“I don’t think I can do this shit, man,” I confessed my fear out loud for the first time, my tone sobering the happy moment, abruptly causing Sebastian to freeze mid-chuckle.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Range? Do what?”
“How can I be a good husband, the sort of husband Clover deserves? Look at my past, Sebastian. I come from a shithole trailer park with a broken-down drunk for a father who never gave a shit about anyone but himself. That doesn’t exactly scream Ward Cleaver.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? That’s the shit that has you worried about getting married?” His tone was sharp, offended by my statement. He posted his arms on his hips and gave me a look that screamed “idiot” as he shook his head at my self-deprecating statement.
“Look, Range, you’re my brother and I love you, so I’m only gonna say this shit one time, so you better listen up good, you feel me?” I nodded my head yes, knowing that whatever Sebastian was about to say would come from a place of love and support. His big heart was the backbone of our family. Without it, we would all succumb to the trials of life.
“How fucking dare you discount all the accomplishments you’ve achieved in your life? You think just any man would have been able to overcome all that shit and not want to blow his own fucking brains out? If all you turned out to be were the son of a drunken bum, you never would have gotten Clover to love you in the first place. No fucking way would a woman like her fall for that type of man, and you damn well know it.” He was right about that. My woman would have kept right on walking when I showed up at Foster’s to drive her home. She was too smart not to see through bullshit, even when it was my own. It still didn’t hide the fact that she was the epitome of perfection, while I was a cautionary tale.
“I hear what you’re saying, man, I get all that. It’s just, Clover is so…”
“What? In love with you?” he interrupted. ”Worships the ground you walk on? Your fucking soul mate? Where did this self-pitying bullshit coming from? I’ve never known you to doubt yourself like this before, and frankly, it’s starting to bug the shit outta me.” He was right to feel frustrated with me. Self-doubt was never something I subscribed to in my life. Buck taught all his boys to reach for what we wanted, take it if we had to, as long as the end result was the same: success. In Buck’s mind, failure was akin to castration for a man. Giving up made you a pussy and unworthy of the bounty. He pushed us hard, instilling a sense of purpose. “Earn your prize, boys,” he always said, and we felt proud each and every time we accomplished our goals because we worked our asses off for them. “Don’t expect a handout in this world. People give fuck all about the next man. You gotta fight for it, boys.”
Buck would shit himself if he knew I was acting like such a fucking pussy over a woman. Clover was mine, and I intended to keep it that way for as long as we both shall live. If life decided to deal us lemons, I would blast those fuckers with my nine millimeter and send them straight to hell. Clover was my life. Without her, it just wasn’t worth living.
“Yeah, you’re right, man. Guess I’m just getting a little nervous with it getting so close and all. Thanks for the pep talk, brother, I needed that.” Sebastian shook his head and creased his brow.
“We’re not gonna hold hands and start sharing makeup tips now, are we?” I had to smile at the serious look he gave me.
“What? Fuck, no, dumbass. Are you crazy?” We left Buck’s room, closing the door behind us, leaving that ill-fated conversation locked away and forgotten, exactly where it belonged.
“I won’t blow you either. You’re pretty and you’ve got that great hair going for you, but I got a woman now, and I need to save all my loving for her.”
“Right…you mean the whole three inches worth.” I gave him a quick jab to the shoulder.
“Whatever, man. You wish your cock were as big as mine. I got a motherfucking boa constrictor locked away in here.” He grabbed his junk and adjusted it to the opposite side of his pants.
“What the fuck ever, asshole. Get outta here before I crack your skull.” And just like that, I was back to my old self again, ready for my woman to come home so I could fuck her brains out. My future wife. Hmm, I liked the sound of that.
Chapter 3
Clover
“Get the fuck down!”
