by Evie Harper
Someone picks me up under my arms, and I start thrashing around and screeching, “I’ll kill you! I will kill you all for what you have done!
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Numb
Jake
Lily’s lying on the bed, staring at the wall. She sleeps, wakes, cries, and stares at the wall. The same thing, constantly on repeat.
I walk to the bed and kneel between Lily and the surface she has been staring at for the past two days. Her haunted green eyes sweep over me, but there’s nothing there. No recognition, no change to the lifeless body lying here.
“I’m so sorry, Lil.” My words come out strangled and thick.
I drop my head to the bed and feel my eyes glass over. I don’t know what to do, how to help her. I grab her hand, place it to my mouth and kiss her hard and long. Praying she can make it out of this, fight her way out of the dark and come back to me.
I observe her beautiful face: her eyes, still lifeless, her fiery spirit gone. Watching her like this is fucking killing me. The pain radiating from her body is like soundwaves knocking me back. It’s excruciating.
I get up and head for the door. Halfway there, she finally speaks to me, and I freeze. “You let them hurt her. Never touch me again.” Her voice is dead of all emotion.
Those words may as well be bullets straight through my chest. They send me to my knees, and I hang my head. I’ve lost her, before I ever really had her.
***
Lily
Darkness engulfs me, nothingness.
I feel something warm and soft on my hand. It pulls me from my dark numb corner. I don’t want to come out, but the warmth spreads to my chest.
My eyes shift to the offending existence that dares to bring me out where I know all the pain awaits me.
Jake.
Anger overpowers the warmth and entwines itself through my heart, barbed wire choking and slicing my insides. I know what comes next, memories and agony. No, go back into the dark corner where I can feel oblivion once more.
First, I want to hurt him.
“You let them hurt her. Never touch me again.” I hear the words but don’t feel them come out of my mouth.
Crawling back into my dark place, numbness curls around me like a warm blanket. Nothingness.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
There you are.
Staying in the darkness isn’t as easy as I wish it could be. The pain and memories slowly slip through. I try to shove them back; however, I hear a voice, smell some food or feel the need to use the toilet. I don’t want to do normal things. If Sasha can’t, I don’t want to.
Sometimes I think I can hear her, telling me to get up, fight. She sounds irritated at me. But that can’t be possible, just the memory of her lifeless body in my arms sends me crawling back into my dark corner, begging the agony to leave me. I can’t continue. My heart won’t take it. I always knew my parents would die with a broken heart if they had to live without the other. I didn’t realise I would do the same without my little sister.
I hear his voice again. Argh, I wish he would just shut up. He keeps bringing me back. I don’t want to come back. I want to stay here forever. I want to wither away to nothing and see my family. I have nothing left to live for. What’s in my future worth fighting for anymore? The darkness is the only place I want to be.
“Lily, it’s just you and me now.”
We’re sitting in the front pews of the church, shoulder to shoulder, leaning on each other’s heads, having just said goodbye to our parents. Everyone else has left. Thankfully, giving us some time alone.
“Yeah, Sash, I can see Mum up there now, trying to tell us things, such as, don’t use the expensive china. Don’t press the power button on the dishwasher too many times; you’ll break it.” We both laugh at remembering our mother’s words.
“I hope we die together. I would hate to be the last one left,” Sasha says softly.
“Sash, that won’t happen for a long time, and then we will have families of our own. We won't be alone,” I assure her.
“Well, if it ever happens, Lil, I want you still to have a happy life. That’s what Mum and Dad would want for us, and that’s what I would want for you,” she insists.
“I would want that for you too, Sash, but enough with this. You will be with me when we’re old and grey, and we have a hundred grandchildren running around our farm, through our green fields and wrecking our favourite tree.” We softly laugh together.
“Come on.” I pull my sister up to walk out of the church. We hold hands along the way. I feel something wet and look down to our joined fingers, blood, all over our hands.
My eyes flash to Sasha’s face, it’s bruised and swollen. “Lily,” she whispers shocked. She then falls into my arms and I scream.
