Surrender: Keeping Her in the Dark Vol. 4

by Leslie Sansom

  “Wait,” I held up my hand. “You have to help me! I need to tell my husband about this baby and I need to do it soon.”

  “So do it tonight. Make him a dinner with baby peas, baby carrots and baby spinach. Then tell him you have something to tell him and the clue is in the meal,” she smiled.

  “It’s a cute idea. But first of all, peas, carrots and spinach are not a meal. So he would know something was up as soon as he saw there wasn’t any meat on the table. Second, that kind of thing is something you do when being pregnant is good news.”

  “This isn’t good news?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” I replied. “Like I said, I’m scared to tell him.” I held up my hand. “Don’t get me wrong, Liam has come a long way when it comes to letting people in his life.” I nodded my head out to the store where Marcus was cutting fresh flowers for our table display.

  “It seems he takes in any stray dog off the street these days,” I paused and looked back at Kelly. “But having people around us, making friends…it isn’t the same thing as having a child.”

  “I get it,” she nodded. “I say just be honest. Be straight. Just blurt it out.”

  “That’s what I’m going to have to do, because if I keep thinking about it, I’ll never tell him.” She started out of my office again ad then turned back to face me.

  “Just to be clear, I’m not one of the stray dogs right?”

  “Absolutely not,” I blew her an air kiss.

  I met up with Jane for lunch and took Marcus shopping for some flowers to take over to Gerald. We talked a little bit and then I headed home, to prepare for the most awkward conversation of my life.

  Rosa spent most of her time at the hospital so I made dinner myself. I made a lasagna and garlic bread. Everything was in the oven and I was cutting vegetables for a salad when I heard voices in the foyer. I wiped my hands on my apron and walked through the dining room to the foyer.

  Liam, Will and Jane were standing there all talking and laughing.

  “Well hello,” I walked over and kissed Jane on the cheek and then Will kissed mine.

  “I hope its ok, darling. I brought some friends over for dinner,” Liam kissed my cheek. “You smell like garlic,” he whispered.

  “I made lasagna and garlic bread.”

  “I’m going to make myself a drink. I hope you don’t mind,” Will said and he and Jane walked into the study.

  “Are you ok? You look a little pale.” He put his hand against my forehead like he was taking my temperature.

  “Do you have any idea what you are feeling for?” I asked.

  “No. Actually I don’t,” he took his hand away and smiled.

  “I’m fine. I just didn’t eat any lunch. I’m gonna go finish the salad and I’ll be in in a minute,” he gave me another kiss and went to be with Will and Jane.

  Well there goes another attempt down the drain. I had finally worked up the courage and now I just had to swallow it.

  “Dammit,” I said to myself. “Who knows when I will get the courage again,” I huffed. “The kid will be in high school and I’ll have to convince Liam he is just another person that works for us,” I chuckled.

  “Who are you talking to?” Jane asked. I jumped at the sound of her voice.

  “Oh, no one. Just myself,” I went back to chopping vegetables. Jane took a carrot from the veggies I was cutting up and started biting into it.

  “So we didn’t get to talk that much at lunch today with my cell phone going off every two minutes. How are you, girl?”

  “I’m good. I mean, every once in a while I will see something, not anything that matters, it could be as stupid as a stapler….and I think about him,” I looked off in a daze. “I think about how I took his life with my own hands.” I looked back at Jane. “He’ll never get married, have children, or buy another Christmas present. All because of me,” I started chopping again.

  “He’ll also never rape another girl, beat another girl, or kidnap another girl,” she said. Jane took my hands and made me stop working on the vegetables.

  “Norah, you did the right thing. If you hadn’t stopped him he would have hurt you.” I nodded and took my hands away. “Are you talking to someone?” she asked. I turned back to face her.

  “Will mentioned that Liam was seeing a therapist and thought you should being seeing one too. Are you?” she asked and crossed her arms against her chest.

