A slow flush crept up my pale skin, and my eyes remained open but looked at nothing. Under the table, Augustus pulled my legs open a bit, and then took another card. I tried to focus on that tender spot, muscles tensing in my core.
It was impossible to entirely hide the rising tension inside me. The way my dress shoved my breasts up was unforgiving as every quick breath made them rise and fall.
For the briefest second, Josef glanced at me and his lips twitched in what was almost a smile.
I bit my lip, shamed because I knew that he knew, even though no one paused the game or the conversation even for a moment. My chance slipped away as I grew self-conscious, the tingling feeling between my legs growing more subdued.
Augustus glanced at me with faint disapproval and I clenched my legs together again. The moment of desire slipped away. I felt defeated, and then angry at him for demanding something so shameful and ridiculous.
Charles won the game and swept up the coins with one hand.
“She is so human,” Josef said, finally voicing the unspoken conversation. “She has no sense of the game, does she? It’s very charming—until Grandfather dies.”
“Pray we have time yet,” Augustus said curtly.
Josef rapped his fingers on the table. “I’m not much for praying.”
I felt a ripple of tension I didn’t quite understand. “What’s going on?”
Augustus and Josef were exchanging hard looks. Augustus looked at the small watch he had in his waistcoat pocket and took my hand in his. “Past midnight and we should both be going,” he said. “I’m not sure why I keep playing with you when Charles always wins.”
“Augustus, what is it?” I pressed, when we were alone again. “Josef seems angry at you. Or is he angry at me? Have I done something wrong?”
He looked at my face, and stroked my hair, and then he drew me close to him. “No, no, my love. You have done nothing wrong at all.”
Chapter Fourteen
Rose
The aunts did put their corsets back on after a few weeks of solidarity with me. They said they were too old to go without.
Another letter came from my mother:
I have heard from the Countess of Winschingrau that you have let your appearance go to a troubling degree. I hope that these rumors are exaggerated; surely you are well aware of the importance of appearance in Ellurine’s court and wouldn’t do something so provoking! Remember that you are a human among faeries and it will not take much for them to see you as a foreign body who does not respect their customs, particularly when you have not yet given them an heir! You must set the highest tone for your conduct.
I read the letter in horror.
These rumors have reached all the way back to Osteria?
That was much worse than I thought. I realized that I stood alone in my rebellion now; no lady of the court left off her corset but me. A chill went down my spine. I didn’t want to go back to being caged, but if my mother had word that I received her letter and still refused the corset, the frustration would spark from her pen into the next letter.
Tomorrow was a formal ball and some statesmen from Osteria would be present. I knew that when they returned, my mother would ask them about the corset.
“I’ll put it back on,” I told Countess Noria the next day, spitting the words out stubbornly.
“Pardon?”
“The grand corps. I want to return to normal protocol.” I avoided her eyes.
Her face lit in a way that made me feel I’d lost a war, before she nodded her head. “As you wish, Your Highness.”
In the evening after the ball, Augustus stood behind me and unlaced the stays silently. His fingers gently caressed my ribs before gathering up my hair in one hand and kissing my neck. I was quiet, thinking of my days of freedom bitterly. On one hand, it seemed like a silly thing to complain about, to complain about a piece of clothing. But I felt like a withering plant. I wouldn’t die, but my leaves would always be wilted and pale.
“So we’re back to this, are we?” he said.
“My mother sent a letter about it.”
“I see.” He cupped my face and kissed tears from my eyes. “We can still go riding,” he said. “You can be free then.”
“Oh, really? Well, I’m sure I’ll have a letter about that before long.”
He drew me to the bed and locked the bonds around my ankles. “If a letter comes, I will write back to your mother myself and tell her it is my desire.”
“But your father doesn’t approve either, does he? I’m afraid she’ll write him and we’ll just go around for awhile.”
“This will be our court someday. Some rules are written, but every King and Queen gets to set the tone. I won’t wait for everything,” Augustus said, grazing his hand along my bare breast. “Not to make you happy.” He paused. “When you are the queen, I will give you everything within my power.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“I wish I could give you something. Sometimes you seem unhappy too. I’ve heard that you used to be shy and the king was very tough on you. How did you learn to embrace all of this so well?”
He frowned. “Who said I was shy?”
“So you weren’t shy, then?”
Now a wrinkle appeared across his forehead. “No, I was shy. Grandfather gave me so much grief over it. But my parents had just died, and I was…in shock, I suppose. I shut down for a while. Life in the palace, putting on a show for the people every day, with courtiers packing my chambers and strangers watching me eat, seemed intolerable. I got away from the place every chance I could.”
“You still do!”
“Well, is it any wonder? What madness we’ve subjected ourselves to, I thought. But I read everything I could find about the first King of the Sun Palace, and I started to understand. I would tell myself that I was pretending to be him instead of myself. I told myself that none of this was real. Sometimes I look around the room and it’s as if I’m the only thing that’s real. Everything seems to crumble to dust around me.”
