by Nako
“I bet you do,” Porter respected the sacrifice he made in relations to religion. He couldn’t do it. He loved to eat too much.
Big Moses ordered a platter of wings, “Shit, I’m hungry too.”
He was always hungry.
“I’m surprised Teka ain’t got you on no green smoothie diet,” Juice commented.
He shook his head. “Had one this morning! I told her I’m so tired of shitting. I don’t want to see another smoothie for a month.”
Porter chortled and so did Juice. Teka didn’t play when it came to her husband’s health. Moses had high blood pressure, he was also pre-diabetic and smoked more than the average man.
She told him often that he wasn’t clocking out on her no time soon.
Moses went to the gym, took a picture to send to her for good measure. Sometimes, he would even do a lap on the treadmill, so some sweat could form on his forehead and soak his shirt. Then after she sent him back a text message telling him how proud of him how he was, Moses would go sit in his car and smoke a blunt while playing dominoes on his phone.
He was sick of Teka’s ass being on him about his weight, but in that same breath, he loved and most importantly appreciated that she cared about his well-being.
“How is the wedding planning? Don’t wait to the last minute to have us get fitted our tux,” Porter reminded him.
Moses nudged Juice, “You know he ain’t got shit else to do.”
They shared another laugh and Porter wasn’t hearing nothing Big Mo was saying. “Nigga, you ain’t out here slinging birds no more. You right along with me at daddy day care.”
Juice wanted so bad to tell them that he was a dad too. However, he wasn’t near the kind of dad that they were. On the left and right of him were stand-up niggas, amazing dads, loving husbands and street-savvy businessmen.
“I’ve been trying to tell her I wanted to slow down a lil’ bit. It’s all moving so fast. I’m tired.”
Porter often told him to enjoy life more, but Juice was just like him at that age. Dedicated. Determined and not playing no games.
“A wedding is one long, expensive day. Marriage is a lifetime, well…at least it’s supposed to be. These days…shit don’t even make it a year.”
Juice understood that completely, which was another reason why he sort of wanted to slow it down…a tad.
“You ever felt like…your girl didn’t really know you?” he knew his question was far-fetched considering he’d been around since the beginning stages of Mahogany and Porter’s relationship. He turned his head to Big Moses for an answer to his question.
“Nah, blood. T is my best friend.”
Big Moses called his wife T sometimes, Juice used to do that shit too.
Tia…
It had been two long weeks since he was inside of her lake and boy, if he could shut his schedule down and lay up under her to make up for lost time, he would in a heartbeat.
They spoke a few times, but every conversation was brief. No one brought up the passionate sex that they shared. She asked about the label and nothing more. He wanted to see her. He had asked her to meet him in any city of her choice, but she’d yet to give him an answer. Tia was honestly confused. She didn’t want to do this with him and yet, at the same time couldn’t stop thinking about him.
“How about you tell us what’s really going on?” Porter suggested, casually.
Something had been on his mind and clearly, he needed to talk. On top of Mahogany ratting him out already.
“I know you know.”
Porter grinned slyly, “Of course.”
Big Mo had to be filled in, which took no time.
He shared with them the gist of the weekend, sweeping over how he blew her mind, but he did let them know that they shared a bed.
“Now what?”
Juice shrugged his shoulders. “I want her.”
Did he care that he had put a ring on another woman’s finger? Uh...that’s where his mind was boggled at.
“What about Faaizah?” Porter always said her name wrong. He was constantly correcting her.
“Fye-Zah.”
Big Mo chimed in, “Homes said get his fiancée’s name right!”
Lil’ Juice was growing up.
Their food arrived promptly, and Juice dived in. As he chomped down on a hot wing smothered in blue cheese. Porter stared at him, intensely.
“I want you to weigh the pros and cons.”
Relationships were hard work. They weren’t easy. What Porter didn’t want Juice to do was simply act on emotion. Love was beautiful, don’t get him wrong. But it wasn’t the only factor to consider when choosing a mate or someone that you’ll be with for an eternity. Many people acted purely out of love and that’s where they fucked up at. A lifetime partner had to be more than your lover. A partner…your future spouse needed to fill shoes. Shoes that you couldn’t. Good looks and exquisite skills could only take you so far. Outside of the bedroom, what else did they bring to the table?
Porter wasn’t discrediting Tia. He only wanted his protégé to look at his decision from every angle. Would Tia make a good wife? Did she want a family? Was she ready to settle down? Another important thing that he needed to ponder on was, did she forgive him? Juice did some fucked up shit to her. Was she over it? Could he trust her?
“I did.”
He was shocked to hear that. “You’re really considering calling it off? Does Tia even want you?”
Good question.
He wasn’t sure but would do whatever he had to do to claim her again.
“Where is all this coming from?”
Juice seriously thought about it before answering.
“How was Houston baby?”
Faaizah was getting down in their home-gym. She was addicted to spin cycling and last year for her birthday, he surprised her with a pink one and she’d been going crazy on it ever since.
“It was cool.”
The trip was fucking mind-blowing, but he would keep all of that to himself.