  “Ahhh, no. Well not officially. I mean I talked to my friend back home and I’ve talked to Kelly about it. But not a real therapist.”

  “Does Liam know?” she asked.

  “Well there hasn’t been time since the whole thing with Gerald. Everything was up in the air while we were both MIA. Then we came back tried to get everything back to normal, and Gerald got sick. We haven’t really discussed it again.” I gave her a half smile. “Dinner’s ready,” I took the salad bowl and went to the dining room.

  We laughed all the way through dinner. Will and Jane kept telling funny stories about their very long vacation.

  Will laid in the sun and got third degree burns. Jane dove off a diving board and lost her top. The boat left them in the middle of the ocean when they went scuba diving and they had to swim back two miles. Will ordered a drink that the bartender lit on fire and it also lit up the hair piece of the man sitting next to him at the bar.

  All the stories kept us rolling. But I noticed the lack of Josie. No one mentioned her. I wanted to ask but I figured it would be brought up by someone. So I waited.

  “So how is your butler?” Will asked.

  “He’s better. He is still on oxygen but he’s getting stronger. I ordered special furniture for his house today and it should be delivered before he gets out.”

  “That’s great. Really great,” Jane said.

  “So is anyone going to mention the huge elephant in the room?” Liam asked. Everyone got quiet.

  “Liam,” I said. “It isn’t our business,” I grabbed his hand. He looked over and smiled at me.

  “You’re talking about Josie?” Will said.

  “Yes I am. I’m sure there’s a good explanation.”

  “Liam, they don’t need an explanation,” I squeezed his hand.

  “Oh, but he’s got one,” he kept looking at Will.

  “She went home for a while. She said she needed a break. I think she wants to enroll in some college classes or something. Anyway, she’ll be back after the summer.” He took a sip from his drink.

  “So any other big news?” Jane asked. It shocked me. I choked on my water. I was in the middle of taking a sip when she asked the question and inhaled at the same time. I started coughing.

  “Norah?” Liam said. He reached over and rubbed my back. I coughed a little more and wiped my mouth.

  “I’m fine,” I managed to get out.

  “You didn’t want any wine?” Liam asked me. He must have just noticed I was the only one at the table not drinking alcohol.

  “Ahh, no. I had a headache earlier and wine makes it worse,” I made a quick excuse. Jane gave me a look when she took a sip from her glass. I tried not to make eye contact. Kelly and Tiffany already knew. I couldn’t have Jane knowing too. There was no way she could keep a secret.

  Liam

  Having Will and Jane over for dinner had been a last minute decision. It was nice to sit and talk about things that really didn’t matter.

  I shut the door after we said our good byes and turned to Norah.

  “Are you ok?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “You were quiet at dinner,” I said.

  “I’m just tired,” she said. I walked closer to her.

  “Does that mean no fun time for me tonight?” I gave her a kiss on her forehead.

  “Fun time for you, is usually fun time for me too. And I never deny you, you know that…” but before she could finish I put my hand over her mouth.

  “How about we take a long hot bath and then I give you a massage to put you to sleep.�
�� She wrapped her arms around my neck.

  “Thank you,” she huffed. We headed up the stairs.

  “I may or may not put my face between your legs,” I said quietly. She turned to face me.

  “I just wanted to warn you,” I shrugged.

  She nestled herself between my legs in the tub. I ran my hands over her body with the soap suds.

  “Your skin is beautiful. So silky,” I whispered.

  I washed her hair and massaged her neck and shoulders.

  “Norah, the other night you said you had something you wanted to discuss with me. Do you want to discuss it now?”

  “Do I have to?” she questioned. She leaned forward and I ran my hands over her back.

  “No. Not if you don’t want to, little one.” She nodded and closed her eyes again. “Norah, you know you can tell me anything right?”

