“In the overalls with the grease all over my face? I must have made quite an impression.” She was laughing and holding the pin that seemed so remarkable to her. Even the propeller moved when she touched it.
“You did,” he admitted. “You're the only woman I know who looks good in blackface.’
“Desmond, you're awful.” She laughed, feeling close to him. It was odd, but despite the distance between them, she felt friendly toward him. He was one of the few friends she had here. Other than Desmond, there was only Nancy, and one or two of the other pilots. But there was no one she spent any real time with. She respected Desmond enormously and all he stood for and worked so hard for. He believed in excellence, at any cost, to him, or to his company. He never settled for anything less than perfection. Just like the little plane she held in her hand as a gift from him. It was perfect.
“Am I awful, Cass?” he asked seriously after her light-hearted comment. “I've been told that by experts and they're probably right.” But he said it so disarmingly, she felt sorry for him. She realized he was a lonely man, in spite of his importance, and all the luxuries he had. He had no children, no wife, few friends, and according to the newspapers at the moment, not even a girlfriend. All he had were his airplanes and his business.
“You know you're not awful,” Cass said softly.
“I'd like to be your friend, Cass,” he said honestly, and held a hand out to her across the table. She wasn't quite sure what he meant, but she was deeply touched by all he'd done for her, and the gesture of friendship.
“I am your friend, Desmond. You've been very Kind to me… even before this… I never really felt that I deserved it.”
“That's why I like you,” he smiled, “you don't expect anything, and you deserve it all, even better than that.” He gestured to the tiny diamond plane in her hand, and then took it from her, and pinned it on her dress from across the table. “You're a special girl, Cass. I've never known anyone like you.” She smiled at him, touched by what he had said, and grateful for his friendship.
He took her home that night, and walked her upstairs. He didn't ask to come in, and he never mentioned the world tour. But he surprised her by sending her flowers the next day, and calling her on Sunday and inviting her to go for a ride. It had never even occurred to her before what he might do on the weekends. She usually flew if she had time, or Nancy booked her into social events where she had to be seen with her long list of escorts.
Desmond picked her up at two o'clock, and they drove out to Malibu, and walked on the beach. It was a glorious day, and the beach was almost deserted. He talked for a while about his youth, his years in boarding school, and then at Princeton. He hadn't been home a lot during that time. His mother had died when he was very young, and his father had plunged himself into his business. He had built an empire, but in the process of building it, he had forgotten his only child. He had never even bothered to have Desmond home for vacations. He stayed at his various schools, first Fessenden then St. Paul's, and then finally Princeton. By then, he didn't really care anymore, he went away on his own or with friends for his vacation.
“Didn't you have any family at all?” Cassie looked horrified at the story of his desperately lonely childhood.
“None. Both of my parents were only children. All of my grandparents were dead before I was born. I never had anyone except my father, and actually, I never really knew him. I think that's why I've never wanted any children of my own. I wouldn't have wanted to inflict that kind of pain on anyone. I'm happy as I am, and I wouldn't want to disappoint a child.” There was something very bleak and sad about him, and she understood him better now. It was the loneliness she had sensed, the isolation that had gone on for years. He had put it to good use, but how painful for him. And he still seemed so lonely.
“Desmond… you wouldn't disappoint anyone… you've been so kind to me.” He had been. Her contacts with him had been nothing but pleasant. He was the perfect gentleman, the perfect friend, the perfect employer. There was no reason why he couldn't be the perfect husband or parent. She knew he had been married twice previously and she also knew he had no children. Magazines she'd read made a big point of saying that there was no heir to his gigantic fortune. But now she knew why. He didn't want one.
“I married very young,” he explained, as they sat on the sand finally, looking out at the water. “I was still at Princeton. And it was incredibly stupid. Amy was a lovely girl, and completely spoiled by her parents. We came back here when I graduated, and she hated everything about it,” He looked at Cass then with sudden amusement. “I was the same age you are now, but with tremendous illusions about being grown up, and knowing what I was doing. She wanted me to move to New York, and I wouldn't. She wanted to be dose to her family, and I thought it terribly strange. I took her to Africa instead, on safari, and then to India for six months. And then we went to Hong Kong, where she took the first ship back to her parents. She said I had tortured her and taken her to horrible places. She said she'd been held hostage with savages.” He smiled at the absurdity of it and Cassie laughed. He made it all sound very funny. “By the time I got back, her father's lawyers had filed for divorce. I suppose I never understood that she wanted to be near her mother, and I wanted to show her something a lot more exciting.
“My next wife was a lot more intriguing. I was twenty-five, and she was a fascinating Englishwoman in Bangkok. She was ten yean older than I was, and apparently she'd led a very busy life. It turned out that she was married to someone else, and he surfaced rather unexpectedly while we were happily living together. He was not pleased, and our marriage was annulled. And then I came back here and settled down eventually. I enjoyed some of it, but I'm afraid none of that sounds like real marriage. I've never really tried it right here, or done what was expected of me. And once I inherited the business, I had no time for ail that nonsense. I had no time for anything… except the business. So here I am, ten years later, alone, and very boring.”
