by Ava Zavora
Then went to lunch with Luca, my friend, colleague, and occasional driver. Lunch was a panino with salami, cheese and rocket, with a side salad (rabbit food), and some rosemary and garlic potatoes, washed down with an espresso ristretto and amaro montenegro (an alcoholic drink made from 40 herbs), something that could be enjoyed by a Californian.
Then I went to a bookshop, while I waited for a colleague to arrive, and we had a brief meeting regarding the coming week.
Now I am sat in a coffee shop, writing to you. Not very entertaining I'm afraid.
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:43 AM
To: Adam -
Do you still speak with your parents?
Sometimes you sound as if you've come to the end of your life and now just looking back. Do you think the most exciting parts are in the past?
Have you a wife? Girlfriend(s)? Children?
So you've been in trouble with the law. Details, please.
Be honest. Do you think you're smarter than 99% of the population?
When people meet you in real life, are they too charmed or afraid to take offense at your impudence?
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:47 AM
To: Eden E
I don't speak with my parents.
I haven't come to the end of my life. In the words of Sinatra; "The best is yet to come." It's more, the end of a chapter, and soon I'll embark on my next one, which will bring plenty of excitement I'm sure, though I'm not an excitable character.
I don't have a wife, or girlfriend, or children.
I haven't had a great deal of trouble with the law actually.
My impudence. When did I become impudent? Ha. People either love me or hate me. It's been this way all my life. I rarely cause offense of any kind in a first meeting.
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:55 AM
To: Adam -
I see, so you save your impudence for subsequent meetings.
You won't tell me details, so I'll imagine that you were the Artful Dodger at 15, stealing to survive on the streets.
Not excitable? I get excited by little things - such as the sun if it ever shows up this morning. I guess that's not so little, being a gigantic ball of fire.
Have you ever forgiven someone for a great wrong done to you? Or are you intractable?
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:59 AM
To: Eden E
Ha, I admire how you inform me of how I am on certain matters, rather than waiting for my clarification.
It's not that I'm withholding detail, it's simply a complex subject and hard to summarise in one sitting.
You strike me as an intelligent, methodical, feminine, romantic mess.
I have forgiven, but it is rare. Usually I don't forgive. I am not in contact with anyone who has betrayed me, and certainly none of my former flames.
What did you think of my day thus far? It seemed quite mundane to me, having written it out.
I see a growing warmth in our exchange, which is enamouring.
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:07 AM
To: Adam -
Your meal was anything but mundane. Do you often eat like that? If my breakfast seemed excessive, it's because during the workweek I usually have nuts and a banana for breakfast and a salad for lunch.
I had a big laugh over your assessment of me. Feminine. So ironic. But then we haven't met in real life. You might change your mind.
Is there anything off-limits in my questioning?
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:11 AM
To: Eden E
There is nothing off limits. And your questions can't offend me. If I feel I don't want to answer, I'll politely decline.
I don't think you are conventionally feminine. Uniquely I suspect.
I might change my mind? So, you intend on meeting me? Interesting.
Your breakfast didn't seem excessive.
I eat well, every day, yes. Though I eat breakfast once a week at most.
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:22 AM
To: Adam -
I didn't say I intended to meet you. What's interesting is you concluded that.
You're not in contact with any of your former flames? I am surmising - feel free to contradict me or politely ignore me - that when your romantic relationships end they do so in an explosion of bad feelings when one or both parties commit unforgivable acts? Or do you prefer to burn bridges once you cross them?
Can't you just tell me the name of your forthcoming book so I can read all about it in juicy detail??
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:30 AM
To: Eden E
I know you didn't say that. I was pulling your, most likely, finely formed leg.
None of them. I burn the bridges, like you said. I have been betrayed by women in the past, though when I leave a relationship, it's also about a fresh start and I don't think there is any true viability in remaining in contact with an ex, unless there are children involved. Anything else is naive and foolish, betrayal or no betrayal.
I can't tell you the name of my book, as I already said, unless we become genuine friends, who are genuinely close, with a genuine trust.
Are you seeing anyone? I don't believe I have asked.
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:42 AM
To: Adam -
Do you think men and women can be friends? Strike that. You specifically - can YOU have a true friendship with a woman without any romantic or sexual feelings affecting it?
By some of your comments, I assume that you have certain preconceptions of the kind of woman I am. Once I deduce that is the case with a man, I run the other way. Or suggest that he does so.
I'm not seeing anyone.
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:50 AM
To: Eden E
I think in general it's rare. I think for me it's rare, but it is possible, I do have the capacity for that. And you?
No, but I just have a feeling that you have smoking hot legs.
Sometimes I observe you having a growing affection for me, sometimes I wonder if you are thinking me arrogant.
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 9:56 AM
To: Adam -
Well, my mother captivated my father with her legs, so he says. This was in the 60s when most women wore miniskirts, even pious virgins like my mother. She fell in love with his eyebrows.
Men in general act as if they want to be my friend, and then later it turns out they have other motives. The only men I'm friends with are my brother and my son.