Someone was shouting at me, but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. Get down? Why did they want me to get down? It was dark, pitch black, yet I felt warm and cozy as I tried to make my way around that quiet room with no lights. I could smell something burning, like hair left too long under an iron, yet it was sweet like chocolate and candy. I was in Foster’s Confections, but what the hell was I doing there and why were the lights off? “Hello?” I said it out loud, yet no words could be heard; just the smell and the warmth of being held closely by someone, but who? Suddenly, the sweet smell was gone, replaced by something metallic and strong, overpowering my senses, causing panic to engulf me. I tried to run, but my legs wouldn’t carry me. I could only stand there in the darkness, hoping for someone to come and get me. Where was Range? I needed him desperately to take me away from this place. I’d call to him and he’d come for me. He just had to. Please, Range, please. I’m afraid.
“Tootsie baby, wake up.” Someone was shaking me by the shoulders.
“Range? What is it? What’s happening?” He was holding me by my arms as he gave me one last light shake that finally woke me from my nightmare. Range was leaning over me in the glow of the bedside light that was on and shining directly in my eyes. I felt a sheen of sweat across my forehead, and my hair was sticking to the back of my neck as if I’d just stepped out of the shower. One look at his concerned facial expression, and I knew I’d been having another one of my night terrors. The reality of that fact caused the flood gates to open, and I started to weep uncontrollably as Range held me in his strong arms and pressed my face securely against his naked chest, where I could hear his steady heartbeat.
“Shhh, don’t cry, baby. It’s okay. I’m right here,” he whispered as he stroked the hair from my face and looked into my eyes. I felt the safety of his embrace immediately, and my temporary breakdown soon came to an end as I held on to him until I was able to breathe deeply again. Range let me go for a moment to retrieve a damp cloth from the bathroom to gently wash my tear-stained face and remove the disgusting sweat from my neck and shoulders. I finally felt at ease enough to adjust myself to an upright position and sat up straight with my back against the headboard of our bed.
“You wanna tell me what the dream was about? You were calling for me to come and get you, and, baby, I gotta tell ya, that shit scared the fuck outta me.” Range took my hands in his as he sat next to me and waited patiently for me to reply. I knew how hard this was for him to understand. He would slay a dragon to protect me. But how could he save me from myself? My mind was playing tricks on me, sending me to this dark place all alone where no one could reach me. For a man like Range, fighting for the woman he loved was second nature, and realizing that he couldn’t stop this madness left him frustrated and searching for answers. I felt so stupid that I allowed a silly dream to upset him so much that I hesitated to tell him what it was all about.
“It’s the same dream over and over again, Range. I’m somewhere in the dark all alone and no one can find me.” I played it off like it was no big deal, but deep down I knew he would never let it go.
“Think maybe it’s time you talked to someone about it, baby.”
“You mean like a shrink? I’m not crazy, Range, it’s just a stupid dream.” He took a deep breath as he absorbed my adamant refusal. We were getting married in a few weeks. I didn’t have time for this nonsense. Whatever was going on with me would just have to wait until after I was Mrs. Range Reardon. Nothing was gonna stop me from walking down that aisle. Nothing.
“I know you’re not crazy, baby. Jesus, I just want you to talk to a professional about how these dreams are messing with your head. It’s been going on for m
onths now, ever since the shooting. It’s time, baby.” He looked so earnest in his request, I couldn’t say no. He loved me to the moon and back, and it would be completely selfish of me not to take his feelings into consideration. As much as I didn’t want to seek professional help, I had to for both our sakes.
“Okay. I’ll call around tomorrow and make an appointment. Would that make you feel better?” Range exhaled the breath he was holding, a clear indication he was relieved I agreed to his request. His tight muscles sagged from the stressful weight he had been carrying, and he smiled at me for the first time since we started this conversation in the early morning hours. The last thing I ever wanted to do was cause my man to hurt on my behalf, whether it was my physical or mental state that was the cause of his pain. He meant more to me than anything else in this world, and right now, I needed him to feel good, about me, about us, about our future together.
