by Calista Kyle
“That’s what I’m talking about. You’ve just got an eye for knowing what looks good on people. I seriously think you’re wasting your talents working for your mother,” Lily said.
I sighed and tried not to roll my eyes at her. It was a conversation we’d had many times before. Lily was always trying to get me to strike out on my own and “get out from under my mother’s thumb” as she would say. She thought the pressure of working for my mother was finally getting to me and affecting my mental wellbeing. While I appreciated her concern, I was starting to get just a little tired of her constant harping about the subject.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she said frowning at me. “I see that glazed over look in your eye like you’re trying to tune me out, but I’m being 100 percent serious here. You’ve got to start thinking about yourself. You have too much talent and potential to squander it hidden away at some back cubicle picking up dry cleaning and sorting out the samples,” she said.
“Have you and Candace been talking about me behind my back again?” I laughed nervously. I tried to brush off her words like I usually did, but she wasn’t so easily put off this time.
She waved aside my comment like an annoying gnat flying in front of her face. “When you’re not walking on eggshells around your mother, you really have this confidence and a sort of aura around you,” she continued.
“Er—thanks,” I said.
I didn’t know that I had been giving off that impression, and it startled me to realize that there was some truth to what Lily said, now that I actually stopped to consider her words.
“I mean, are you happy, Mel? No, don’t answer yet,” she said, holding up her hand. “Really think about it before you answer.”
I had been about to tell Lily that I was happy—my normal conditioned response, but her words gave me pause. It didn’t take much soul searching for me to realize that I wasn’t happy at my job. In fact, I hated it. I dreaded going in to work on Mondays and relished every minute away from the office.
There were aspects of the job that I did like. I genuinely liked some of the people I worked with, as well as helping with the photo shoots and overseeing our blog. The only downside, I realized with frightening clarity, was working for my mother. She was impossible to please and it felt like I was dodging bullets whenever I saw her. Our relationship as mother and daughter had never been close, but I felt like working for her had really strained it beyond enduring, at least for me.
“My life’s not perfect,” I finally said. I knew I was chickening out with that response and I didn’t know why I still couldn’t admit the truth to Lily.
“Neither is mine, but I’m happy,” she said.
“Yeah but you’ve got Roman,” I blurted. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
“No, don’t apologize,” Lily said. “It’s true, Roman does make me happy, but it’s more than that too. I’ve got a job that I love and that challenges me, and I’ve cut out people from my life who are toxic and energy drains. That gives me time to just focus on myself and I’m in a much better place than I was a year ago, even without Roman.”
I kept my mouth shut, choosing not to bring up the fact that this whole transformation started after she and Roman got together. It was easy for her to believe she was happy. In fact, I didn’t doubt it either, but I had a feeling she’d be singing a different tune if she and Roman ever broke up. I felt a little guilty harboring these less than charitable thoughts about my best friend, but I was feeling a little jealous.
She had everything one could want in life—a loving fiancé, close friends and family, a job she was passionate about and a mother who never left her in any doubt that she loved her. I knew it was unfair for me to think those things but I was only human. If I were to follow her footsteps to happiness, all I needed to do was find a billionaire to love me. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I pictured Ryan.
It had been two weeks since we came back from Vegas. He hadn’t tried to see or contact me in all that time. A small part of me was disappointed by his lack of communication. I guess he had already gotten what he wanted so he had no more use for me, I thought bitterly. Then again, I hadn’t exactly left him with the impression that I’d welcome his company again. I had slunk out of his room like a thief in the night as soon as his back was turned. He probably thought I wanted nothing to do with him.
I should have left it at that and felt relief, but I couldn’t help the gnawing discomfort I got whenever I thought of how we parted.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Lily said peering at me cautiously. “What were you thinking of just now?”
“Oh, nothing important,” I lied trying to sound indifferent.
“Don’t lie to me, Melanie Anne. You had this far away look in your eye and I could have sworn I saw you blush. Spit it out,” she demanded.
“Did anyone ever tell you how nosy you are?” I grumbled.
She stood and stared at me expectantly, letting me know by the intensity and duration of it that I wasn’t getting out of her interrogation without telling her all my secrets. I sighed and decided then it was too much effort to keep this from Lily. She’d been a good friend and even though I was still confused by the situation I found myself in, I needed help.
“I was just thinking about Vegas,” I began.
“Vegas?” she repeated blankly. “Did something happen to you in Vegas?”
I had to admire the way Lily was able to cut through everything to just get to the heart of the matter.
“You could say that,” I said.
“Tell me now,” she insisted, patting the spot next to her on one of the settees in the bridal suite.
“You remember the night of your bachelorette party?” I began.
“Uh, no. I don’t remember anything from that night. All I know is I somehow made it back to my room and woke up wearing a sombrero and covered in glitter. I mean it was stuck to me like you wouldn’t believe. I had to take three showers to get it all off.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that. You never mentioned anything.”
“Because it’s something I’d like to forget. My head the next morning felt like someone had cracked it open with a wooden axe. Now don’t side track me,” she added. “What happened?”
