They sat on the love seat, saying nothing for a very long time, simply enjoying each others' company.
After a while, Gretchen finally spoke, her voice hesitant and slightly tentative. "Can I ask you a question?"
Hunter nodded. "Sure."
He felt Gretchen's body tense slightly and couldn't prevent his own shoulders from tightening in response.
"It's about when I was away," she said quietly. "You don't mind talking about it, do you?"
They still weren't looking at each other and Hunter realized he didn't want to look into her eyes in case he saw an expression in them that would cause him to worry about what she was going to say.
"I don't mind at all," he said, even if what he really wanted was for the peace and love of the past few minutes to continue forever.
He heard Gretchen draw in a deep breath, as if steadying herself. "You do trust me, don't you, Hunter," she said.
"Of course I do. You know that," he answered.
"But really trust me. I mean, that you believe me when I say that the reason I had to leave, and the reason I couldn't come home are so important that I couldn't even tell the closest person in my life why I had to do what I had to do."
Hunter felt his body tighten. The same old objections floated into his mind and he had to try hard to stop them from spilling out of his mouth. "I think I understand," he said after a pause.
Gretchen pulled slightly away from him and raised her head, peering up into Hunter's eyes. "But do you trust me?"
"You know I do, Gretchen. You're my wife. How could I not trust you?" he told her, trying to sound as reassuring as he could. He could see by her furrowed brows that she still harbored some uncertainty.
The corner of Gretchen's mouth twisted slightly and he saw that she was carefully considering her next words. She pulled away from Hunter, sitting upright, leaning back against the end of the love seat. She fixed her eyes on Hunter.
"What's this about, Gretchen?" he asked.
Gretchen glanced toward the fireplace, momentarily lost in thought. Finally she turned and her eyes locked on Hunter's. "I know you need an explanation about why I left and why I couldn't come back, even while I was pregnant."
Hunter shook his head slowly, suddenly saddened that the atmosphere in the room had changed so quickly. "I'm trying to understand, Gretchen. But it isn't easy. I'm your husband. I assumed that meant we wouldn't keep secrets from each other," he said.
Gretchen leaned forward. "But that's the thing, Hunter. It's not a secret," she exclaimed.
"Then what is it?"
Gretchen frowned. "It's a promise," she said, her voice flat and unemotional.
"Which you can't share, even with me?" he asked.
Gretchen shook her head slowly, her face abruptly filling with an expression Hunter never liked to see.
Sadness.
He reached out toward Gretchen but she stiffened on seeing the hand that he offered. Her eyes met Hunter's, and he saw a flash of determination in her gaze.
"Who is this person to whom you've made a promise?"
Gretchen shook her head. "I just can't say, Hunter."
He sighed loudly. "Obviously, they're more important than me," he complained.
Gretchen shook her head, again, this time more vigorously. "That's not true. There is no-one more important to me than you, Hunter. You must believe me when I say that."
"If that's the case then why are you asking me to simply accept your explanation on blind faith?" Hunter demanded. Both of their voices had risen now, and in the confines of the small cabin, the sound seemed unnaturally loud.
"Because I know you trust me. That's why," Gretchen said.
When she continued, her voice was filled with a firmness and conviction that Hunter hadn't heard before. It seemed like something new in Gretchen, a new quality in her about which he'd been previously unaware.
"I can't tell you, because keeping a promise I gave to someone who means a great deal to me is important," she said continuing. "I have to know that my husband can believe in me, and allow me the freedom to know what's best for us, and our family. Even if it means taking something on blind faith. Because in the end, faith is the basis of every successful marriage. Isn't it?"
Hunter was momentarily stunned by the forcefulness of Gretchen's declaration. He leaned back against his end of the love seat and simply looked at Gretchen, feeling the shock vibrate through his body. Was this was this past year had been all about? Had it been a test of Hunter's faith in Gretchen? Was she asking him to simply accept that she could leave him and return with no explanation, because Gretchen had given someone a promise to keep the truth from Hunter? How could he do such a thing, he asked himself.