“Come back to bed now, Range. I want to show you something.” I pulled back the covers as an invitation for him to climb back in. He was gloriously naked, his body on full display as the dim light of the bedroom cast a shadow over his perfectly sculptured physique. I needed to feel closer to him, as close as one could get without ripping open his chest and climbing inside. As soon as his back hit the mattress, I pounced on him like a woman possessed. His warm chest felt perfect under my fingertips as I splayed my hands across his muscled chest and tight abs. I lowered my face to the crux of his neck and inhaled deeply. His one of-a-kind scent engulfed my senses and filled me with a feeling of uncontrollable arousal.
“I love the way you smell. I can’t describe it, but it does crazy things to me,” I confessed as I continued to sniff him all over.
“Oh, yeah, baby? What sort of things?” His voice was husky, and I knew this was turning him on as much as I was. I wiggled my hips on his waist as a sign that I wanted more than just to smell him. I wanted to feel him in every possible way. He rewarded me with a low moan deep within his chest, and I slithered my way down his belly until my face was inches away from his lovely cock.
Range was beautiful everywhere, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. There wasn’t a piece of him that wasn’t edible. I snaked my tongue out of my mouth and gave his ball sack a mighty lick as I carefully sucked it into my mouth and hummed in satisfaction. I reached up with my hand and palmed his shaft, giving it a gently tug as I continued to suck and lick as Range began to move his hip in tandem with my ministrations. There was no better feeling in the world than knowing that I could give my man the pleasure he so richly deserved, and tonight, I planned on doing just that. My body was heating up to a slow simmer with Range as the catalyst, all for me, to do with what I wanted.
“Do you like that, my love, or do you want me to stop?” I stroked him slowly as I teased his senses with a slow lick of his slit and a simple kiss to the top of his cockhead.
“No way, baby. Don’t you fucking dare stop, tootsie baby.” His response made me smile, and I bowed my head once again to his jutting cock and took him all the way into my mouth until he hit the back of my throat. The salty taste of his pre-cum made my taste buds sing hallelujah as I took him deeper and deeper, sucking and stroking as I added just the right amount of pressure. Range hissed as he grabbed a handful of my hair and fed me that last inch of his dick, causing me to gag just a little. I pulled back and lapped the head with my tongue while licking along the slit before sucking him back down my throat once again on a low hum.
“Jesus, baby, you’re getting so fucking good at that…don’t stop.” Range was breathless as I continued to devour him. His groans of pleasure were enough to have me clenching my thighs, a desperate attempt at finding my own relief from the flood of arousal and my throbbing clit. Range caught me reaching between my legs and abruptly removed his cock from my mouth, flipping me over the side of the bed, where I landed on my stomach with my ass sticking straight up in the air.
“Not gonna come in your mouth, tootsie baby…wanna come in that sweet cunt of yours.”
“Yes, please…please, Range, do it now.” I hoisted my hips completely from the mattress, leaving only my shoulders and forehead touching it as I presented my ass to him like an offering to the gods. Range rubbed the head of his cock against my soaking opening, and I pushed back against him until he impaled me in one hard thrust. Sweet lord above, this was what I needed the most, the fullness of him, the heat of his chest against my back, and the love that spewed from his embrace. His huge body was hovering completely over my small one, but I didn’t mind the feeling one bit. It’s what I lived for. He didn’t thrust once he was seated; instead, he moved the hair from my face and neck and kissed me gently as he held me impossibly close to his warm chest and sighed in complete contentment.
“I love you, Clover Benjamin…with all my soul,” he whispered into the darkness.
“And I love you back, Range Reardon…will all my heart.”
Chapter 4
Range
My brother was coming home today, safe and sound from his military service in the Marines. I was happy as fuck when he told me his discharge would happen before my wedding day. I couldn’t imagine not having him standing next to me as I took my vows to my beautiful Clover. Max continued to remain elusive, and his absence from the wedding party would be deeply felt. The decision we made not to allow him back into our home was the hardest thing we ever had to do as a family. He was a part of us after all, but his actions surrounding Mitch and Ashley could not be ignored and it was time he took some responsibility for his fucked-up decisions. Months of trying to force his hand had gotten us nowhere. Maybe now he’d reach out to us as we’d so desperately tried to reach out to him.
