by JD Nixon
“I don’t care what you feel like.”
“Let me go! I feel sick.”
“I don’t give a shit. There are no excuses in my gym. If you’re not there in five minutes I’m going to drag you down there by your hair.”
“Bastard,” I muttered to myself.
“What did you say?”
“I said I’m coming. Okay? Keep your hair on.”
I was down there in three-and-a-half minutes. He showed me no mercy. I had to stop once to throw up again in the gym toilet. I stood at the basin splashing water on my face, clammy and even paler than normal, when he barged in and ordered me back for more punishment.
“I hate you,” I said sullenly, as he made me redo a manoeuvre for the tenth time.
“Good! I don’t want you to like me. I wouldn’t want to be the kind of person that you would like anyway,” he retorted.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Whatever the hell it means.”
“You’re a fucking arsehole.”
“And you’re a fucking princess.”
Despite myself, my lips twitched with laughter. His did as well and we contemplated each other for a moment. His eyes were incredible – I’d never seen anything like them.
“Can we get back to it now, please?” he eventually asked.
“Sorry for being such a jerk,” I said, and paid close and careful attention to his tuition for the rest of the lesson. I hadn’t shown him much courtesy tonight despite the fact that he was giving up his time to teach me valuable skills. I was ashamed of my bad behaviour. When the torture finally ended, I shook his hand again and thanked him sincerely for his time and skill. He looked embarrassed and gruffly brushed my thanks aside.
“See you next time, Mr Farrell, and I promise I’ll be on time.”
“Next time, Chalmers.”
“Tilly.”
“Chalmers.”
I rolled my eyes and made sure the gym was tidy before heading back upstairs for a much-needed shower. Before I hit the sack, I rang Dixie. It had been ages since I’d seen her and I decided that with Will away at a conference, we should have a girly weekend together. All on me. She was excited at the thought and agreed instantly. I rang up one of the city’s more ritzy hotels and booked us a twin room for the Saturday night with an early check-in and a late check-out.
As I drifted off to sleep that night I thought about all the fun things we would do together. We would visit the spa of course, eat at the hotel’s restaurants, maybe do some shopping, laze in its indoor pool and go wild in its nightclub. It would cost me a small fortune, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have anything else to spend my salary on anyway.
The next morning I was back to my normal self and hit the gym even though I’d had a good workout with Farrell the previous evening. When I made it to the office, Daniel was already there, deftly entering data into the monthly accounts. I went to him and kissed him on the cheek. He looked up and smiled.
“Thanks for getting me home safely, my lovely Danny. You’re a champ. I wasn’t fit for human company yesterday.”
“Glad to see you’re still breathing. Man, were you pissed!”
“I’m never doing that again. Ever!”
“Until the next time anyway,” he grinned. I grinned back sheepishly. He knew me far too well. “So your friend is an evil Select man?”
“He’s not evil. He’s very sweet.”
“And very good-looking.”
“Oh, so you noticed that, did you?”
He smiled enigmatically. I could not get him to confirm his sexual preference, no matter how hard I tried. In retaliation, I ruffled his hair, once again ruining his fashionable hairdo.
“Go away, Tilly,” he remonstrated mildly, trying to smooth it back down with one hand and continue typing with the other. I laughed and sauntered over to my desk.
Niq came in then and I went over to sit next to him for a while, going through his schoolwork, checking that he wasn’t cutting any corners. He’d been home-schooled through distance education since Heller had taken him in, not being able to settle at a normal school after a very neglectful and turbulent childhood. He was a good kid and I loved him dearly, gratified to see that he had indeed been working very hard. Before I left him to go back to my desk, I ruffled his hair as well, wrecking his carefully sculpted Goth hairdo.
“Tilly! Will you stop doing that?” he complained loudly, hands on his hair trying to repair the damage.
I laughed. “You two are divas when it comes to your hair,” I teased.