“I wouldn't call all that boring… safaris… India … Bangkok.… It's certainly a long way from Illinois, where I come from. I'm the fourth of five children, and I've spent my whole life living on an airport, and I have sixteen nieces and nephews. You don't get much more mundane than that. I'm the first member of my family to go to college, the first woman to fly a plane, the first person to move away, although my father and mother came out from New York, and from Ireland before that. But it's awfully ordinary, and not in the least glamorous or exciting.”
“You're glamorous now, Cass,” he said quietly, watching her. He always seemed interested in her reactions.
“I don't think I am. I know I'm still the girl in the overalls, with grease all over her face.”
“What other people see is very different.”
“Maybe I just don't understand that.”
“You couldn't say we have an awful lot in common,” he said thoughtfully, “but sometimes that works,” he said pensively. “Actually, I'm not sure anymore what works. It's been so long since I even tried to figure it out, I can't remember.” She smiled, and suddenly she felt as though she were being interviewed, but she wasn't sure for what position. “What about you, Cass? Why is it exactly that at the ripe old age of twenty-one and two days, you're not married?” He was only half teasing. He wanted to know just how free she was. He had never been quite sure, although she didn't seem to be too tied to anyone, except maybe the RAF pilot in England.
“No one wants me,” she explained easily and he laughed, and so did she. She was surprisingly comfortable with him.
“Try again.” He lay back on the sand, looking at her, completely amused by her, and very relaxed in her unaffected presence. “Tell me something I'll believe.” She was far too beautiful for no one to want her.
“I mean it. Boys my age are terrified by women pilots. Unless they fly themselves, and then the last thing they want is competition from another pilot.”
“And what about boys my age?” he asked cautious
ly, as she remembered that he was four years younger than Nick, who was thirty-nine now.
“They seem to get upset about the difference in age. At least some of them do, the ones say… four years older than you are.”
“I see. They think you're immature?” But she wasn't that either.
“No, they think they're too old, but haven't come far enough in life and have nothing to offer me. They fly away to England and tell me to go play with kids my own age. No promises. No hope.”
“I see. And do you play with boys your own age?” He was intrigued by her story. He wondered immediately if it was her father's partner at the airport, but he didn't ask her. He assumed it was, after the way the fellow had tried to protect her from him that first day at the airport.
“No,” she said honestly. “I haven't had time for any boys of any age. I've been too busy flying for you, and going to all the social events you think are important.” She also didn't want to be involved with anyone. She was too much in love with Nick to care about someone else, but she didn't say that.
“Social events are important, Cassie.”
“Not to me,” she smiled.
“You can't be easy to please, Miss Cassie O'Malley.
You've been out five nights a week with a different man each night for close to a year now. And no one has struck your fancy?”
“I guess not. Too busy, no time, no interest. They all bore me.” She didn't bother telling him that most of them were male models, or less than masculine actors. Not that it made a difference to her.
“You're spoiled.” He wagged a finger at her, and she laughed at him.
“If I am, it's all your fault. Look what you've done for me, apartments, clothes, all the planes I could ever want to fly, including a diamond one”— she smiled gratefully, she had written him a thank-you note only that morning—” cars… hotels… fancy restaurants… who wouldn't be spoiled after all that?”
“You,” he said simply, telling the truth, and then he pulled her to her feet and they walked further down the beach in their bare feet telling each other silly stories. They had dinner at a little Mexican restaurant near her apartment, and he told her the food was terrible, but she loved it, and then he took her home and promised to call her the next morning.
“I go to work at four,” she said, “I won't be here.”
“So do I,” he smiled, “we must both work for the same tyrant. I'll call you at three-thirty.” She was surprised when he did. He was the oddest person. And so lonely. His stories of his childhood made her heart ache. It was no wonder he had never loved anyone, no one had ever loved him. It made her want to protect him, and undo it all, and yet at the same time he was always doing things for her. He was an unusual combination of warm and cold, invulnerable, and deeply wounded.
He picked her up at the airport that afternoon, and drove her home, but he didn't come in. And from then on, he called her every day, and took her to dinner several times a week in quiet places. He never did anything more than that, and Cassie never felt they were more than friends, but within a short time they were very good ones. He had never mentioned the world tour again, but she thought of it sometimes when she flew, and all of Nick's warnings. She thought he was crazy to have been so worried. Desmond had no desire to do anything that would harm her or push her. He wanted only the best for her. She was sure of that. More than anything, he was her friend now. He turned up at the oddest times, as she climbed out of a plane, or left for work at four in the morning. He was there for her, if she needed him, he never intruded on her, or asked for more than she wanted to give. He seemed to want so little from her, and yet she always sensed his presence.