I jerked back like I’d been electrocuted.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just—the witch who cursed me. She cast an illusion on the room for a moment, so that everything looked like it was crumbling to dust. My nursemaid used to tell me the story over and over.”
He looked down. “I shouldn’t have said something so ominous in the first place. But I will say, the one thing that always seems real is you. You seem more real to me than anything in my entire life.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel very real anymore,” I said.
I had never voiced those words before, but it was true. The palace was such a strange dream, and while I had moments when I returned to my old self, like when I was out in the garden or sneaking off to the attic with my friends to read plays, those were the exception rather than the rule.
He brushed his thumb across my lip, his fingers slightly calloused against my soft skin. How unusual for a prince to have calloused hands!
“You are real,” he said. “Just try to remember that. It’s just you and me. The rest of the world could crumble away, for all I care.”
He was so tender with me that night, and I was happy in the moment. But submitting to the grand corps again was only the first of several misfortunes at the palace as summer crawled to an end and the leaves began to tinge gold.
Chapter Fifteen
Rose
One day the maid brought me tea and I found a message folded neatly under my cup.
There is someone in the palace who will tell you the truth. You have never spoken to her.
If this was a riddle, the obvious answer was Madame Bariel.
Had she sent this message?
This is just another trick, I thought. If I speak to her, she’ll have won. The Lady of Towers would be disappointed in me, and whatever this ‘truth’ was, it couldn’t be anything of importance or my husband or friends would tell me.
I had managed
not to speak to Madame Bariel for over two months now. At this point, I thought I never would.
And yet, I kept wondering over that conversation with Augustus and Josef.
Not enough to give Bariel what she wants. I burned the message with a candle.
Palace life was the same, day after day. Countess Noria kept pecking at me even after she had won the battle of the grand corps, scolding me for playing with my servants’ children and always urging me to “choose my friends wisely”, by which she meant to abandon Julia and Louisa in favor of the old ladies of the court who powdered their faces and tutted that when they were young, music was better and fashions were more sophisticated and the princes of the realm didn’t have to marry humans and goblins.
Why would I ever want to spend a moment with them?
So I didn’t.
I continued to spend my free hours laughing and playing with my two dearest friends, Peony and Storm, my brothers-in-law, and other young people of the court, holding plays in the attic. Augustus was our only audience. He was not much for acting but he would agree to watch.
There was a small shadow over my husband and me. Even with the clockwork, I had only climaxed at his order just once, and it was when we were riding well ahead of the guards. The joy of being alone with him and the fresh air and movement were enough for me to feel safe, and for once I was able to let go.
But the commands persisted, patient but continuous. Sometimes he would whisper in my ear during dinner or at the card games or while walking in the gardens on a fine day when everyone was out, and with other people around, my whole body froze up. It had become a thing of dread for me when I heard his whisper or saw his hand lift. I didn’t understand why this was demanded of me.
A day came when I could tell something was truly wrong between us. He avoided me, offering me none of the usual caresses or dalliances, and at meals he only looked at me and exchanged the barest pleasantries. I didn’t understand. Nothing unusual had happened the previous day. Had I missed a signal from him? Had I failed in my duties in some unknown way?
But I had known him long enough by now that this didn’t seem like him, to be patient for so long and then suddenly shut me out in anger.
When the servants departed for the night, we were finally alone together, and for the first time, he left me standing there in my corset without making any move to remove it. Then he pushed me to the bed.
“You are just a human, but you should know better,” he hissed.
“Augustus…what is it?”
“What is it? Have you not heard? Or—“ He paused. “Were you so busy chattering away with Julia and Louisa that you don’t even know what the palace is whispering about?”
“I—I suppose so, because I have no idea—“
“It really isn’t wise for a princess to limit herself to two friends.” He fastened the bonds around me, and then he pulled the silken cord at my right foot and tied it in a knot so it had no give. He did the same to the next foot, spreading my legs wide open on the bed, while I was still dressed in my shift and stays.
“Augustus…please…”
But he went around the bed and tightened all the cords until I was splayed on the bed, my breath straining desperately against my stays. With my legs open so wide I was even more sensitive to the swirl of the clock and despite all my fear of what was going on, I still had to gasp and arch my back against it.
He stood over me. “You told someone that I wanted you to master me, didn’t you?” he said. “You might be capable of lying, but I hope you won’t lie to me now.”
I bit my lip. “I did say…something…to my friends. Weeks ago! I didn’t know that it was such a taboo even to allude to it; truly…”
“You should realize that is one rule that cannot be broken. Somehow it’s gotten out. They’re all whispering now. And I give it a week before the bawdy cartoons reach Luminé.”
“Oh no, I… It was only a sentence or two in a private conversation. And then Julia and Louisa said the same thing, that I should be quiet, and I did immediately. I’ll never forgive myself if I’ve hurt you. I just didn’t know. I should have known… I—I still just don’t always know which rules can be broken and which cannot…”
“You can’t break them on your own. Especially not this one.” He cursed, turning from me. “I should never have married you at all.”
