by Pelaam
Even if Nathan wasn’t there, Nicolas decided the walk to—and a look around—the conservatory would be healthier than eating whatever was due to be served up for lunch. As Nicolas approached the rear of the ship, he recognized the heat from the furnaces and knew he was on the right track.
A moment later, Nicolas had found the conservatory. He stepped inside, closed the door, and stared. The ship’s conservatory would be the envy of any large manor house. The lights were brighter here than anywhere else Nicolas had been on the ship and allowed him to stare into the green expanse.
Nicolas hadn’t known what to expect when he stepped through the doorway, but to seemingly be inside an actual conservatory took him totally by surprise. Instead of the metallic walls of other parts of the ship, colored glass was set within a polished copper framework.
Ferns and trees were part of the fauna, and for a moment, Nicolas could pretend he was back on Earth. There were raised beds of vegetables, pots of shrubs, flowers, even small trees, that stretched as far as Nicolas could see. He was certain it must have covered a good third, if not half, of the length of the ship.
“Nicolas! What are you doing here? Are you all right?” Nathan called out to Nicolas, appearing from beside a large tree whose branches reached up into metal pylons running parallel to the ceiling.
Nathan’s obvious concern touched Nicolas. “I’m fine. In fact, I was worried about you.”
“I prefer it here. Would you … um … would you care to join me?”
“Yes, indeed.” Nicolas would have agreed to stay even if he’d been meant to see Melbeck. To spend some time alone with Nathan was something to grasp with both hands and savor.
When Nicolas reached Nathan, the other man pointed down. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve created a little oasis of sorts here.” Nathan leaned close, dropping his voice as if an eavesdropper might be close. “Even the captain has walked past and not realized I was hidden just a few feet from him.”
“Sounds perfect.” The idea of a cozy nook out of sight of any other visitors to the conservatory was everything Nicolas could have hoped for. He followed Nathan, and sat down on an old blanket, in a small space and leaned back against the tree bole.
Although it was impossible to stand, the space was large enough to sit comfortably, and wide enough to lie stretched out. Nicolas didn’t miss a couple of ragged cushions that looked as if Nathan used them as pillows. Beside them was the tiffin tin and two tattered and clearly well-thumbed books. Nathan had made this oasis his sanctum sanctorum, and Nicolas’s heart ached.
“It looks as though you spend a lot of time here.”
“Yes.” Nathan’s shoulders slumped, and he gazed down at the blanket. “I feel safest here, even though I can lock my door. I’m so very lonely.”
“Not anymore.” Nicolas laid his hand over Nathan’s. “You can come to my workroom any time you like. I can work and talk at the same time. You could even help by handing me tools.”
“Really?” Nathan perked up instantly, then his expression fell. “I don’t know that Melbeck would approve.”
“Well, pop in and see me anyway. I get lonely, too. I’d like you to visit me.”
“You would?” Nathan’s smile warmed Nicolas’s soul and he nodded.
“Yes, I would.”
“Then I shall. So long as I make sure and do my other duties, there should be no reason for me to get into trouble.
Nicolas scowled, unseen by Nathan. If you do, I’ll be sure to take issue direct with Melbeck himself. Nicolas decided to steer the conversation away from Melbeck, and although part of him felt a fool asking, Nicolas trusted Nathan enough to huddle closer to him and whisper directly into his ear.
“Do you ever see anything, well … strange on the ship?”
“Strange? In what way?”
There was a definite change in Nathan’s tone, so Nicolas pushed down his embarrassment and forged ahead.
“Sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I think I’ve seen … something. Too small for a man, and … well, misshapen.”
“I mentioned it to Melbeck once.” Nathan shuddered, drawing his knees closer to his chest. “He beat me with a belt and said I was never to mention it again. To anyone.”
“Then I’m not imagining it, and I don’t believe in ghosts.” Nicolas slid an arm around Nathan’s shoulders, closing the last of the distance between them. “I won’t say anything. And if anyone touches you again, they’ll have me to deal with.”
