Surrender: Keeping Her in the Dark Vol. 4

by Leslie Sansom

  “Ignore it,” he shouted.

  “I see you got a new phone,” I pointed at his new Android on the table.

  “Marcy took care of it. Tell me what’s wrong,” he asked again. “You aren’t still thinking about the girl are you?”

  “No it isn’t that,” I shook my head. His phone started buzzing again. “Dammit,” I held out my hand. “Just answer it,” I said.

  “Fuck,” he huffed. He crawled to the other side of the bed and grabbed the phone off the side table. “What?” he yelled.

  “What did you say? He did what? When? Where are you taking him? I’ll be right there,” he slammed the phone down. “Something’s wrong with Gerald. He isn’t feeling well. They are taking him to the hospital.” He walked around to my side of the bed.

  “Norah, I hate to ask you this, but can this wait until later,” he asked.

  “Yes of course,” I said. “I’ll get dressed and we can go right now,” I went to the closet to put some clothes on and I heard his phone buzz again.

  “Hastings?” he said a loud. “Really now? Can’t this wait? Fine. Fine. I’ll stop by before I head out.” I came out of the closet zipping up my jeans and wiggling my feet into my Keds.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know. Something happened at the office. A pipe broke and the basement has flooded. I have the main key to the system.” He slipped on his pants.

  “I’ll run by the office and make sure everything is turned off, then I will meet you at the hospital. Once they tell us what is wrong with Gerald and that he is ok. Then I promise,” he touched the sides of my face. “We will sit down and have a long talk,” he kissed my forehead.

  I went straight to the hospital. I went to the emergency room where they had taken Gerald but was told he had been admitted. I went up the elevator to the 5th floor. When I got off I was met by Maria and Lina. They were both in tears, crying on each other’s shoulders.

  “What is it? What’s happened?” I gasped.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Liam

  I arrived at the hospital and was told to go to the 5th floor. I turned the corner and started toward the nurse’s station to ask what room Gerald was in when I heard Norah’s voice.

  “Liam,” she said. I turned to her. She was crying.

  “Norah, what is it?” I ran to her. “What happened?”

  “He’s gone.” I didn’t hear her.

  “He had another heart attack and he’s…he’s gone.” I could hear the words she was saying to me but I couldn’t understand her.

  “Liam, I’m so sorry,” she said. I fell to my knees and everything went black.

  Chapter Twenty

  Norah

  Liam stood beside the coffin alone. Everyone else had left. We were having family and friends over to our house after the funeral but Liam didn’t want to go home.

  He hadn’t eaten in two days. He wouldn’t talk to anyone. He wasn’t sleeping. He just kept starring off into space or out the window.

  “Norah, do you want me to take you home?” John asked.

  “I can’t leave him,” I said. John nodded and went back to wait by the car.

  “Um, excuse me, Mrs. Hastings,” I looked over my shoulder to see Mr. Tweedings standing there. “I don’t want to rush him, but we need to take down the tarp and,” but before he could finish I held up my hand.

  “I know you have a job to do. You probably want to know how long he is going to be standing there. I have no idea. If you need to leave, I can call you when he’s ready to go,” I said. The funeral director started to say something again.

  “He’s not ready,” I shouted. Mr. Tweedings nodded at me and walked away.

  Liam just stood there. He wasn’t moving, he wasn’t crying, he wasn’t talking, nothing. He wore his black suit and tie, along with his black sunglasses.

  I wanted to see his face but he wouldn’t let me. I was afraid to approach him, so I just waited.

  After an hour and a half I went over to John to tell him he should go back home. I didn’t know how long this was going to last and I would call him when we needed a ride. I was beginning to regret telling the funeral home people that they could take up all the chairs. My heels were starting to kill my feet.

  Then I felt his hand on my shoulder.

  “Let’s go, my wife,” he said softly and then tucked himself in the car. I nodded at John and then followed Liam in the car.

