'And you thought that I was with Alain,' she said miserably.
'I did not,' he answered in an even voice, clearly returned to normal long before her, although it had not meant so much to him.
'Anyway,' she sighed, 'if you could see the door open then so could anyone else.'
'It is no longer open,' he said quietly. 'As I came through, I locked it.'
'Why?' she asked with a breathless waiting in her voice that had him urging her on faster.
'Do not even think of that!' he said roughly, leading her into the empty hall. 'It is something that I am trying to forget.'
CHAPTER EIGHT
Once in her room, Beth sank to the bed, trying to recover and return to some sort of normality, a deep and painful aching inside her that refused to be quelled. But there was no time to sit and brood over the magical and frightening time in the garden, no time to be filled with remorse over her behaviour. She knew that her own longing and actions had driven Gaetan to something that he would regret, something that he regretted now, and things would never be the same again.
Soon, very soon she would have to leave, and there was no way that it could be left until her next birthday. She would have to persuade him to let her go back to England. He would probably be only too glad to let her go now. She was a danger to both of them.
Her own appearance shocked her. Her eyes were over-bright, her mouth too full and pulsating, and there was a new feeling inside that made her slender body seem voluptuous to her own eyes. She would step into the brightly lit room and they would all know! A wave of panic washed over her when she thought of what it would mean to Gaetan and she lingered unforgivably.
He came to fetch her, knocking softly on the door and coming in when she could not even bring herself to answer.
'Hurry! I cannot keep them waiting any longer!' His face was harsh and tight, no lingering sign of passion in his eyes, and she looked at him helplessly.
'I—I can't! Tell them that I've got a headache! Please, Gaetan!'
'No!' He strode forward and grasped her, lifting her to her feet. 'You must face them and live through it, my girl. You are a woman now and you should be quite capable of facing the eyes of anyone!'
'Facing the consequences of my actions, you mean?' she murmured unhappily her face flushed as she looked away.
'No, facing the consequences of my actions!' he snapped impatiently. 'I have told them that you felt a little faint and they believed it; it is in fact true,' he said ironically. 'Come,' he added in a kinder tone, 'there is not much longer left to be brave. Let us go down and get it over with.'
There was no alternative and she faced them, grateful to Gaetan that for the rest of the evening he stayed at her side, wondering how she was going to tell him that she wanted to go back to England.
'Some time this week, there will have to be a trip to the coast,' Alain reminded Gaetan as they all had coffee before leaving. 'I cannot say that I am looking forward to it, but then again, it has to be done. Do you wish me to go alone?'
'No!' Gaetan was clearly not anxious to discuss work at this late hour and his voice was touched with irritability. 'Naturally I will need to go too and it will be a good idea if Gabrielle were to come along. I shall need her.'
'For what will you need me, chéri?' Gabrielle was there at once, sitting beside Gaetan on the settee, making the most of the fact that he had spoken her name. She had not been too pleased that he had spent all his time with Beth since she had come back into the room, and it had shown on her face.
'It is the new material,' Gaetan said, glancing at her with a smile. 'Alain will need to make the trip and so will I. I would like you to go too.'
'Shall we be staying the night?' Gabrielle said, managing to attract the attention of most of the guests and making it sound like a private assignation between her and Gaetan.
'We shall stay the night,' Gaetan said smoothly, adding, 'As it is at the coast, we may as well make it into a small holiday. We will travel early one day and return the next evening.'
'Then I shall take my own car and desert you!' Alain cut in with an irritability of his own. 'A trip to the sea I can well do without. I will leave you two to paddle alone!'
'Oh, we shall not be alone,' Gaetan said into the embarrassed silence that followed these disclosures. 'I have every intention of taking Beth with me. The weather is good and she will enjoy the sea air.'
'Ah, well,' Alain said, smiling at Beth. 'In that case…'
'I haven't said that I'll go!' Beth burst out, her eyes on Gaetan's aloof face.