“Let’s get her,” Daniel suggested to Niq with a wicked grin. They both jumped up and ran towards me, pushing me into my chair, pulling my long hair from its ponytail and tousling it mercilessly with their hands. I screamed and laughed and begged them to stop, attempting to simultaneously fend them off with my hands and feet and protect my hair. When they finally did stop we all looked up to find Heller standing there watching us, his face expressionless, before he walked into his office.
Niq and Daniel laughed uncontrollably at my hair and I put my hands up to feel that it was incredibly messy and dishevelled. I took out the compact mirror I kept in my drawer to assess the damage. My hair was now big, 1980s big, and I could have landed a role in Dynasty with no trouble.
“You’ll both pay for this,” I threatened and spent the next ten minutes trying to comb the knots out. When I was done, I slicked it back into its ponytail and poked my tongue out at them. “I’m not going to make you dinner tonight now.” They groaned in disappointment, but not too loudly because they knew I’d change my mind by the time dinner rolled around.
My mobile rang. It was Corella giving me an update. Patricia had been charged with her husband’s murder and would make her first court appearance, a committal hearing, in a week’s time. She was still preternaturally calm and tranquil. I hoped her blanket of peace kept her going through the whole court case. I hung up and remembered that Bick and I had to go to the police station to give our statements. I was about to ring him, when my phone rang again and coincidentally it was him.
“Hey, BB,” I answered.
“Hey, TC. How did you pull up after the other night?”
“Badly, very badly. Sick all day yesterday. I swear I’m never drinking again. You?”
“Same, though probably not as bad as you. You were really getting stuck into the grog.”
“Were you impressed?”
“Oh, for sure,” he said sarcastically. “The ability to drink massive quantities of alcohol is very high on my list of desirable qualities in a woman.”
“I knew it!” I joked.
“Were you trying to impress me?”
“Nah, I’m just naturally impressive.”
He laughed. “I seem to have lost the scrap of paper that I wrote the email address on that you gave me. Could you tell me it again so I can send Heller my CV?”
I tutted. “How careless of you. I think you might have been slightly inebriated the other night, Mr Barnes.”
“I believe that may be a fair statement, Ms Chalmers. I’m lucky I didn’t lose my wallet too. It was hanging out of my pocket when I took off my pants that night.”
“Ooh, tell me more.”
“Naughty girl!”
“That’s what all the men tell me.” I gave him the Heller’s general email address again. “Have you written it down on something more permanent this time?”
“Yes, mum.”
“We still have to go to the police station. Do you want to go together?”
“Need someone to hold your hand?”
“No! I just thought . . .”
“You just want to see me again.”
“Mind reader!”
“I’ll meet you out the front of the station at about four this afternoon. Does that suit?”
“Thanks, Bick.”
“I gotta go, Tilly. My boss is right on my arse lately, especially as my last client was inconveniently murdered before he was able to pay
the bill. As if that’s my fault! He’s such a bastard. I can’t wait to leave.”
“Okay Bick, see you this afternoon. Bye.”
I hung up to find Heller standing next to my desk. How long had he been there and how much had he heard of my conversation? I didn’t know. I didn’t care.
“Yes?” I asked curtly, still annoyed about yesterday.
“Do you want to talk about what happened with Mrs Warburton?”
“No. You can read about it in my report. I let her down. End of story.”
“It’s not your fault, Matilda. She made her own decision. She’s an adult.”
I shrugged. “I should have stopped her from going with him. We all knew he was violent.”
“And she knew it more than anyone. It’s not your fault.”
“I don’t want to talk about it any more. I’m going to the police station this afternoon to give my statement.”
“I’ll drive you.”
“No, I’ll get someone else to.” Then I remembered about the weekend. “And I want to spend Saturday night with Dixie. I need a girly weekend, especially after all this crap. I’m going to take her to the Royale.”
“Okay, I think you need to let off some steam,” he agreed. I looked up at him suspiciously. He never agreed to let me do anything without a fight. His face was blank. I busied myself at my desk giving him a huge hint to go away, but he didn’t. He stood there, a poignant expression on his face. “We don’t talk much any more, Matilda.”