  He still didn’t say anything on the ride home. He just held my hand. He never took off his sunglasses even though there wasn’t any sun.

  We arrived home about 20 minutes later. Most of the people who were paying their respects had already left. Only Rosa and her family, Nathan and a few of his relatives were still hanging around.

  We walked inside and Liam looked around the house. He slowly took off his sunglasses and I saw tears built up in his eyes.

  “I can’t,” he mumbled. “I just can’t,” he said again. He covered his eyes with his hand. It was like he didn’t want to look at the house knowing Gerald wasn’t in it.

  “It’s ok, baby,” I said. I put my hand on the back of his neck. “Go upstairs and take off your suit. I’ll be up in a minute, I just wanna say something to Rosa.” I patted his back and he started up the stairs. He turned back to me suddenly.

  “Tell her ah,” he paused. “Tell her I said,” he stopped again.

  “I know,” I said. “She knows too,” I added. “I’ll be up in a minute.”

  I went to the living room where some people had gathered and I looked around. The living room was a room we rarely used. It had a big TV, gaming system, nice comfortable chairs and sofas. Liam and I usually watched TV in our bed or did work in the study.

  Maria told me Rosa was in the kitchen so I went to join her.

  “Hey,” I walked around the island to give her a hug. “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  “I am ok,” she said. Her face was red from all her crying.

  She handed me a plate with a big turkey, bacon and avocado sandwich and chips.

  “Give this to him,” she said. “He needs to eat.” By ‘him’ I knew she was speaking of Liam.

  “I know,” I took the plate from her. “But he won’t.” I put it down on the counter. “I’m going to go upstairs to be with him. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” Sofia went to the sink and put a bunch of plates in it and turned on the water.

  “Don’t do that,” I held up my hand. “I hired a catering company for the food. They will do the clean up too. Please, everyone, eat whatever you want, drink whatever you want. Sleep in any of the bedrooms.” I put my hand on Rosa’s. “Let me take care of you for once,” I gave her a wink.

  “We have some home movies playing in the living room and everyone is sitting around telling funny stories about Gerald. Do you think Mr. Hastings would like to join us?” Sofia said.

  “That sounds wonderful. I’ll ask him. Thank you.”

  I went upstairs and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed. He hadn’t taken off his suit.

  “The family is downstairs telling stories about Gerald and they would like for you to join them.” He didn’t answer me. “I think you would find some comfort in being around other people who loved him as much as you do.” He still didn’t move. “Liam?” I prompted.

  “I can’t. Not right now.”

  I ran a hot bath and led him to the bathroom. I couldn’t pick him up the way he had with me so many times, but he obliged me by stepping in the tub. I sat behind him.

  “Baby,” I whispered. “I know you are hurting,” I ran a wet wash cloth over his back. “Please talk to me,” I said. He just hung his head.

  I washed his body and we sat together until the water turned cold.

  “We need to get out,” I said. He just grunted. I stood up and stepped out grabbing a towel. “Come on babe, you need to get out too,” I held out a towel for him. He slowly stood up and took the towel from me.

  He stood in the bathroom with a to
wel around his waist just looking at the floor.

  I went to the closet and got his robe and a pair of boxers. I helped him dry off and put on the boxers, then covered him in the robe. I sat him on the toilet seat and covered his stubbly chin with shaving cream. I raised his chin and started to shave his face.

  He never blinked. I couldn’t even hear him breathing. I finished up and wiped his face.

  “Come on, let’s go to bed,” he nodded but still didn’t speak.

  We got in bed and I wrapped my arms around him. He needed to feel secure so I did my best to let him know I was there for him.

  We slept. I woke up around 10am the next day. It had been a rough few days so we needed the rest. Liam just rolled over.

  He stayed in bed for the next two days.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Liam

  I was numb. I had no feelings what so ever. My sadness had gone to such a deep depression that I felt nothing.