When Nathan gazed up at him, Nicolas wasn’t surprised to see tears shimmering in the other man’s eyes. Although Nicolas’s life had become hard due to his father’s unexpected death and financial foolishness over his stocks, Nathan’s life was far worse. He wondered how any mother could allow her child to remain aboard a ship like Strawberry Fields or in the so-called care of a man like Melbeck.
A vision of his uncle flashed into Nicolas’s mind. Secundus and Melbeck were cast from the same mold as far as Nicolas was concerned. He smiled at Nathan.
“I’ll always be your friend. If you ever need me, come directly to my room and wait there if you cannot find me. You can even sleep with me, if you don’t want to be alone. I’ll sleep on the floor.”
Nicolas bit his lip hard enough to taste blood. He suddenly wondered if he’d said too much, or gone too far, but instead, Nathan’s eyes widened, before he buried his head into Nicolas’s shoulder.
From the way his slight body shook, Nicolas was certain Nathan was crying. Slowly, in case his touch wasn’t wanted, Nicolas gathered Nathan into an awkward hug, holding him gently, and resisting the urge to nuzzle into his hair.
When Nathan finally eased back, his smile was watery but genuine.
“Melbeck discourages anyone from talking to me. But I wouldn’t want to try to make a friend of any of the others who serve aboard this ship.”
“If you’re afraid he would keep us apart, come to my room when most of the crew are sleeping. I notice Melbeck dims the ship’s lights even more, as if we’re experiencing a night.”
“No one would take notice of me. They’re used to seeing me go between the conservatory and the galley taking vegetables or food back and forth. And so long as I’m not seen entering or leaving your room, I don’t think anyone would care.”
“I don’t know if Melbeck expects me to travel with him a second time. But I’ll take care of you as best I can while aboard Strawberry Fields.”
With a half-sob, Nathan twisted around to face Nicolas. “How will I cope with the emptiness and loneliness when you leave? But how could I ask anyone to stay?”
Without hesitation, Nicolas took Nathan into his arms, holding him close. Nathan smelled faintly of citrus, and Nicolas inhaled deeply, wanting to imprint the scent in his memory.
“If I can’t stay, I’ll find some way to take you with me.” It was a rash promise, and Nicolas knew it, but he fully intended to make good the vow. This ship was no place for a man like Nathan. No matter what, Nicolas was determined to find a way to free Nathan of Melbeck’s domination.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” Although Nathan said one thing, the yearning in his voice told Nicolas another.
“How about we share my room tonight? I’d feel happier and sleep better with you close. I sometimes feel the walls of the ship are closing in on me, and you seem so confident and at ease in these confines.” Nicolas hoped Nathan wouldn’t refuse, and his heart sank when Nathan shook his head.
“Don’t be afraid. The ship is perfectly safe. But it wouldn’t be safe enough for me to come to your room. Melbeck has keys to all the rooms on board the ship, and many don’t even lock.”
A wave of relief washed over Nicolas. He hadn’t overstepped the mark with Nathan and repulsed him. Nathan was only fearful of discovery.
“Leave that to me. I’ll find a way to make sure my room is secure. At least for tonight.”
“You … you’re sure you want me to share with you?” Nathan’s eyes opened wid
e, and Nicolas infused his smile with as much reassurance as he could.
“Yes. Very.” Nicolas nodded firmly.
“Then, yes. I’ll come to your room later. “
“Good. You don’t need to feel lonely while I’m here.” Nicolas gave Nathan a final hug. He couldn’t stay there any longer. The last thing he wanted now was to incur Melbeck’s wrath and have the man undo all he’d achieved with Nathan. “I’ll be in my workshop if you need me sooner, and I’ll wait for you in my room after supper.”
“I’ll be there. I promise.” Nathan nodded. “I’ll stay here a while. In case anyone sees you leaving.”
“Take care, Nathan.”
Nicolas returned to his workshop and applied himself to dealing with the mechanicals, telling one he’d named Rusty of his plans for looking after Nathan. He made a rare trip to the dining hall to have dinner, and even to take a couple of biscuits for his supper. Having skipped his lunch, Nicolas’s stomach had been growling loudly. Something he didn’t want when settling for the night with Nathan.