"What are you thinking, Hunter?" she asked.
Hunter blinked and felt his eyes widen in disbelief. "I'm thinking that this whole thing is crazy. You're asking me to accept that I'll never get an explanation for why you ran off." Hunter shook his head. "I'm not sure I can do that, Gretchen."
Hunter saw Gretchen's face flush with color. "Why not?" she demanded. "Why can't you trust me?"
"I do, Gretchen," he said.
Gretchen stood up and went toward the fireplace, clasping her hands tight across the front of her stomach. She peered down at Hunter. "How can you say that, and at the same time keep on demanding the truth from me?" she said, her voice rising, emotion filling the tone of it.
Hunter stood up and moved toward Gretchen. She turned away from him.
"Just tell me where you went," Hunter said. "And then all of this will be over. We can move on with the rest of our life together."
Gretchen turned and looked at Hunter, her brows furrowing, a look of astonishment on her face. "Move on?" she said incredulously. "How can we move on when you won't even grant me the privilege of being able to give a promise to someone and to keep that promise? Even if it means not telling you all the facts."
Gretchen took a few steps away from Hunter, turning her back on him once again. Hunter followed her and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Gretchen. Please. Let's not fight over something as little as this," he said.
She whirled and locked her eyes on his. "Something little?" she shrieked. Her eyes were wide with disbelief "You mean to tell me that when I give someone dear to me a sacred promise, and when she swears me to an oath not to share her predicament with anyone else, that I should renege on that promise? That I should betray my integrity?" she said, her voice rising almost to fever pitch.
Hunter removed his hand from her shoulder and took a step back. "Who is this "she" that you're talking about?" he asked.
Gretchen's lips tightened into a thin, angry line. He saw her nostrils flare with fury and her jaw tighten.
Gretchen shook her head. "I've already said too much," she answered.
Gretchen started to make her way toward the door. Hunter went after her and tried to take hold of her arm, but Gretchen shook his hand away. "I have to get back to the twins," she blurted out.
"Gretchen. I'm sorry," Hunter said.
She pulled the door open and turned to Hunter. He could see the sadness in her eyes and the sight of it made his heart sink.
"And I'm sorry, too, Hunter. Truly sorry," she said.
Before he had a chance to respond, Gretchen raced out of the cabin and started running back toward the house. Hunter stepped out of the door and watched his wife's figure speeding along the pathway. She held the heavy fabric of her dress in bunched fists. When he saw her briefly stumble he had a sudden impulse to race after her. But when he saw the defiant look on he face as she looked back toward Hunter, he made the difficult decision to stay right where he was. It wouldn't do for the both of them to create a scene back at the house. The last thing he wanted was to cause any concern to his guests or Mrs. Roper.
As Hunter closed the cabin door behind him he figured he'd already done enough to upset the one person who meant everything to him.
How come he hadn't been able to give Gretchen what she ha
d so earnestly demanded of him?
Trust.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
What had gone wrong? What was she to do? She had tried to help Hunter understand why she couldn't give him the whole truth. And she had failed. She could hardly blame him for being impatient for an explanation. If she had been abandoned by Hunter for a year and returned without a satisfactory explanation, she figured she would be as unhappy as he clearly was.
Gretchen headed back to the house. She composed herself before going into the parlor. It would be no good for anyone to see that she was upset. For the remainder of the morning she busied herself by trying to be the best host she could be for her visitors. It was a true delight to talk to these wonderful women. She was glad that she could call all three of them friends. Hunter didn't come back to the house. Gretchen wondered where he had gone. She hoped no-one would ask any awkward questions and luckily they didn't. Maybe they were simply being polite.
The children kept everyone well occupied. Gretchen felt so proud to be a part of such a group of women all of whom shared so much. Handsome rancher husbands; beautiful children and the prospect of a wonderful life in Montana.