  I laid in bed like nothing mattered. Nothing did matter. I didn’t call into the office. I could hear people talking around me. Norah talked to Marcy and Steve. I could hear Lina moving around the room bringing me food and cleaning up the food I hadn’t eaten earlier. Norah asked me to shower or come downstairs and eat but I didn’t want to move.

  I watched the sun come up and go down through the curtains. It felt like it had been weeks, but I was sure it had only been a few days. I kept hoping I would wake up from this horrible nightmare. Then it came to me. I was not only upset about losing Gerald, I was angry. I was pissed off that yet another person close to me had been taken from me. I knew what I needed. I needed to vent that anger. I needed to feed that frustration.

  I got up out of bed and went to the shower. I put on a navy blue suit and went downstairs for breakfast.

  “Good Morning,” I said to a room full of housing staff, mostly Rosa’s family. They all stopped talking and looked at me.

  “Liam,” Norah gasped. “I didn’t know you would be joining us today.” She walked over to me and kissed my cheek. “Are you hungry? Would you like some coffee?” She gestured to Maria. “Maria, can you get him a cup of coffee, please?”

  “I need to talk to you,” I grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room.

  “Ah, ok,” she stumbled behind me. We walked to the study and I turned to face her.

  “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better,” she smiled and adjusted my tie. I grabbed her hand.

  “I’m not feeling that much better, little one, but I know what you can do to make me feel better,” I gave her a cold look. She swallowed hard. I could see her throat move.

  “Meet me in the basement at 7 o’clock this evening. Make sure you are dressed in the leather outfit I like so much and put on the mask.” I gave her a long chaste kiss on the lips and then walked out.

  Norah

  I touched my neck and gulped again. He wanted to play in the basement. He needed to beat his sadness out of me. This wasn’t good.

  Liam never really hurt me, just more of a painful stinging. But now things were different. I was pregnant. He might do damage to the baby. I grabbed my cell phone and called my doctor. I had to leave a message so I went to work and tried to get through the day.

  “Kelly!” I shouted from my office. “I can’t find the Palmer thingy,” I moved a pile of papers on my desk to the other side. “Kelly!” I shouted again.

  “Reign in your horses, boss lady. I have the Palmer thingy right here,” she handed me the file with all the specific requests from the client.

  “Great, thank you.” I took it from her.

  “You don’t look so hot,” she sat down. “Everything ok at home?” she was always looking out for me.

  I tapped my fingers against the desk.

  “I have a hypothetical situation I need your opinion on,” I stood up.

  “Say, you knew someone, that was in a similar situation as I am,” I paused and looked at her. “The situation I have neither confirmed nor denied.”

  “Oh that situation? Ok, go on,” she said. I paced back and forth behind my desk.

  “Let’s just say her clothes aren’t fitting the way they should anymore and her,” I looked down at the little bump located exactly where my flat stomach use to be. “Her body is also changing, not to mention she is emotional and exhausted all the time,” I leaned on my desk and let out a deep breath.

  “Yeah, I got it.”

  “Well let’s just say this same person has a husband who likes to get rough every once in a while,” I gave her a knowing smile and took my seat again.

  “Oh no.”

  “Ah, yeah,” I said.

  “He wants to play in the basement?” she asked. I nodded. “I thought the police took all that stuff away?”

  “They did. He took some of it back when everything was dropped against us.” I stood up and started pacing again. “We haven’t been down there in a long time.” I ran my hand over my stomach. “What am I going to do?” I asked.

  “Well you have to tell him, Norah!”

  “I can’t. Not now. It isn’t right. He’s still trying to get over Gerald. He’s all messed up in his head. He’s upset, he’s angry, he’s” I paused.

  “He’s always upset or angry about something! You can’t keep this from him anymore. He could hurt you or more importantly he could hurt the baby. Think of how that would affect him? He loses his father figure, he feels like he is failure at keeping people he loves around him, like he is some kind of ticking time bomb, and then he beats his wife so she miscarries a baby he didn’t know he even had?”