  “Yes,” she said quietly. But I wondered if she knew that to be true. I could feel the tention in her shoulders. I could see the concern on her face. She had something important to tell me, but she was holding back for some reason. I hoped she wasn’t scared to talk to me.

  We got out of the tub and I dried Norah off myself. This was something I liked to do. I loved to run my hands over her body anytime she would allow me. When I got to her hips and stomach I noticed a little more weight. It wasn’t much but enough for me to notice.

  I had memorized her body. Every inch. I knew every curve and every crease.

  She had gained a little weight. Maybe just 5 or 6 lbs, but I could tell. It didn’t bother me at all. Norah was naturally slender. She ran and did yoga to keep in shape. Truth be told she could stand to gain about 15 lbs. But she had always been slender.

  After our breakup and months of being apart she had lost weight and again I could tell. When I got her back from Nick, she had lost weight. It seemed when something was bothering her, she stopped eating. But not this time. Something was bothering her. Something she needed to discuss with me, but this time she had gained about 6 lbs over it.

  I continued drying her off and didn’t mention it. No man should ever mention a woman gaining weight. Not unless he wanted to lose his life. I wanted to keep all of my teeth, so I wasn’t about to say anything. Norah was still beautiful.

  Maybe this is why she was so concerned about getting older. She was already gaining weight and she was worried about not being attractive to me.

  I had no idea what it was that was bothering her. She would tell me when she was ready.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Norah

  My office was finally back to normal. I spent my mornings doing paperwork and answering emails. I made calls in the afternoon tracking down things for events. When I found what I was looking for I ran errands before I went home.

  I tracked down rare flowers, impersonators, people who made balloon animals, canning jars that looked like tomatoes, and sticks that looked like Harry Potter’s wands.

  I was back to my lunches with Jane but now usually Marcus joined us.

  Liam had hired Marcus for his office, but Marcus fit in better with mine. He was very creative and loved to get his hands dirty making things. He had become part of my party set up team. He wanted to learn to plan parties too, but he liked the work more. Plus, Liam had 4 secretaries. He said it was because one gal couldn’t handle all the work. But I knew better. He liked looking at beautiful women. End of story.

  Gerald was still recovering but he was home now. Rosa still spent most of her time with him all day, Kelly was doing a great job managing my office and Marcy was back to work.

  I thought Liam was going to duct tape her to her desk when she finally came back. We planned a small breakfast party the day she returned. She was so shocked. She started crying the night before her return and called Liam to tell him she couldn’t leave her son all day. Liam told her she could bring a crib to work and set it up by her desk. He graveled. She caved.

  I had two meetings in the afternoon about rental space and a meeting with a couple about planning their wedding. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to check my makeup.

  “Hey, Norah?” I heard Kelly’s voice from my office door. I stuck my head out of the bathroom.

  “There is a Holly Freeman here to see you,” she paused. “She says she knows you from...” I stopped her.

  “Send her in,” I waved. “Can you tell Tim he’s gonna have to go to the Timbers meeting for me?” she nodded and opened the door a little wider. A very young looking girl walked in the room. Her hair was light brown and came to the middle of her back. Her eyes were crystal blue. She was petite.

  She looked shorter than me and younger. She was wearing low cut jeans and two black tank tops, one over the other.

  “I’m sorry to just show up like this,” she said. “Are you Norah Chandler?” she asked but she didn’t make eye contact.

  “Norah Hastings,” I corrected. She slowly looked up at me.

  “I just wanted to come by and thank you,” she said.

  “Please come in,” I motioned for her to sit in front of my desk. She walked over and took a seat.

  “I didn’t do anything. I tried, but,”

  “You saved me,” she interrupted. “If you hadn’t of found me, he would have killed me,” she whispered.

  “I just,” I started again and again she interrupted me.

  “You just saved me. I’m just sorry about what happened to you,” she said. “I could hear you,” I didn’t let her finish.

