Lily nodded as if not surprised. ‘That’s okay. This one has better clearance.’
Lex glanced in the direction of a car horn that sounded from the drive. ‘I’m off. See you later at tea.’ He picked up his hat before striding away and down the stairs two at a time.
They watched him go. ‘Still larger than life,’ she said.
‘I know,’ Lily said.
Sienna sat on Eve’s verandah and sipped another cup of tea. Eve and Maddy had gone off to Maddy’s room again, where Eve had moved in a recliner rocker for feeding.
Sitting opposite Sienna on the wide airy deck, Blanche Mackay confidently expounded on her theories of what could possibly have created a cluster of microcephalic babies in her territory.
‘I was reading about radiation poisoning affecting pregnancies. What about something from space, like a large meteor. I couldn’t see where that had happened in the last year, but perhaps no one noticed.’
Lily joined them with a plate of biscuits. ‘Or something radio-active dropped by one of those satellites that I see at night.’
Blanche smiled fondly at her granddaughter. ‘Satellites don’t drop radioactive “things” like something drops out of your handbag.’
‘Okay. So maybe something bounced out of a truck,’ Lily agreed easily and Sienna wondered if coming here had been an omen. Regan’s words floated back.
‘Apparently that happened in America.’ Sienna took a biscuit thoughtfully. ‘It’s a possibility we’re looking at, but there are so many regulations and safety issues in place in Australia when it comes to radioactive material.’ Sienna frowned. ‘I’ve spoken to the Director of Medical Physics at my hospital and he’s contacted a physicist to rule that out. I’m hoping he might have some more ideas about what type of accident could cause something like this. He’ll also run a scan to measure if there is any residual radiation coming from Spinifex. Though if radiation was a factor it would be an ongoing source, so you would think other people would be exhibiting symptoms.’
‘Like what?’ Lily asked and Blanche sat forward.
Sienna ticked them off on her fingers. ‘Severe tiredness, hair loss, nausea and vomiting.’ She looked up. ‘I haven’t seen any of that in Spinifex.’
‘What about a short-term exposure? An accident that was cleaned up. Something in a rubbish bin that had been found, not recognised and thrown away,’ Blanche said, warming to her theme.
Sienna nodded. ‘Of course that’s possible. Something short-lived is what we want to rule out.’
‘If it’s gone how do we find it, then?’ Blanche’s excited shoulders drooped.
Sienna sipped her tea. It tasted good like it did in Spinifex. Better than tea in the city. ‘I have several people combing for events. The mums. Their families. The FOG. The flying doctor clinic nurse has a diary and she’ll get back to me next week.’ She lifted her cup. ‘Or it could be cytomegalovirus running rampant in a playgroup. Or a coincidence. Or something we haven’t thought of. But I’ll address all of them and put strategies in place to help reduce the risks for the future.’
Blanche’s questioning subsided and she turned her head to gaze out into the paddocks, her face sad. Sienna appreciated her concern for the families already affected. Although she didn’t say there was nothing they could do for those babies already affected, because they were both thinking it.
The phone rang and Lily jumped up enthusiastically and dashed inside to answer it.
Blanche said, ‘That girl is like sunshine and I have another grandchild coming, which I can tell you I’m thrilled about. So, you’ll understand why I’m feeling the urgency to clear this up, Sienna.’
They both glanced towards the door where Eve had disappeared half an hour ago with Maddy.
‘I know. The good news is Maddy’s baby is fine and Maddy’s been living there for a couple of months. And I’ve been there for a week and I haven’t fallen ill at all.’
Lily appeared at the door. ‘It’s for you, Gran.’
‘Excuse me, Sienna.’ Blanche stood up and followed her granddaughter inside and Sienna suddenly realised what she’d said wasn’t strictly true. She remembered the nausea earlier that day, and come to think of it, even the tiredness. It was something she’d noticed since she’d been there. Unconsciously, her hand went to her hair and she tried to think if her brush had accumulated more hair than normal. Actually it had. She’d noticed it yesterday. Good grief. Was she being exposed to radiation and she hadn’t known it?
