by Calista Kyle
“You’re quite the impatient one,” he teased, as we came up for air. He had a devilish grin on his lips and it took me a moment to remember him saying the same thing during our night together in Vegas.
I refused to blush at the memory and tried to act nonchalant as I shrugged my shoulders. “Only when I know what I want,” I said.
“And what do you want?” he asked. He still wore a smile, but his eyes had turned intense.
I had a sudden urge to lick my lips as they had gone dry. The way he was looking at me made my heart start thumping in my chest.
“I want to see you naked,” I said boldly. “If I recall, I didn’t get a chance to the last time we were together.”
He stood up, a look of delight stealing over his face as he gave me an affectionate smile. “I believe you got quite a long look the last time, if I remember correctly, but I will be happy to undress for you again,” he said cheekily.
Ryan reached back and slid his jacket off his shoulders before loosening the tie around his neck. He dropped them to the floor next to where he stood and then his hands moved to the buttons on his dress shirt. I found myself completely mesmerized by his every little move. As he pulled the shirt off his shoulders, I had to swallow hard. He was absolute perfection.
I drank in the sight, as my eyes roamed hungrily over his beautiful body. I reached my arm out and ran my fingers over his chest, playing briefly with the dark patch of hair before moving down the muscles of his abs. My fingers stopped at his waist. I could see the large bulge pushing up against the fabric of his pants. I swallowed visibly before lifting my eyes to look up at him. His eyes crinkled as his lips turned up into a crooked grin.
“So, I take it you approve?” he asked teasingly.
I nodded my head wordlessly. Witty banter was completely out of my depth at that moment. If all it took was for him to be shirtless to render me a complete fool, I didn’t even know what I’d do when he got completely naked.
It didn’t take me long to find out. His hands moved to his pants where he undid the button and slowly lowered it along with his boxers, exposing more of himself. He shot me a wicked grin before pulling it off in one smooth motion. I released a pent up breath I didn’t know I was holding. He was already hard and ready. My fingers reached out and I felt him, rock solid and smooth like warm marble. I heard him breathe deeply as I explored him with my hands.
“God, Mel you have no idea what you do to me,” he said through gritted teeth.
Before I could reply, he had stepped out of my grasp and had pushed me back onto the bed. His mouth found mine in an urgent kiss. Our tongues collided in a heated dance and I groaned against him as I felt his hands cup around my breast. I was swept away on a wave of passion that took control of my body. He gently pulled my dress up over my head, trailing kisses over my exposed skin. His hands deftly maneuvered my bra and panties off until I was completely naked.
“Please, I…want you, now,” I begged between ragged breaths.
Ryan settled himself between my legs and then I heard him swear as he got jolted up. I leaned up, my body resting on my elbows as I watched him grab his pants and fish around until he pulled out a condom. He tore the foil and slipped it on over his length. Without warning, he climbed back to the bed, pressing his hard solid form against me. I loved the feel of him like this, his tall strong body encasing mine in an all-consuming embrace.
With one smooth stroke, he drove himself into me, spreading me open. “Oh, Mel,” he gritted as he began a slow thrust.
I wrapped my legs around his back as my toes curled. I bit my lip to keep from crying out in ecstasy as he slowly drove in and out. Soon our rhythm picked up and I had completely abandoned myself to the pure sensation of our bodies meeting again and again. It pierced me to the very core. It’d been too long since I felt this good. Not since Vegas. I threw back my head and closed my eyes as I concentrated on the feeling of our bodies melding together.
“Come for me baby,” Ryan urged through gritted teeth. I looked up at him then, his eyes watching me with a smoldering stare. It was so intense and searing, I had to close my eyes, afraid that I’d get swallowed up in his gaze. With a loud cry, I threw my head back and cried out his name as my body shuddered with the force of my orgasm. I clenched my muscles around his cock and heard him hitch his breath before he found his own release. I laid there a pile of mush, completely oblivious to everything around me. All I could feel was a deep satisfaction and completeness that left me at peace with the world.
Ryan shifted above me before he rolled onto his side, pulling me against him. He draped one arm over me and kissed the top of my head. We didn’t speak and soon I slipped off to a deep, dreamless peaceful slumber.
Chapter 16: Mel
I reached over the next morning and felt nothing but the cool sheets under my fingers. My foggy mind slowly came to, and I sat up and rested my head against the headboard. I remembered Ryan coming back to my place and I remembered the sex. Amazing sex. I had almost wondered if it was another dream, but looking down at my naked body, I knew that it wasn’t. I didn’t normally sleep in the nude.
Last night was magical. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time and I found myself sleeping like a baby, with no worries or cares. Everything felt right with the world. Now that I woke up with the bed empty beside me, my old feelings of anxiety and doubt crept back in. Was it all in my head? Did Ryan not feel the same way? Was he only interested in sex? I hated to think that I was the only one risking my heart again, only to look like a fool in the end.
I called out tentatively, half hoping he had just gone to use the bathroom, but there was only silence that greeted my call. There was no note on the bed or any sign that he’d been here at all. If I didn’t recall last night so clearly, I would have thought I was going insane.