I hear screaming. My eyes are stinging and there are hands on me.
My eyes open and my throat hurts. All at once, I realise it’s me. Jake is hugging my body, rubbing his hand up and down my back.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay,” he tries to soothe me.
I’m confused. The dream I just had comes back to me: Sasha dead in my arms. My heart splits open all over again. Every time I wake up with the same pain, my heart smashes open, the sharp edges cutting through my chest, and it’s too much. I’m so tired. I just want it to end.
Jake’s arms around me bring warmth and safety. I feel protected and hatred for him all at the same time. He awakens me to my life, this life with too much pain for my weak body to handle. However, just this once, I need him to give me some peace. I’m so tired of the pain. I want him to make me forget.
I’ve stopped screaming. Instead, I’m clinging to Jake’s shirt with strength that would rival Superman’s. No one is taking me from this peaceful moment. I just need a minute to believe, whether it’s real or not, that I will be all right.
Jake tightens his hold on me, and we lay in silence for a while. When he pulls back slightly, he examines me. His expression is tormented. A wave of guilt and longing sears through me.
With glassy eyes, he says, “There you are. I thought when I met you, I had seen the most stunning green eyes in the world. I was wrong. Right now, seeing them spark with life after seeing nothing in them for the past three days, they are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.”
I act without thinking. I kiss him. He pauses for a second before he’s kissing me back, hard and possessively. God, he feels so good, and now I know what Hell feels like, I can honestly say Jake’s mouth and hands on me are Heaven.
I start to lift his shirt over his head, but he pulls back, his eyes staring into mine. “Lily, you’re hurting. We can’t do this right now.” Jakes voice is clear and confident but his dilated dark brown eyes show me just how much he wants this.
I capture his face between my hands. “Please, Jake,” I beg. “I want to feel something, anything, other than the pain.”
Jake blows out a big breath. “Fuck, Lil, I want this, so fucking bad, but—” I can see the concern for my state of mind and the indecision on his face, so I cut him off.
“Jake,” I say with a firm, controlled voice. “I will not regret this. I want this.” And I do. I want anything other than the pain I know will return once my mind has time to think. I do want Jake, but I push those thoughts to the back of my mind unable to process what that might mean and what Jake’s role in this house of horrors really is.
Jake surprises me by giving in and swooping down, kissing me hard, passionately. I lift his shirt again and this time he helps. He releases my lips and whips the shirt straight off his body. His chest and arms are tanned, defined, and filled with incredible artwork. He’s magnificent.
Jake reaches for my top, and I realise I’m in my silk top and boxers. For a moment, I wonder how I got changed, but I’m too desperate to have Jake inside me to care. He does away with my top and slowly pulls down my boxers and panties. With each inch he lowers them, he kisses my thighs, knees, shins, and ankles. A delicious shiver spreads through my body, subduing
the heartache, just for a moment. The pain will return with force, but for this moment all I want to feel is Jake.
Jake discards my clothes and sits back on his haunches. He sweeps his gaze up my body, slowly and greedily, until he reaches my eyes. “You are so fucking beautiful,” he breathes out.
His gaze darts down to my breasts as he lowers himself and takes one nipple into his mouth. I arch my back at the welcome feeling. Warmth spreads to my pussy, and I grow wet from his addictive licks and sucks. I twist my hands through Jake’s hair and force him down harder on my nipples. I want him to bite them and suck harder. He groans and obliges. My breathing accelerates with every thrilling lick and an electrifying shock shoots to my pussy as Jake bites down hard on the side of my breast. I moan and fist the sheets.
Jake kisses his way up my neck and jaw. He pushes up until he is kneeling above me. He releases his erection from his zipped pants and holds his cock. One white bead spills over, and he rubs his cum covered head on my clit in circular motions, slowly. I moan in pleasure, my legs quivering from the intense orgasm that’s building.