“You’re never here any more.”
“Oh, we’re back to Vanessa, are we?”
I rolled my eyes and gave an overly dramatic sigh. “You’re back to Vanessa. I’m merely stating a fact.”
“Maybe you should meet her. Then you mightn’t feel so insecure.”
“I’m not insecure!” I shouted, standing up so quickly and pushing back my chair so violently that it fell over, clattering to the floor. Daniel and Niq looked over with alarm on their faces. It was a peaceful office and there was rarely any commotion. So I didn’t tell Heller to piss off like I wanted to, but forced a smile on my face, unclenched my fists, and bent over to pick up my chair.
“Oops! Clumsy me,” I joked, in the fakest voice I’d ever heard me produce since I played a Chinese gold miner in a play about the Eureka Stockade at primary school. I sat down again. “Sure, I’d love to meet Vanessa,” I told Heller in a bright voice, a dazzling smile plastered on my face. “Why don’t you invite her over for dinner one night? Maybe we could swap custard recipes. That would be just peachy.”
He stared at me in confusion, obviously receiving very mixed messages from my voice and body language, and walked back to his office without saying another word. I worked hard writing my report on the Warburton assignment. It was quite an emotional experience and I tried to be hard-nosed about it, but I felt deeply depressed writing it and it took me all day. When I looked up at the clock, I suddenly realised that it was three-fifteen and I was going to be late to meet Bick if I didn’t move my butt soon.
I shut down my computer, ignored Heller’s stare from his office, ran upstairs to grab my handbag. I bravely decided to drive myself, even though I knew parking was going to be a bitch at this time on a Friday afternoon. I ran down the stairs, snatched up the keys to my favourite little car, black of course, which Heller’s insurance had recently replaced for me after my first car was totalled in that accident.
I’d barely driven it since Heller had taken me to pick it up at the car dealer. As I sat in the driver’s seat, gripping the steering wheel, all those familiar feelings of fear rushed at me again. I’d thought for a long time that I’d been fully responsible for the accident, losing control at high speed, nearly killing Niq and myself, and it was those emotions that always swamped me when I tried to drive again.
Harden up, Tilly, I told myself sternly, looking at myself in the rear view mirror and wiping away the light sheen of sweat that had appeared on my upper lip. You weren’t responsible and you can’t go through life afraid to drive. Otherwise Kirnin has won. That helped because I hated the thought of that man winning.
Taking a deep breath, I started the car and levered it into gear, slowly reversing it out of the parking spot. By myself, I drove slowly and cautiously, checking my mirrors with a frequency that bordered on obsessive, annoying other motorists with my refusal to drive anywhere near the speed limit. There’s no one following you, I chided myself as my eyes flicked to the mirror again. But my heart still pounded unreasonably the entire trip every time another car tailgated me, which in this city was constantly.
I failed to find a street park, so made my way to one of the exorbitantly expensive parking stations, as close to the police station as possible. Walking quickly, I made it just on the dot of four. Bick waited for me, leaning against a wall near the entrance looking ridiculously cute, dressed in blue jeans and a tight-fitting dark blue t-shirt that accentuated his muscular chest and arms. Yum!
I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, I chanted to myself in a chaste mantra as I approached him. I wished that I’d worn something more glamorous than the runners, jeans, t-shirt and ponytail that I’d donned that morning in anticipation of a casual day at work. Damn! He noticed me approaching and his whole face lit up.
“Hi there, Tilly.”
“Hey Bick. You ready?”
“Sure. Let’s get this over and done with.”
We entered the station and asked for Brian, taking a seat and waiting patiently until he was able to see us. He interviewed us separately, recording our statements and we waited again until they were transcribed and we signed them. Then we were free to go. I gave Brian a peck on the cheek goodbye to his embarrassment and told him I missed my two little nieces who I hadn’t seen for a while. He promised to invite me over for dinner soon. Sure, I thought to myself, when hell freezes over. His wife and I weren’t exactly best buddies.
