“No, I should have paid better attention.”
She sighed and put her head on Daz’s shoulder. “I need help. Charlie needs help. I’m glad you think this Beth will help now.”
“Thank you,” he whispered into her ear. “I promise I’m going to be here in the future. I’m not going to make the same mistake again.”
I promise. That was what Daz had said about coming back in time for their son’s birth. She’d hung on to that promise for five months, including the two after Charlie was born. All those months, no word from Daz and no word from the Navy because she wasn’t his relative. She wasn’t his wife, just his baby momma. After a while, she let go of his promise and simply concentrated on her son.
“I won’t let you or Charlie down this time,” he said.
Maybe he guessed what she was thinking. He pulled her close. His body was so warm and she needed to feel not so alone, so she let him.
“I wish we’d never broken up,” he said.
“We had good reasons for that.”
He stiffened. “You sent me away.”
“After you made it clear where your priorities were and they weren’t with me.”
“I came back from that mission as soon as I could. I went to see you right away. I wanted to stay together.”
“You wanted to be together for our son. That’s what you said. Not for me. You never said anything about wanting to stay with me.” She swallowed hard. “I was crazy in love with you, Daz, but I couldn’t stay with someone who didn’t love me back.”
Silence. Daz put his hand on her knee. “You never said you were in love with me.”
“You never gave me reason to think that love was welcome. It was the opposite. You said I was an obligation.” She closed her eyes. If she could have, she’d have closed off her hearing as well. Her stomach flipped over.
“I didn’t know,” he whispered.
She shrugged and winced. “It doesn’t matter now. What matters is getting help for Charlie.”
“But—”
“Look, Daz, there’s nothing wrong with you not loving me back. We had good times and great fun and that’s okay. You can’t force someone to love you back. I know that.”
“And tonight?” he whispered.
“Tonight was us being what we always have been to each other. Fun. So let’s just focus on Charlie from here on out.”
Her voice stayed even through the entire little speech, which surprised Renee. Because she knew now that she was probably still in love with Daz and always would be.
He cleared his throat. “I didn’t realize. I’m sorry. But you’re wrong when you claim I didn’t care.”
“I didn’t say you didn’t care. Just that you didn’t care as much as I do for you. Did,” she said. There. She still managed to be composed. Good, now they could move forward without all these issues from their past.
“I came back as soon as I could,” Daz said. “I wanted you to marry me. How is that not showing how much I cared?”
Could he please just stop this? She leaned forward, her elbows on her knees.
“Think about what you said when you asked me to marry you. You said you wanted to get married right away. That meant moving to a military base in an area I don’t know with people I don’t know and then hoping you wouldn’t be assigned to missions that would require you to vanish for weeks at a time, which would leave me on my own with an infant son, without any support structure. And not once did you explain why you’d left me without word for so long.”
“I—”
“No, you started this discussion. Let me finish.” This time, her voice did waver. “Not once did you ever say to me that you loved me. Your proposal was all about Charlie and taking care of him.”
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked.
“People should get married for more than wanting to take care of a child. They should get married because they love and want each other. At least, that’s why I wanted to get married.”
“Renee.” Daz put his hand on her cheek. She pushed it away. His kindness hurt.
“I can’t talk about that last mission but the plan was never to be out of contact so long. I was supposed to be back in time for Charlie’s birth. But it went bad. I nearly lost the whole team.”
“I told you then, I’m glad you and your team made it. I wanted you all safe. But you didn’t have to go. You weren’t required to go. You told me that, at least. You volunteered.”
And that said it all.
“If I hadn’t gone, people on my team, people who trusted me, would have died.”
“Are you sure? No one else could go? There are a lot of Navy SEALs. Charlie has only one father.” And how she’d stayed awake at night, wondering if Charlie would ever have a father, worrying that the lack of communication meant Daz was already dead.
“I was their leader. Their lives were in my hands. I couldn’t walk away or their families would lose them. Remember what you said when you wanted to search for that missing plane? That you couldn’t sit by and do nothing? Well, the same thing with me.”
His hoarse voice and his halting words hit hard. She swallowed to clear the lump in her throat. “Why didn’t you explain it like this at the time?”
“Because I thought you’d understand things without me explaining it.” He tapped his chest. “I thought I knew it all. I was arrogant. I was thinking ‘How dare you question me? How dare you have a kid and put my life in a mess where I had to choose?’ I look back and I can’t believe it but that’s what I was thinking at the time.” He shook his head. “I was an asshole and didn’t understand that by choosing them, I’d also left you without support and let you down. I can’t say I’d choose different if I had to do it over again but I’d make damn sure you knew how I really felt instead of leaving it all undone.”
“And how did you really feel?”
He stared at her. “I was in love with you too.”
She curled into a little ball, as far away from him as possible. No more crying, not tonight. “I don’t believe you.” His actions at the time said otherwise.
“Yeah, I don’t blame you for not believing me. I needed to grow up. It took time to get used to being a father.”