Memory wasn’t due to arrive for a couple of hours, so I decided to take a trip over to Oak Lawn Cemetery for a quick visit with Buck. I tried to make it over there at least once a month to tidy up around his resting place and add fresh flowers to his grave. Buck and flowers, what a fucking oxymoron. He was probably laughing his ass off wherever he was, calling me a pussy for thinking like a chick. That grumpy bastard thought everything was soft: puppies, babies, hell, even old ladies. If it couldn’t carry a gun, he had absolutely no use for it. His words, not mine. How he managed to have a stupid cat was beyond me, considering he hated most animals, too. I chalked that up to one of those big questions we’d never know the answer to, like where was Jimmy Hoffa?
I pulled my truck into the wrought iron gates of the cemetery, completely mesmerized by the landscape of this place. As cemeteries went, this was right up there with the best of them. The grass was impeccably manicured, the road was recently paved, and the shrubs were trimmed to a perfect oval shape, allowing a clear view of all the headstones. I made a mental note to have my body buried here as well, just because the place was so beautiful. More pussy talk. What a day.
I jumped out the truck, carrying the flowers I purchased earlier, and made my way over the steep hill that led to Buck’s grave. It was so damn quiet and peaceful out here. I took a seat on the ground next to the headstone and spoke to my father as if he were right there next to me.
“Hey, you old bastard, glad to see they haven’t kicked you outta this place.” I took a much-needed deep breath to control my emotions and filled him in on everything that’s been happening.
“Well, I guess you heard I asked Clover to marry me. Damn crazy woman didn’t give it a second thought before she said yes. I hate to say it, but I guess you were right about me gettin’ married someday.” I pictured Buck standing proud and tall with his arms folded across his barreled chest, smirking as he said, “Told your dumb ass some crazy bitch would get her hooks into ya. Better not blow it, boy. Happy for you.” He never let us forget he was always right about everything, especially women. I continued with the rest of the news.
“Clover’s planning this big-ass wedding with all her family and friends. Won’t admit this to her, but I wish we could just run off somewhere and do it ourselves, just the two of us. Remember that time
you took us all camping overnight by the lake? A bunch of hormonal fourteen-year-old knuckleheads who thought we knew what we wanted in a dream girl? We were so fucking wrong.
“Did you see that chick at the gas station? Her tits looked like two football helmets.” After an hour, we finally got the campfire going and were sitting around roasting hotdogs when Max made his perverted observation about some girl we saw when we stopped for gas at the station on our way there.
“She was okay, I guess. I like redheads better.” Marcus was blushing something awful, attempting to hide his face as he looked away from the rest of us.
“Is that because Maribel has red hair?” Max teased him. “She’s too young for you anyway, but that girl at the gas station? I’d love to take her out for a spin.” Max was grinning like a fool, and since I knew for a fact we were all virgins, he must have meant a spin on his bicycle and definitely not his dick.
“I don’t think girls like to have their private parts talked about that way. Mother and Aunt Enid always stress the importance of treating girls with respect and courtesy.” Sebastian was frowning at Max’s crude remarks.
“Don’t be such a pussy, Sebastian. Chicks dig dudes who talk about their tits. Just ask Buck.” Max pointed over to Buck, who was finishing setting up our tents for the night. He walked over just in time to chime in on our little conversation about girls and their privates.
“What the fuck you going on about over here, Max?” Buck replied in a huff.
“I was just telling the guys how chicks like it when you talk about their tits. Tell them it’s true, Buck. Tell them.” We all waited as Buck took a seat on the ground next to us and started to roast his own hot dog. He thought long and hard before he gave us the answer to Max’s question, which shocked the hell outta me. Normally, he couldn’t wait to brag about his previous women who hung around his old motorcycle clubhouse. Once he got married, he gave all that up, but that never stopped him from reminiscing about the good old days.
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