Bick and I found ourselves out on the street.
“So, it’s Friday night. You want to do something?” he asked shyly.
“I’d love to Bick, but I have other plans for the evening.” And I really wished that I could invite him home to share dinner with Daniel, Niq and me. Damn Heller and his paranoia about strangers. Maybe it was time to think about moving out of the Warehouse so I could have a normal life again? Bick seemed so disappointed that my heart cracked a little, but in a competition between him and Daniel and Niq, I was afraid that he didn’t stand a chance.
“Of course you have. Hope you have a great evening and don’t forget about me, okay?”
“I won’t, I promise. Hopefully we might be workmates soon anyway.” He grinned. “Do you have a lift home? I have a car tonight.”
“Thanks, Tilly. That would save me a long walk.”
We strolled together to the parking station and I dropped him at his apartment block, before heading back home. On the way I realised that we’d been so busy chatting and laughing that I hadn’t even felt slightly nervous driving him around. Progress! I silently cheered myself. I rang Heller to tell him, but my call was diverted. Again. My spirits drooping a little, I left a message about my milestone on his voicemail, thinking sadly as I hung up that he always used to answer the phone when I called before she came into his life.
That evening, I rounded up the guys and coerced them into hard labour in my kitchen to produce a simple feast for us. I made them wash up as well while I lounged around with a glass of wine, watching TV. The final indignation for them for the night was when I inserted the latest chick flick into my DVD player, flatly refusing to view their suggested horror movie. They complained loudly, but I noticed that they both watched the movie avidly, Niq clutching a cushion to his chest, his big pale blue eyes even wider than normal. We then watched the latest dumb Hollywood comedy, Daniel and I giggling uncontrollably, holding each other, having consumed two bottles of wine between us. Niq was left unimpressed, both with the movie and Daniel’s and my silly banter. When that finished I chased the
m from my flat and collapsed on my bed, falling asleep instantly.
Chapter 11
When I woke up, I realised that it was Saturday! I was excited beyond belief at the thought of spending some quality time with Dixie. We always had loads of fun together and that was something that seemed to have been in short supply in my life lately. I virtuously spent the morning tidying my flat and restocking my small pantry with the lovely fresh food that Heller so generously supplied. As I picked over the produce in the sixth floor pantry, deciding what I needed, I thought about Heller. He hadn’t rung me back after I’d left that voicemail for him. Suddenly my excitement about the weekend with Dixie waned and it was only sheer determination that pushed it back up to an acceptable level.
Finally it was time to leave the Warehouse, and for once I was glad to go. I said goodbye to the guys, but Heller was nowhere to be found. I doggedly drove all thoughts of him from my mind and grabbed my little overnight bag, jogging down the stairs to my car. Feeling even more confident than I had yesterday, I jumped in and drove to Dixie’s place. This time I almost reached the speed limit as I drove, the recipient of only four flip-offs instead of the fourteen I’d received yesterday.
Dixie was waiting on the curb for me and hopped into the car enthusiastically, full of high spirits, singing along loudly to the stereo all the way to the hotel. Her good mood instantly lifted mine and I determined once more not to think about Heller at all during our fun weekend together.
“I couldn’t wait to get away from Jon and Don,” she admitted. “It’s getting too weird even for me. Ugh!”
“Dix,” I remonstrated. “You gotta find somewhere new to crash. Let them live happily ever after together and move on.”
“But they pay so much of the rent. I can’t afford anywhere else,” she complained. I thought briefly about Bick struggling with his huge mortgage and Dixie struggling with her huge rent, but didn’t know if I should introduce them to each other. Dixie was so worldly and Bick seemed so sweet. Could I do that to him? Could I do that to her? Would they like each other? Would they like each other too much? I just didn’t know. I’ll think about it later, I decided.
