by Susan Lewis
She waited while he was in the kitchen, and although she was smiling, there was still trepidation in her heart. That he loved her, that he truly loved her, she was now in no doubt. But the baby, was it his? Please God, it had to be. But would he always look at it and wonder? Would he ever be able to truly accept it, like he had said he would? And what if, when it was born, it had those hideous pale eyes. Oh please God, no. She could never bear to live with those pale eyes, looking at her, watching her, every day. But she wouldn’t have to. It was Bob’s child she was carrying. Hers and Bob’s, and it would have the beautiful sapphire blue eyes that belonged to him.
But what was he going to do? Would he really leave his wife? With a doubt as great as this in his heart, would he be able to leave his wife and come to her?
And suddenly she knew she couldn’t let him. She couldn’t do this to him.
He brought the breakfast in, and looking at him her heart contracted with love. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and the silver lines in his beard stood out more strongly than she had noticed before. When he looked at her he smiled, and she thought how very handsome he was when he smiled. And she thought, too, of how she was going to miss him. She was going to miss him so badly that she didn’t know if she could bear it.
He put the tray on the table, and then pulled up a chair for her to sit down. “Every bit,” he said. “Nothing left on the plate.”
She stood up, but she didn’t go to the table. Instead she walked to the window and pulled back the curtains. When she turned back she saw that he was watching her, and she wondered what was going through his mind. She turned her head away, unable to meet his eyes.
“What is it?”
She tried to look up, but she couldn’t. “Will you sit down? Please. There’s something I want to say.”
He pulled up a chair and sat beside the table.
She walked across the room and taking his hands she knelt at his feet. She saw the look of confusion in his eyes, and all she knew was that she didn’t want to cause him any more pain.
She looked down at their hands. “Bob, I’m going to let you go.”
“What do you mean?” he said, tilting her chin to make her look at him.
“I mean that I can’t do it to you. I love you too much. And now that I know how much you love me, I just can’t hurt you like this. You must go. Bob, we can’t live a lie. You’ll only end up hating me, and I just couldn’t bear that.”
He looked deep into her eyes. “Ellamarie, I could never hate you. I love you too much.”
She tried to smile. “Not now, I know, but you will. You will feel trapped and resent me for it, and you’ll be right to.”
“Stop talking like that. I swore I would never leave you, and I meant it. I will never leave you again.”
“I don’t want you to go, you know I don’t. But you must. In a day or two you’ll see things more clearly, and you will know that I’m right. I promise you.” Her mouth was quivering, but she was determined to hold onto the tears.
He ran his thumb across her lips and tried to pull her up, but she resisted. “No, Bob,” she said. “No.”
Suddenly his face was angry. “Stop pushing me away. I love you, can’t you accept that? I love you and I am not going anywhere, no matter what you say.”
She got up and walked across the room. “Please, don’t argue any more.”
And then he was beside her, turning her to look at him. “There’s only one thing left to say, I want to marry you.”
Her eyes rounded.
“Will you marry me?”
“But . . .”
“Yes or no.”
She looked into his face for a long time, and he watched her eyes, searching to find the right way. And then at long last she began to smile, and he smiled too.
“Does that mean yes?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “If you’re sure, then yes, it means yes.”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” he said, and pulled her into his arms.
TWENTY-SEVEN
With a film editor either side of her, Jenneen took the stairs two at a time. They laughed as they reached the top and stopped to catch their breath.
“What brings you here so late in the evening?” Richard puffed.
“Just wanted to pick up a few things,” Jenneen answered.
“Bar’s still open,” said Gary. “Tell you what, I’ll let you buy me a drink.”
“Thanks for the honour.”
“I’ll buy,” said Richard.
“Sorry, too much to do.”
“You know what hard work did to Jack,” said Gary.
“And I’m even duller,” she said. “But seriously, I can’t tonight. If you’re around tomorrow lunchtime, I’ll buy you both one then, does that suit?”
“Well, I suppose it’ll have to do,” said Gary. “Give us a kiss then before you go.”
“Tomorrow,” and she started to walk away.
Suddenly she was swept off her feet and they were carrying her towards the bar on their shoulders.
“Put me down,” she laughed, but they walked right on into the bar, and dumped her in front of the counter.
“Two pints and a gin and tonic for the lady,” said Richard.
“Honestly,” said Jenneen. “Don’t you ever take no for an answer? Just a quick one then, and I’ll have to go.”
As she looked around to see who was in there she noticed Stephen Sommers sitting in the comer with several researchers from the Afternoon Programme. As their eyes met he gave her a sour look.
“See your fan club’s in tonight,” Gary remarked, as Jenneen turned back to the bar.
“He’s bloody furious about your new programme, you know,” said Richard, perching on a stool beside her.
“You mean he knows about it?”
“Doesn’t everyone?”
“Silly question. What did he say?”
“I’d rather not repeat it,” said Richard, “but I’d watch him if I were you, he’s got it in for you.”
“Well, that’s nothing new,” said Jenneen. “Stephen Sommers has got it in for anyone female who has the audacity to be above the rank of secretary.”
