Although she wanted to, she couldn’t deny the strong emotions she felt for him. It scared her. She’d been hurt in the past. But hadn’t she prayed incessantly for God to send her a man like Jordan? Still, she needed to be sure that what she felt was real. Her heart couldn’t handle another pummeling.
Once inside, Jordan locked the deadbolt behind them. The latch clicked loudly into place, making her jump. What had she done? Could she really trust him?
Jordan took her hand and led her to the sofa, pulling her down beside him. Her heart started beating out an uncontrollable rhythm. Dear God, she prayed silently, please don’t let him hurt me. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her physically; it was the mental agony she couldn’t handle.
Gathering her other hand in his, he gazed into her eyes. “Jaynee,” he started, then stopped, his lips curving up, “Jaynee and Jordan, it sounds like characters in a story, doesn’t it?”
His smile was wonderful, too good to be true. He didn’t sound like a Marine or a cop. He looked every bit the tough guy, but was a hundred percent gentleman and romantic simultaneously. Although her heart continued to race in her chest, it wasn’t out of nervousness anymore, but anticipation.
Warmth crawled over her cheeks. “Yes, it does.” She glanced at her hands clasped between his.
He released her hands and brushed away the bangs draping over her eyes, then lowered his hands to her waist and pulled her closer.
“Where were we?” he drawled. His mouth moved back over hers, soft, warm, inviting.
She melted under his touch, wondering how this man had escaped every other woman. His tongue slid across her lips, parting them, then slowly circled her tongue. Electricity soared through her under his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling her body closer. His lips were urgent, making her want more. She lowered her hands to his chest and began to unbutton his shirt.
Unexpectedly, he moved his hands from around her waist and gathered both of her wrists. He pulled her hands to his chest, effectively stopping her progress.
Her mind raced. Had she done something wrong?
Jordan’s lips slowed as his mouth progressed the line of her jaw to her ear. “Not tonight, my love,” he whispered through delicate kisses. “Not until you can give me all of you, heart and soul.” He pulled her closer and caressed her hair. His warm breath saturated her neck, sending chills down her spine.
The emotions that raged through her were terrifying. Giving away her body was easy; she couldn’t give up her heart. Never again. Why was he doing this to her?
“Jaynee, I don’t want to scare you, but I have feelings for you. I don’t know how this could happen so fast; it certainly hasn’t ever happened before. But I’m willing to follow through if you will open up.”
What was he implying? He’d mentioned feelings, but had also said ‘my love.’ Warmth overflowed her veins again, and she was positive her heart would pound through her chest. For the first time in years, she wanted to trust someone, wanted to believe. What if she succumbed and he shattered what was left of her sanity? She didn’t possess the strength to resist nor did she want to. But would he get up and leave the moment she disclosed her past?
She gulped. “I don’t know ...” Her throat was so dry; her words came out in a raspy murmur as if she hadn’t spoken all day. “How much do you want to know?”
“Everything.” He leaned back against the arm of the couch and stared into her eyes again. “You’ll have to give up all your demons; I have too much to give. You will have to empty yourself completely to make room for my love.” Jaynee looked down at her lap, and once again, Jordan lifted her chin, forcing her to look at his steel-blue eyes. “I’ve waited for you practically my entire life. I didn’t believe it was possible, but I believe now.” He took her face between both hands as if to give testament to his words. “I have been struck, Jaynee. Not by the proverbial love-at-first-sight or Cupid’s arrow, but by something more powerful.” He took a deep breath and continued, “From the second our eyes met, electricity soared through me, and somehow you became the center of my universe. Nothing else seemed to matter. I wasn’t looking for this. I tried to get up and leave the restaurant the moment it happened, but I couldn’t, even when you turned me down. But the funny thing is ... I saw it in your eyes yesterday, and I see it now. You felt it too, didn’t you?”