His words pierced me, as if I realized all at once how much I loved him despite it all. “Augustus! I’m—I’m so sorry…”
“It’s not because…” He glanced over his shoulder, softening slightly. “Why is it so hard for me to be angry at you, Rose?” He shook his head. “I knew it would be difficult for a human girl. And that’s why I wanted you. I wanted someone from outside this illusion, but I thought less about what pain it would be to make you a part of it. When we’re alone, I forget myself at times… I should not have made such a subversive comment even to you in private. I undermine myself as your master.”
“Oh no, sir…I know you are my master.”
“Do you? I’ll have to remind you now.” He walked over to the cabinet where the balm was kept, and took out a different bottle.
He wrapped his fingers around my chin. “I do enjoy this, Rose. All of it. And that’s all you need to know.” He poured a swallow of liquid into my mouth and I coughed at the rich, tannic taste. He pushed up my shift and took off the clockwork belt, spreading my pussy lips with his fingers. Then he lifted my nipples over the edge of the corset so he could see all of me. His fingers traced around my nipples until they were stiff, and a small moan caught in my throat.
He peeled off his shirt. I watched his strong arms free themselves of the fabric, tossing it aside. He looked wild as the wolfkin who turn into beasts, his hair mussed by the shirt pulling away from his head, his eyes lit with a mixture of anger and…other things. I must have looked both afraid and excited. This felt like new territory, like he was about to push me farther away from what I had been before, into that world where everything crumbled to dust except the two of us. Then he slid off his elegant buckled shoes, a gesture that could not help but look delicate. The contrast only stirred me more. He yanked open the buttons of his trousers and in another moment he was gloriously naked, every inch of him beautiful.
He climbed atop me and thrust deep inside me. He didn’t kiss me and caress me as he usually did, but simply fucked me, hard and unrelenting, grunting with pleasure. I could feel every thrust until I ached inside but his vigor and roughness only made me wet. So very wet that I feared I might come even without his permission, but instead I only hovered there on the edge.
He kept at it until he came inside me, leaving me dripping with his essence, my own desire still unsatisfied when he pulled out of me. He sat back, his hand idling stroking me between the legs as he watched my expressions change.
I didn’t dare speak.
“Why are we indoors?” he said huskily. “We should be under the moonlight.” He walked to one of the window and threw it wide open, the curtains stirring in the night air.
He returned to me, pinching my clit between his fingers as every bit of me strained. “Do you realize what I’ve done to you yet?”
“You’ve tied me up…”
“I gave you a potion so you won’t be able to climax. You haven’t yet learned. Maybe this will help. I will make you burn tonight…” He bowed his head between my legs and licked at the mixture of our juices and I knew some servant might be listening outside, but I screamed a low, agonized scream as he focused on my bud until it did burn indeed. My nerves felt like they were tying themselves in knots.
“Oh…please…!”
“Scream all you like.”
“I don’t want the whole palace to hear me!”
“Ah, but that will put this rumor to rest. I want you to scream for me, Rose, until the whole palace knows you are at my mercy.”
And so the agony continued until I was exhausted from fighting against the bonds and the corset and his tongue and my
screams turned to whimpering cries and pleads.
“All right. Good girl. That’s enough for tonight.”
He loosened my bonds and freed me of the corset, and held me for a bit, the gentle caresses soothing me after it all. I was so aroused but at the same time, so overstimulated that I hardly even wanted anything more to touch me there. I fell asleep surprisingly fast, but I soon learned that he was far from finished with me.
Chapter Sixteen
Rose
In the morning, Augustus replaced the clockwork before we parted ways. Morning drew us apart into separate rituals; I had a little time to myself to write letters. My hands were still trembling from straining against my bonds last night.
My mother had barely calmed down over the affair of the grand corps before she moved on to other reasons to scold me.
I heard you are still shunning Madame Bariel at court! Does your stubbornness have any end, child? You would not want to lose the king’s favor, Rose. As much as I disapprove of the situation, he has adored the woman for many years and it would be unwise for you to continue.
I frowned, finding it hard to believe that my prim and proper mother would ever approve of Madame Bariel.
But then, she had sent me here, her only daughter, packed off to the most corrupting of all courts. In the end, she always chose the power of alliances over personal feelings, so of course she would expect me to do the same.
Increasingly, I didn’t know what to say to my mother at all. She had never said one word to me about sex except that I had to do what my husband said. Well, I certainly was obeying him as she instructed me, but I didn’t want to talk to her about it. My mind was so consumed by sex that I hardly knew what else to say either. Even now, I was consumed by the unfulfilled promise of last night. When I heard a rustle I turned, hoping it would be Augustus coming to satisfy me at last, but it was only the wind stirring the curtains again.
The Surrender of Sleeping Beauty Page 11
