“I can now attest to the fact that Ollie is, in fact, a monster. A bear. Or maybe an ogre. I’m concerned for my safety. The man actually growls in his sleep.”
The last week had been nothing but cruel.
Being with her and not being able to touch her.
Trying to keep that promise that I needed to figure my shit out before I hurt her again.
She draped an arm around Jenna’s shoulders. Swore, two of them might have been twins separated at birth.
Lillith’s hawk eyes darted between us. Swore she could spot a rat from a hundred miles away. “So, how is the whole roommate thing going? Should I thank you for not killing my best friend yet?”
I glanced at Nikki for a flash before I set my palms on the bar and leaned toward Lillith. “Yet being the operative word.”
Rynna giggled. “Tell me she’s not as messy at your place as she is at Pepper’s Pies. I swear to goodness, that whirlwind leaves a trail of crumbs everywhere she goes like she’s leaving behind a distress call.”
Nikki’s mouth dropped open. “What in the world are you talkin’ about, Rynna? I bus those tables faster than all those kids you hired combined. I run circles around them.”
“Oh, so that explains the crop circles of bread crumbs scattered around the floor.”
“That’s it, I quit.”
Nikki was fighting a grin behind her overexaggerated pout. But there was no missing the way her sexy mouth twisted with affection.
“I’m just playing!” Rynna cried, rushing her friend and taking up her other side. “Don’t leave me yet. I might up and die. Don’t know what I’m going to do without you. Crumbs and all.”
“We’ll find someone awesome to take my place, don’t worry. I mean, hello, not as awesome, because we all know that would be totally impossible, but someone who will make do.”
Rynna pouted. “But I love you best.”
“I’m feeling totally left out here.” Hope pursed her lips where she was tucked against Kale.
Nikki reached out and waved her in. “Well, get in here then . . . we aren’t complete without you and Lillith.”
Hope didn’t even hesitate. She rushed into the circle.
Lillith rolled her eyes. “Are we seriously group-hugging in the middle of the bar?”
Nikki’s brows shot to the ceiling. “You know what they say, how are your friends going to know you love them if you’re not drunk at two a.m. on a Saturday night?”
Lillith glanced at the glittering diamond watch wrapped around her wrist, a gift from Broderick for her birthday. “Its nine, Nikki. Nine.”
“Semantics. Get your ass over here.”
From behind, Broderick gave her a tiny shove, his grin wolfish when she looked back at him. “Go on, baby. Get a little of that group love. That’s enough fantasies for an entire week.”
Nikki pointed at him. “Eww, Brody. Just no. Don’t you dare go there.”
Yeah. Don’t go there. And here I’d thought I liked the guy.
But Rex was shaking his head, Kale was chuckling, and the girls were standing and hugging and jumping and laughing as they swayed in this big huddle, and there was nothing I could do but grin right the hell along.
My chest tightened.
Sweet agony.
Because a piece was missing, and I’d give fucking anything for Sydney to be there. My mind flashed with what she might look like now.
Fourteen years gone.
Where she’d be in her life. If she’d be married. Have kids.
Or if she’d be living in some faraway city, chasing down a dream.
“Hey, boss,” Cece called from the other end of the bar, breaking into the thoughts that cut me down at the knees.
I jerked my attention that way.
So maybe Nikki had a few things right about Cece.
My head bartender was nothing short of a tattooed sex goddess.
Long, jet-black hair, the scraps she wore screaming seduction, almost as loud as the red painted on her lips.
Maybe it wasn’t so strange for Nikki to make assumptions about us. People would probably take one look at Cece and think her my perfect match.
Two of us cut from the same cloth.
Or maybe chipped from the same stone.
Truth was, I had never even had the urge.
Didn’t mean it didn’t bug the hell out of me that Nikki had brought it up. I hated the idea that she had ever felt an ounce of what I’d felt when I’d had to stomach looking at her with another man.
Wanted to dig my nails into my mind and claw all those images from my consciousness.
“What’s up?” I hollered, grateful for the distraction.
She cocked a wry grin, and the poor asshole sitting at the bar across from her was nothing but a puddle at her feet.
“Could use backup. Pack of f-boys, eleven o’clock.”
I laughed under my breath.
Only Cece.
Fuckboy.
Fratboy.
As far as she was concerned, that title was as interchangeable as the guy’s that held it were abhorrent. She slapped them with a “douche” label across their pretty-boy foreheads before they even had a chance to make it through rush week.
I rapped my fist on the counter, pointed at my friends. “Be right back.”
I moved to the opposite end of the bar, sliding in beside Cece to help her fill the beers for the rowdy table that was up close to the band.
Did my best not to cringe when I saw the guy who walked through the door.
Talk about a douche.
Matt Walker.
Asshole we’d all known since high school. Something about him festered right below my skin.
Oh, that was right.
Fucker had wanted to get his grimy hands on Nikki for just as long as I had known him.
Didn’t matter that he was all fitted, posh business suits and shiny fucking shoes to match his shiny fucking smile.