'But you will, petite,' her guardian assured her tauntingly. 'I shall persuade you. In any case, Alain will be there and you can paddle together.'
They stared at each other for a second, everyone else in the room forgotten, and then Gabrielle said in an over-bright voice.
'I think that she deserves it! After all, chéri, you are the only one who has not given her a present. Is this her present then, a few hours by the sea with Alain?'
Beth's face flushed painfully at the taunt and Gaetan reached out for her wrist in a lazy manner, pulling her to the settee beside him, the lack of room now that Gabrielle was sprawled along there making Beth sink down very close to him.
'No,' he said quietly. 'I was merely saving my gift to give to her later, but I do not want her thinking that I have forgotten. I will give it to her now.'
He reached into his breast pocket and took out a long, thin leather case and as everyone came intrigued to look, he withdrew a small and delicate gold watch, taking her wrist again and fastening it for her. It was exquisite, and she could only stare at it as everyone gasped in admiration.
'Do I not deserve a kiss of thanks?' Gaetan murmured, loud enough for everyone to hear, and her grey eyes met his, a soft reproach in them as she reached to kiss his cheek. His hands tightened on her wrist, his fingers softly caressing on the wildly beating pulse there, and she couldn't read what was in his eyes but for a second there seemed to be an almost blinding flash of tenderness.
It was not far to the coast after all and, as they took the Rolls-Royce, the journey seemed to be over quickly. This time, there was no suggestion that she should be at Gaetan's side, because he himself placed her firmly in the back with Alain, an arrangement that suited everyone, including Beth. She had come to terms with her situation. She loved Gaetan, wanted him, but it was never going to be possible. He had told her that in the garden, and his stiff, unbending attitude today had assured her that he meant it.
After this week, next at the latest, she would leave Paris and go home. The very word home made her more than ever unhappy. She felt that there would now never be a home for her except with Gaetan and that was not possible. The very way he was talking to Gabrielle, their conversation ranging from the business to the fashion world, to moments of light-hearted bantering, making her realise more than ever that she was not of his world and would never fit in.
The resort was small and uncrowded, with just one rather splendid hotel, and Alain told her that this place had very little to offer except very good shops. The tourists made for the brighter lights further down the coast. The mill was here, though, that supplied some of their materials and they had come to place orders for the following spring, working far ahead of time as usual.
'Are you coming to the mill with us?' Gaetan asked after lunch when Beth had gone up to her room.
'No, thank you,' she answered quietly. 'I'll only be in the way. I'll walk along the sand for a while.'
'No!' He stepped into the room and fairly bristled with hostility. 'It is not a crowded resort, in fact, to call it a resort at all is stretching the imagination. There are very deserted places here along the coastline and I do not wish you to wander alone!'
'I'm a big girl now!' Beth turned away unhappily from his annoyed face but he did not give an inch.
'You are young and beautiful and therefore always at risk!' he ground out harshly. 'I did not imagine that you would want to come to the mill, not because
you would be in the way but because you would probably be bored. There are, however, some very chic shops here, and you can buy yourself a couple of bikinis, a beach wrap and anything else that takes your fancy. I have yet to meet a woman who does not like to gaze in shop windows and spend money.'
He peeled off a roll of notes and thrust them at her but she backed off as though they were hot.
'I don't want to spend your money, Gaetan, thank you!' she said angrily.
'Mon Dieu, you are asking for trouble!' he snarled, towering over her. 'Take the money and spend it! If it worries you then I will send you a bill when you are in possession of your inheritance. I will see that it contains a detailed account of your meals in my house, your clothes and everything else that you are concerned about! Write down your debts to me and we will settle it all later!'
He thrust the money into her hands and stormed out of the room, slamming the door with an angry and disgusted action that had her eyes filling with tears, and when she went back downstairs, they had already left.