“I was going to make some fish and potatoes for dinner, is that cool with you?” She was still pedaling in high-motion.
“Yeah, when do you wanna go bowling?” He always kept his word with her, or at least he tried his hardest to do so.
She slowed down and wiped her forehead. “It doesn’t matter. How long will you be here?”
He silenced his ringing phone, it was one of his baby mamas calling.
“For a lil’ bit, we can do whatever you wanna do. I’m free every day except Wednesday night.”
Most women would ask what’s happening on Wednesday night, but not his boo.
Juice asked himself on more than one occasion should he be at peace that she never questioned him…like ever.
“We can do Thursday…whatever works for you. I’m on your time,” she told him with a smile.
But the thing is…he didn’t want her on his time. He wanted her to have her own schedule. Her own life. Tia had shit going on.
He couldn’t stop comparing them, he’d been doing it since his flight.
Tia enjoyed life with friends, Faaizah only hung with the girls from the mosque. She didn’t step outside of her comfort zone. She lived in boundaries set by her family.
Ugh, Juice was annoyed.
He nodded his head. “I’ma drop my dirty clothes in the hamper, shower and lay down for a lil’ minute.”
“K baby!” She kicked it up a notch, prepared to do another mile on her bike before stopping. Working out was her kryptonite.
He ambled out of the room, made it to the threshold of their master, shook his head and then went back to the gym. He needed to get something off his chest.
“Faai,” he called her name, expecting her to stop what she was doing and talk to him. Actually, look him in the eyes. Communicate effectively.
Sometimes, she was like a freakin’ robot. A submissive ass person with no soul. If she wasn’t so plain he would think that her family made her like him, forcing herself to
love him for stability and security. But they weren’t those kinds of people.
“Yes honey?”
She was so determined to burn this insane number of calories.
“Let me rap with you real quick.”
He could tell by her posture that he was interrupting her vibe and probably her routine too. She was predictable.
“It’s cool, don’t worry about it,” he ended up telling her, impatiently.
“No, wait a second…. we can rap or whatever,” she used his slang.
Juice handed her a towel and a bottle of water as she climbed down.
“Thank you.”
He looked at her, intensely.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
She wondered where the question came from as she patted her forehead, “Okayyyy… it’s one of these kinds of conversations. Can we go in the sitting room?”
He followed her out of the gym and they both made a sharp left. She turned the fan on as soon as they stepped down into what was often called a great or sitting room.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded his head. “Yeah, I’m good. I want to know what are your plans? Like your future plans. You said that you started school-”
“A long time ago…it wasn’t for me,” she said quickly.
“Well after the wedding, I’ll be back to work and on the road. What will you do all day?”
Was he drunk? High?
“Uh, Jihad… the same thing I do now… keep the house together. Help my parents out at the store…Where is this coming from?” She shook her head, confused.
“I have money.”
That she already knew.
“Okay and?”
“You can do anything you put your mind to, the world is all yours. How about starting a business?”
She looked down at the floor and then placed her hands in between her warm thighs.
“Where is this coming from?”
He sighed before telling her, “I’m really focused right now.”
“You don’t think I know that?” she raised her voice a tad. Before he could get a word in she went on a rant.
“I mean how could I ever forget? You live out of a suitcase. I talk to you for an average of ten minutes every two days. I don’t need your constant reminder of how focused you are. Cut the bullshit and tell me what this is really about?” She eyed him, up and down.
He sat back and crossed one leg over the other.
“I want you to have a life outside of us. I’m not slowing down anytime soon. If you want us to pause the wedding-”
“How long have we been together?” She raised an eyebrow.
Juice didn’t believe she was understanding where he was coming from.
“Faai...”
She raised a hand to silence him and then gave him the look that only black women could give. “No, don’t fucking Faai me.”
She rarely cursed, so he knew she was mad.
“I’m me, Jihad, and I’m not going to change because you’re going through whatever the fuck you’re going through this week.”
“What the FUCK is that supposed to mean?” he seethed.
“You’re depressed, I’m not,” the words casually spilled out of her mouth as if what she had just said was…acceptable. However, it wasn’t.
“DEPRESSED?” he pointed to his chest. Juice asked her specifically, “You think I’m depressed?”
Now the nigga wanted to play games, she wasn’t doing this shit with him.
“Sit here and play stupid if you want to. I’m happy with my life. Don’t come home trying to fix shit that’s not broken. I’m going to shower and cook dinner.”
The conversation was done.
What irritated him was that IF he was depressed, why not try to talk to the so-called love of your life about whatever you felt like he was dealing with?
Juice was convinced that Faaizah was comfortable in her position and she wasn’t going nowhere, nor did she care about what he was going through.
Tia mentioned a few times throughout the years that his emotions were imbalanced, but to use the “D” word gave Juice the jeepers creepers.
“Nigga, are you here?” Porter tapped his shoulder. Lil’ bro was tripping.
“She doesn’t really have my best interest at heart. She does, but she doesn’t. If you were to randomly ask her, how is Juice or what is he up to? What is he working on? She don’t know shit nor do she fucking ask!”
He felt like a fool now.