“I left the club early…with Ryan,” I said. I waited and let that little nugget sink into Lily’s head. She gasped at me like she almost couldn’t believe it.
“Ryan Marsden?” she asked in a hushed whisper.
“Yes, of course,” I said. “What other Ryan would I go with?”
She bit down on her lip, almost as if she were trying to keep whatever she was just thinking from flying out.
“That’s right, you just keep that little thought to yourself,” I said narrowing my eyes at her.
Lily cleared her throat and tried to look innocent. “So, what happened?” she asked.
“What do you think?” I said. “We had sex.”
“You didn’t!”
“I did.”
Lily grabbed my arm and pulled me to a more private corner of the store. “Wha—I mean, how do you feel? Are you two together now?”
“I feel fine and no, we’re not together. I haven’t heard from him since coming back from Vegas,” I said. “Which is fine with me,” I added for good measure.
“Don’t try to pull that line with me. Of course you’re not fine with it. Otherwise you wouldn’t have been daydreaming about it just now.”
“I was not daydreaming!” I protested.
Lily shot me a pitying look before she started pacing around the room, smacking her fist into her open palm every so often. “The nerve of that man!” she muttered to herself. “What’s he playing at?”
“Uh…Lily, maybe you should hold off for now with that…whatever you’re doing,” I said pointing my hand in front of her. “You’re starting to look kind of crazy.”
She turned her stare to the two store clerks who had been standing by unobtrusively while we browsed. They qui
ckly looked away as if they’d been caught doing something they knew they shouldn’t. Lily went back to her pacing before stopping suddenly and looking at me.
“Do you really not have feelings for him? Was it just a drunken hook up then?” she asked.
I hesitated, still not sure of what my feelings were. It was all so confusing. What could I say to Lily that made any sense?
“I think he’s funny and charming and hot as hell, but he’s so…”
“I know,” Lily said. “It’s overwhelming sometimes. I felt like that about Roman too.”
“He just seems like such a player, and you know that’s never been my type.”
“You know, not everybody is all that they seem. He might have some hidden depths you’ve only just scratched the surface of. He’s a lot like Roman, I think. You’ve just got to crack that hard outer shell,” Lily said.
“I just don’t know, Lily. You know how I get sometimes. I’m always go go go and that’s what got me in trouble the last two times. I don’t want to invest in another relationship and get my heart broken again. Besides, maybe it’s best if Ryan just remains the rebound guy and nothing more,” I said. “He’s too in love with his lifestyle to ever change and I honestly don’t think I could ever be happy with someone like that.”
“Are you sure you’re not projecting some of your prejudices on to him? From what Roman tells me, he’s a great guy and very loyal. I think you’re just trying to convince yourself that it would never work out between you two so you don’t even have to try because you’re scared.”
I was surprised that Lily was so in favor of Ryan. I knew he was Roman’s best friend and she trusted Roman’s judgment, but at the same time, this was the same woman who had always advised me to be a little more cautious with my heart. Now here she was telling me to take a chance on Ryan. I shook my head in disbelief.
“I just don’t know, Lily,” I said.
“Just don’t write him off completely,” she said. “You should take your own advice. You remember? You need to take a risk sometimes because the best things in life are worth it,” she said, throwing my own words back at me.
I remembered at the time I said it, I was a different person—happier, more vibrant and not as gun shy. It was hard to imagine myself that way again. I almost laughed at the trite and naïve platitude, but smothered the impulse. Lily had been watching me keenly and I didn’t want to offend her with any thoughtless remarks. I knew she had taken my words to heart and had thanked me many times for encouraging her to take a risk. If she only knew how I felt about it now.
“Come on, I’m hungry,” I said changing the subject. “Let’s go get lunch.”
Lily must have sensed my unwillingness to discuss it further, and nodded her head at me. I knew she wasn’t finished and would try to bring it up again later. It’s what I would have done in her shoes, but right now, I just needed a break from it all. The bridal suite was getting hot and stuffy and I was feeling suffocated. It didn’t help that the two store clerks kept throwing us curious glances.
***
If I thought going to lunch would be a reprieve from discussing my personal life and nonexistent relationship with Ryan, I was wrong. As soon as we were seated, the very man who I’d been desperately trying to banish from my mind just strolled in like he owned the place. His eyes immediately locked on to mine as if he had expected to find me there. I caught my breath as he began walking over to our table, unable to tear my eyes away.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lily turn her head to see what had caught my attention so completely. She sucked in a surprised gasp as she spotted Ryan and turned back to look at me with an excited look on her face; she was positively glowing.
“Did you invite him?” I whispered to her before he reached our table.
“No, I had no idea he’d be here,” she answered. The shock on her face confirmed her innocence and I knew she was telling me the truth.
Was it just coincidence that brought him here today? I wondered. But his confident, purposeful strides as he made his way to our table made it seem like he had expected to find us here. I didn’t have much time to think about it further after he had finally reached us.