Both.
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 10:01 AM
To: Eden E
A miniskirt, not something I can imagine you wearing.
Women often say they like my hands. And my smell.
I am not arrogant my dear, I am self-aware. I am aware of my faults as well. But who openly expresses their faults?
Your messages are shortening faster than a depleting erection. Are you busy my dear? I don't want t
o interfere with your day off.
My preconception about you - is that you're honest.
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 10:16 AM
To: Adam -
Shall I say that I'm held hostage to the laptop this morning? That would make you insufferable, I suspect. I haven't even taken a shower or cleared my plate.
If my e-mails are getting shorter, it's because I'm thinking. I'm absorbing everything you've written. You're probably more adept at communicating this way, but I am not, despite having a blog and Twitter, etc. These are superficial media, easily manipulated.
When I meet a man, I read everything about him - his facial expressions, the cadence and rhythm of his voice, if he pours water into my empty glass or waits for the server to do so, what he smells like. If there is anything palpable between us.
With you - you're an amorphous creature composed of words.
You could be anyone. I really hope you're not the obnoxious attorney two doors down from me. Or an overzealous acquaintance of mine. Or an ex who is trying to prove a point.
Perhaps I made you up.
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 10:24 AM
To: Eden E
Held hostage, ha, because of me?
I had an idea, one that I'm not even certain of yet, but I'll share it, because I recently decided upon a policy I am undertaking with you. If I think it, I'll write it. If I write it, and think, hmmm, perhaps I'll alter it, I don't. This way, you get me as I am, genuinely.
Anyway, the idea is, we could both record ourselves reading an original text we've written and send it to each other. For me, it would be a poem. Thoughts?
I am not adept at communicating this way, but it is coming quite naturally.
It amuses me when you avoid my lewd references. It inspires me to make more of them.
I was once criticised by a woman for pouring water into her glass. "I'm quite capable of pouring my own water."
I am none of the above.
Are you a naked sleeper? I always wear my socks.
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 10:34 AM
To: Adam -
There are websites and 1-900 numbers if you want lewd and lascivious communications.
I'm stepping away to attend take a shower - and don't even think of making a bawdy reference to that!
I'll have to think about your offer. Maybe you should remain in the ether.
Is your real name even Adam?
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 10:39 AM
To: Eden E
My real name is Adam. Is your real name Edie E.?
The one thing you don't need to be is suspicious of me, and in turn, I hope I need not be suspicious of you. I am being frank and up front with you, even if it is to my detriment.
Do you have the full 1-900 numbers? I don't have a lot of time to search for them. If I used emoticons, in this moment I'd insert a ;)
No bawdy references, on this occasion. Bawdy, not a word the British use.
The reason I thought that idea would be of interest to us, is because I think a person's voice reflects their character and soul, respectively.
If you avoid my questions, I'll have to think of more awkward ones.
I'll drive home now, so if you reply, then mine doesn't arrive soon after, this is why.
Until soon my dear.
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 11:12 AM
To: Eden E
I'm home.
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 11:16 PM
To: Adam -
Why in the world should I be suspicious of you? I've never met you, don't know what you look like, and have no way of verifying anything you've written.
With that being said - do you have any good childhood memories? Can you describe one to me?
If we were to send each other recordings of our voices, what would yours indicate about your character and your soul?
My real name is not Edie. It's Eden.
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 11:26 PM
To: Eden E
The same goes for you, doll. I believe it's called "good faith."
I don't have a plethora of good childhood memories.
I know it's not Edie, Edie. I was trying to get a rise. I figured bastardising your name would accomplish that, darling.
I won't answer the question about my voice, though people often comment on my voice. You will hear it, should we decide to go ahead with the idea.
Are you still abandoning me today?
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 11:37 PM
To: Adam -
The sun finally came out and now I will tear myself away for good from the keyboard.
I will think about your proposition.
Don't be silly. I am at a disadvantage because you know what I look like. My cyber footprints are all over the place, which is my own fault.
You're the ghost.
Good night.
Edie
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 11:40 PM
To: Eden E
You ask me questions, I give you in depth responses, and you don't remark on them.
I'm glad, you need to get out in the sunshine.
You seem to be becoming colder, is there a reason for that?
I haven't investigated your digital footprint, though yes, I have seen your Twitter and blog pictures.
I am also thinking about my proposition.
Good night then, enjoy the rest of your day young lady.
It was with reluctance that Eden logged off her e-mail.
She had barraged Adam with questions and he had been forthright with her. She did want to know the answers, but also it was her way of deflecting, keeping him busy with his replies so that he didn't ask too many questions himself.
She could have easily spent the rest of the day corresponding with him but she was at a precipice. The growing warmth he detected was real enough. And that was the problem.
Yesterday was proof she was placing too much importance in their e-mails. He claimed not to be adept at this kind of communication, alluding that it was a new experience for him as it was with her. Yet even so, she shouldn't depend on the fact that he was paying her attention now. As in real life, men can be inconstant. Here now, gone tomorrow. Just like Troy.