I glanced at my clock and was startled to realize that it was already 11 am. I hadn’t slept in that late since my college days and felt a little guilty before I realized that it was Saturday and I wasn’t scheduled to go into work. Staying in bed was not an option, though. It would only remind me of last night, and right now I didn’t need that. I didn’t want to brood and over analyze every little thing to death. There could be a ton of reasons why Ryan had left, and until I heard from him, I wouldn’t obsess over it.
I headed to the shower and got ready for the day. The hot water felt heavenly against my skin and I began to relax my muscles and see things a bit more clearly. Once I was out of the shower, I wrapped my robe around me and towel dried my hair.
What I needed was some girl time and an outsider’s perspective, I had decided. My hand was just about to reach for my phone to dial Candace’s number when it buzzed to life. I looked at the caller ID and my heart nearly dropped out of my chest. It was a number I hadn’t heard from in several months. A number I thought I’d never hear from again. I hesitated to answer it, not knowing what I would even say. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me and I pressed answer.
“Hello, Chad?” I said.
“Yeah, hey Mel.” His voice was so familiar but it also sounded different, serious yet tentative. Chad had always been a happy, carefree sort of person, so it worried me to hear him sounding so grave. But then I realized that it wasn’t my business to care anymore.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“I’d like to see you again,” he said.
His words left me momentarily stunned. I remained silent, not quite knowing how to react or what to say. A small part of me felt happy that he’d wanted to see me again and I hated myself for that. After he’d left me, I had had this fantasy that he’d realize what a big mistake he made and come begging me to come back to him. I never really thought that would happen and over time the feeling faded away, until now.
“Mel? Are you still there?” I heard Chad ask.
“Yeah, I’m still here,” I answered, the strain obvious in my voice. “Are you back from Dubai?”
“I got back a week ago,” he answered.
I let that information sink in. He’d been back for a week and now he was calling me to meet up again. I felt annoyance and a little bit of anger shoot through me at the idea that he thought he could just come waltzing back into my life after he had wrecked it, as if nothing had happened. Did he think I’d be waiting for him with open arms?
“I’m not sure meeting is such a good idea,” I said.
“Listen Mel, I know I hurt you, but I just really need see you again,” he pleaded. “Please, will you just meet me for drinks? Or lunch maybe?”
I should have hung up on him and blocked his number. I should have refused to see him or have anything to do with him again, but I didn’t. No, that would have been too easy and sensible. I didn’t know what made me say yes, but I found myself agreeing to meet him for lunch. The phone call ended soon after and I sat back and toyed with a damp curl between my fingers. There was something perverse and unhealthy about the whole situation. I knew I was playing with fire, and yet I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.
***
Chad was already seated at the table when I arrived at the restaurant. He hadn’t noticed my arrival yet, so I took a moment to look him over. At first glance, he looked much the same as I remembered him, although he seemed thinner. His suit hung off his shoulders loosely and his copper-brown hair was a little longer that he normally wore it and nearly brushed his shoulders.
When I got a closer look at him, I noticed that he had actually changed a lot. His profile was sharper, and there were faint dark circles under his eyes. Wrinkles lined his mouth and forehead, and he looked like he’d aged ten years in the past few months. I wondered what had happened that had caused this change in him. Chad was always the type of person that never let anything get him down, but looking at him now, he seemed under some strain. I couldn’t believe that it was our break up that had caused this change in him. As I remembered it, he had been all too happy to be unshackled from me.
I took a deep steadying breath and began my walk forward, feeling like I was marching towards a firing squad. Chad’s eyes lit up as soon as he spotted me and he stood up from the table. His arms reached out impulsively but then he caught himself and dropped them to his sides.
“Mel, you look beautiful,” he said.
“Thanks,” I replied curtly. I took the seat opposite him and willed my heart to stop racing. Why did I still get this reaction? He was the man who broke my heart. I should hate him, but I found I couldn’t. I didn’t know what I felt exactly.
“How have you been?” he asked, toying with his napkin nervously.
“I’ve been fine. You know, working, keeping busy. You?”
“Oh, the same,” he said.
The conversation stalled and there was an awkward silence between us that seemed to go on forever. We’d never had this problem before and it felt strange to feel so distant from someone who had once been so close to me.
“I heard you were working for your mother now,” Chad said.
“Yeah, for a few months now.”
“How’s that going?”
“It’s all right. You know how my mother can be sometimes,” I said.
Chad laughed lightly and nodded his head. “Oh, I remember,” he said and shivered slightly.
That seemed to break the ice and the conversation flowed from that point. He told me about what he’d been up to for the past few months and how he’d gotten a promotion at his job that saw him back in New York. I told him about Lily’s wedding and about some of the things I was working on at work. It felt almost like old times, but there was always that wall and distance between us that held me back from really opening up.
I didn’t mention Ryan, although there were several times where I’d been tempted to bring him up. I wondered if it was wrong of me to see Chad behind his back. Then again, I didn’t exactly know where I stood with Ryan. We had amazing sexual chemistry, but was that all it was?
“What are you doing tomorrow night?” Chad asked.