Gretchen found herself slightly relieved when at last everyone departed. She felt she'd done a good job as a host for the first visit of her friends. She promised she would visit with each one of them once things were more settled at the ranch.
Mrs. Roper left to go into town and Gretchen found herself left alone at the ranch, looking after the children. She was glad of the peace and quiet after the hectic activity of the visit. Gretchen spent a long, quiet time in the parlor with the children, simply enjoying their presence, savoring this peaceful time. But her mind was troubled.
For how long would Hunter be gone? She wondered what he must be thinking about after their encounter at the cabin. But, what was she to do? Hadn't she made that promise which now seemed to threaten the very happiness she so badly wanted, here in Montana, with her beautiful twins and her beloved husband.
Because that was what Hunter was to her. A truly beloved husband. He had waited for Gretchen for so long. He had held onto the hope that his wife would return as she imagined few men would have. He had demonstrated loyalty and love in a truly extraordinary way.
So now his reward from Gretchen was a refusal to give him the complete story of her absence.
But Gretchen knew she could not do that. A woman's promise was important, and not something that should be surrendered lightly. Gretchen had Alice to think of. Dear, sweet Alice and the reason that all of this had happened in the first place.
But she could tell none of that to Hunter.
Not yet.
She wanted desperately to focus on the good that the future held. And the twins were what the future was all about. Hunter had accepted them without the slightest hesitation, without the slightest reservation. And that had filled Gretchen with hope that they could overcome any obstacle. It was clear that Hunter loved the children. He had connected with them almost immediately.
Gretchen recalled the worry that had filled her all during the journey back to Montana. When she thought of her concerns over whether Hunter would accept the children she chided herself for being a foolish woman. Of course there never could have been any doubt that Hunter would accept the twins. That he would adore the twins with all his heart. Her husband was a good man, and nothing would ever change that fact.
But their argument had felt so darned serious. The doubts he had expressed to her so real.
The twins kept Gretchen so busy that she didn't notice Mrs. Roper's return. The first she knew of the housekeeper's presence was when the woman came striding into the parlor. Gretchen saw that she was holding an envelope in her hand.
"How are those little ones," Mrs. Roper asked eagerly.
"Keeping me well occupied," Gretchen said.
"That's as it should be," Mrs. Roper said with a smile.
She came to the sofa and handed Gretchen the envelope. "I picked this up for you when I was in town," she said reaching down to tickle Lewis under his chin.
Gretchen took the small brown envelope and frowned. Gretchen saw Mrs. Roper turn her attention from Lewis. "Anything wrong, Gretchen?" she asked.
Gretchen clutched the envelope close to her. "No, Mrs. Roper. It looks like a telegram from a friend," she said forcing a smile to her lips.
Mrs. Roper looked momentarily unconvinced, but then a sense of propriety overtook her and she stood upright, hand clasped tight. "Maybe you'd like a moment to read your telegram," she offered.
"That might be nice. Yes, Mrs. Roper," Gretchen replied trying to compose herself but aware that the expression on her face must be making Mrs. Roper ask all sorts of questions.
"If you need any help with the twins, you call me," she said.
"I will," Gretchen said.
Once Mrs. Roper had left the parlor, Gretchen hurriedly tore open the envelope. Opening the folded paper she saw that the telegram was from Alice. Why was Alice writing to her now? Had something happened? Was Alice once again in some sort of trouble?
As she started to read, Gretchen knew that a situation had arisen which promised to give her the chance to remove the barrier to happiness with Hunter.
However it also promised to make things a whole lot more complicated.
****
Hunter had planned to spend time out with the herd. He had to clear his mind of the disagreement with Gretchen. But that wasn't proving to be easy. She still wasn't giving him the answers he needed. And it was driving him crazy.