Her skin abruptly cooled, went clammy, and her pulse rate accelerated. With the rush of adrenaline her thoughts created, another urgent bout of nausea gripped her, and she almost knocked her teacup over in the need to make it out of the chair and into the house. Luckily, the bathroom was in the opposite direction to Blanche and she hastily shut the door.
Five minutes later, as she splashed her face at the sink and stared at her pale reflection, she tried to remember all of the side effects of radiation poisoning. Then she thought of Douglas. And Alma. And every other person residing in Spinifex. She needed the number of that physicist ASAP.
Someone knocked gently on the door. ‘Are you okay, Sienna?’ Eve spoke through the door, her concern clear as her muffled voice penetrated the thick wood.
Sienna let out a long sigh. She opened the door. ‘I think I might have radiation sickness.’ She lifted her eyes to her sister’s face.
Eve tilted her head. ‘Before you decide you’re dying, are your breasts tender?’
Sienna frowned. ‘No,’ and automatically lifted her hands to pat her chest. ‘Maybe.’
‘Well, that’s unexpected.’ Eve tried to hide her dawning smile and remain sympathetic.
Sienna stared at her. ‘What?’
Eve’s smile lit the room and her hand came up to cover her mouth. ‘I thought of it this morning when you said you’d been food poisoned. You and Callie both. Seriously? The GP and now the obstetrician? At least I knew.’
Sienna forced away a sudden unwelcome thought. Not possible. ‘What’s in your head? Don’t be silly.’
‘You wouldn’t be the first medical person in the family to miss the signs of early pregnancy,’ Eve teased.
‘I’m not pregnant,’ Sienna hissed forcefully, but deep, buried under the horror, she knew that the situation was perhaps possible. If it was true, well, it damn sure wouldn’t be for long.
She glanced around urgently, realising the implications of this being overheard. ‘Shhh. I’m not. And if I was I’m not having it. So, don’t blab everywhere.’
Eve raised her eyebrows. ‘Of course,’ she said soothingly, as though Sienna was a child. ‘But I don’t believe you,’ she declared, a soft smile on her face. ‘I know you. And you don’t give up on anything because it’s hard. This has happened for a reason.’
‘Great. What reason? So I can throw a brilliant career away? So I can have a microcephalic baby and spend the rest of my life being a carer? Oh, great idea, sis. No freaking way.’
‘It’s Douglas’s, isn’t it?’
‘I only had sex at Christmas,’ she hissed. But as she said it she realised it wasn’t true. Twelve weeks ago she’d been knocked over by a virus. Alone in her flat, miserable until Douglas had come. He’d nurtured her, fed her broth, and made exquisite love to her before he left. Damn him! And her stupid contraceptive pills mustn’t have been absorbed. She told others that all the time. Beware of illness and contraception. Not covered! Surely, this wasn’t true. Couldn’t be true. She raised her eyes to Eve’s and Eve held out her arms.
‘Things happen for a reason. It’s meant to be.’
As she leaned her head against her sister’s chest Sienna whimpered, ‘I can’t do this. I’ll be a terrible mother. You know I will. I’ll be just like her.’
Eve stroked her back comfortingly. ‘You’ll be an incredible mother. And Douglas will be an incredible father.’
Sienna drew a shuddering breath and straightened. Enough of the pathetic whining. ‘It won’t work. It wil
l never work.’
Eve smiled. ‘It will work.’
‘No, it won’t. We’re too different. We have no common ground.’
Eve glanced down at Sienna’s flat stomach. ‘You’ve got some common ground. And you’re both strong, wonderful people. Stop thinking and just feel. It’s a miracle, Sienna. Unplanned. Determined. Meant to be.’
Sienna sank against the wall and put her head in her hands. ‘I don’t believe this.’
Chapter Thirty-three
Maddy
Maddy stood with Eve on the verandah and waved as Sienna’s blue car disappeared down the driveway. She couldn’t believe she was still here in this oasis of warmth and support and not hiding from Jacob behind a thick wooden door in a room at the pub. For this time, she could allow herself to feel safe until she decided where she would go.
