That was honest, at least. Daz always was. “This is a huge change in my life too.”
“But you want this baby. So you want the change.” It wasn’t a question.
Fair enough. She nodded and held her chin up. “I never knew I wanted a baby until I found out I was going to have one.” I want your baby.
He put his hand on her stomach. “Then I’ll make sure you’re both cared for.”
She opened her mouth to tell him she loved him. But the words didn’t come. She’d so wanted to hear that he wanted and loved her and their child.
But forcing him to feel those things wasn’t possible. He either loved her or he didn’t and she wouldn’t beg him to feel what wasn’t there.
Daz was a military man. He was all about service and obligations and duty.
Dammit, Daz.
Chapter Nine
Beth walked Charlie back to the other room. Alec, perhaps telepathically summoned by Beth, joined Charlie to play.
Daz wanted to celebrate. His son had special abilities and Beth was going to train him. He bet Beth could fix his autism too. She was a telepath, and she already worked with special needs kids to help them.
Best of all, Renee was accepting all of it very well.
“Nothing but good times ahead right?” he asked.
Renee gave him a look that he couldn’t interpret and walked over to the window that overlooked the grounds. “Problems can’t be solved just like that, Daz.”
“Well, yeah, Charlie has to learn to train his ability but…”
She was shaking her head again at him. “That will take time. And it’s possible that his ability didn’t make him autistic. Telepathy might not be a miracle cure.”
“But it might be too,” Daz said.
“Has Beth ever cured autism in her other patients?” Renee asked.
“Um…I don’t know. I know she helps them.”
“I love your optimism. I hope you’re right.”
Beth came back in. She glanced at both of them, no doubt sensing the tension. He knew he was broadcasting his thoughts pretty loud.
Beth cleared her throat. “We have a lot to talk about.”
“Apparently so.”
Renee sounded just like Charlie when she said that.
They settled down, with Loki at Renee’s feet.
“Charlie’s just as adorable as Daz always claimed,” Beth said.
Renee nodded. “Thank you.” She took a deep breath. “So what’s next?”
“I think I need to back up so you can understand what we are and what we do here. I intended to explain before talking to Charlie but…”
“Charlie’s meltdown interrupted,” Renee said.
“Exactly.” She crossed her legs and adjusted her skirt. “The reason the Phoenix Institute exists is to help kids like Charlie so they’re not scared of their abilities and they learn how to use them responsibly.”
“What led you to create the Institute?” Renee asked.
“Are you worried about some ulterior motive?” Daz said.
Renee glared at him. “No, I was genuinely curious. Besides, Beth asked before if we had questions. I let Charlie ask first but I have some of my own. Why would you think I’d accuse her of some ulterior motive?”
“Daz is probably touchy because this place was founded by a man with hidden motives,” Beth said, cutting in. “Richard Lansing, Alec’s guardian, was obsessed with using psychics to gain control of the world. To him, Alec was a weapon that needed to be properly trained, not a real person with wants and needs. He kept Alec in isolation on the grounds, only eventually bringing in Daz to help train him to work with a military team.”
“That sounds horrible,” Renee said.
“He coped better than I would have ever expected,” Beth said. “Having a new purpose helps.”
“And how did that all change? How did he get that new purpose?” Renee asked.
Daz stared at the floor. He hadn’t done enough to change it. He’d let Alec down.
“Alec, myself, Daz and several others changed it, after Lansing died. Well, we’re trying to change it. Lansing left a lot of his affairs to clean up when he died unexpectedly.” Beth sighed. “As for why I have a special interest in children, I mentioned to you that the lobby is a way to honor my mother, yes?”
“Yes, and that’s lovely. It sounds like you lost her very young?” Renee asked.
“I was kidnapped when I was eight by a group of men who wanted to use my telepathy for themselves. My mother died trying to stop them.”
“I’m so sorry,” Renee said.
“Thank you.” Beth cleared her throat. “I was rescued and given a normal life. For years after the kidnapping, my telepathy lay dormant, but every once in a while, it went out of control and overwhelmed me.” Her smile was wistful. “I was physically free but at the mercy of a power I didn’t know how to control. Alec learned how to control his power but he had no freedom. When we met, we sort of rescued each other.”
“That sounds like a beautiful love story,” Renee said. “And now you want to make sure other kids don’t go through what either of you did.”
“Exactly. As I said, Charlie’s lucky to have you both. So, what else?”
“There’s really just one question: is Charlie’s autism a result of his telepathy? Will it go away once he learns to control the telepathy?” Renee asked.
Daz straightened, intent on the answer, hoping he was right.
“No,” Beth said.
Fuck, Daz thought.
Beth leaned forward. “I spent some time reading Charlie’s mind at the end of our session. I can confirm his diagnosis. He’s definitely dealing with some unusual thought patterns that are on the spectrum. That includes his sensitivity to noise and light, as he demonstrated earlier, and his need for routine as well as his impulse issues. It’s not the news you wanted. I’m sorry.”
Daz stood. “You’re sure?”
