by Ava Zavora
Should I take offense when you call me mother? Should I say, "That's a huge turn off, Adam."
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:41 PM
To: Eden E
I thought that might be it.
I don't know if you should, but that's what I was expecting, Eden.
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From: Eden E
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:42 PM
To: Adam -
You make me entirely useless.
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:42 PM
To: Eden E
I don't want to be a burden.
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From: Eden E
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:43 PM
To: Adam -
You're not. I'm not used to this.
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:44 PM
To: Eden E
Neither am I, perhaps even less so than you.
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From: Eden E
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:45 PM
To: Adam -
I doubt it.
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:46 PM
To: Eden E
You are the one with the online presence. The Internet was a necessary evil for me, prior to this.
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From: Eden E
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:48 PM
To: Adam -
That's right - your famous privacy.
It's never been like this. Nowhere near.
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:49 PM
To: Eden E
You make me feel like I'm an interruption in your existence my dear.
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From: Eden E
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:50 PM
To: Adam -
I didn't mean that. I meant I've never "talked" to anyone like this online.
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:51 PM
To: Eden E
I've never spoken to a stranger online, period. Not withstanding online customer service agents.
Am I a stranger?
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:52 PM
To: Eden E
Not now, but you were.
We'll talk tomorrow. Good night.
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 6, at 3:57 PM
To: Eden E
Good night, you.
“One, two, slip, slip, three, four, roll, roll!” Sandra bellowed from ringside. “It’s easy, people. Punches, then defense. Punches, then defense."
Sandra had a tough, weathered face of a bulldog, with a thick, solid body that emanated strength even when she was stock still. She had fought in the ring for over 20 years and looked every inch of it.
Eden kept messing up, slipping when she should be jabbing, rolling when she should be slipping. She was usually very focused during boxing class but for some reason she was having trouble with simple combinations.
“Sorry,” she said to her partner, Maria, a 13-year-old girl twice her size. Maria was tall, with broad shoulders and the arms and legs of an offensive lineman. She might have been awkward everywhere else, but in the ring Maria was graceful, powerful. She was a natural at boxing. Unlike Eden, who, despite three months of classes, faltered when distracted. Like tonight.
She shook her head vigorously in between combinations, trying to shake Adam off her thoughts.
He was a vaguely-formed, impressionistic image in her mind – a man in black, with scars all over. A man who’s fought figurative and literal battles. A man who admitted to being feared. When she had asked lightly if he was fearsome to behold, he had not denied it. Was he eliding, as he correctly observed of her? Perhaps he was ugly, scary-looking.
Maybe on the outside he was fearsome, but beneath all that …
He was proud yes, with masculine swagger. From what he’s revealed and from his poems, life had not treated him kindly. A scarred man like that could be difficult to be close to. But there was a hint of tenderness there, a yearning when he wrote that she was missed, that he didn’t want to leave her for the night. That hint and the half-orphaned, impoverished boy she sensed in the man softened her. He was on the cusp of vulnerability, and one wrong word could activate his armor.
“Stop!” Sandra screeched at the class. Everyone dropped their arms to look at her. “I noticed most of you doing the same thing." Sandra stood in fighting stance, her hands up and curled into loose fists.
“When you jab with one hand,” she punched the air with her right fist, “Most of you bring your other hand down. Don’t do that. Hands up to your face. Always. When you strike,” she punched the air again, “Make sure your other hand is defending your face. Don’t leave yourself open for an easy hit."
Chapter 7
Subject: Tuesday
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From: Adam -
Date: Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 1:58 PM
To: Eden E
Today will be a turning point, when we speak.
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From: Eden E
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 2:00 PM
To: Adam -
You're making me nervous again.
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From: Adam -
Date: Tue, Aug 7, at 2:13 PM
To: Eden E
Nervous how? And why?
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From: Eden E
Date: Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 2:15 PM
To: Adam -
"Today will be a turning point, when we speak." - That's why I'm nervous.
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From: Adam -
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 2:17 PM
To: Eden E
Don't be. I just meant, it will make things calmer, and you less erratic :P
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From: Eden E
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 10:21 PM
To: Adam -
Erratic? You do realize how strange this is, right? Unless this is something you commonly do. Which is not the case for me.
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From: Adam -
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 2:24 PM
To: Eden E
I do it all the time, I have an entourage of sexy b*tches from all over the world, all online.
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From: Eden E
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 2:33 PM
To: Adam -
You certainly know what to say to calm me down. This is looking more and more like a brilliant judgment call on my part.
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From: Adam -
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 2:34 PM
To: Eden E
Sarcasm or I really calm you down?
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From: Eden E
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 2:37 PM
"I do it all the time, I have an entourage of sexy b*tches from all over the world, all online" - sarcasm or you really do have a ring of World Wide Women you've acquired through the Internet?
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From: Adam -
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 2:38 PM
To: Eden E
Sarcasm, most certainly.
Perhaps because she was so nervous about their Skype talk that night, Eden snapped at Adam. When he wasn’t trying to reassure her, he tried to distract her with talk about his day and places he had been to.
When she worried that he was going to be staying up until 2:00 a.m. his time just to talk to her, he said he would be fine and to stop "mothering" him. This touched a raw nerve in Eden. Despite everything they had in common and the ease she felt in communicating with him, she had doubts about their age difference.