Still, she couldn’t help wondering what Jacob would say when he realised she’d left town. She prayed he wouldn’t find out about Bridget Clarice, who she’d named after her mum and the baby’s loud voice. Already, though, they were calling her Bee, and Bee was the most important player in this tragedy that wasn’t going to be a tragedy.
Then she glanced shyly at the woman beside her, who had been so gently supportive of her and Bee. Somehow, Eve had ensured that Maddy totally cared for her baby herself. She had been there but always as a bystander, with encouragement, and it felt good. Felt right. Felt wonderful that Maddy knew she could meet her baby’s needs herself. She could almost feel the weight of her baby just thinking about her.
Alma had rung last night. She said she had a plan with help from a friend. It all sounded very cryptic, but both Alma and Eve had said to just concentrate on her baby for a few days and they’d talk about the future then. She’d been secretly pleased to not think. Not plan. Just be. Be with Bee.
Since her introduction to breastfeeding – something she could admit she’d found a little trickier than expected at first, perhaps because Bee had demanded the same fast feed she’d had from the bottle – it had become easier every feed. In fact, it had turned into an incredible experience, starting from when Eve had undressed Bee and placed her naked squirming body against Maddy’s skin, until Bee had found her own way to the breast and at last settled by feeding.
The solid sleep of the first twelve hours of her baby’s life had changed since she’d woken in Sienna’s car. Now she was demanding to eat almost every second hour, but Maddy didn’t mind. And Eve had reassured her that it was Mother Nature’s way of making her milk come in. Who knew these things? After that first feed Bee had settled, slept and then woken again to feed.
Eve had made a small crib next to Maddy’s bed and said to just lie there and get to know her baby. To feed as many times as the baby wanted in the next twenty-four hours, and gradually she’d find a pattern. Already it seemed to be working.
She heard a strident cry, met Eve’s eyes with a smile and turned away to comfort her baby.
Chapter Thirty-four
Sienna
Sienna left after lunch, much later than intended, and hoped, gloomily, she’d make it back before nightfall. She doubted she would.
As she drove away from her sister’s homestead, Maddy’s problems were leapfrogged by her own dilemma. She’d sworn Eve to secrecy, though the idea of her sister keeping anything from Lex was ludicrous. She’d accepted that. No choice there – but Lex wouldn’t share her news with anyone.
At least no one else at Diamond Lake Station knew of her horrendous discovery – though even she knew the word ‘horrendous’ sounded inappropriate. They’d managed to avoid Blanche finding out about the episode in the bathroom and the revelations soon after, and Lily and Maddy had been in their own worlds – bless the tiny vegemite for that.
The baby had taken the focus off Sienna. Even Blanche had been captivated and highly amused when the cute bundle roared and almost brought the roof down every time her mother had changed her nappy.
Strangely, this morning Maddy had looked rested despite the demands of the noise machine. In fact, the young mother had positively glowed in the nurturing environment of Sienna’s saintly sister, and had even come up with a name. Sienna approved of naming the baby after Maddy’s mother if that was what she wanted. Though they wouldn’t be naming Sienna’s baby after Sienna’s mother, she thought grimly.
She could not in any way see herself being domestic or googly-eyed over some squirming demand-feeder at ungodly hours all through the night. Though she guessed night-hour motherhood wasn’t so different from being on call for someone else’s birth.
Her brain began that negative ‘not now, how did this happen’ chanting again, and she gripped the steering wheel hard until her fingers blanched. This could not be true.
Only it was true. The moment Eve had mentioned it she’d known in her bones. And Eve had supplied her with a pregnancy test that had confirmed it.
What the hell was she going to do? When should she tell Douglas? How could she tell Douglas that she, the expert, had stuffed up? Maybe she could just quietly go home and not mention it in case . . . But even thinking about that made her queasy.
This was all Eve’s fault. Her and her bloody words, her sentiment about it being ‘meant to be’, ‘a precious opportunity’, ‘destined’. All of which insidiously voted for Sienna to accept the inevitable. But she had a career. A life. A world that would change forever if she added a family into the mix.