Jake cups my cheek with his other hand and rubs his thumb over my lips. I slowly close my eyelids at his beautiful, intimate touch. My eyes open to see Jake’s heavy-lidded eyes staring down into mine.
“This is your last chance to stop this, Lil. If we go any further, I won’t be able to stop myself.” He looks down my body and licks his lips. “Tell me now, baby, are you sure you want this? Because when I’ve finally had you, you are mine.” Jake pauses for a second, before he continues with a thick voice, “You’ve turned my world inside out, baby. There will be no going back.” Jake continues to circle my clit with his cock.
Even if I thought I wanted to stop this, there is no way my body would let me. I shake my head and plead, “Please, Jake, don’t stop.”
He slows his movements and his cock glides around my clit again. My hips spasm with need.
“Baby, I want to hear the words. Do you understand what this will mean? You will be mine, now and forever.”
For this moment, I am done pretending I don’t want to be his. “Yes, yes, I understand,” I breathe out, grinding my hips harder on his cock.
Jake stops his movements on my clit, devastation and need fills my veins. I glare up at him only to find a smirk on his face.
He reaches down to his pants and pulls a condom out of his wallet. With a quick tear, it’s open. I lick my lips as the condom stretches to breaking point trying to fit over his cock.
Jake looks down to my slick wet folds and groans. “Fuck, I can’t wait to be inside you, Lil.”
Jake covers me with his body, one hand slips into my hair, and he brings my mouth to his. His kiss is aggressive. I love it. Holding onto Jake’s neck, I kiss him back just as roughly, biting his lower lip. His other hand pinches my nipples and my orgasm starts to rebuild.
He breaks the kiss and brings his cock to my entrance. “Jesus, Lily, you're so wet, and it’s all for me,” he growls.
Jake’s possessive gaze pins me, keeping me hostage as he slowly slides the head of his thick cock inside me. I moan as liquid heat runs through me. He pulls out and does the same again, and it’s agony. I just want him inside, stretching me.
He grabs hold of my waist and rolls us, pulling me on top of him. “Hold on to the bedframe, baby.”
I follow Jake’s instructions and hold tight to the metal bars.
“Take me at your own speed.” I stare down at Jake and understand what he’s doing. He’s giving me control, and even though I trust him, he’s giving me choices. He’s giving me back a piece of myself that was stolen.
I slowly lower myself. My head flies back and I arch as I moan from the exquisite feeling of Jake filling me.
“Damn, Lily, you’re perfect for me, so tight around my cock.”
Slowly, I slide up and down his girth, before building to faster, harder, faster, harder.
Jake’s eyes are transfixed, watching our connection as I rise and slam down onto him again and again. “Jake,” I moan, his actions getting me off just as much as having his cock inside of me.
“Shit, baby, you feel fucking amazing.” His voice is thick and hoarse.
My legs start to tremble. I’m seconds from falling into ecstasy.
“Hold tightly to the bars, Lil.” I tighten my hold and Jake grips my waist and thrusts up into me powerfully, surging into me again and again. I clench around his thrusting cock, and I moan, lost in the intoxicating bliss. I’m about to fall into the best orgasm I’ve ever had.
“Eyes on me, Lil,” Jake growls. “I want to watch my woman’s eyes go off when I make you come.”
My eyes find his and I scream, “Jake!”
He groans, “There’s my fiery girl. That spark breathes life into me, baby.” His voice is husky and strained from the powerful pounding he’s giving me.
I watch in a hypnotic state as he clenches his eyes closed and shouts out, “Fuuuuck!” His thrusts grow more powerful with every stroke in and out. Jake’s whole body tenses as he finds his release.
His hands loosen on my waist. Sitting up, he encircles me in his arms and buries his head in my neck, breathing heavily.
Jake grasps my arse and lifts me, gliding me slowly up and down his softening cock, then he gently lifts me off and lays me onto the bed.
He walks to the bathroom, probably to get rid of the condom. My eyes start to close, sated and exhausted, and I start to drift off to sleep.