Asshole was slimy as fuck.
A weasel.
“You good?” I asked Cece when I’d finished helping her fill the huge order. Could feel the tether pulling me back that way. Toward Nikki who I knew would be the prick’s target.
Time and again.
She’d left with him once, a few years ago, and I’d about damned lost my mind.
Thought of it happening again had panic laying siege to my veins.
“Yep. Think we have it under control now. Let’s just hope they don’t eff up the rest of my night.”
The girl smirked, hip tossed out to the side.
My laugh was wry.
Wouldn’t want to tangle with that one.
I booked it back to my post.
Lillith had already spotted Matt, and she bumped her hip into Nikki’s to get her attention. “Oh, look who just walked in. It’s Make-Out Matt,” she sang like she didn’t know she was basically crushing me beneath her red-soled shoe.
Nikki’s gaze flashed to me.
Remorse and awareness and a lifetime of unanswered questions.
Where do we go from here?
Who are we?
Do I belong to you?
Most importantly, do you belong to me?
I gulped under the force of them, wanting nothing more than to reach out, touch her face. Maybe climb right the hell over this bar, take her in my arms, and kiss her in front of all our friends.
Claim her as mine.
She’d been a secret for so damned long. Problem was, I still didn’t know if I deserved to stand in her light.
Possession tearing through my senses, I watched as the prick made his way through the crowd like he had no real destination, no care in the world.
Still, it was obvious as hell he knew exactly what direction he was heading.
Lillith nudged Nikki with her elbow. “You should totally give him a chance, Nikki. That poor man has been salivating over you since the day he joined the track team your senior year just so he could watch your tits bounce when you ran.”
Nikki visibly pushed back the discomfort that surged between us and pinned one of those faked smiles on her mouth.
“Pssh . . .” Nikki stepped back and gestured at her chest.
I wiped my brow.
Why the fuck wasn’t the air conditioner on? I was dying in there.
“What tits? I’m as flat as Kansas,” she said, laughing and joking the way she’d done for all these years.
Images rushed. The girl on my couch. Her tit in my mouth. My hands on her body.
Need spun and licked and teased.
She had no fucking clue just how perfect they were, peaking below that satiny material. Nikki’s own personal form of harassment.
“Matt seems to be just fine with that.” Rynna nodded emphatically.
Great. That was all I needed.
Nikki had yet another meddler urging her along, not that Rynna could have a clue.
I glared between Rex and Kale.
Where was my crew when I needed them most?
Did they not see this bullshit?
I mean, I know I’d taken responsibility for Nikki’s well-being. But there were times when good friends should step in.
Like when a douche tried to make his way into territory he didn’t belong.
Fuck that.
Rex met my eyes, narrowing his, studying me as he took a swig of his beer.
Did he have any idea? All that time Nikki and I had been sneaking around, hiding away, hoping Rex and Kale would be enough of a distraction that Sydney wouldn’t notice. Guess I hadn’t given it all that much thought as to if they had.
Hope landed a bunch of excited smacks against Nikki’s arm, her eyes wide and her lips barely moving, like she thought she was telling a secret that she was actually issuing to the world. “Oh, oh, don’t look behind you . . . but he’s coming this way. Oh, wow, he really is good-looking.”
“Hey,” Kale defended.
Now the asshole has something to say.
She looked up at her husband, her red hair moving over her shoulders. “Oh, Cowboy . . . I was talking about for Nikki. Don’t get your britches in a twist.”
He leaned down, rubbing his nose against hers. “Cowboy? I’m your king, baby.”
Had to resist from balling up a dish rag and throwing it against the side of his face.
Yeah, this was not gonna end well.
Because my guts were churning when Matt, the fucker, came up to the bar just behind where Nikki stood.
He grinned at me like we were the oldest of mates. “Hey, man.” Still standing, he leaned his forearms on the bar. “How’s it going?”
Fan-fucking-tastic, that’s how.
“Good,” I rumbled. I tossed a napkin down in front of him. “What can I get you?”
How about the door?
“Whatever’s on tap.”
Everything’s on tap, asshole.
But I didn’t say anything, I just filled up a chilled mug with a light.
Figured that was all the pussy could handle.
I smiled at him when I slid it across the bar.
All teeth.
“Thanks, brother,” he said like he didn’t even notice I was five seconds from ripping him to shreds.
He lifted it in the air before he took a big swallow.
“Sure thing.”
He was grinning when he moved into the circle, going right for her. “Hey, Nikki. It’s good to see you.”
She peeked my way.
A flash of indigo.
A glimpse of the freckles on her defined cheeks.
My chest tightened.
She offered him a small smile. “Hi, Matt. How have you been?”
“Good, good,” he said. “Work’s busy, but other than that, I can’t complain. You?”
“Same here.”
Seemed like so many lies fell from her mouth with that simple statement.
Like all this bullshit wasn’t going down in her life.
This was brutal, watching them chat like every word wasn’t killing me.
I was a hot second from losing my cool. Turned out it was Nikki who was getting ready to do all the shredding, and the girl didn’t even have to lift a finger.