And what of the other half of the new equation? What of Douglas? What would he think, feel, say? She eased her hold on the wheel to release the cramp in her fingers. He had his own world, too. In the outback. He was set in his life. Saving the world in his own way. What would Douglas say? She didn’t know what he would say, but he certainly had the right to say it.
Twelve weeks. These were dangerous times for a pregnancy. When Mother Nature had the right to take a hand and orchestrate a loss. A huge proportion of foetuses miscarried before twelve weeks. And her eggs weren’t young. Maybe she would be one of those mothers? More destiny? Though why she should feel hollow at the thought drove her crazy. This whole thing would drive her crazy. Her being a mother epitomised crazy.
Her own mother should never have had children. And she hadn’t planned to until she’d fallen in lust with their father. After he’d left she’d told Sienna time and again that it had been a mistake.
She thought of Eve. Calm, capable, caring Eve, a woman who would without a doubt be a wonderful mother. Was already a wonderful mother to Lily. Eve was a product of their mother, so maybe there was hope for Sienna, too. Callie was a fabulous mother, and she shared half her genes with Sienna.
Nooo. Whyyyyyyy me! She pressed a hand to her brow and then her finger drifted down to press play on the stereo to drown out the voices in her head and try to listen to Mick Jagger. After three minutes of ‘As Tears Go By’ she switched it off. Looked at the wide open plains surrounding her. Tried to breathe in the stillness for her frantic brain. Noted the sun moving down behind the low hills in the distance, and hoped she didn’t hit one of the foraging kangaroos that loved to jump out at dusk and play kamikaze.
Ten miles out of Spinifex Sienna needed to stop. And it had only been an hour and a half since the last stop. She needed to stretch her legs, pee. Or at least walk around the car. But she’d noticed the lights from a car coming her way, and she waited for it to pass before she pulled over. Except it didn’t. Pass that is. Weird. The headlights had merged into one light and the undulations in the road made it dance left to right on the horizon.
Sienna yawned and decided she’d become more tired than she’d thought, and wished the vehicle would hurry up and approach so she could put her own lights back on high beam.
Annoyingly, the vehicle seemed to slow. ‘Come on,’ she said out loud, but it still took its sweet time to get to her. Later she couldn’t remember when she realised the light had arrived as she drew level and saw it wasn’t connected to a car at all. Just a light.
The light, glowing like a big
white football of brightness, hovered at the side of the road and danced a jig. What the hell?
Sienna checked her rear-view mirror, expecting to see a car behind her with a spotlight, maybe shining on the trees, or perhaps moonlight off some hidden water puddle reflecting. No other car.
She slowed, confused, trying to work it out. The fuzzy light danced and shifted of its own accord, like a mischievous firefly on steroids, and her trickle of disquiet morphed into full-blown fright as she realised it wasn’t anything she could explain.
Not freaking Alma’s Min Min?
Her foot stamped hard on the accelerator and all the dozing horses under the bonnet picked up on her demand as the car hurled itself forward in a stampede of torque and power and eight pumping cylinders.
Sienna’s hands clutched the steering wheel in a death grip and her heart pounded in her ears as the Mustang roared up the road and sped away from the light. Her heart punched like one of the pistons under the bonnet as the distance widened between her and the strange light, and unconsciously her hand drifted down to protect her stomach.
Flicking her gaze down, she realised what she’d done, and at the same time she eased her foot on the pedal and slowed the bolt for Spinifex to a safer speed. So, she’d discovered one thing – she’d rather grapple with an unexpected pregnancy than be lured to some spaceship or supernatural realm by a freaking watermelon-sized glow. She wasn’t sure she’d be telling Alma or she’d never hear the end of it. She rolled her eyes, already thinking she’d imagined it. Had she really seen that?
And if she had, what would Alma say?
Half an hour later, parked under the pub carport at the edge of the yard, Sienna’s hands had stopped shaking enough to get her key out of the ignition. Evidently, the locals had decided the shed belonged to Sienna, or maybe they just liked to park closer to the door of the pub, and she didn’t disabuse that concept, very happy to take advantage. It almost felt like home after the fright on the road.
The Baby Doctor Page 19