  “It’s over. Done. I’m over it,” I lied. “Or getting over it,” a little more true. “But you didn’t need to come here and thank me.” She looked down again. “But I’m glad you did,” I added. “Let’s go get some lunch,” I grabbed my purse from the credenza behind me and motioned for her to come with me.

  I took her to my favorite café. She didn’t say anything on the car ride and even after we got our drinks we just sat in silence. I decided to break the silence.

  “So I don’t know much about you. Tell me about yourself,” I said. She looked up at me.

  “I did this to myself. I got what I asked for.” I was very confused but let her finish. “I got into this lifestyle at a young age.” Like she was old now. “I mean really young. I like it,” she shrugged. “I liked being dominated. I can’t explain it, I just did.”

  “I was very lucky. I managed to make some money working in sex clubs and doing private parties too. I started having one master for weekends or whatever and it was fun. One of my first masters told me I looked so young I should lie about my age. Men like young women,” she paused.

  “16 is not a woman,” I interrupted.

  “True,” she gave me a smile like she knew that but didn’t care. “I like sex. I like men pretending I am their young little under aged play thing. I know it’s sick. But I like it and they like it, nothing wrong with a little role playing.” She still had a sick smile on her face.

  “Until I met Nick, that is,” her smile dropped. “All the other men asked me what I wanted or would do. We had arrangements and agreements. I knew what they expected from me and they knew my limits.” She gulped down her breath. “But Nick didn’t ask. He didn’t care. He never gave me a safe word, never asked me about limits, he never did anything like that. I knew I was in trouble, but I couldn’t stop him.” She started to cry a little. I reached out my hand and touched hers. “I had been warned about this kind of dominant. I had met girls that had had bad experiences with other masters. But I didn’t think it would ever happen to me.” She gave me a half smile.

  Our food came and we both started to eat.

  “How did you know Nick?” she asked. It was a story I didn’t want to re-live, but after what she had told me, I thought I owed it to her.

  “I met him through my husband. They use to be friends actually. I guess they were the kind of friends that were always in competition with each other. Nick wasn’t happy when Liam,” I looked up from my food. “Liam is my husband. When Liam and I,” I paused again. “Came together
, Nick was jealous. I tried to give him a chance. I guess his obsession with me meant more. But he hurt me too. He kept saying he wanted what Liam and I have together, but I don’t think that’s true.” I played with my salad.

  “He was a very good looking and charming man. Things could have been different for him. He was just wired wrong, I guess.

  He would rather hurt someone than get to know them.”

  “How did you meet your husband? I mean if he and Nick were friends, how is it your guy married you and Nick just liked to hurt women?”

  I laughed a little. Liam liked to hurt women too. When we first met, hurting me was all he wanted to do. But something in him changed.

  “He bought me,” I said bluntly. “He bought me in an auction and then I slowly got under his skin,” I rolled my eyes. “It’s a long story. One for another time,” I added. “But Liam could have gone another way. He could have been like Nick. There was a time I thought he was like him. He hurt me and he wanted to hurt me. He wanted to make me cry. But then it stopped. He stopped. Everything changed. Now we’re married and...” I stopped myself from finishing that sentence.

  “I don’t know much about Nick’s home life. But Liam had good people around him. He had people around him who loved him and brought out the good in him.”

  “Maybe Nick didn’t have that,” Holly added.

  “Maybe not,” I agreed.

  “Liam was going to buy me wasn’t he?” she asked. It shocked me to hear her say that because she was bought by Nick the day before. She had never even met Liam.

  “Nick told me,” she explained. “Nick said when he saw me he knew ‘his friend’,” she used her fingers to add quotes, “would fall in love with me. He said I reminded him of ‘her’,” she used her fingers again.

  I looked in her eyes and at her face. We looked at each other. Did we really look alike? I could see in our coloring and a little around the eyes, but hers were bright blue and mine were…not. Our hair was pretty much the same and we had the same little petite body. She just looked a lot younger. Like a teenage, blue eyed version of me.