“I got the crash course in motherhood without time to get used to it.”
“I know,” he said, his words barely audible.
She wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, to tell him she was glad he could admit all this. But how did you put back together what had been broken? There was too much history and hurt between them, no matter if she was still in love with him. He’d said he’d loved her too. Past tense.
The past was in the past.
He put his arm around her and they sat for a long time in silence. Her stomach settled.
“And what about tonight?” he asked. “What did that mean to you?”
That I never stopped being in love with you. Fuck.
She wasn’t going to tell him that, dammit. There was too much pain in all this. All she wanted was for the agony to stop. “Our moment’s gone. There’s no recreating it. We’re different people now.”
“So we get to know each other again as those people and do it right this time.”
“No.”
Charlie sighed in his sleep.
“Why not?” Daz asked.
“Because I can’t handle another breakup with you.” She wasn’t going to cry again. No, no, no. “I’ve never been in love with anyone like that. You broke my heart, Daz.”
Turkey, Nine Years Ago
The switch from open sky to the cover of the forest made every step more menacing. The beautiful green branches and the tall trunks of the trees loomed around them, almost like prison bars. The taller trees blocked off most of the light from the floor of the forest, casting dark shadows.
She was morbid today. Damn. But
Daz’s caution had infected her.
“So you’re saying we could get shot at any time?” she asked Daz.
“I’m saying if I think we’re in that kind of danger, it becomes a combat situation. If that happens, you need to do exactly what I say. And your dogs too.”
“Exactly?”
“Exactly. This is my job. I’m good at it. I won’t tell you how to run your dogs and you don’t tell me how to protect you and keep you safe.”
“Okay.”
They all stopped as the path faded from two feet of dirt to one and split into two directions.
“Which way?” she asked again.
“Gabe?” Daz asked.
“Sorry to stop, had a glitch. It’s working okay now.”
He pointed left. The path narrowed to six inches after ten minutes and down to just a few inches some time later. When the path bulged out again around a boulder, Daz set down his pack and pulled out a handgun.
“Maybe I’m paranoid but let’s get our weapons out of the packs and where they’re available, Gabe.”
“That’s a risk,” Gabe said. “Could be perceived as being hostile to those who aren’t yet.”
“I know. But with the other people out there armed and already shooting first, we’re not taking chances.” Daz belted on his gun and holster. He also checked on the smaller gun at his ankle.
“Yes, Sir.” Gabe did exactly what Daz had done except he also pulled out a half-sized machine gun.
“Is that an Uzi?” Renee asked.
“Something like that,” Daz answered.
Daz pulled up the cuff of his jeans and pointed to his ankle gun. “Do you want a weapon, Renee? Could you handle this?”
He was giving her respect and she hated to turn his offer down but she couldn’t accept the weapon. She well remembered the rule her father drilled into her: If you don’t know how to use a gun, then don’t pick it up.
“If you had a shotgun, I’d take it. But I’ve never used a handgun and don’t want to mess with a weapon I’m unfamiliar with.”
Daz put the gun back into his ankle holster. “Good reasoning. If you change your mind, let me know. If we run into trouble, I may pass it to you for any close-range, uh, problems, anyway.”
“You’re SEALs. You’re special. What could happen to me while I’m with you?” She smiled because the idea of having to shoot someone terrified her more than someone shooting at her. Rescue work in disrupted countries always carried danger. But usually Thor and Loki kept potentially hostile people at bay. And she’d never carried a gun.
“Back to the trail,” Daz said.
She clicked her tongue and Thor fell into step with her. Loki came bounding out of the bushes—maybe he’d seen a squirrel and wanted to investigate—and rejoined them. She tossed them more treats from her pocket, which they caught in midair. “Good boys.” She pointed to her feet. “Heel.”
Dogs responded as much to motions as to words but hers knew both word and gesture.
“Do you have your men as well trained?” Gabe asked.
“Hah. It’s been my experience that men who need that much training aren’t worth the effort in the long run.”
Daz took off his sunglasses and gave her a look that she’d no idea how to interpret.
“Well, c’mon, guys, do you like high-maintenance types? I bet not,” she said.
Gabe snorted. “It depends. Are they redheads or not?”
They shared a quick laugh and set off in a good frame of mind despite the seriousness of the situation. Renee relaxed. Only just now had she realized how much she’d kept up her guard with them. Traveling with big, strong guys she didn’t know was always a risk. Not to mention these two were seriously armed and dangerous. But so far, so good.
“There’s a clearing ahead. I’ll scout it first before we go into the open,” Daz said.
“I’ll send Thor with you. If he stops and taps you on the leg, that’s the signal he scented a person. It’ll give you some warning if you’re worried of an approach,” she said.
“Thanks.”
Renee knelt to Thor, called Daz over, let Thor sniff Daz’s hand, and told Thor to “heel” when indicating Daz.
“That’ll work?” he asked.
“Yep. He’ll stay right with you.”
“Great.”
“Keep in shouting distance, Daz,” Gabe said.
