“These are supposed to open me up little by little. I’m at about this point…”
I picked up one that was about three inches long.
“After all these years, I haven’t been able to get past this one.”
“Okay…” James said as he tried to soak up all the info I’d dumped on him. I figured it would take some processing.
“Mrs. Rebecca took me to the doctor when she found out I still hadn’t had my period. She thought it was odd and wanted to make sure nothing was wrong with me. Turns out…there is.”
“So you can’t have a period?” James asked.
“Nope. No baby for me.”
I’d joked about it with myself so much, or tried to make peace with it is probably a better way to put it, but saying it out loud still saddened me. I tried to pretend I was one of those badass chicks who couldn’t see space in her life for a baby. That was the mindset I maintained, the bullshit story I told myself, but it wasn’t the truth. I’d spent my whole childhood thinking I wasn’t normal, that I was much more than that, and then once I found out about my problem, I wished more than ever I could be as normal and average as everyone else.
“So…” I said as I slapped my hands down onto the bed, declaring my intent to speed up the rest of the conversation. “Mrs. Rebecca wanted us to fuck ‘cause she thought that, I don’t know, that you might somehow miraculously open me up and make me normal.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Don’t be,” I replied. “That’s the past.”
“So you can’t have sex?” he asked.
I laughed.
Boys. It truly is all that’s on their minds.
“I can,” I said. “But not the traditional way.”
“The traditional way?” he said, confused.
I slapped my own ass over the towel and said, “Not traditional.”
Suddenly he got it and burst out laughing.
“Ohhhhh,” he called out. “Oh man. Hmm. Okay.”
“Freaked out?” I asked.
“Not a bit,” he said. “I promise. It’s all a bit surprising but I’m not freaked out at all. I meant it when I said I love you. You’re complex as hell. You always have been. You’re like a very pretty Rubik’s Cube.”
“So many colors,” I admitted.
He downed his whole glass and it was a lot.
“Holy shit!” he yelled. “Wow. How much did you pour in there?”
I’d just taken a drink and nearly spit mine out with laughter.
“You weren’t supposed to drink it all!”
“My God,” he said through teary eyes. “That was way more whiskey than any person should drink in one shot.”
“Don’t be a little bitch,” I teased.
“I need a chaser,” he said.
That’s when I shoved my lips against his and went all in. There’d be no backing down this time. His mouth opened up to me and he pressed hard in return, grabbing the back of my head and digging his hand into my hair, massaging my scalp as he cradled me there in his grasp. Neither of us was drunk, but I suppose the alcohol had loosened us both up a bit.
His body moved first, climbing over mine as he pushed me against the heavy decorative pillows at my headboard. He pulled away from my kiss only long enough to grab one of the pillows and throw it at the light switch a few feet away. The light turned off but it was never fully dark in my bedroom, not with the blinds open and the flickering neon light of the Chinese restaurant across from my place bathing us in its blinking pink and blue glow.
Both my fists closed around the loose bottom of his shirt and I pulled up, watching through the faint light as each tattoo on his stomach and chest was revealed slowly. A bird of some sort, some lettering, an ancient mask…and buried beneath all that ink was the outline of his abs and his chiseled pecs. He took over in pulling off his shirt and tossed it to the floor. He stopped there, and I knew he was wondering how far I’d let this go. I was always the one stopping things, turning him away, pushing him aside…but not this time.
I bit my lip and looked into his eyes as my hands went to his belt, loosened it, and pulled it off. I took it in my left hand and swung it over his head so it could wrap around his neck, where I grabbed the other end in the same hand and held him there, locked in my left fist, while my right yanked hard on his button and zipper.
James allowed me to pull him back to my mouth while I felt his hands help me with his pants. Shortly after, his jeans were gone, and his cock was in my right hand. All that separated our naked bodies was a towel. His cock was heavy in my hand, wider than my last boyfriend’s, and he was already hard. I’d been with guys before who didn’t get hard right away so feeling James so stiff in my hand was flattering and sexy as hell. He wanted me. Even after all I’d told him, he was still excited to be with me.