“Tomorrow? Why do you ask?”
“Because I want to take you out on a date,” he said.
I paused, alarm and panic gripping me. I wasn’t ready for this. When he had called me earlier and asked me to meet him, the possibility had crossed my mind that he wanted to get back together, but I had written it off. After all, we hadn’t seen each other in months. I needed time to think.
“I don’t know, Chad,” I said.
“Please, Mel. I’ve missed you so much. Seeing you again was all I thought about since our break up,” he said.
I had longed to hear those words months ago. It had been the only thing that kept me going those dark few weeks immediately after he left. I kept hoping for that phone call or email or anything from him to let me know he missed me, but I got nothing. And now, all these months later he finally uttered the words that I’d been dying to hear. Now, when I was finally starting to heal. Now, when I had begun to move on with my life. I felt a burst of anger and frustration bubble up and spill over until I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Are you kidding me right now? I’ve waited for you all this time and not one peep did I hear. You just up and leave for Dubai without a thought about me and how I was doing. Not once did you even try to contact me! And now you want me to believe you missed me all this time?”
“I’m sorry, Mel. You’ve got every right to hate me. What can I say? I was immature and I didn’t know what I had until I threw it away. I thought about calling you, but I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me. Then when I got the promotion and transferred back to New York, I thought it had to be a sign. You know? That I was meant to be with you.”
Chad looked genuinely sorry, his eyes welling with unshed tears. I felt a tug at my heart at seeing him so miserable. My anger vanished as quickly as it had come and a numbness overcame me instead. I sat back and looked at the situation, trying to see it with a cold detachment. What did I want? The truth was I didn’t know. I thought Chad was the love of my life six months ago. Then Ryan showed up and I began to feel happy again and had something to look forward to. Was I in love with Ryan? I didn’t know for certain, but there was something there. The problem was, I was afraid it was only on my end.
With Chad, at least I knew where he stood. Did I want to throw away the security of knowing his feelings for me to chase after something that could end up getting me hurt? I was happy with Chad once. Could I be that way again? My mind ran in circles, and I began to feel a dull pounding building up behind my eyes. I realized I wasn’t in any frame of mind to analyze it all just now.
“I need time, Chad. Things have changed since you’ve been gone,” I finally said.
His face fell, but he made an effort to pull himself together and even managed a shaky smile. “Of course,” he said. “I know I’m asking a lot from you and I shouldn’t be surprised that you’ve changed. You always were so strong and tough. Please take all the time you need. I’ll wait for you for as long as you need me to.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I’ve got another appointment in half an hour, so I should get going.”
I stood up from the table and told him I’d call him when I had decided what I wanted to do. He looked like he wanted to walk me out the restaurant but I held up my hand to stall him.
“It’s ok. I can see myself out,” I said.
Once I was outside I leaned against the brick wall and closed my eyes. Why did he have to pick now to be so kind and understanding? It would make my decision easier if I could paint him as a selfish jerk. It’s what I’d done all these months since he’d been gone and made getting over him a little easier. If I could just pretend that he was an ass and had treated me badly, then I wouldn’t feel any guilt or conflict. But no, he had to be sweet and sincere and sorry. I felt torn in two directions and I had no idea which was the right path to take.
Chapter 17: Mel
By Monday morning I had worked myself up into quite a state. I tried to call Lily in London, but all my calls kept going straight to voicem
ail. On top of that, I hadn’t heard from Ryan either. I had no idea what he was up to or if he was avoiding me, not that I would know quite what to say to him if he did happen to call. “Oh hey, you know my ex, Chad, contacted me and wants to get back together. What do you think I should do?” Despite how easy it was to talk to Ryan, I doubted even he would appreciate that conversation.
When I walked into work, I made a beeline straight for my cubicle and Candace. She was already there, busy on the phone. I motioned to her that I needed to talk with her pronto.
“Yeah, I’ll have someone come pick up the samples this afternoon,” she said. “Ok great, talk to you later, bye!” Candace hung up the phone and eyed me expectantly.
“Thank God you’re here,” I said, taking the seat next to her.
“What’s up? You look like you just drank a gallon of Red Bull. Relax and tell me all about it,” she said patting my lap gently. “And stop fidgeting.”
I exhaled a long deep breath and locked eyes with her. “You’ll never guess what happened to me this weekend,” I began.
“Did you get some?” she asked, without missing a beat.
“No! Uh—I mean yes, but that’s not what I was talking about.”
“Woo hoo! Go Mel! Who was it?” she asked, leaning forward eagerly. “It was Ryan, wasn’t it?”
“What? How did you know that?” I blurted.
“Oh my God! It was! I was just guessing,” she said. “I had no idea you two were an item.”
“We’re not! I mean, I’m not sure what we are exactly,” I stammered. “Darn it, Candace. Now you’ve got me off track. I had something important to tell you.”
“What can be more important than going over the details of your steamy weekend with a hot sexy billionaire?” she asked.
“Shh!” I hissed looking around the office. “You don’t have to say that so loud.”
She had the decency to look a bit guilty and apologetic. “Sorry about that. I’m just so excited for you.”