I couldn’t bring myself to look up into his eyes. It was silly of me, but seeing him again after two weeks and remembering the last image I had of him was standing naked in his hotel room brought a hot blush to my cheeks.
I heard the amusement in his voice as he greeted Lily. She engaged him in idle chit chat, but under the table she gave me a hard kick. I couldn’t hold back the grunt as I felt a sudden pain from where her foot made contact with my shin.
“Is something the matter?” Ryan asked.
I looked up at him, my eyes watering slightly and knew that was a bad idea. Were his eyes always that blue? I thought fleetingly as I got lost in his gaze. His brow was furrowed in concern, but once he saw that I was fine, his face transformed to delighted amusement. The wrinkles on his brow smoothed out and the corners of his delectable lips turned up in a grin. His eyes twinkled as if he knew some great secret and I had to bite my lip to keep from making some embarrassing sound.
I realized how foolish it was of me to think I could just forget Ryan and go on like nothing ever happened between us. A man who could bring out this reaction in me was not someone I could write off so easily.
“No, I’m fine,” I told him before I shot Lily an angry glare. “What are you doing here?”
“Having lunch,” he said simply.
I found myself leaning forward in my seat trying to get closer to him like a sunflower bending towards the sun. It wasn’t something I did consciously, but he just had this magnetism about him that I found hard to resist. Lily remained quiet in her seat, watching us in open fascination. I knew she’d file this encounter away for later until she could bring it up again, but right now, I didn’t even care.
“Are you…uh…meeting a date?” I asked. As soon as the words left my lips, I cringed inwardly. It sounded pathetic, even to my own ears.
“Something like that,” he said mysteriously.
I felt a stab of disappointment, but squared my shoulders trying not to let it show. Why should it matter to me who he was meeting for lunch? A cough in Lily’s direction turned both our attentions to her. She glanced at her watch hurriedly and began gathering her cell phone and sunglasses off the table.
“I totally forgot I have to meet with the cake designer in twenty minutes. I don’t know how that slipped my mind. Why don’t you keep Mel company for lunch, Ryan? I mean, if you don’t mind,” she said hurriedly. I knew she was lying. Hell, anyone with eyes could see that. Lily had never been the best liar, and I stared at her in dismay as she grabbed her purse and stood up from the table.
“What are you talking about?” I asked once I found my voice.
“The wedding cake. I’ve got to go check on it,” she finished lamely. Even she knew it sounded ridiculous judging from the rush of color on her cheeks, but she soldiered on and glanced at her watch again. “I’ve really got to go. We’ll catch up later,” she said turning to me and giving me a knowing stare.
Ryan took her empty seat as if he hadn’t a care in the world and smiled at me. I couldn’t help but notice how white his teeth were. That thought immediately flashed back to the image of those same teeth nibbling my skin at the spot just behind my ear. I shook my head to clear it of the mental picture of what happened next. What I needed to do was to remain cool and detached.
“What about your date?” I heard myself ask. Idiot! So much for keeping my cool.
“I hope she doesn’t mind that I’m sitting here with you,” he said, giving me a wicked grin.
I scoffed and looked around the restaurant looking for a pissed off female. A quick scan of the restaurant came up empty and I turned my gaze back to Ryan.
“You’re lucky she isn’t here yet. I don’t know any woman that would be okay with her date chatting up some other woman,” I said.
“Is that
what I’m doing? Chatting you up?” he asked, a small smile tugging on his lips.
“You tell me.”
A little bit of the teasing light faded from his eyes as he looked at me. I briefly wondered what it was I’d said that had changed his mood so suddenly.
“The truth is, I came here to see you,” he said.
“Me? Why?” I asked, surprise raising my voice several octaves higher. My pulse quickened and I found myself sitting on the edge of my seat, bracing myself for what he’d say next.
“Because I wanted to.” He shrugged, but I could tell there was some deep emotion behind the casual gesture. “You left so suddenly that morning, we never really got the chance to talk.”
“If you wanted to talk, you know I have been here for the past two weeks,” I said. I didn’t mean to sound so accusatory, but even to my own ears, I could detect that hint of reproach in my voice.
“I didn’t know if you’d even want to see me again,” he added quietly.
There was a bit of vulnerability about him in that moment that I’d never seen before. I almost wanted to reach out and cover his hand with my own, but caught myself just in time.
“Why’s that?” I asked. I had to quit letting my mind wander and focus on what he was actually saying.
“You seemed, I don’t know, agitated and embarrassed. I thought I’d give you some space before I sought you out again.”
“I was embarrassed. You know I don’t normally get drunk and take guys home.”
“So you’ve said.” A little bit of the teasing was back in his voice as his lips twitched. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you were that type of woman.”
“I’m not though! I think I was just confused. I mean, I hardly know you and the next thing I know, I’m waking up in your bed,” I said.
“It’s strange, I feel like I’ve known you a lot longer. But you’re right. We are practically strangers,” he said. “How about we fix that?”
I was momentarily dazzled by the blinding smile he shot me and it took me a moment to understand what he’d just said. The low rumbling chuckle that rose from him snapped my attention back to his face.