With the belt firmly in my hand, I pulled back, making his head rise up so that he was looking at the ceiling, and I once again admired his powerful body. I’d seen him so many times that I’d begun to think of him as hot but that was about it. This time, I traced every groove with my eyes until I couldn’t stand it anymore and I lifted my head to put my mouth on his chest. His nipple was hard in my mouth, so I bit it.
“Oh, Nikki,” he said.
My hand relaxed and the belt fell from my hand, lost somewhere on the bed or on the floor. This time, he took control, and found the end of the towel tucked firmly into the space between my tits. He pulled it free gently and unfolded the towel as if he were unwrapping a gift he’d waited for all his life.
“James,” I said. “I want you.”
He smiled and cocked an eyebrow. It was like I’d yanked the chord on a chainsaw and made his engine roar to life. He looked down at my tits, seeing them like this for the first time. He cupped his right hand under my left tit and pulled it to his mouth, taking my nipple in his lips and holding it there so his tongue could circle it. I’ve heard some girls say nipple play does nothing for them. But it definitely does something for me. My legs couldn’t find his waist quickly enough. He needed to know that he’d started something he better fucking finish. I crossed my feet at the small of his back and pulled his body into me.
His big left hand grabbed my left wrist, then reached over and found my right, clutching them both in his fingers as he proceeded to pin my hands above my head in a handcuff like grip. He used his other hand to pry my legs from around his waist and then scooted out from between my legs and palmed my pussy. He went back and forth teasing both my tits. First he lashed out at my left, then he slid over to my right, all while pushing down against my clit.
I felt him kick his body out so his legs were flat on the mattress and he’d be able to get to my pussy easier. He let go of my wrists and teased my left tit with one while he kept his other hand against my clit. His mouth moved so close to my pussy that I could feel his hot breath blowing against my lips.
Desperately, I lifted my head so I could get a glimpse of the gorgeous hunk about to dig into my pussy. He stopped and looked back at me. He tilted his head to the right and nodded over at the trimmed mound between my legs.
“It’s okay,” I promised.
“Can you feel something there?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked. “James…if you don’t eat my pussy I’m going to kick you out the fucking window!”
He laughed and planted his mouth right where I wanted it to be. The stubble of his chin touched the tender spot at my inner thigh while his mouth kissed my pussy lips softly at first but then more strongly as I reached down and grabbed his hair. I dug my fingernails into his scalp and pushed in, forcing his face into my pussy. I wanted to come and that was something I could definitely still do.
“Yes,” I said.
Any hesitation he might’ve had before had clearly faded away. He let go of my tit and slid his body around so he was between my legs, face still there at my pussy, his tongue lifting my right lip and licking along the inside. Then his tongue moved to the left, then ri
ght up the middle until he had my clit in his mouth. He fucked my pussy so hard with his mouth that I screamed. No exaggeration. I opened my mouth, fought for air for a second, found it, and then fucking screamed into the air.
“Ohhhhh hooooo fuuuuuuck!”
When a man truly enjoys what he’s doing, it makes all the difference, and I had no doubt James was loving the taste of me. He moaned into my pussy, letting me know it was where he wanted to be. I lifted my pussy up into his face and he took much more than the hint I was giving. He slid down and found my taint, that sweet spot between the pussy and the asshole, and kissed me there, sucking on the skin as hard as he could before widening his tongue and giving me long licks. James was so confident and so calm and so close to my asshole. I knew he’d lick it if I allowed him to but to do that would mean I couldn’t kiss him anymore. One tug on his hair and he slid back up to shove his tongue deep inside my pussy lips.
I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. I loved this man. Holy shit, I fucking loved this man. I grabbed his arm.
“I wanna be on top,” I said.