“True,” said Gary.
They watched Stephen as he stuffed his cigarettes into his pocket, and left the bar. Jenneen shrugged, and raised her glass to the closed door.
When she had finished her drink Jenneen insisted that she really must go now. She went back along the corridor to the production office. The lights were still on when she got there, and looking at her watch she guessed that the late-night news team were probably using it for the last bulletin of the day, as it was nearer the presentation studio than their own.
Sure enough, as she rounded the filing cabinets, she saw a couple of journalists banging away on typewriters, and a secretary busy photocopying the scripts. She said hello to one of the journalists as he rushed out of the office, then walked on round the row of filing cabinets towards her desk. Suddenly she stopped. Someone she had not expected to see was Stephen Sommers.
Normally she would have ignored him, and not even bothered to wonder what he was doing there. But he was standing beside her desk, reading something that he had quite clearly taken from the drawer; he had left it open.
Luckily no one had noticed her come in, so she drew back behind the filing cabinets, and watched him for several minutes. It soon became evident from the way he was rummaging through the desk that he was looking for something in particular, and she wondered what it could be.
She didn’t have to wait long. From the bottom drawer, where she kept everything to do with her new series, he pulled out the small buff file that she had come back for. Quickly he flicked through it, barely giving himself time to read it. Obviously satisfied that this was what he was looking for, he walked over to the photocopier, duplicated the whole file, then replaced the original in the drawer.
She continued to watch as he tucked his copy inside his jacket, and started to walk toward
s her. Quickly she stepped back into Bill’s office behind her, and hid behind the door until he had passed.
When she was satisfied that he had gone, she walked over to her desk, and took out the file from the bottom drawer. What possible use could that file be to him? OK, she had never discussed the project in the office, but there was nothing to hide. The company had given the go-ahead for the pilot, and he only had to read the studio schedules to see that it was down for recording in two weeks’ time.
She shrugged. Well, if he was so fascinated by her and what she was doing, then good luck to him. Just to know what the idea was would do him no good that she could see, unless it was merely to satisfy his curiosity.
But in the following week or so, she couldn’t shake it from her mind. She had a nagging feeling that there was perhaps more to this than she realised.
Nick was quite taken aback when Kate threw open the door. Her face was covered in smiles, and she was almost jumping up and down with excitement.
“Have you heard?” she said, pulling him inside. “Have you heard?”
“Heard what?”
“About Ellamarie and Bob?”
“What about Ellamarie and Bob.”
“They’re getting married.”
“They’re what!” Nick gasped.
“Getting married.”
“But how? I mean when? I mean, well, how can they?”
“I don’t know,” said Kate, “but they are. Isn’t it simply marvellous! Come on, I’ve got some champagne. Let’s celebrate!” and she skipped off into the kitchen.
Nick laughed. “You’ve got champagne? But it’s them who are getting married.”
“What difference does that make? We can still celebrate, can’t we?”
He shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
“Will you pop the cork?”
He took the bottle from her, and she stood at the ready with two glasses. He filled them up, and they drank a toast to Ellamarie and Bob.
“Mmm, good stuff,” he said. “And now, how about a toast to you?”
“To me?”
“Yes. I’ve been reading the first chapters of your book today, and I think we’ve got something to celebrate.”
“Do you really? Did you like it? Be honest with me, Nick, did you really like it?”
“Yes, I did. Don’t look so surprised, it’s good.”
“But were there any bits you didn’t like? You can be brutally honest, I won’t mind.”
He opened his mouth to speak.
“Well, not too brutal,” she said.
He smiled. “There is one thing I’m unsure of.”
“Oh,” said Kate, unable to hide her disappointment. “What’s that?”
“Exactly when it’s supposed to be taking place.”
“In the seventies,” she said, as if it were obvious.
“But you haven’t said that.”
“Do I need to?”
“Well, I’m no expert, but I’d have thought so, yes.”
“I’ll look at it,” she said. “Come on, let’s go and sit down.”
He followed her into the lounge, and took up his usual chair beside the fire. July it might be, but there was still no real sign of summer yet; in fact it was damned cold outside tonight.
“So,” he said. “Has Bob told his wife yet?”
“I presume so. I didn’t ask. It was just so good to hear Ellamarie back in spirits again.”
“Mmm,” Nick sipped his champagne. “Did you ever find out what it was, you know, why she was like she was?”
“No, she didn’t say. But whatever it was, well, I don’t suppose it matters now really, does it? As long as she’s all right now. I mean, we all get down sometimes, even Ellamarie.”
“I suppose we do.”
“Did you find out today when the real reading for the Queen of Cornwall is happening?”
“Nope,” said Nick. “Couldn’t get hold of Bob. Don’t know why I didn’t think to try Ellamarie’s. Still, under the circumstances it’s probably just as well I didn’t. When did they decide?”
“Yesterday, she called me this morning.”
“Have you ever met his wife?”
“No, never. Have you?”
“No, I haven’t actually met her, but I’ve seen her.”