For the next few hours, she went into every shop that the place possessed, buying two bikinis with matching wrap-over skirts, a beach robe and a bag, presents for Madeleine, Louis, Madame Benoir and everyone else she could think of. She was angry and hurt, determined to spend everything. But even after a splendid lunch out, she was still in possession of a great deal of money. She had been to the church, followed a suggested tourist walk pointed out to her by the man at the bureau, and although she was tired she did not return to the hotel until almost dinner time.
Gaetan pounced on her as she entered, jumping up from the lounge where he was sitting with Alain and Gabrielle and striding over to her as soon as he saw her.
'You have been on the beach!' he accused wrathfully.
'I have not!' she snapped back. 'I have been trying to spend your money but I'm afraid it wasn't possible. I'll keep it and have another go tomorrow. Money takes a long time to disappear when you have a sackful!'
'You look tired!' he insisted with an angry growl, and she faced him with a flare of temper that lit up her clear, grey eyes, angry herself that he spent so much time in correcting her and so little time looking into her heart.
'I am tired!' she burst out. 'After being shown the depths of my ingratitude I have spent the better part of the day walking round trying to off-load this bankroll!'
'I was angry,' he confessed, his eyes intent on her flushed and beautiful face. 'I offended you and I regret it.' When she simply stared at him with wide and angry eyes he said in a placating tone, 'Come and take tea with us.'
'No, thank you!' Beth replied with tight dignity. 'I have had lunch, tea, coffee, ice-cream and chocolate. I have bought presents for people who will not want them and still I have a wad of notes! I'm going to rest and count the remaining money. Then, I'll make a list of the things that I owe you!'
'I have said that I am sorry,' he said stiffly. 'Do you wish to be called for dinner?'
'No!' she snapped, marching off. 'I'll be there!'
Her annoyance sustained her for the rest of the evening but it was no longer there when they sat on the beach the next day. Gaetan did not speak to her, and she was bitterly hurt that he spent every minute with Gabrielle. She had worn one of her bikinis, but after taking a look at Gabrielle's figure she felt thin and ungainly. Alain was all admiration, but Gaetan had hardly even glanced at her and he had stated that they would leave after lunch, about mid-afternoon.
She was glad now of Alain's company, and happy to agree when he said that he had tickets for a concert the next day in Paris.
'It is a charity show, a very dressed-up occasion,' he told her. 'If I pick you up at seven we can have dinner and then go on to the show. Would you like that?' When she agreed and showed a great deal of enthusiasm that she did not really feel, he asked quietly, 'Will you be allowed to come, though?'
'I can do exactly as I like!' Beth said flatly. 'Gaetan does not own me.' Alain looked at her deeply for a second and then smiled.
'Well, if you think it will be all right, is this a date?'
'It is!' Beth answered firmly, jumping up gladly when he suggested a walk along the beach. Anything to be beyond the range of Gabrielle's low and seductive voice. She was making the most of every minute with Gaetan, and the knife of jealousy was beginning to twist so hard inside Beth that she could scarcely bring herself to speak at all.
Alain took her hand and they splashed through the shallow water at the edge of the sea and later wandered in the rock pools that were close to the cliffs, but she hardly saw anything that he pointed out to her; her mind was given almost totally to her own misery and to Gaetan.
Alain was intent upon making her happy, she knew. It was not possible fully to hide the distress in her eyes, even though she smiled until her face was strained with the effort.
'Let's get right away from those two,' Alain suggested. 'They are beginning to get on my nerves. There is another little cove around here.'
He began to climb the shallow steps cut into the cliff face and Beth followed dejectedly, only half listening to his voice, the sound of the sea a sad and lonely music in her ears. It was therefore not until she was some way up that the reality of her position dawned on her. Once again she had wandered into danger and the familiar tightness, the familiar dizziness began to grip her as she looked down and saw that she was half-way up the cliff, rocks below her, the sea, grey and calm, a backdrop to her situation. One second more and she knew she would freeze, would sway and fall to the rocks below. They were not too far up but the drop was dangerous, and compelling to her terrified mind.