He rolled over and lay on his back. I reached to my nightstand drawer to get my lube and showed it to him. I wanted him to know what I was about to give him. He needed to understand. He smiled up at me and I knew I should continue. I squirted the lube into my hand and reached back to wipe it on my ass. Then I wrapped my fist around his cock and stroked it a few times, making sure to slather his head.
Then I slid a leg over him and straddled him, rising up the way any girl might when she’s about to ride her man. Most guys immediately want to jump into doggy style when taking a girl’s ass, and I’m not going to say that doesn’t feel good, but that wouldn’t be right with him. I wanted to see him, to let him watch me, to see his naked body and let him see mine. It was something we could share. More than that, I wanted him to know that he could fuck me like other women. He could fuck me in almost all the same positions.
The hardest thing about growing up with my issue was always feeling different. It fucked me up in the head for a while. I didn’t have sex for the first time until I was twenty-two. But once I realized how pleasurable anal sex could be, there was no stopping me. What I still hadn’t felt in all my failed relationships, was normal. I wanted to feel normal and loved. Somehow I knew James could give me that.
So I lined my asshole up with the head of his cock, and lowered enough to allow his head to enter.
“Mmm,” I moaned.
The pressure is always the hardest part to work through. After that is some pain. Then it’s all pleasure.
“Fuck,” he said. “You’re fucking tight.”
“Just hold on,” I said.
I lowered a little more and when I felt him raise his hips, I gave him a light slap. He needed to be gentle…at first. I lowered more and more until it felt right, and then I was fucking him like I imagined a girl would with her pussy. At least that’s the way it looked in porn. I took his cock, balls deep, in my ass.
“Oh my God,” he said.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Fuck me, James,” I said. “Fuck me, please.”
He lifted his hips again and this time I let him.
“You are so damn beautiful,” he said as he watched me roll my hips and slide forward, grinding my clit against him.
There beneath me, he made faces I adored. He winced each time his cock plunged deep into me and he smiled each time I let up, then he winced again and smiled. Riding James was so fucking hot that even in my air conditioned room, I felt my temperature rising and sweat beading on my forehead and chest.
Yes, fuck me like I’m a normal girl. Fuck me, James. Finally. I’m yours. I’m a regular girl. Fuck me like a regular girl.
“I love you,” he reminded me.
“Then fuck me like you love me,” I said.
With that, he pulled me off him and laid me down. This time, he reached for the lube and repeated my earlier actions, coating us both. From behind, he spooned me, sliding his cock into my ass easily this time and at the same time, turning my face to his so he could kiss me.
James did everything perfect. His cock pumped away at me from behind while his hand snaked around and found my clit. He tapped at my clit with two fingers and then rubbed gently at it, using some of the lube that was apparently still on his hand to work my clit in a way that burned and felt so fucking good I knew it would be a matter of seconds before I was coming. I was close.
Oh my God. I’m close. I’m so fucking close. God, his cock is good. Why did I wait so long for this? He’s spooning me. He loves me.
He rolled onto his back, putting me once again on top, but this time he grabbed my legs and held me there, my back to his chest, where he could fuck my ass in a way that even I hadn’t ever attempted. I clenched his arms and held on as he curled me up in a ball, like I was about to do a cannonball into a pool, and held my ankles like handlebars. There, in this tight package, he hammered my asshole in a heated frenzy. His balls smacked against me as he fucked me like he couldn’t get enough.
Yes, baby. Fuck me. Fuck me like you need me. Fuck me like you’d fuck any other girl. I’m yours.
I couldn’t remain still any longer. I fought to free myself from his hands and let my feet fall back to the mattress where I rose up to lean forward, fucking him reverse cowgirl, his cock inside me while I held the mattress in one hand and his balls in the other.
We were like a fucked up puzzle of sexual bliss, turning and twisting every way we could that would give him access to my ass. In the end, we reverted to good ol’ doggy style and I have to admit, as good as all the other stuff was. There was something special about having James behind me, his cock slamming into me while I dripped sweat and my tits shook with each thrust.
