My heart wrenched painfully in my chest. I already missed the hell out of Ellie and I’d only seen her last night. Would I ever see her again? She made it very clear she wanted more than I could give her. How was I ever going to prove to her I could be the man she needed? I wanted to be worthy of her. So fucking much. She deserved everything.
You’re not worthy though. You’re pathetic.
I clenched a fist. When was this going to end? This constant feeling as though I wasn’t good enough. I tried so hard to be a good person. To do the right thing. Why was it never enough? Why couldn’t I have what I wanted for once in my life? Why couldn’t I be happy like everyone else around me?
I didn’t feel much like walking any further with all this shit running through my head. Instead, I ducked into a coffee shop and bought myself one of those ridiculously sugary iced coffees with caramel syrup. It was still warm out.
“Aww, are you a single dad?” the barista asked me whilst I waited for my drink.
“Um, no, she’s my friend’s baby.”
I swear her grin was about to split her face in two. What was it with women and men with babies? Now I knew what Aiden felt like when my sisters kept eying him up at my birthday party. He told me it was fucking annoying. Once he’d been out at the park with Afie and some woman had started hitting on him to the point where he had to politely excuse himself and take Afie home early. I’d pissed myself laughing at the time, but now I felt sorry for him.
“Oh my god, my friends would never do that for me if I had a baby.”
I shrugged, feeling incredibly uncomfortable by her staring at me like I was a plate of cheesecake she wanted to devour. As soon as my coffee was ready, I snatched it up, mumbling ‘thank you’ before moving swiftly away from the two baristas giggling over me and the baby.
I sat by the window with Afie sleeping soundly as I stroked her little head absentmindedly whilst sipping at my coffee through a straw. Tugging my phone out, I snapped a selfie of me and the baby. The person I wanted to send it to was Ellie, but that was a no go, so I opted for Gertie instead.
ME: Check out golden boy’s new accessory. Aren’t you proud?
A few minutes later I had a response.
GERTIE: What the fuck? Is Avery with you?
ME: Nope.
GERTIE: Did you kidnap her?
ME: I love how you immediately assume wrongdoing on my part.
The next thing I knew she was ringing me.
“No but seriously, James, did you kidnap Afie?” she asked before I could even say hello.
“That’s no way to greet someone.”
“James, I swear to god.”
“No, of course I haven’t kidnapped my goddaughter, are you crazy?”
Sometimes I wondered at Gertie. She gave me far too much shit. Admittedly I gave it back, but some days she really fucking had it out for me. I hadn’t done anything so god knows why.
“Then why do you have her?”
“Mostly because her parents needed some alone time.”
“What? Avery asked you to take the baby so she could fuck Aiden?”
“Honestly, it’s all sex with you, isn’t it?”
I shook my head. I wondered how Tillie put up with Gertie’s shit. She was the most sex crazed individual I’d ever met.
“What else is there to life but being given a good seeing to?”
I grimaced at the mental image of Tillie fucking her with a strap on that decided to grace my brain.
Um gross.
“A lot of things. And no, she didn’t. I offered to take Afie so those two could have it out.”
Gertie was quiet for a long moment.
“They’re fighting?”
“Yes dipstick, they’re fighting. They’re struggling with being parents for the first time, which you would know if you stopped thinking with your pussy for five minutes and started actually asking our friend how her marriage is doing.”
“Fuck.”
This is why Avery came to me when she was struggling. We both loved Gertie to pieces, but she was useless when it came to talking about real life problems.
“Yeah, fuck indeed.”
“I’m a shit friend.”
“I’ve not been any better to be honest.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I sighed, looking down at Afie. She was still fast asleep, her fingers curled around the sling.
“She didn’t tell you?”
“No, Avery has been in mummy mode for months. All she talks about is Afie.”
“Well let’s just say I’ve been too busy dealing with my own shit instead of being there for her and she thinks I’m avoiding her. I was going to talk to her about it today but now she’s got issues with Aiden so I thought it was better to let them hash it out.”
She sighed. I looked outside the window, watching two teenagers sloping along the pavement and remembering when the three of us had been that young. Long before all the shit between Avery and me went down. I missed those days because life was less complicated then. I mean it was complicated because my dad was a piece of shit who constantly put me down and made me feel worthless, but I’d dealt with that most of my life.
“We need to have a lunch date. Just the three of us, no Tillie, Aiden or Afie, so we can all catch up. It’s been too long.”
“Yeah… we do.”
My phone started vibrating in my hand, indicating I had another call coming through. I pulled it away from my ear to check who it was.
Ellie.
My heart thudded in my chest. Hurriedly putting the phone back to my ear, I said, “Gertie, I have another call. It’s important. I’m sorry, I need to go.”
I hung up on her without letting her say anything and answered Ellie.
“Hello?”
“James…”
Her voice sounded so faint.
“Ellie, what’s wrong?”
“I…” She coughed twice. “I…I need you.”