The time couldn’t pass quickly enough for Nicolas. As much as he liked working with the automatons, he constantly checked his pocket watch before finally leaving the workshop to go to his room.
The corridor leading to Nicolas’s room seemed dimmer than usual, and the hairs on his neck rose as the eerie sensation of cold pervaded him once more. Convinced there was someone close behind him, Nicolas whirled around, ready to defend himself.
No one.
The corridor was empty apart from himself. Nicolas was surprised he couldn’t hear his heartbeat as it thudded rapidly in his chest. But he did hear another sound, one that brought to Nicolas’s mind a dark, malicious chuckle.
“Who’s there? Who is it? Show yourself.” Nicolas took a step back toward the sound, then froze at a sibilant hiss. The corridor appeared darker as he looked toward the sound. Although not a man to scare easily, Nicolas turned on his heel and ran, eerie laughter following in his wake.
Once inside his room, Nicolas leaned against the door. The moment he caught his breath, Nicolas went to his bed, and reached under to draw out a blow torch, and a bolt. There was no other way to secure his door, and Nicolas didn’t care if Melbeck was angry.
After that night, Nicolas had decided to sleep in his workroom, which he could lock from the inside. He had no desire to walk the corridors of the ship at night—even if that night was an artificial construction by Melbeck lowering the ship’s light.
All he wanted for now was the added security that no one could just walk in. He’d intended to make the bolt on the door more robust, but now it didn’t matter. Once the bolt was soldered in place, Nicolas set the blow torch aside to cool. He’d replace it in the workroom the following day. Now he just needed to wait for Nathan.
Each minute felt like an hour as Nicolas counted them off. Finally, there was a tap on his door. Almost jumping to his feet, Nicolas hurried to open it and relief washed over him to see Nathan there.
“Come in.” Nicolas stepped aside, then closed and bolted the door.
“Where did you get that?” Nathan asked. “That door didn’t have a lock.”
“I put it there. It’s not particularly robust, but it’ll stop anyone just barging in.”
“Are you all right? You look a little pale.” Nathan came close and Nicolas shook his head.
“I had some kind of … of encounter on the way here. From tonight, I’ll sleep in the workroom. Come and sleep with me there. It’ll be safer. There’s something monstrous aboard this ship. I know it. I feel it.”
“I can’t disagree with you.” Nathan shuddered. “I’ve felt an evil presence many times. Sometimes, so close, I’m sure if I looked around it would be right there. But let’s not talk of it before bed. I’ll have nightmares, I’m sure.”
“The bed is yours. I’ll sleep on the floor.” Nicolas indicated the bed.
“No. That’s not fair. I should take the floor. Or … or we should at least share.”
The last words were gabbled so quickly that Nicolas wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly, but the flaming blush to Nathan’s cheeks assured Nicolas he wasn’t mistaken.
“Only if you’re certain. I’d gladly share. The bed isn’t overly-large, but if you go in by the wall, I can even hold on to you. If you’ll let me, of course.”
“Yes.” Nicolas didn’t miss the breathy quality to Nathan’s voice.
“Then it’s settled. You go first. I’ll get rid of my pants and jacket. Sleeping in one’s shirt seems the done thing.”
“I’m afraid so. Water’s too precious to waste on washing clothes. Um, some men … I believe … wear nothing.” Nathan’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“Seems practical enough.” Nicolas shrugged. He’d have no objection to a naked Nathan in his arms. “It must be nice not to be in the same clothing day and night.”
“Yes. I suppose it must.” Nathan inclined his head as if giving the idea consideration. “Well, if you want to wear less, it is your bed. My body isn’t as solid or manly as yours.”
“You do what makes you comfortable.” Nicolas pointed at the brace. “Surely you don’t wear it to bed?”
“Sometimes. It’s so cumbersome to put on and take off.” Nathan wrinkled his nose. “Truth be told, I hate it. It’s so heavy, I feel I walk better without it, but Melbeck won’t hear of it.”
“Let me help.” Nicolas knelt before Nathan and began to unfasten the brace. With a wheeze and hiss, the mechanism came free.