Not believing his words, she slowly moved her head back and forth. This couldn’t be real, but how could she deny that she’d felt it too? She was hesitant, but she needed to be truthful. “Yes, but ... it’s not possible —”
He grasped her shoulders and pulled her closer, cutting off her words with a kiss that demanded everything. His mouth enveloped hers, making her want to cry out for more. Once again, though, he pulled back too soon.
“You did experience it?” Jaynee nodded, her mind spinning from the kiss he’d planted on her. He sighed. “Thank God, and you’re not going to dismiss me as if I’m some kind of maniac?”
“No ...” She gulped again, knowing he meant well, but positive he’d leave. “But you still want to hear my story?”
He nodded with a slight tilt of his head. “Yes. I want to take it from you, but only if you’re ready.” He brushed her hair away from her face again and rested his hand against her cheek. “Who hurt you, Jaynee?”
She shook her head. “I’m frightened, Jordan.” She couldn’t reveal her secrets. Acid churned in her stomach at the thought of exposing her skeletons. “I’ve never opened up before and don’t know if I can. I just want to finish college and not have to worry about anything but myself. What if I give you everything inside of me, and then you turn around and hurt me? I can’t handle more heartbreak.” She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to resist, knowing a relationship with him was impossible. “You live in another state for heaven’s sake.”
Jordan waited without saying a word. His eyes looked sincere ... as if he really cared about her. Why? Why did he care?
She heaved a sigh. “It wasn’t just one person. Everyone in my life has hurt me except my grandmother. My parents, family members, so-called friends, my ex-boyfriend, everyone has destroyed a piece of me. I was born a mistake and continue to make horrible decisions.” Tears began to fall again. She dropped her head to shield herself.
He nudged up her chin. “You don’t have to hide from me, Jaynee.” His tone was gentle, reassuring. “And you don’t have to talk now. But I promise I’ll be here when you’re ready.” He stretched out the length of the couch and pulled her down with him. His arm encircled her neck. After wiping away her tears, he grazed his fingertips across her cheekbones and down her jaw. “You’re so beautiful,” he crooned, his words just above a whisper.
She released a nervous chuckle. “Hardly. I’m a blubbering fool.” Her voice was barely audible from the ridiculous tears.
“Will you be my fool then?” He brushed his lips across her forehead. “You don’t have to explain anything. We can start with a clean slate.”
It didn’t seem possible, but he pulled her even closer, and all she could think was that she wasn’t close enough. Maybe if she could bare her soul, she would be closer.
“Why aren’t you taken?” she asked again, the question in her mind that didn’t compute.
He exhaled as he contemplated his answer. “Honestly ... I haven’t found anyone I was interested in.” He tilted up her chin, softly kissed her lips, then pulled back, smiling. “Until now ...”
She couldn’t help but smile, though it was a half-hearted attempt. Could she trust him? His arms felt so wonderful wrapped around her. She wanted to trust him. She wanted to believe he was sincere.
He moved his hand to the back of her head. His hand trailed down her hair and finally rested on her hip. His touch caused her mind to rocket. Feelings she hadn’t considered in ages invaded her senses.
He inhaled deeply before speaking again. “But, I do date ... I just don’t usually make it to a second date. Women I’ve gone out with expect a dumb hick, I supp
ose, and my interests run deeper than most girls can keep pace. But not you ... You held my attention from the first few seconds. And then, when we talked for hours yesterday and there was so much more I wanted to know ... I didn’t want to let you go and hated I didn’t get your phone number. I counted the minutes until the restaurant opened for dinner. Here I go rambling again. I want to hear about you, and I keep doing all the talking.”
Jaynee let out what sounded like a contented sigh — it was a wonderful sound — then she nestled her head further against his chest. He couldn’t help but notice how wonderful it felt to have her in his arms.
“Too good to be true.” Her words muffled against his shirt, and Jordan wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly.