“Can I take wild guess? Tia asked you about all of that?” Porter wanted to make sense of everything.
“Yes, she did. I don’t care about your philosophy or whatever you about to try to tell me about this being one conversation and how I’m getting carried away and tossing away a good girl… I don’t want to hear it, P.”
“Tia cares period and if she doesn’t care that’s cool too. I’ll be single. I got so much other shit I can be focusing on anyway…” He thought about his kids.
“Does she know you still got your other place?” was his last question.
Juice shook his head. “Nah, she never asked.”
“Oh, but she made sure that you stopped paying that girl’s tuition?” Big Moses instigated, playfully.
Juice gave him a stupid look. “Exactly...facts my nigga.”
The girl of his dreams…he watched her walk away out of his life time after time.
He was now regretting a few things and luckily, Tia still came out on top. He forgot to ask her out of curiosity, how did she pay her tuition.
“I want you to trust your gut. Let your heart lead you, but make sure you do some serious thinking about what your next step is.”
Impulsive decisions were the devil.
Juice would do that.
He so happened to glance at the six o’clock news on the flat screen behind the bar and saw a nasty ass accident out in PA.
“Whew.”
A tractor trailer crashed into several cars…
He took his eyes away from the television to pick up another hot wing, but then he swore that whip looked like Faai’s. Juice stood up and squinted his eyes.
“I know I’m tripping,”
She wouldn’t be on that interstate anyway.
“What’s wrong?” Porter asked him.
“Nun, I thought that was my girl car, but it can’t be.” That wasn’t his baby…wasn’t no way.
His friends saw the nervous look on his face and urged him to check on her to give himself peace.
“Call her and see,” Moses suggested.
She and Juice really wasn’t talking right now, but he phoned her anyway.
The call rang a few times and then her voicemail picked up. Faaizah always answered his calls.
Nervously, he called back a million more times before he started to sweat bullets.
“Let me call her mama just to make sure.”
Her mother’s phone went straight to the voicemail.
Something was wrong.
Juice then called her Pops.
“Jihad, where are you?” he screamed into the phone.
“Hey, do you know where Faai is?”
Her father filled him in, “They were in a car accident. I was about to call you. The hospital just called me.” He was hysterical.
Juice couldn’t get out of that bar fast enough. Moses drove him because he was distraught while Porter informed Mahogany and Juice’s mom of the news, although there wasn’t any real news to give right now.
He didn’t remember anything after going through the double doors of the emergency room and being led to the intensive care unit.
η
Tia hadn’t found a pro-bono case that pulled on her heart strings and boy, had she been looking.
“Tia, you’re here late.”
She wanted to tell the attorney that dropped his carrot-shaped head in the nook of her office door that she was always here late but kept her comment to herself. Instead she gave him a fake, chirpy, “
Yep.”
She went back to going through the files.
Truth be told, she’d rather be at work than home. But hell, work wasn’t really where she wanted to be either. For now, it filled the void. She had tons of empty voids, including her heart. She kept replaying several conversations that she’d had over the past two months with people. Her hairstylist, line sisters, friends, her nail tech, the chick that did her monthly sugaring on her vagina, her young but bold and nosey ass mentee, even Coop. What was a person to do when everyone around you saw something in you that you didn’t?
Tia wanted so bad to believe what people said about her, the good things of course. She wanted to see what they saw in her. Tia was hollow. She was suffering in silence because she felt like she was existing over living and wanted it to be turned around. Up and down, her mood was so damn up and down. Monica sung about it being one of them days and she was feeling truly blue today. Looking for a damn pro-bono case was the least of her worries. What she wanted was to go home, but his smell lingered, everywhere. In her living room, on the couch and the pillows.
She smelled him in her truck. Every time she walked into her room, her eyes quickly darted to the headboard and her pussy thumped. Sex would never be the same if she wasn’t being bent over on a damn headboard. The inside of her legs was tight and still sore. He gave her an extreme workout. The way he licked her, so passionately…’til four in the morning he reminded her why they called him Juice in the first place. He made her pussy even juicier than it already was. That dick was so good that it made her tongue tied, she still hadn’t been able to talk about it. Keiva and Karma was aware that she gave him the goods only because Karma swore that they kept her up all night from the constant moaning and screaming. Declaring their love to each other.
He called her name loudly and she yipped his, passionately. Tia was spent.
She wanted so bad to kiss him goodbye, but he didn’t make a move, so she remained in bed. She wished that she could take a trip inside of his mind. Tia would love to know how he felt about the time they shared. Was he pleased? Did he sleep good on the plane? Did she taste the same? Was it what he imagined it to be? Did he still really love her? Could they work this out and put the past behind them? Low-key, she was willing to do it if he was. It was hard starting over…which is why she was still single. Juice was her one and only. It was crazy that after so much time had passed, she still physically and mentally reacted to him in the same way. What was that called? Good fucking chemistry. A connection like no other. Tia had so many questions for him. There were so many avenues she wanted to explore. They had so much to catch up on. Lost time. Stolen memories. She wanted them all back plus more. If only he was willing. Was he…willing?