My eyes open as one of my legs lifts up into the air, and I feel a warm washcloth between my legs. My heart trips over itself at this intimate gesture.
Finishing, he heads back to the bathroom, and then he strolls back over to the bed, naked and glorious, slipping into the bed behind me, hugging me to his front.
My body grows heavy, recognising the feeling of safety. Finally, I relax. Jake’s lips kiss my neck and my eyes close, and for the first time in days, I get a restful, full night’s sleep.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
She Was Everything To Me, My Whole World.
I lay in bed snuggled up to Jake for a while before I decide it’s time to open my eyes. The memories and the pain are still poking and piercing at my heart; however, for some reason this morning, in Jake’s arms, I feel better able to hold it together.
Guilt is burning through my blood like fire. Guilt that I am letting a man, a man who is part of this evil place comfort me, help heal me. Have I lost my mind so far that I find peace in what I should hate the most? In the back of my mind, I know Jake is the exception in this house of horrors. Last night was incredible. Something shifted between us, but I don’t want to acknowledge it. I can only handle one thing at a time, and right now, pain is the dominating factor. It spreads through my body like wildfire wanting vengeance.
Jake kisses my shoulder and I tense at the intimate gesture. “You’re awake.” His breath warms my neck. I push away, now uncomfortable with our position.
“Lily,” he warns, rolling me over and pinning me with the weight of his body. Jake’s hands gently cup my cheeks. I have nowhere to look, except into his warm, compassionate eyes. I do not want his sympathy.
“What?" I hiss. "Trapping me in this house isn't enough for you? Now I’m to be trapped beneath you.” I have so much anger in my soul that I don't care who I'm directing it at.
“That look right there, Lil, the hatred I see you have for me, it kills me.”
My eyes go wide at his words, Hatred.
“That’s not hatred, Jake. That’s rage. I want everyone in this Godforsaken world to pay for what happened to my sister.” I want someone to burn for taking my sister away, and right now, Jake is in my firing line. I don’t hate him, but someone must pay.
Jake hangs his head and sighs.
“Get off me,” I demand.
Jake shakes his head. “We need to talk, Lil.”
“Stop calling me that. She called me that,” I scream at his face.
Jake flinches at my outburst. �
��I can see you dying on the inside,” he whispers, his face one of pure agony. “Please come back to me, Lily. I don’t want to continue this without you.”
“Continue,” I repeat his words in a whisper. “Continue what, Jake? This isn’t a fucking holiday,” I hiss.
“Continue to fight,” he yells. Jake’s expression screams at me to understand him. He softly continues, “I need you to hang on. You need to trust me, Lily. I know that’s asking the impossible, but you can feel it. I know you can. I see the way you look at me. You feel safe with me, just as my heart knows you are mine. It’s instinctive and unexplainable, but we’re connected. We have been from the very beginning.”
He’s asking too much of me. “You want my heart, Jake?” I snap at him.
“Fuck, yes,” he snaps back.
My eyes fill with tears, and I whisper, “The remaining parts of my heart are broken pieces of glass with sharp edges, and I dare anyone to come near it. I will make sure it cuts them.” My voices breaks at the end.
He lays his hand over my dead chest. “I will piece it back together, and I would take a million cuts before I would ever consider giving up.” Jake lifts my chin to make me look him in the eyes. “I’ll show you. Your heart will begin to beat again, in time, and I will be here waiting to catch the first new beat it makes. Then and for always it will be mine.”
His tender words stop my anger in its tracks, a wall I built in my dark corner crumbles. Pain, longing and guilt spreads through my veins.
“I will do everything in my power to get you home. I just can’t stop the hurt in the meantime.”
Get home. Those words rock around in my head. At every turn I’m reminded of what I have lost. “Get home to what? I have no one left,” I whimper. “She was everything to me, my whole world.” He doesn’t understand, no one understands.
I look up at Jake, but he’s just staring at me so lost. “You have me, Lily. You may not want me, but you have me,” he says softly.