He pulled the afghan off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around her. Pressing his lips to her forehead again, he breathed in the unique vanilla scent. She smelled incredible, and he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted any woman. It had taken every ounce of self-control he possessed to impede her hands. It had been too long, and Jaynee was sexy, warm, and delicate. The thought of making love to her sent his mind and body soaring with desire. More than the physical want, though, was for her to trust and love him. Yes, that’s what he wanted. He wanted to take her home. He wanted her to be his wife. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know her secrets; it didn’t matter that they’d only met yesterday. Nothing mattered other than he couldn’t accept to live without her from this moment. He felt an all-consuming need not only to love her, but also to protect her.
Jaynee’s body went limp with sleep, and her quiet breaths grew soft and even. He wondered if he should leave. She’d mentioned her grandmother lived across the street. What would she think of a strange truck in the driveway?
She’d said that she didn’t date, so he was sure she didn’t make a habit of bringing men home. She was a consenting adult and did have an ex-boyfriend; though, she’d said it singularly, as if there had only been one. He shifted his thoughts. He didn’t want to think about her with another man. The immediate fury that welled up inside of him at just the thought — he cut off the image.
Instead, he looked at the woman in his arms. She would be his, and he didn’t need to worry. He’d never lose control again.
He’d learned to subdue his anger after the last time. The idea of someone he loved looking at him as if he couldn’t be trusted ensured that. It was the main reason he didn’t drink much.
He wasn’t an alcoholic. But when he drank too much, he became either amorous or antagonistic depending on the situation. Either of which could land a man in a heap of trouble. He liked to keep his thoughts clear, and right now, he was thinking crystal clear. Jaynee would be his.
Closing his eyes, he decided to stay. It felt too good holding her. Moreover, maybe he could attain some morning time with her. Tomorrow was a school day, but maybe she’d skip and they could return to the beach she’d mentioned. What had she called it? Honeymoon Island ... how apropos.
***
Kenny’s car crawled through Caycee’s neighborhood for the third time this evening. The truck in her driveway was still there, and it was late. She had an overnight guest.
Brian wouldn’t be happy about that when he called, collect as usual. He’d been furious when he heard about her just having coffee with the guy.
Brian had asked Kenny if she’d received his letter. How the hell am I supposed to know if she got a letter or not? he’d asked him. Stalking his buddy’s ex-girlfriend wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed. If he got caught, he’d end up in jail, right alongside Brian.
It was ridiculous that Brian insisted he drive by the restaurant and her house every night. But he’d agreed to do it. It was the least he could do for his friend who had not given him up as an accomplice. But he knew Brian would turn on him in a heartbeat if Kenny didn’t do what he wanted.
In truth, he didn’t understand Brian’s infatuation. Caycee was good looking, sure, but Brian was obsessed with her. Always saying how “she was his” and “she belonged to him”, it was downright creepy.
It wasn’t as if Kenny was the best dude in the world. He had his share of relationships, but he never carried on so much about one woman. He’d use them and let them go.
But Caycee held some kind of spell over Brian. Not enough to make him stop doing what he wanted, but he’d go crazy if anyone even looked at her.
He remembered one dude who was sitting beside Brian and Kenny at the bar where she used to work. He’d merely commented to his buddy, “I’d like to hit that”.
Any warm-blooded male would. ’Course Kenny knew better than to say it aloud. Brian didn’t say a word to the dude. Instead, he waited until it appeared as though he were leaving. When the man went to the bathroom, Brian dragged Kenny outside.
After getting a tire iron from his car, Brian waited around the side of the building, telling Kenny to keep a lookout. When the dude rounded the corner, Brian grabbed him and beat the crap out of him. He never hit him on the head, but the dude sure wasn’t going to be able to walk or write for a while. Brian hadn’t uttered a word or stolen the man’s wallet, and it was too dark to ID him, so the crime had gone down as a hate crime. Kenny knew better. It was a crime of passion; Brian was obsessed.
As Kenny drove away from Caycee’s house, he scrolled through his playlist on his iPod for Korn. He needed to clear his mind. The guitar solo in Did my Time stole his cares away for a few minutes, but then he thought about what Brian would ask of him.
Brian wouldn’t be happy about Caycee’s new beau. He wondered what he would expect him to do. Kenny couldn’t beat down someone with a tire iron. He was a petty thief, nothing more, just enough to survive. All he needed was enough money to smoke a little weed, get drunk, and skim and surf when the waves were up.