Our friends had turned to each other, talking quietly, giving them space, while I scrubbed at the bar with a rag and tried to pretend like it wasn’t any of my business.
Didn’t matter.
The turn in Nikki and Matt’s conversation hit me like a loudspeaker screaming in my ear.
“Band’s good tonight. You want to dance?” Matt asked.
Of course, that was when Lillith found it fit to pipe in. She all but shoved Nikki his direction. “Sure, she does.”
There was no missing the resistance that lined Nikki’s posture when Lily pushed her that way, the way her shoulders went up and her shoes slid across the floor.
An inch, and then two.
Enough to make my mind tip to the side. Axis creaking. Threatening to crack.
Nikki peeked back at me.
Was that an apology or her own anger and frustration, her spirit screaming out that I was responsible for this?
I’d known all along that one day . . . one day she’d move on.
Find joy.
A husband and a family and a load of kids, exactly what she deserved.
The way she’d dreamed about growing up.
How many kids are we gonna have?” she’d whispered when she was just fifteen, laying on a bed of blazing stars, nestled on my chest as we’d looked up at the night sky.
“Three. One little girl with your eyes and two boys just like me.”
She giggled. “I don’t think I could handle three of you.”
It was what I’d wanted for her even though the thought destroyed something inside of me.
Of her finding that with someone other than me.
Then I’d gone and ruined every chance she’d had. Chased off every guy. Certain they weren’t good enough for her.
Amusement was suddenly in her smile, wry as her gaze moved across all the girls, then she turned back to Matt. “Actually, all my friends would like to dance.”
Another warning in her expression when she looked back at them. “Wouldn’t they?”
She spun around, facing them as she backed away and waved for them to follow. The girl was wearing this short, frilly skirt and a silky tank, heels on her feet making her legs look like they were a mile long.
Everything about her was exotic and still as comfortable and down to earth as a home-cooked meal.
Yeah.
I wanted to fucking eat her.
Devour every inch.
Jenna clapped in excitement, while Hope passed her drink off to Kale, pecking him on the lips before she rushed to join them.
Lillith? Lillith hit me with a smirk as she let go of Broderick’s hand and then followed Hope.
Swore to God, the world was against me.
Cursed.
They edged into the thick, pushing through the raving throng. Bodies surged and swayed and pulsed. They all made their way to the dance floor at the base of the elevated stage.
Nearly choked when Matt edged up to Nikki from behind and tugged her against his chest.
In the roiling crowd, she was facing me when he splayed his hand across her belly.
From across the space, those mesmerizing eyes, so odd of a color you could vanish in the depths, tangled with mine.
Hypnotizing.
A motherfucking spell.
Black fucking magic.
That was what she was.
Rage blew in like a bleak, black storm.
Rex looked that way before he turned back to me with a grumbled laugh. “You’re so fucked, dude.”
I wiped at the bar, so hard I was pretty sure it was rubbing off the glossy stain.
Stripping it down to bare bones.
That was exactly what I felt like.
Bare bones.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I gritted.
He shared a look with
Kale before he turned back to me. “If you saw your face right now, you’d know exactly what that means.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You still gonna stand there and deny it after all this time?”
Unease rippled through me. Maybe he really had had a clue. “Deny what?”
Disappointment came out with the shake of his head before he tipped back his beer and drained the bottle. He stood and slammed the empty on the bar. “Think I’m gonna go claim my girl before some poor, unknowing bastard has to die trying. Someone else here might want to do the same.”
And he wasn’t looking at Kale or Broderick when he said it.
24
Nikki
Chaos drummed through the air. I felt caught up in it.
Elevated and lost.
My feet not quite touching the ground. Held by the sapphire gaze that ravaged me from across the space.
Intense, fierce, and blistering.
Torment and need and possession.
Crash after crash.
Matt slipped his hand around my waist and pulled me flush against his body.
A shudder ripped free of my lungs. It wasn’t even close to being elicited by Matt’s touch. It was because the only thing I could feel was Ollie covering me.
I didn’t even have to close my eyes to imagine the man was touching me everywhere, the sensation of his hands from last weekend still alive and vibrant.
Sizzling across my flesh.
Turmoil played across Ollie’s striking face.
It was possessive and wild, and still, incredibly sad.
Unable to remain upright under the severity of it, I tore myself out of Matt’s hold and whirled around to face him, turning my back to Ollie because I no longer knew how to stand beneath it all.
The sorrow and the regret and the need.
In the throbbing crush, I struggled to maintain balance where my friends danced around me as if they couldn’t feel the quake of the earth that rocked beneath my feet.
Dim lights were at one with the smoky fog that twisted and twined in the air, the bar nothing but a dizzying haze.
Bodies pulsed, a mass that toiled in the hypnotic beat.
Matt slanted me a smile, what he thought was seduction carved out on his face, and my stomach turned.
I didn’t want this.
Lead Me Home: A Fight for Me Stand-Alone Novel Page 23