'Gaetan!' She had screamed his name before she could begin to think that Alain was closer and though she did not now see him, he reacted with a speed that left Alain standing a few feet above her as if he were frozen into immobility.
Like a tiger Gaetan took the cliff steps two at a time and before she could fall his arms were tightly round her, his voice soothing and calming in her ear as he lifted her against him.
'It's all right, all right,' he murmured coaxingly. 'Just relax, petite, and we will soon be on the sand. Come along.'
Carefully balanced, he went back down the steps, his burden clasped tightly to him, and even when he reached the soft sand he held her closely, not putting her down.
Naturally Gabrielle had followed when Gaetan had taken off at such a speed at the sound of Beth's voice and now she stood looking at them both, her face for once showing nothing but surprise. She was no more surprised than Alain.
'What happened?' He had followed them down the steps and now he stood beside them, his eyes on Beth's pale face, Gaetan's grim expression making him realise that there was something here that was not normal.
'Beth has vertigo, severely,' Gaetan said quietly, his eyes on Beth's face as he held her against his chest, waiting for her breathing to return to normal.
'Well, I had no idea!' Alain protested. 'Why on earth did she…'
'She forgets sometimes, and if she is deep in thought or—preoccupied, she tends to walk into these situations. Now that you know you can watch out for it.'
'I can see that you know,' Alain said a little bitterly. 'She never told me.'
'Of course I know!' The words were wrenched from Gaetan's tight lips. 'I expect that she would have got around to telling you eventually, although it is not something that she likes to talk about very much.'
'So, she is afraid of heights?' Gabrielle murmured, her curiosity now satisfied and her annoyance asserting itself. 'Perhaps you had better put her down then, chéri. She is still not on firm ground.'
'I'm all right, Gaetan. Thank you for rescuing me.' Beth was not so far gone as she had been the day at the tower, and her misery was rapidly overcoming her fright. This was the last thing that should have happened. Now Gaetan would be even more annoyed with her and she had given Gabrielle the chance to use her waspish tongue with no way of stopping her.
'If you are sure,' Gaetan said in a tense voice. 'I think w
e had better go back to the hotel and pack in any case. You will not feel like lingering here.'
'That is a very good idea!' Gabrielle put in, her eyes narrowed as she noticed the way his hand still moved soothingly against Beth's arm. 'Personally I find the seaside a bore. It is all right for children but not for grown-ups.'
'I'm going to stay for a while,' Beth said quietly, not wishing to be with any of them at the moment, and Alain immediately offered to stay too, but Gaetan had other ideas.
'No, you can take Gabrielle back please, Alain. Beth takes a few minutes to recover.'
'You can all go!' Beth said in a voice that was sharper than she intended. 'I feel fine. I'll join you later.'
Gabrielle had already walked off to collect her things but Alain hesitated until Gaetan moved his head in the direction of Gabrielle with a clearly determined signal that told Alain he was to leave. Being alone with Gaetan was not what Beth had intended at all, and she dismissed him too in a firm voice.
'I'm quite all right, thank you, Gaetan. You can go too. I'll see you later.'
She turned and ran to the sea, plunging into the rather chilly water, wishing that there were somewhere else to run but realising that there was nowhere at all that she could ever go to escape from him. At least she would gain a few minutes alone now, and when they were gone she could come out and hide herself for a while. She swam out further and then after a minute turned back to the sand.
Gaetan was standing watching her angrily as she tossed the wet hair from her eyes, glad of the hot sunshine. There was no sign now of Gabrielle and Alain, in fact the whole beach was empty except for the tall and glowering form of Gaetan, his arms folded across his brown chest, his legs long and strong beneath the black shorts.
'I thought you had gone,' she said in as casual a voice as she could find, walking up the beach diagonally towards the towels in order to avoid him.
'Oh, no!' he bit out in a jeering voice. 'I really would like to be here when you kill yourself! I would not miss it for the world!'
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