Gretchen kept on coming out with these vague answers about how she couldn't break a promise, and how she had given her word, and that it was impossible for her to tell him the whole story.
Did it really matter that he didn't know the truth about what had happened while she had been away from him? Wasn't it enough that she was back with him? Wasn't it enough that he now had an instant family?
He loved the twins with all his heart and they had brought a sunshine into his life that had banished the darkness once and for all.
But he still needed the truth from Gretchen. And she wouldn't give it to him.
Hunter tried to busy himself with the herd. He even tried to join in the good-natured joshing with the ranch hands. He always liked to play along with their jokes. They made the days work easier. But today he couldn't even bring a smile to his face. Not after what he and Gretchen had said to each other.
The busier he got that morning the more difficult it seemed to get Gretchen out of his mind. The truth was, she would never leave his mind. She never had, even while she had been gone. The feelings he had for that woman would never be anything less than true and genuine love. The love he felt for her filled his soul every moment of every day.
But he wanted so badly to understand why she had left. He needed to get rid of that barrier, felt it like a stone wall that stood between them, even in the quietest moments they spent together.
Finally he couldn't stand it any longer. He decided he'd get back to the ranch house and tell Gretchen just how he was feeling, how much he'd been troubled by what they'd said to each other.
He rode back to the ranch house and tied the horse up in the yard. Striding into the house he went through some of the rooms. Gretchen was nowhere to be found. Nor were the twins making their customary welcoming noises. He heard Mrs. Roper singing to herself in the kitchen.
The housekeeper turned to Hunter when he entered the kitchen.
"Where's Gretchen?" he asked her.
"She left a while ago," Mrs. Roper explained.
Hunter felt a stab of panic cut into his gut. "What do you mean she left?"
"Just what I say. She just up and went. After she got the telegram," Mrs. Roper said.
Another surge of that familiar unease swept up inside him. The same feeling he'd had so many times before.
"What telegram?"
"I was in town. I picked up a telegram for her. Seemed mighty important to Gretchen. Took the tw
ins too."
"Took the twins!" Hunter exclaimed.
"She was in a real hurry," Mrs. Roper said.
"Did she say where she was going?"
Mrs. Roper shrugged. "Train station in town."
Hunter ran out of the ranch house, leaping onto his horse. He was going to have to move fast if he was going to have any chance of catching up with Gretchen.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Hunter rode his horse fast and hard along the dry, dusty trail. His eyes were fixed intently ahead, straining to focus on the horizon, hoping that he would see the carriage. He could see the recent tracks that had been cut into the earth by the carriage that Gretchen was driving toward town.
His thoughts raced, making it hard to focus on the trail. Hadn't he done enough? Hunter had thought that Gretchen had finally succumbed to his attempts at persuasion. But he'd been wrong. There was still that barrier between them. The unspoken, hidden truth that she would not allow to pass her lips. And it was burning him up inside.
And now she was gone. Again.
Was it for good this time? Had his clumsy attempts at being a good husband just plain backfired on him?
He leaned forward grasping the reins tight in his hand. He spurred the horse on to pick up the pace. He had to get to town. Had to get to the train station and stop Gretchen from doing something they would both regret. Something that make any chance of happiness for either of them a complete impossibility.
How could she even think of taking the children away from him. His jaw tightened at the thought of losing the twins. The past days had been the happiest of Hunter's life. He felt like a man transformed, change utterly and irrevocably. There was no going back. He was a father and he felt a hard, firm sense of responsibility for those children.
Hunter paused on a ridge and looked down toward town. He could see the sprawling buildings in the distance. He felt his gut sink when he realized there was no sign of Gretchen. She must already be in town, way ahead of him. She might even be boarding the train. It might even be getting ready to slide out of the station. He dug his heels into the side of the horse and raced down the hill, the sound of the horse's hooves warring with the hard beating of his speeding heart.
Hunter's Montana Bride (Montana Ranchers and Brides #8) Page 10