Brian was the big-money guy. Always wanting more, always needing more. Intelligent too ... smarter than Kenny could ever be, but he’d gotten busted and would be away for five years. He expected Caycee to wait, even though she’d broken off their relationship almost six months before his arrest. Kenny knew Brian wouldn’t accept the idea of her dating again. He was fine as long as she didn’t date anyone else, and she hadn’t, until now.
Chapter Five
Three days ago ...
Jaynee heard Jordan’s whispered words, but they sounded distant. He wanted her to wake up. She attempted to open her eyes, but they were heavy, as if a massive wool blanket was smothering her.
She tried to roll over, but she couldn’t feel her hands, her feet ... or any other part of her body for that matter. Muffled sounds filled the air, but they were difficult to discern. They sounded far away, as though they were outside her wool cocoon.
Where was she? How did she get here? She tried to call for Jordan, but her lips wouldn’t respond either. Would he even rescue her from her prison? She vaguely recalled that he was angry, but she couldn’t remember why.
Her entire body felt numb. The only thing she felt was her head and it started pounding uncontrollably. Without warning, the throbbing increased, and she cried out in the darkness for relief. The voices were closer now, but they weren’t helping. The pain was unbearable. It felt as if something were crushing her head in a vice. Her screams echoed inside this fleeced darkness, making the pain worse.
“What’s happening?” Jordan wailed as several nurses rounded the corner when the alarms pierced the silent space.
The first nurse who entered, pushed by him, flashing a penlight in Jaynee’s eyes. Another nurse checked the wires connected to Jaynee’s head, but then suddenly whipped around to look at the screen. The P.A. who’d been attending to Jaynee earlier ran into the room.
Jordan stood up, staring in horror as they bustled around his wife, rearranging wires as if they were going to take her away from him.
Jaynee was hurting. She hadn’t moved, but her features creased as if she were in pain. He stepped forward. “Is she —”
“Sit down, sir!” The male P.A. demanded, then star
ted shouting orders to the nurses as they wheeled her out of the room and down the corridor.
Jordan jumped up from the chair and sped toward the door, following his wife at a distance, but then the hospital staff charged through the double doors of the O.R. Jaynee was going back to surgery again? What had gone wrong?
He had been talking to her, holding her hand just minutes ago. The machines had maintained a steady rhythm, lulling him into a near slumber. It had been almost seven hours since her surgery when her eyes had started darting under her lids. He had begged her to wake up ... apologized for pushing her to this extreme. He’d been sure she was coming around until the alarm had sounded.
Unwilling to bear her empty room, he made his way to the private waiting area and dropped into one of the chairs. Dear God, I can’t lose her, he prayed silently. He hadn’t stopped praying all night, but he wasn’t sure God was listening. After all, he’d been the one who had gotten drunk and told her to leave.
After pacing the floor of the waiting room for three torturously long hours, Jordan got frustrated and searched for someone who could give him information.
“Michelle!” He spotted the nurse who’d been in Jaynee’s room earlier. He’d spoken with her in the past. She’d always been rather flirtatious. Maybe he could glean some information from her. “Is there anything new? Is Jaynee out of surgery yet?” Not wanting to cry in front of the hospital staff, he blinked to dry his eyes. He had to keep himself together. He had to remain strong for Jaynee.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Monroe. There’s nothing new I can tell you. Dr. McMullen will notify you the moment your wife is out of surgery. Please go back to the waiting room.” The nurse’s eyes were kind, but demanding. She wouldn’t share any information even if she had any.
Jordan felt alone. His sisters had come earlier, but had to return to their families. His mother had stayed beside him, but she had to check on his grandmother who was too sick to leave the house. He’d informed Jaynee’s family of the accident, but then begged them not to come. The hospital would only allow two people at a time in her room, and he couldn’t imagine having to deal with his mother-in-law’s drama. Certainly, she would make everything about her.
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