I stood up abruptly, picking up my iced coffee and walking out.
“Where are you? What’s wrong?”
“H…Home… please, hu…hurry.”
What the hell was going on with her?
“What happened?”
“Please…”
The line went dead. I pulled the phone away from my ear. Was there any point trying to call her back? She asked me to hurry. There was no fucking time. I was about to run up the road when I remembered I still had Afie strapped to me and she was napping. Walking quickly instead, I dumped the coffee in a bin whilst making my way back to Aiden and Avery’s flat.
When I got there, I held down the intercom for the longest time until the door buzzed. I got in and kept pressing down on the lift button until the doors opened. When I got out on their floor, Avery already had the door open and had a worried expression on her face.
“Is she okay? What’s wrong?”
“She’s still asleep, it’s not Afie… I need… I have to go.”
I reached her and she looked up at me with wide eyes.
“Why?”
“My friend… she’s in trouble. I need… please, Avery, you have to take her. I’m sorry.”
I was frantically trying to work out how the hell I got this bloody sling off me whilst Avery stood there looking confused.
“What friend?”
“For fuck’s sake, I don’t have time to explain, please, take your daughter.”
“What’s going on?” Aiden said, poking his head out of the door with a frown.
“I need to go. My friend is in trouble, please, I don’t know how to get this off me.”
Avery wasn’t moving so he walked around her and helped me out of the sling, taking Afie and giving her to Avery. He didn’t exactly look happy, but I didn’t think it was directed at me.
“I’m sorry, I really am.”
I backed away, giving them both an apologetic look.
�
��What the fuck, Avery? Didn’t you hear what he said? Why didn’t you take her?” Aiden said as I turned and walked towards the stairwell because I was fucking done waiting for the lift.
“Don’t you start with me.”
“Oh, I’ll fucking start with you.”
I didn’t hear any more, shoving open the stairwell door and taking the stairs two by two. As soon as I reached the basement, I legged it to my Mini and got in. This had to be the worst possible timing, but I couldn’t fix whatever was going on in their marriage. All I could think about was getting to Ellie. She’d called me. She needed me.
I drove like a fucking madman, cursing at all the weekend drivers and tourists out in force on a Sunday. Honestly, I fucking hated driving in the city when you were trying to get somewhere fast but needs must.
As soon as I pulled up in the carpark outside Ellie’s block of flats, I jumped out and locked my car. I strode over to the front door and pressed down on the intercom for her flat. There was no answer so I tried again. Could she not come to the intercom? What happened to her? I had a really bad feeling in my stomach.
It was lucky someone was coming down the stairs because as soon as they opened the front door, I slipped in. They didn’t even say anything to me, which just went to show this wasn’t the best area for her to live in. I ran up the stairs to her floor and banged on her front door. Again, there was no answer.
“Ellie?”
I knocked again, but there was nothing. When I tried the handle, it opened. I walked in, looking around for her in the tiny flat, but she was nowhere to be seen.
“Ellie, where are you?”
I swear I heard a slight whimper coming from somewhere, but I couldn’t be sure.
“Sweetheart, please, where are you?”
I checked the bathroom, but she wasn’t in there. Then it hit me. Ellie needed dark, enclosed spaces to feel safe. I strode over to her cupboard and opened the door. She was curled up in a ball on the floor, her face hidden by her arms and legs.
I squatted next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She flinched at my touch.
“Sweetheart,” I said, keeping my voice soft. “I’m here.”
“It hurts,” she whimpered.
“What does? What happened?”
“Everywhere, it hurts.”
“You need to let me see.”
She let go of her legs, whimpering as she shifted. My heart felt tight as I brushed her hair from her face.
“What the fuck? Who did this to you?”
Her lip was split and one of her eyes was swollen shut.
“My dad,” she whispered.
“What?”
“My dad did it.”
I thought I’d misheard her the first time. Acid coiled in my stomach. Venom laced my veins. I knew what it meant to be physically assaulted by your own father. Seeing Ellie like this brought back the memory of seeing Dante in hospital after Dad beat the shit out of him. It brought back too many memories I’d buried.
“Why?”
“I wouldn’t do what he said… please, it hurts so much.”
She could explain later. Right now I needed to get her out of this cupboard so I could assess the damage inflicted on her.
“Okay, I’m going to pick you up and put you on the bed, sweetheart.”
She whimpered but didn’t object. I gathered her up in my arms as she cried out in pain and stood up. Carrying her over to the bed, I laid her down on it. She was still wearing the same clothes as she’d had on yesterday.
“Where does it hurt?” I asked, concerned I might have to take her to A&E.
“My chest and my face.”
I gently tugged up her clothes and found rapidly forming bruises all over her abdomen and ribcage. My own chest burnt at the sight of it. I ran my fingers over her ribs and she winced.
“I need to take you to get checked out.”
She shook her head.
“No, no hospitals, please.”
“Ellie…”
“No, I called you, not an ambulance or the police.”