My orgasm built up inside me somewhere. It started behind my eyelids and I couldn’t keep my eyes open through it. Then it drained down into my face, feeling like hot water that was rolling through my entire body. It reached my neck and split off in two streams that ran through each arm and into my chest and into my stomach and down both legs before it finally sent the finest fucking cramp imaginable into my pussy.
“Ooooooh Fuuuuuck!” I yelled. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Please…please…don’t fucking stop.”
He didn’t stop. He picked up the pace instead, fucking me so hard and so fast I couldn’t speak. I tried to but my voice came out in pieces. James gave me fragmented fuck voice.
“Yes…like…oh…don’t…ev…er…st…op…fuck…ing…me!”
“I’m gonna come!” he announced.
“Yes!” I yelled out with a voice that might’ve sounded too excited. “Come!”
He might as well join me since I still hadn’t stopped. My legs locked and my face fell into my pillow as he gripped my thighs and fucked me into silence. His cock jerked inside me, pulsating as it unloaded. I clenched my cheeks to try and squeeze him tighter as he let it loose. He grunted and moaned and sighed through it and then collapsed onto my back. I didn’t want to pull away from him but once he started to go soft inside me, I knew I might as well.
James collapsed onto his back on my bed with his softening cock lying on his leg. I lay next to him with my head on his chest and one leg over his. Being next to him like this felt so natural. So real. So meant to be. For once, it all felt right. My usual yearning to get out of bed quickly and shower didn’t bother me. I was content there in bed with James.
“Holy shit,” he said. “You’re amazing.”
“Glad you think so,” I said.
“I guess that means you took my virginity,” he said.
That one sat in silence for a moment as I tried to understand what he meant. Obviously, he wasn’t a virgin.
Wait. He doesn’t mean…
“You’ve never…” I started.
“No,” he said. “Believe it or not, even with all the wild chicks I’ve dated, I’ve never been with a girl willing to try it. I breached the subject a few times but was alwa
ys shot down. Except for this one girl, a gothic chick I tattooed once. She told me she’s only willing to give up the back door when the guy is willing to let her do him too. She had a strap-on this fucking big.”
I looked up into his face where he was holding his hands up in front of him, about ten inches apart. The scared look on his face brought me to tears. I couldn’t stop laughing.
“So I didn’t get to do it that time either,” he said through laughter.
“I took your virginity,” I said proudly.
That night, I slept better than I had in as long as I could remember. I passed out with James at my back, spooning me, the wall alternating between blue and pink lights since neither of us was willing, or able, to get up and close the blinds. But that was perfectly fine by me. For once in my life, being spooned felt great.
Waking up with James by my side was even better. I don’t know how long he’d spent watching me, but when I opened my eyes, he was lying on his side, staring at me. There was a tenderness in his eyes that I’d never seen before. He watched me with the amusement I remembered from his youth. I adored him for the way he understood my fragility and I loved him for his ability to embrace it.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
“Soaking you up,” he said. “All of you. God, you’re stunning.”
My hands shot to my face where I hid behind them, bashful in the way I imagine only a woman who’s never been given so much undivided attention might feel. Being naked next to him left me feeling exposed, but his ability to look at me on a deeper level made me feel even more vulnerable. Yet, I still didn’t feel the need to run away. I just needed a moment to come to terms with what James represented. Companionship. Someone I could be my true self with. That’s what he had to offer.
“Let’s go get breakfast or coffee or…” he started. “…I don’t know. I wanna be with you. Let’s go eat and come back and sleep some more. I don’t care where I go today or what I do as long as it’s with you. Fuck the rest of the world.”
“I guess I could use a little energy,” I said, giggling at the thought of spending the rest of the day like this.
Quills and Daggers - A Second Chance at Love Romance: The Collective - Season 1, Episode 5 Page 13