“She’s sure.” Renee glanced at him. “I know, it’s tough to truly accept. I’ve been there. But Charlie can’t get the right treatment if we don’t accept his condition.”
“You’re dealing with all this very calmly, Renee,” Beth said.
“Calmly?” She glanced at the monitors. “I’m not calm. I’m screaming inside. I’m confused and overwhelmed and exhausted. But what else can I do but stay calm? Being hysterical won’t help Charlie.”
“And accepting we can never help him will?” Daz asked. “Maybe Beth could telepathically do something to his mind?”
“Daz, listen to me. I can’t alter someone’s mind so completely.” Beth stared at him for a minute. “You really thought I’d tell you I could completely cure Charlie?”
“What’s so wrong with that?” Daz snapped.
“Because if you’re in denial, you’re going to see him as defective,” Renee said. “He’s Charlie. All of him is Charlie, even his autism. That’s who he is.”
The same feeling of helplessness that gripped Daz when he was a prisoner in Germany gripped him now. Was there nothing he could do? “I hear you but…can’t you, like, order him never to throw fits, Beth?”
“Ordering him never to do it would require rewiring his entire mind. There’s no telling what the effects of that would be. Is that what you want for your son?”
No, but, dammit. There had to be some way he could help.
Beth stood and walked over to the monitor to stand with Renee. In the other room, Charlie was chattering to Thor.
“He’s tired,” Renee said. “He always rambles when he’s tired.”
“He used his telepathy far more than usual for him today. That will tire him out,” Beth said.
“Could you really do it? Order him to be safe?” Renee asked.
“I have the ability to order people with my telepathy, yes.” Beth pointed at Charlie. �
�A few times, especially if I make it an unconscious command, causes no harm. But I’d have to be with Charlie at all times to reinforce the order. Once I was away from him, my influence would fade.”
“And relying on someone else to order him around is no way for him to learn to deal with his emotions,” Renee said.
“Exactly,” Beth answered.
Daz looked over at the monitor at his son. “He seems fine now.”
“He is fine,” Renee said. “He’s Charlie. And you have to deal with all that he is.”
“You’re saying I haven’t been?” Daz asked.
Renee reached out and took his hand. Comforting him, he realized. “I’m saying because you haven’t dealt with it as much as I have that it’s easier to hope for a quick solution.”
“I have been there for Charlie!”
“What? I’m not saying you haven’t been,” Renee said.
“Sure feels like it.” He stomped over to the other side of the room.
“Daz, listen to her. She’s trying to help you, not criticizing you. And you were hoping I could wave a magic wand and cure Charlie. You know it. That’s what you’re angry about, not what Renee said.”
“She’s wrong about me not being there. Totally wrong!”
“She said you haven’t dealt with him and his problem as much as she has. Which is true. She meant no criticism. Maybe you need to ask yourself why you’re so sensitive to that charge.”
“I wanted to thank you for helping Charlie work through being angry with me,” Renee said to Beth, oblivious to the telepathic conversation.
“It was the truth. I just helped him see it.”
“It’s funny, I was inclined to believe him about the telepathy but I thought it was impossible. So he had every right to be pissed off at me.” She sat down again and looked over at him. “So tell us what’s next.”
Daz let them talk while he thought his way through his frustration. Renee was right. It was Charlie that mattered. And Beth was right. He was sensitive to the charge of not spending as much time with Charlie as he could have, because it was true.
He could have pushed for more than two weekends a month with Charlie. He could have been more open when Renee first told him she wanted Charlie classified special ed. And while Renee thought telepathy was impossible, he knew telepaths existed. He could have paid better attention to Charlie’s claims instead of thinking Charlie had an overactive imagination.
Beth cleared her throat, perhaps to gain his attention again.
“On the autism, I can tell you that from being in Charlie’s head that his thoughts can be very disorganized and they fire at an extremely rapid pace. Sometimes the ideas are so fast, he just acts on them without thinking. Other times, he has so many at once that he shuts down and falls apart. I suspect you’ve seen him react to both things.”
Renee was nodding. “You saw the second reaction today. It’s like he gets completely overwhelmed and can’t deal with the outside world.”
“Exactly.”
Daz took a deep breath. “Can you help him at all, Beth?”
“That’s the good news. It will take time, but I should be able to help him function more normally. I have to do some of the work telepathically. Not mind control or changing his personality but guiding him to reorder his own thoughts. Is that acceptable?”
“Yes,” Renee said. She closed her eyes and sighed. “You’ve both given me something positive when I was beginning to lose all hope.”
“You’re really okay with all of this?” Daz asked.
“Yes,” Renee said.
“Tell us about your treatment plan,” Daz said.
“What I do isn’t really that different from behavior therapy except I can go into his mind and reinforce it. For instance, I can guide him to attach a thought of ‘count to ten before you act’ or ‘take deep breaths to calm down’ to his impulsivity, so that he learns to slow down his reactions to stressful events, all on his own. That’s one example.”
“How long before it helps him?” Renee asked.
