, baby, we do too.” There’s tears in Mom’s voice and I swipe at an escaped tear of my own. “You rest easy now.”
We say our goodbyes and disconnect.
For a moment, I feel incredibly lonely. Pushing that aside to deal with later, I call the next person on my list, Cris. This one is going to be difficult too. It’s so hard to say goodbye. She’s done so much for me and has always been such a good friend. I’ll just have to make sure she visits. Often.
“Hey, Jae, what’s up?” Cris answers the phone with a perky, upbeat voice, but I know better. Underneath, she’s tired. She probably just finished wrestling the twins to bed.
“Cris, I’m sorry if I’m calling too late—”
“Half hour from now and it would have been.” She chuckles.
“Oh, good. I have some news and I didn’t want to wait to tell you.” My fingers tap a steady rhythm on my knee.
“Alright.” She draws the word out, caution in her tone.
“I’m going home, so I umm… guess this is sort of a goodbye call. I’m so sorry. I’m going to miss you so much. You have to come visit. All the time. My parents will babysit the twins. We’ll have fun. Nashville is a really nice town.” The words are flying out of my mouth in a steady stream and I almost don’t hear what Cris is trying to say.
“What? Slow down. Are you saying you’re going home for good?” I can almost see her mouth falling open. “Jae?”
“Sorry, Cris. This is all so hard to say. Yes, I’m going back to Nashville. I’m going to raise my baby there with my parents’ help.”
“But why?” She pauses and I give her a moment to put two and two together. “Johnny doesn’t want the baby?” she asks in a worried half whisper.
I sigh deeply, almost wishing that was the reason. “I never got a chance to tell him. I showed him the house I told you about and then at dinner, I started hinting around about wanting us to move forward in our relationship and he went crazy. He broke up with me.” A couple more tears escape but I’m proud of myself for how well I’m holding it together.
“Oh no, Jae. I’m so sorry.” Sadness fills her voice. “But I don’t get it. What did he say?”
“Like I said, he went crazy. Talking about manipulation. That everyone does that to him.” I reluctantly think back to his ravings. “Weird thing, he mentioned his parents. I don’t think he’s ever mentioned—”
“Hang on a sec, Jae. Dom is asking what happened.” I hear their muffled voices but can only make out a word here and there. I’m straining so hard to listen that when Cris comes back, I have to pull the phone away from my ear. “Jae, did you say he talked about his parents? Dom wants to know.”
“Yeah, he didn’t really say anything about them. He was rattling off a list of people who try to control him. It was so weird. I tried to ask him what he was talking about but he ignored me and stormed off a couple of minutes later.”
Suddenly, Dom’s voice is loud and clear and I jump in surprise. “I’ll talk to him—”
“Did you put me on speakerphone?”
“Yeah, I did. Sorry. Dom wanted to hear what you were saying about his brother.”
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m going home.” I gather all the determination I can. “My mind is made up.”
There’s another little conference that I can’t really hear then Cris comes back, having taken me off speakerphone. “Jae, where are you now? Do you need me to come stay with you tonight?”
“That’s so sweet of you to offer. But no, I’m okay, really. I’m still at the house but I’ll be going home soon.” I’m not exactly telling the truth about being okay. Devastating emotions are building up. I’m near breaking. “That reminds me. I need a really big favor.”
“Sure, Jae, anything,” Cris says without hesitation.
“Can you take care of my apartment for me? Maybe pack up some things and send them to me once I’m settled?” Dom owns the apartment so I thankfully won’t have to deal with a landlord about breaking a lease.
“Hmm, yes, if you’ll do a favor for me too.”
Oh no.
“Umm… what favor?”
“I’m thinking you have to talk to your boss about leaving. Can you please tell work that there’s a family emergency and you’re only taking a leave of absence?” Cris pleads.
I frown, not caring much for this idea. “I don’t—”
“Jae, listen to me,” Cris says over my protests. For a brief moment, I smile, remembering this same tone of voice when she told me years ago that I would stay at her place after my boyfriend kicked me out. I love this woman dearly. “He just broke up with you and you might not be thinking straight. I’m just asking for you to give yourself a way to come back if you want to. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say softly. I suppose it might be a good idea, but in truth I just don’t want to argue with Cris about it now.
“Good, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Try to get some sleep.”
“Yeah, I will.”
As we disconnect, intense loneliness overwhelms me. Frustrated and depressed, I make one final call for the night to have an Uber pick me up.
Gathering my things, I stop by the front door and place a hand on my stomach. I’m not really alone. I have a precious bun in the oven. An amazing gift that I’m going to help shape and develop so that my little miss or mister can have the best life possible.
A life better than mine. Isn’t that every parent’s wish?
Taking one last look to ensure I didn’t leave a mess anywhere, I leave the house behind.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Gian
I didn’t sleep at all last night after things went to shit with Jae.
Tossed and turned so much my bed looked like a couple of alligators wrestled in it.
Now, I’m bleary-eyed and pissed off in the back of an Uber that’s heading to my parents’ apartment. I would have preferred a café with strong coffee but when I called them earlier, t
hey refused to meet me anywhere.
I’ll admit, I’m hurting. Going to them might be a mistake, but right now I need a real parents experience. Maybe, just maybe, they can offer some advice, make me feel like I have parents to go to for once. I missed out on so much as a kid.
The ride is going to cost a small fortune but I didn’t have the patience to take the train and then the subway and then a taxi. They live in Far Rockaway, a slum on the Queens and Long Island border. A real boil on the ass of a pig.
I’ve been in more than a few street brawls in my younger days and can still handle myself but as the Uber flies by a multitude of unsavory characters and slum conditions, I feel less than safe, even in a moving vehicle.
Is this where I spent the first few years of my life? Is this what Dom pulled me out of after he’d escaped?
My mood turns all the blacker.
The driver pulls up to the tallest of four grayish apartment buildings that resemble a prison and announces that we’ve arrived at my destination. To my surprise, it’s prime real estate on the ocean, but the young men loitering on the corner look like they’d stab me in the back to steal my shoes. I want to ask the driver if he’s sure but the address on the entrance matches what my mother gave me. Thanking him and adding a generous tip to the cost of the ride, I walk with a confident stride that I don’t feel into the building.
Just inside the entrance there’s a raised desk where a security guard sits, to the left an elevator bank. I opt for the elevator.
The guard shouts, “Hey you! Visitors gotta sign in.” Frowning, he jabs with a finger to an open ledger on the desk. What a pleasant fellow.
“First time here,” I mutter while scribbling my name on the page. “This elevator go to building A?”
This time he grunts and jerks his head toward the elevator bank in question.
I don’t thank him but take the few steps to the elevator, push the Up button and wait. And wait. Finally, the elevator car arrives and shudders to a stop. The door opens slower than a snail in a coma and I step inside the foul-smelling thing. Fearing contagions, I stand directly in the middle of the box, not touching anything except the floor button. With a grimace, I wipe my finger on my shirt as it starts its slow crawl upward to the sixteenth floor.