From: Eden E
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 3:00 PM
To: Adam -
Why do you keep bringing up the fact that I'm a mother as if it's something I should be ashamed of? Are you trying to make me feel bad because I'm so much older than you? Should I not show concern when you're going to be losing sleep and rest because of me?
I'm not ashamed of how old I am. I've earned every one of my years.
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From: Adam -
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 3:03 PM
To: Eden E
No, no, no! You misunderstand me. I admire you very much. I was just chiding you in how you want to fuss over me, not trying to make you feel bad about your age. That's not even a concern with me.
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From: Eden E
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 3:07 PM
To: Adam -
I don't think so. You act like I should feel bad that I care about your well being.
I'm proud of being a mother. It's been part of my identity all of my adult life, and when you make fun of me for being a mother, you insult me.
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From: Adam -
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 3:09 PM
To: Eden E
That’s not it at all. I’m just not used to anyone fussing over me. No one ever has.
I admire you very much for being a single mother. You seem very strong and very warm at the same time. It's a very attractive combination.
Ask me again tonight. My answer should ease any misgivings you feel.
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From: Eden E
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 3:15 PM
To: Adam -
Oh. I’m sorry I was harsh.
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From: Adam -
Date: On Tue, Aug 7, at 3:17 PM
To: Eden E
Our wires were crossed. Bound to happen in this medium of communication. I appreciate the apology.
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From: Eden E
Date: Tue, Aug 7, at 3:30 PM
To: Adam -
Sorry - Have to finish something from this morning. 5?
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From: Adam -
Date: Tue, Aug 7, at 3:31 PM
To: Eden E
5 it is. So that's in an hour and a half yes?
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From: Eden E
Date: Tue, Aug 7, at 3:33 PM
To: Adam -
YES!
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From: Adam -
Date: Tue, Aug 7, at 3:34 PM
To: Eden E
OK!
The last hour of her work day simultaneously dragged and went too fast. Eden felt as she did when she was about to listen to Adam’s voice for the first time – unable to bear the excitement and dreading it all at once. What if it was painfully awkward? What if they had nothing to talk about? What if the electricity in their e-mails vanished when they spoke to each other in real time?
4:30 on the dot, Eden shut down her computer and was about to dash out the door, when she ran into one of the cops walking in, almost falling into his arms. It was Beau, the newbie.
"Oh, geez, I'm sorry!" Beau said, reddening.
"It's totally my fault. I'm just -" Eden said apologetically.
"Ready to get outta here, huh?"
"Yeah."
Eden looked down at this hands, which were still holding her. Embarrassed, Beau dropped them and reddened even more. In all her years at the office, Eden had never seen a cop blush. Was it because he was so young or because he hadn't been on the streets that long?
She tried not to look impatient, but Beau didn't seem to want to move. He just kept looking at her. She pointedly glanced at the door behind him. He immediately stepped aside.
"Thanks!"
"See you later, Eden."
"See you!"
Once she was out the door, Eden ran to her car. She tried not to drive home too fast, forcing herself to be calm and careful.
A man, halfway across the world, beyond the sea, waiting for her to come home. It hardly felt real.
Eden jumped out of her car and flew down the sidewalk. She fumbled with her keys at the front door – now of all times, to be clumsy and slow. Finally she got the door open. She ran up the stairs to her bedroom while digging in her purse for her iPod and earbuds. As soon as her iPod logged into her home wireless network, she turned on her Skype app. Immediately, a message came up from an “Adam” requesting to be her contact. She accepted, then her iPod started vibrating and a pleasant little jingle came on.
Her heart was thundering in her chest by this time. She pressed “Answer.”
“Hello,” she said, breathless.
“Hello,” She recognized his voice. Sensuous, intoxicating. She sat down on her bed, suddenly weak. “Late, I dare say, typical woman."
She laughed, hearing the warmth in his teasing.
“I can explain.”
She forced herself to speak slowly, knowing that when she was nervous, she spoke so fast she was almost incomprehensible.
“There was traffic.”
“Oh?”
“And stoplights. And pedestrians, lots. But I only hit one of them in my haste to get to you. An old woman. She’ll live.”
“What?"
“Just kidding." She laughed, hearing his concern. He started laughing too.
“Hey!" she said in surprise. “You laughed.”
“Yes.”
“Your voice is so deep,” she remarked shyly.
“Because of the hour."
“Thank you for staying up for me.”
“Thank you for not letting an old woman get in the way of our talk.”
She giggled at this, smiling so hard her face could break. She wondered if he was smiling too. Though they had said only a few words, she could already tell that there was no lack of electricity between them.
“My heart’s beating so fast." She said this a shade above a whisper.
He said nothing to this, not even a little joke. It struck her that despite his self-assured e-mails, he was now nervous, just as she was. This was both their first time talking on the phone to someone they've never met.
"You wrote something about the town library the other day," she said quickly, remembering one of his early e-mails. "How you were meeting with builders about it. What was that about?"
"Not the town library," he corrected. "My own personal library. For my house."
Eden's heart started beating even more wildly.
"Oh?" she croaked.
"I have thousands of books, all in storage in the UK. Once my library's built, I'll
have them shipped here. This house is such a ruin. An old mill, I think I told you, from the 1800s. I've got running water and electricity but otherwise it's uninhabitable. There's an enormous wooden water wheel in the middle of one of the walls. Gets drafty at night."
"So it needs a lot of work?"
"Yes. Renovation starts in about a month and it will probably take about a year. But I'm not in any hurry. The first thing I'd like to do is get it all sealed up before winter, though."