“Thank you, Nicolas.” Nathan turned around as Nicolas rose to his feet, unfastened the belt around his pants, and the worn garment immediately slithered to the floor. Nicolas tried not to stare at Nathan’s trim hips, pale buttocks, and lean legs, finally forcing himself to turn away as Nathan climbed onto the berth, still in his baggy over-shirt.
An idea struck Nicolas as he stripped down to just his shirt, Nicolas turned the lamp down to a tiny glimmer of light.
“Now that your leg is free of the contraption, allow me to massage it. Since I create mechanicals in the semblance of humans, I have a good knowledge of the human body. Your muscles will suffer for being in that brace. A firm massage will help with the blood flow.”
“Really? My leg does ache.” Nathan sat up, peering at his leg.
“Lie back.” Nicolas instructed as he came to kneel at the side of the berth. “Now, I don’t have any oil. That’s all in my workshop, but I should still be able to give a reasonable performance.” Nicolas made sure that the blanket covered the top of Nathan’s thigh, and started by running his hands up from Nathan’s ankle to the blanket and back again.
A barely-there sigh of appreciation reached Nicolas’s ears, and he resisted glancing up at Nathan, not wanting to embarrass the other man when things were going so well between them.
After a few minutes of running his hands up and down Nathan’s lower leg, Nicolas decided to add a foot massage into the mix. This time Nathan was unable to mute a deep groan as Nicolas worked the sole of his foot.
“I don’t want to tickle.” Nicolas was quite sure he hadn’t, but this was a polite way to make certain Nathan was enjoying the experience.
“No. Not tickles. I can’t believe something so simple could feel so good. Thank you so much, Nicolas. It all feels so much better.”
“Good. Then I shall do it again in the morning before you put that brace back on. You must come and see me so that I can service it for you.”
“I will. If I roll to face the wall, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of room for you.”
“Let me know if you’re too crushed.” As excited as Nicolas was to be so close to Nathan, his nervousness at ruining the moment served to prevent his prick from misbehaving. With deliberate care, Nicolas slowly eased into the bed. He snuggled tightly behind Nathan, delighted at the way the other man fitted so perfectly against him.
“Thank you. I feel much better like this.” Nicolas whispered directly into Nathan’s ear. He smiled as Nathan patted N
icolas’s hand where it lay casually on Nathan’s hip.
“If there’s one thing I don’t fear, it’s the dark. Especially like this. Sleep well, Nicolas.”
“You, too, Nathan.” With a deep sigh, Nicolas closed his eyes, and focused on Nathan’s breaths, slow, steady, and reassuring, letting them guide him safely to sleep.
Although Nicolas’s sleep was neither dream free nor undisturbed, each time he awoke Nathan seemed aware of his discomfort and snuggled closer. And so, Nicolas settled once more, contented by the thought that they were each able to offer comfort and assurance to the other.
Chapter Eleven
The sounding of the ship’s bells to alert the crew to rise was redundant for Nicolas. He was awake, lying on his back and gazing down at Nathan. At some point, Nathan had decided Nicolas’s chest made a good pillow, and Nicolas didn’t care in the least.
A small movement heralded Nathan waking. Not wanting Nathan to be embarrassed, Nicolas laid a hand on Nathan’s shoulder.
“Don’t rush, we shifted positions while we slept.”
“Am I lying on you?” Nathan shifted enough to look up at Nicolas, and Nicolas’s heart melted at the sight of a drowsy Nathan.
“Yes. But it’s fine. You aren’t heavy, and we both seemed to sleep well enough.”
“I slept better than I have since coming aboard this ship.” Nathan looked away, his voice dropping away to a barely-there whisper.
“As did I. You kept my fears at being surrounded by these metal walls at bay.”
“I did?” Nathan looked up again, his eyes bright.
“Yes. I’m still not happy about sleeping here. I’d rather sleep in my workshop. There isn’t a bed, but there is an old mattress.” Nicolas hoped he wasn’t moving too quickly. But having spent one night with Nathan in his arms, Nicolas wanted to spend more. “I thought we could sleep in there from now on. It’s a little more spacious, the lock is stronger, and I could really do with the sleep.”