“Will you tell me what happened?”
She turned her face towards me. Her swollen eye looked worse in the light.
“My dad sold me to the Daniels to pay for his drug habit when I was fourteen. He used to beat my mother up and he hated me because I cost him too much money. I didn’t think I’d see him again, but he turned up at the hotel weeks ago, the day you came over here the first time. Then this morning he showed up here spouting all sorts of crazy shit about me owing him.”
She coughed, her chest wheezing. I frowned. What if she’d cracked a rib?
“He somehow found out that I’ve been seeing you… And… and… oh god… he… he told me I had to…” she tailed off, closing her good eye as a tear fell down her cheek.
“You had to what?”
“He knows you and your siblings have money… he tried to use my mother as leverage to get me to…”
My heart dropped out from underneath me.
What the fuck?
“He wants money and he wanted me to use you to get it for him, but I won’t do that. Not for him. Not for my mother. Not for anyone.” She opened her eye again, staring up at me. “I would never do that to you. I’d never trick you.”
I put my hand on hers, giving it a squeeze. Ellie was a pure soul. I knew she wouldn’t do anything like that. She was sweet and kind.
“How exactly did he expect you to do that?”
“Make you marry me and then drive you to have an affair,” she whispered. “So I could file for divorce and take you for all your worth.”
The fact that she’d admitted all of this to me without any real hesitation proved just how fucked up and twisted her dad was. And how much she trusted me to believe her. Anyone who sells their own child for money is sick in the head. Just as sick as my own father.
“I promise, I’d never do anything like that.”
I reached up, stroking her hair back from her face.
“I know you wouldn’t.”
A fresh set of tears spilt down her face.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, it’s okay.”
“He beat me when he realised I wasn’t going to say yes. I’m scared, James. I’m so scared he’ll come back.”
She didn’t need to be afraid because I was going to protect her. And I’d make sure her scumbag father never got his hands on her again.
“You don’t need to worry, sweetheart. I’m taking you home. You’re going to stay with me.”
I’ll keep you safe, Ellie. If it’s the last thing I ever fucking do.
Chapter Eighteen
Ellie
James hadn’t given me a chance to object when he told me I was going with him. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I could given my dad knew where I lived. Richard Kirkwood would be back sooner or later.
James was busy packing up my clothes after he’d called in sick to work for me. Told them he wasn’t sure when I’d be back. I wasn’t in any state to go in nor did I think it was safe with my dad out there.
“Is there anything else you need?” James asked, sitting beside me again and stroking a hand down my arm.
“No,” I whispered.
He’d pretty much packed all the clothes I owned and my stuff from the bathroom. I hadn’t accumulated much since I was rescued. Amassing material possessions didn’t appeal to me.
“Okay, I’m going to take this stuff down to the car and come back for you. Where are your keys?”
“On the bedside table.”
He moved away and a minute later, I heard the door slam. My chest hurt far worse than my face did even though I couldn’t see out of one eye. I felt so ashamed. Having to tell James what my father did, what he tried to demand of me was awful.
I sat up, even though it hurt like hell to do so. There was no way I was letting him carry me out of the flat. I could walk, but he’d probably just have to help me
get down the stairs. The stupid building didn’t have a lift.
Shifting off the bed, I found my trainers and tugged them on, even though my chest burnt like hell. What I needed was a shower and to change out of these clothes. They were a reminder of my conversation with James last night and then my dad beating the crap out of me. It was lucky I blacked out not long after he first hit me. It made me sick to think he’d just carried on hurting my unconscious body, but my dad was scum. Worse than scum.
A few minutes later, James came back through the door, frowning when he saw me.
“I could’ve helped you with that,” he said, coming towards me.
“It’s okay, I managed.”
He helped me to my feet.
“You got your phone?” he asked.
“It’s on the floor of the cupboard.”
He went searching for it and tucked it into his pocket before leading me out of the flat. He made sure to lock up and walked me to the stairs. I baulked at the sight of them.
“We’ll take it slow,” he said, tucking an arm around my waist.
By the time we reached the ground floor, I was full on sobbing from the pain. I didn’t have it in me to stop him picking me up and carrying me out to the car. He got me situated in the passenger seat then came around and got in the driver’s side.
“I have to make a phone call. If you’re not going to let me take you to a hospital, you still need to be checked over by a doctor. He’s discreet.”
I said nothing, curling in on myself in the car seat as he fiddled with his phone and the Bluetooth in his car for a moment. The sounds of ringing filled my ears as we set off.
“Hello?”
I semi-recognised the voice.
“Hey, listen I need a favour.”
“What’s up?”
“Firstly, I’m not coming in tomorrow and secondly, I need you to get Brent to send the doctor round.”
James tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, his eyes darting from side to side at a set of traffic lights.
“Are you in trouble?”
“No…” He glanced at me. “Ellie is.”
“You’re going to have to give me more than that, James.”
He sighed and looked at me again.
Promises Page 18