“Really?” said Kate. “What’s she like?”
“Well, it was quite some time ago now, and I didn’t get a very good look, but from what I saw I’d say she’s probably about the same age as Bob, and about the same height. She’s dark, and rather more glamorous than I’d have expected.”
“I always imagined, from the things Ellamarie’s told me, that she would be sort of quite mousey and plain.”
“I must admit I thought she would be too, but she’s certainly not plain. But I only caught a glimpse.”
At that moment the phone rang, and Kate got up to answer it. From the warmth in her voice Nick guessed that it was her father on the other end, so he went back to the kitchen to fetch the champagne. When he came back again she was still on the phone, so he sat down, feeling uncomfortable. He always hated it when people were on the phone and he was a visitor in their home. It made him feel like he was eavesdropping.
Kate seemed to sense it, and said: “I’ll have to go now, Daddy, I’ve got a friend here.”
Nick felt a twinge of annoyance that she hadn’t said who.
“Well, before you ring off,” said her father, “tell me, how’s the book coming along. Well?”
“Yes, it’s coming along fine I think,” and she winked at Nick.
“Jenneen’s with you, is she?”
“No, she’s coming around later. Nick’s here at the moment.”
She heard her father sigh on the other end. “Is he still pestering you?”
Kate turned the phone into the wall. “Not at all.”
“Darling, he’s an actor, for goodness’ sake. What on earth do you see in him?”
“It’s not like that,” she answered, trying to keep her voice low, thankful that Nick couldn’t hear what her father was saying.
“Well, I’m glad to hear it. So why don’t you tell him straight that you don’t want to see him again. He’s always round there these days, it must be driving you mad.”
“It’s not, and I won’t.”
“Don’t be angry. I’m only trying to make you see sense. All you need right now is to get on with your novel, and you’ll never do it with him hanging round you.”
“Look, I’ll call you later.”
“I’m going out,” said her father. “Call me in the morning. And try and get rid of that moron.”
“No!” she said. “I won’t, and don’t say things like that again.”
“You’re not falling for him, are you?”
“No. Yes, actually, I am.”
“I thought you might have learned your lesson by now, Katherine.”
“What do you mean?”
“Darling, I’m only trying to save you from being hurt again. We don’t want a repeat of the Joel Martin affair, now do we?”
Kate flushed. “Don’t ever mention that again. I don’t ever want to talk about it, and I don’t ever want you to talk about it either. And what’s more, I’ll do as I please, so stop interfering. I’ll call you tomorrow,” and she hung up.
“I’m sorry about that,” she said to Nick, “but sometimes fathers can be so blasted infuriating.”
“I won’t ask what it was all about, I think I can guess. But tell me, who’s coming round later?”
Kate frowned.
“You said on the phone that she’ll be coming round later.”
“Oh, yes. Jenneen. She’s calling in for a drink, and perhaps something to eat. She wants me to look over the first draft script that she’s done for her new series.”
“Oh no, does that mean takeaways again?”
“’Fraid so. But cheer up, I’ll cook you a nice dinner on Saturday night. How does that sound?”
He raised his glass to her.
“I’ve got another treat. I’ve been to Cliveden House today, researching for the series of articles I’m doing on stately homes that don’t belong to the National Trust.”
“But I thought Cliveden did belong to the National Trust,” said Nick.
“They’ve leased it to Blakeney Hotels, don’t you remember? I told you, it’s a hotel now. Just wait till you see it.”
“Oh, I’m going to see it, am I? When?”
“Sunday. We’re going down for the day. I fell in love with it when I was there today, and I know you will too. So we’ll make a whole day of it next Sunday. Let’s just hope the weather cheers up. Ah, that’ll be Jenneen,” she said, as the buzzer on the intercom sounded.
Jenneen came in, carrying more champagne, and laughed when she saw the half full one on the coffee table. “Looks like we all had the same idea.” She took the glass that Nick was offering her. “Well, here’s to the happy couple. Have you seen either of them yet?”
Kate shook her head, and put down her glass. “No. Have you?”
“No, but being love’s young dream, I don’t suppose they really want to see anyone just yet. Has he told his wife, do you know?”
“Don’t think he’s had a chance yet,” said Kate.
“Wonder how she’ll take it.”
“Well, I don’t think they’re very close, are they? Haven’t been for some time. Probably won’t come as a surprise. Might even come as a relief.”
“I wouldn’t go quite that far,” said Nick. “Breaking up is never easy, even if you don’t love someone any more.”
“No, I suppose it’s not,” said Kate. “Well, why don’t we drink to Linda as well. That she can find happiness too.”
So they drank Linda’s health, and then settled down to go over Jenneen’s script.
About eight o’clock Nick went out for Chinese, and by nine thirty they were well fed and quite merry.
“So,” said Jenneen, leaning back in her chair, and closing the script. “You think it’s good?”
“Excellent,” said Kate. “Just those few alterations, and check on whether or not you can actually mention those couple of things in the closing link, and you’re home and dry. It’s a winner!”
“What do you think, Nick?”