  “You’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right.”

  Kelly was right. I needed to tell him. I’ve needed to tell him for a long time. I can’t keep hiding this from him.

  But every time I went to tell him, when I was on the verge of saying it, something happens. Not like someone knocking on the door, something big. But I couldn’t let life get in our way anymore. I had to tell him. I couldn’t risk what he could do to me without knowing that he was doing it. I wasn’t sure Liam ever wanted to be a father; definitely not now in the frame of mind he was in. But he certainly wouldn’t want to hurt the unborn baby. I was sure of that.

  Having all of this knowledge and being ready to tell him the truth, I still found myself lacing up my black boots and putting on my black leather mask to head down to the basement.

  I stood in front of the door and took a few deep breathes. I wasn’t sure what I was about to do. I moved the hair from my shoulders and opened the door slowly. But what I saw was something much different than what I expected.

  Liam was standing in the middle of the room. He had candles lit all over the room. He had brought back in the big black leather couch, two large cherry wood bookcases with shelves covered in sex toys. I saw the sybian that had given me so much pleasure before in the corner and a few chains hanging from the ceiling with a swing at the end.

  “Please come in, little one,” he took my hand and led me to the middle of the room. I stood between two leather handcuffs hanging from the ceiling.

  Liam rolled a cart of leather whips, clamps, feathers, crops, and floggers.

  “Are you familiar with all of these?” he asked. I nodded. “Good,” he said as he picked up one of the cuffs. But instead of putting it on my wrist, he put it on his. I looked up at him but he wasn’t looking at me.

  He gestured for me to help him with his other hand and then moved his feet around the floor. I hooked up his other hand and then knelt down to hook his feet up. I stood back up and started fidgeting with my hands.

  “Ah, Liam, I don’t,” I started.

  “Put the blind fold on me,” he said. I did as he requested. I started to say something else but he stopped me.

  “You can do this, little one. I need it. You have to do this,” he hung his head. I walked around him slowly then made my way over to the stereo system. I needed motivation.

  I closed my eyes and tried to remember what happened to me at
the sex clubs with Nick. I remembered being chained up, I remembered being whipped and beaten. I remembered the lights flashing, the loud music, my head thrashing back and forth and the pain. I remembered the pain.

  I found the Prodigy playlist and hit shuffle. The music started in with the loud base and Liam jerked his head back. I moved over to the lighting controls and turned on the strobe lights. Then I walked back over to Liam and removed the blind fold. He started to protest but I smacked his chest with a flogger and he quickly stopped. His eyes became cold and hard.

  I ran my hand over the red mark on his chest and then grabbed a mesh blind fold from the table.

  “I want you to see this,” I said. “I think you should be able to have the complete experience.” I slowly walked around him moving the flogger up and down on his body. Oh, I was going to enjoy this.

  I slowly ran the flogger down his back and around his butt. He rolled his head back and forth. I took a whip from the table and smacked his back. His head shot up. I did it again and he jerked his head in the other direction. I did it again, and he yelled “Yes, yes, yes!”

  “I didn’t tell you to talk,” I smacked him five times in a row; fast and hard. “Don’t say another word!” I shouted. I liked telling him what to do. I knew deep down he liked it too. He needed this. He needed me to beat the shit out of him.

  I moved to the front so he could see me. I stood in front of him making sure he could feel my body against his. His chest was covered in sweat, so I ran my fingers over his pecs and then licked them. He made a humming noise, so I smacked him against his chest. He smiled so I smacked him again.

  “Don’t think you can flash that pretty boy smile at me, Mr. Hastings. You have put me through too much shit for me to take it easy on you.” I grabbed his lips and pinched them into a duck face and gave him a long kiss.

  I used the whip on his chest. I tried to make an x symbol but I wasn’t that in control. The marks I made looked deep and red, but more importantly they looked painful.