He brought her new contract to her himself at the end of June, and this time she was amazed at what she saw in it. Most of the terms were the same, except that some of the social events were optional, and the money was doubled. He promised to let her test all their best planes, and wanted her to guarantee that she would do a minimum number of commercials per year. But then the last clause in the contract was the one that stunned her. It stated that for an additional hundred and fifty thousand dollars, plus any additional fees and benefits that accrued from it, he was offering her a world tour within the year, in the best plane they had, on the safest route that could be devised, to be embarked on, on the second of July 1941, almost exactly a year from then, on the anniversary of the day Amelia Earhart disappeared four years before. It was to be the publicity tour of all time, and she would undoubtedly set new records. The prospect of it was enormously tempting, but she thought she ought to discuss it with her father. She was going home that week anyway, for the air show.
“Do you think hell disapprove?” Desmond asked her nervously before she left, looking like a boy who was terrified someone would take his favorite toy from him. And she smiled and tried to reassure him.
“I don't think so. He may think it's dangerous, but if you think it could be done safely, I believe you,” He had never lied to her, never cheated her, never fooled her. He had never disappointed her as a friend, or as an employer. And they spent a great deal of time together. Theirs was a strange relationship for a girl her age, and a man his, it was based only on business and friendship. Nothing more. He had never even tried to kiss her and yet he had wanted to know that she was free. And he had relaxed visibly when he heard she was, with the exception of Nick, who hadn't written to her in months. She knew how violently he would have disapproved of this contract. “My father is pretty reasonable,” she reassured him.
“Cassie, I've always wanted to do this. But there was never anyone who could, or whom I would have trusted, or wanted to work with. I trust you completely. And I've never seen anyone fly a plane the way you do.” She couldn't help being flattered by what he said about her.
“We'll talk about it when I get back,” she promised him. She just needed a few days to think it out, but she was very tempted, and he knew it.
“You're not flying in the air show this year, are you?” He looked worried before he left her, but she was quick to shake her head. Her life was an air show every day, and she hadn't practiced. She just hadn't had time this year, although she was looking forward to going.
“No, but my brother is. God knows why. He doesn't really like to fly, he just does it to please my father.”
“He's no different than the rest of us. I did wrestling at Princeton, because my father had. It's the most disgusting sport in the world, and I hated every minute of it, but I thought he'd be delighted. I'm not sure he ever even knew, and when I think of all the stiff necks and bloody noses I got, not to mention the bruises.” She laughed at his description of it, and she promised him she'd call him from home and tell him about the air show.
“I'll miss you when you're gone, you know. I have no one else to call at three o'clock in the morning.”
“You can call me,” she said generously. “I'll get up to talk to you, it's five o'clock there.”
“Just have fun,” he smiled at her, “and come back and sign on for the world tour. But if you don't,” he suddenly said seriously, “we'll still be friends, you know. I'd understand if you didn't want to do it.” The way he said it made her want to throw her arms around him and tell him she loved him. He was such a solitary soul, and he wanted so badly to do the right thing, and to be fair. He also wanted the world tour so desperately. She really didn't want to disappoint him.
“I'll try not to let you down, Desmond, I promise. I just need some time to think about it.” She was glad she didn't have to face Nick and listen to him erupt like a volcano.
“I understand.” He kissed her on the cheek before she left, and told her to wish her brother luck from him, and she promised she would when she saw him.
She flew home in one of Desmond's twin engine transports and wondered what her father was going to say about the world tour when she asked him. There was no doubt that it was somewhat dangerous, even without the war, and the problems in the Pacific; flying long distance like that could
be disastrous if you didn't know what you were doing, or had incredibly bad luck and hit unexpected storms. Nobody had ever figured out what had happened to Amelia Earthart The disappearance had no rational explanation, except perhaps that she'd run out of fuel and gone down without a trace. It was the only sensible reason anyone could come up with. The wilder theories had their fans, but Cassie had never believed them.
But the world tour gnawed at Cassie all the way home. Dangerous or not, she was aching to do it.
14
The Peoria Air Show was the same wonderful circus that Cassie remembered it to be. She had never been happier than when she stood there with Billy and her father. Her mother and the other girls were off somewhere with the children. And Chris was pacing back and forth nervously eating hot dogs.
“You're making me sick,” Cassie scolded him, and he grinned and bought some cotton candy.
All of their old friends were there, her father's cronies, and the younger flyboys. Most of the flying fanatics from miles around had come to visit the day before, at her father's insistence. The Peoria Air Show was an important event in aviation. There were even a couple of girls this year, in one of the tamer events. And Chris was going for his usual prize for altitude in the last race of the afternoon. It wasn't much of a showstopper, but they both knew it would please their father.
“Don't you want to try something, Sis? Dad could lend you a plane.” The one she had flown east in was far too big, and far too clumsy. And also worth far too much money. And it was Desmond's. She had tested it for him right after she had gone to work for him, and they had only recently perfected her recommended changes. For a girl of twenty-one, she had a remarkably important job; everyone here knew how famous she was now and there was a lot of talk about her being there. At Desmond's suggestion, the wire services had shown up in full force to greet her.
But Cassie was quick to tell her brother she wasn't going to be in the air show. “I'm not good enough anymore. I've been flying these boats all year long, Chris. Besides, I haven't practiced.”
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