“Remember, I’m not ordering him to do anything, I’m helping him order his own thoughts and showing him how to reinforce his own thoughts. I’d expect some improvement in six months, and I’d want to work on his impulse control first, as that seems the most pressing concern.”
Renee nodded. “Definitely.”
“But I have to be careful because we wouldn’t want him to hesitate over something he does need to do quickly.”
“Like, say, run inside from a storm,” Renee said with a smile.
“Yes.”
“Teaching him to be able to count to ten before acting sounds like a gift from heaven,” Renee said.
“As I said, I have to do it carefully, so I’m guiding his own thoughts, not imposing my own. But he’s young and, with time, he should be able to do it on his own. It’s a coping skill, not a cure, but a good one. And we can do something similar with his sensory overload. I can teach him to process the sounds and lights slowly.”
“Okay. Good. Anything else I should know right now?” Renee asked.
“Unfortunately, yes.” Beth frowned. “It’s not about Charlie’s health, either, except indirectly. I believe he’s in danger.”
“From what?” Daz flexed his hand, instinctively tensing for a fight. “Does his telepathy hurt him?”
“No, his telepathy helps him, not hurts him. I’m speaking of danger from an outside force,” Beth clarified.
Renee sank deep into the couch cushions. “Outside danger?” she whispered. “What do you mean?”
The day was catching up to her, Daz thought. She’d already dealt with the revelations about psychic abilities, Charlie’s meltdown, and the further revelations about Charlie’s own abilities. She needed rest. He could take this burden off her, at least.
“You’re exhausted, Renee. You shouldn’t have to deal with this too. Go with Charlie and I’ll talk to Beth about it. This is my area,” Daz said.
“And I’ll be able to rest knowing there’s some unknown danger menacing our son? C’mon, Daz.”
Had she just said our son?
“I just wanted to take care of you.”
“Shutting me out isn’t the way.”
Beth cleared her throat again. “In any case, I wouldn’t be comfortable keeping this from either of you. Let’s make this easier. I’ll tell both of you telepathically. That will give you as much information as possible.”
“You want to read my mind?” Renee sat up straight.
“No, only talk to you telepathically. This is also a good way to show you how I talked to Charlie. Are you concerned?”
“No. I just trusted you with my son. I’m hardly going to hesitate for my own sake,” Renee said. “Let’s go. Show me.”
That was just like Renee to leap headlong into something new. Daz reached out and took her hand.
She grasped it. “No more keeping secrets?”
“No more,” he said.
“Okay,” Beth said. “Holding hands is a great idea. The more physical contact, the better the connection.” She reached out her hands to them.
“Daz, you shouldn’t have tried to tell Renee to rest. This concerns her as much as it does you.”
“Is that professional advice or personal meddling? And can Renee hear us?”
“I’m only speaking to you. And, yes, it’s personal advice. I know you’re trying to protect her but shutting her out isn’t the way.”
“How do you know so much about it? You and Alec have easy sailing between you.”
“Not so easy all the time. But I’m not thinking of us, I’m thinking about my father and his wife. You know how he shuts down emotionally. He’s had to make some serious adjustments now that he’s married. It’s not been easy. Luckily, Del not only loves him, she understands him.”
“If you’re comparing me to Philip Drake, I must really be doing something wrong.”
Laughter flavored the connection with Beth. “Philip’s starting from a rough place. It should be easier for you. But you and Renee are both self-contained. It’s hard to tell sometimes how deeply you care. I’m not sure even Renee knows how you feel about her. I’m not sure she ever will, unless you say it.”
Damn. “Can you tell how Renee feels about me?”
“You’ll have to figure that out for yourself. Relax, now, I’m bringing her into the link.”
“So what’s this danger?”
That was Renee’s voice. Her emotions flavored the words too. On the surface, there was calm. Underneath, though, he could almost feel the rumblings of panic.
“Daz, Renee, let me show you what Charlie saw through Odin’s eyes.”
And just like that, Daz was plunged into a vision of Charlie holding Odin. All he could see of Charlie were his hands. This must be his point-of-view then. That image vanished to be replaced by thoughts Odin must have sent to Charlie or, at least, what Charlie remembered Odin said to him.
An oversize man peered down at Odin, threatening, telling him he had to lure the nice boy out of his yard. Charlie cut into that memory, asking who the mean man was. Odin again, projecting very little except he hated the mean man and wouldn’t stay with him now that he had Charlie.
One thing was clear. Odin was really scared of the mean man.
Daz blinked and the room around them reappeared.
“Whoa,” Renee said. “That was interesting.”
“But you don’t sound surprised,” Beth said.
“No, I’m not,” Renee said. “That’s because Charlie said something like that before about a mean man and that Odin had been sent by someone to lure him away. I thought it was an odd thing for him to make up at the time. He usually reported happy conversations to me. That’s one of the reasons it took me so long to be worried about it.”
“I’m all for protecting Charlie, and we’ll look into this but remember, this is coming from a cat,” Daz said.
“I believe every word of it and that Odin’s fear was real,” Renee said.
“Why?” Daz asked.
Phoenix Inheritance Page 21