Daz saluted and took off in long, loping strides. Thor stayed right at his heels and they quickly disappeared among the trees.
She watched her step as they continued. This path was full of moss-covered rocks, signaling that during heavy rain, it became a stream. One careless step and she’d turn her ankle on the jagged, uneven stones. Even Gabe slowed down. The trail steadily sloped upward and her knees and thighs began to feel the strain. The sounds of birds became louder as the forest grew thicker. Far overheard, she saw the silhouette of a bird of prey against the sun.
“Hawk?” she asked.
“Possibly, although it’s big for a hawk. There are still some golden eagles native in this area of Europe,” Gabe said.
She shaded her eyes and squinted to get a better look, wishing again for the sunglasses left behind. “I’ve never seen a golden eagle in the wild. They’re supposed to be large enough to take down a deer.”
“A lot of predators in these woods,” Gabe said.
“Lions and tiger and bears?”
He grinned. “No tigers. We should worry about wolves instead.”
“If we stop at night, we should light a fire to keep them away.”
“No can do. Fire would give us away to the more dangerous, human predators. Hopefully, we’ll get to your crash site before that.”
“Amen.”
He shifted the pack he seemed to be carrying without effort. She wondered how much it actually weighed.
“What’s your plan when we do find the plane?” he asked.
Was he testing her? He’d been more skeptical than Daz.
“I have a radio from the camp. I’ll use that to call in the location. Hopefully, Kim will have cleared all the red tape hurdles and have copters and air rescue units out looking for survivors. They can home in and our job is done. And if my radio doesn’t work, we have your beacon.”
Gabe said nothing for a few minutes. “Our copter was shot at with rocket launchers that could have taken it down,” he finally said. “When the time comes, warn them about that.”
Rocket launchers? “Those are some dangerous human predators if they’re armed with that kind of firepower.” She ducked to avoid a low-hanging branch. The trail leveled off, putting them on solid ground. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“We’re not even supposed to have admitted as much to you as I just did.”
“But despite all the secrecy surrounding whatever you’re doing here, you came anyway.”
“Daz couldn’t resist helping you.”
“Are you saying Daz did this just to impress me?”
Gabe shrugged. “Not just to impress you. We all want that plane found. But impressing you was definitely a bonus.”
“I’m not sure why he’d want to impress me. I’m sure Daz has no problem getting dates.” Daz could hardly lack for women.
“You’re a challenge. He likes that.”
“I’m not sure how to take that.”
“It’s a good thing. It makes him think instead of react,” Gabe said. “More like he should. On a mission, he’s like that. Off-duty is another story.”
“Ah.”
“So what about you, Renee? Have you done a lot of this kind of work?”
“You mean search-and-rescue disaster work or searches in isolated areas?”
“Either.”
“My dogs specialize in searches more than disasters. We’ve worked on lost hikers, lost planes in
the mountains, even searches for criminals hiding out in wooded areas.”
“Not much earthquake work?”
“Two small relief missions. This is our first mass casualty event. Unfortunately, my dogs found mostly corpses here. I’ve decided I like searches better.”
He reached down absently to pet Loki. “You getting anything from them yet?”
“Only that they’re happy to be out for a walk and that they like you and Daz.”
“Dogs are good judges of character,” Gabe said.
Ahead, someone whistled. Thor barked, angry. Faintly, she heard Daz yell, “Holy shit.”
“Stay here! Take cover!” Gabe ran off, weapon at the ready.
Renee ignored the order and ran after him, her legs pumping furiously. Loki kept with her. Ahead, she heard Thor’s furious barking mixed in with another animal’s roars.
Bear.
Holy shit was right. She slowed, grabbed a heavy branch strewn on the ground, and burst into a small clearing just a dozen steps behind Gabe.
Daz was backed up against a tree, clearly trapped by a bear. The eight-foot-tall, snarling animal stood on two legs, looming over him. Thor barked and growled at Daz’s side, trying to protect him. Bright red spots decorated his coat. Blood.
Oh, no.
Loki shivered and whined. He wanted to join Thor in fighting the bear but the dogs didn’t have a chance in hell against such a huge animal. “Stay,” she ordered him.
Renee spotted two cubs lurking in the underbrush behind Daz’s tree. The bear swiveled its head toward them.
Joy. They had a pissed-off mom on their hands.
“She’s protecting her cubs,” Renee said in her calmest voice. “If you shoot her, Gabe, she may not go down fast.”
“Point,” Gabe said.
“If we could just get out of her way…” She whistled for Thor, praying he wouldn’t break training to attack the bear. He perked his ears and took off across the clearing to her. The bear turned, distracted now from Daz. Daz scrambled backwards, fast.
Good boy, Thor!
But instead of heading to her cubs, the bear roared and set off after Thor. Fuck.
She ran straight at the bear, waving her tree branch and blowing her dog whistle, hoping the animal would turn aside. Thor zoomed past her, to safety.
Phoenix Inheritance Page 13
