by Ava Zavora
Do you have that gap between your thighs when you close your legs?
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 10:59 AM
To: Adam -
I'm shaped like a trapezoid.
No gap. Not with my undying devotion to carbohydrates.
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:00 AM
To: Eden E
Thankfully, I am turned on by trapezoids.
Good, I'm not a fan of said gap.
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:26 AM
To: Adam -
And if I had a gap? Would you still take me?
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:38 AM
To: Eden E
If you had a gap, it would it be over. Clearly.
Would I take you? In what sense? Missionary? From behind?
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:43 AM
To: Adam -
Tell me about your hands. I know they're scarred, but what are they like?
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:44 AM
To: Eden E
You avoided my lewd references.
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:46 AM
To: Adam -
Yes, I did. You're impossible.
You didn't tell me about your hands.
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:47 AM
To: Eden E
So it's OK to bite your ass but not discuss taking you?
What about my hands? They're big, and women usually say they're nice.
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:52 AM
To: Adam -
I only discuss such things with someone whom I can then immediately act on the topic. We'll talk about it, then what?
Calloused? Square or tapered and slender?
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:53 AM
To: Eden E
Then you'll hop on a plane and come and kidnap me for all sorts of kinky pleasures?
Square and calloused.
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 11:55 AM
To: Adam -
I'll get all worked up, then stuff my face with even more chocolate, not ever sleep at all, and my skin will constantly feel like it's on fire. That's what will happen.
I was just listening to your poem again. I missed you and I miss your voice in my ear.
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 3:10 PM
To: Eden E
Yes, I miss you too, and I do like your voice, very much.
Do you go home before training?
Please dispose of said poem in a day or so.
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 3:12 PM
To: Adam -
Why can't I have something of yours? I can't even have your voice.
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 3:13 PM
To: Eden E
You can, just not that.
And if you can be a little patient I'm preparing something nice for you which you should have this week.
You didn't answer my question.
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 3:13 PM
To: Adam -
Yes.
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 3:14 PM
To: Eden E
I'm glad you are enthused and excited by what I just told you.
I will leave my Skype on if you like and you could try calling me to see if I'm still awake when you come home from boxing?
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 3:15 PM
To: Adam -
I won't have time because I want to fix dinner for Dante.
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 3:16 PM
To: Eden E
Have I upset you?
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 3:25 PM
To: Adam -
I'm fine. I'll call you tomorrow.
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 4:32 PM
To: Eden E
Kindly tell me why I upset you?
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From: Eden E
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 4:38 PM
To: Adam -
All this secret stuff with you. Things you won't tell me. I guess I can't demand anything. This is just not what I'm used to. We share intimate things and yet I have nothing tangible.
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From: Adam -
Date: Wed, Aug 8, at 4:41 PM
To: Eden E
I would appreciate it if you shared any convenes you have with me, when you have them, I want us to be able to communicate or we'll get nowhere.
Remember we are at the beginning. It's logical that things will become more tangible as time progresses, and I believe that.
I'll come on chat for a minute before I sleep then.
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From: Adam -
Date: August 8
Subject: Chat with Adam -
To: Eden E.
Adam: Hello, my hairy, trapezoidal goddess
Eden: Hello
Adam: We have to communicate, OK? It's our only salvation
Adam: Equally, if I have any concerns I'll share them with you immediately
Adam: But tangibility will come, gradually, the more time we have together
Adam: Are you there?
Eden: Yes, sorry, there was an attorney standing over my shoulder.
Adam: OK... so are we on the same page?
Adam: When you say attorney it's always strange for me.
Adam: We British folk only ever hear that word in movies
Eden: I am communicating. I was going to tell you when I got home.
Eden: Barrister?
Adam: It just seems unkind when I know something is wrong to be kept in the dark.
Adam: I wouldn't do that to you
Adam: Sometimes I just want to squeeze your nose and smack your derrière
Eden: Smack it then bite it? Or vice versa?
Adam: At the same time
Adam: Temperature has dropped again, brrrrr
Eden: I wish I could burrow next to you.
Adam: That'd be nice.
Adam: A weird fact about Adam-
Eden: He likes to refer to himself in the 3rd person?
Adam: Haha, no.
Adam: After sex, my next gr
eatest physical pleasure is having my feet tickled and scratched
Eden: Just your feet?
Adam: And there is some method behind this madness.
Adam: Because I like it so much, I researched it.
Adam: People with extremely good circulation enjoy it most.
Adam: When you tickle the feet, the blood rushes to the surface.
Adam: When you scratch them, it disperses the blood evenly.
Adam: I hope that's not a deal breaker.
Eden: What size feet do you have?
Adam: UK size 12, or were you indirectly asking the size of my manhood?
Eden: Not everything is about your wanker.
Adam: My wanker??
Eden: Isn't that what it's called?
Adam: In English, we say wank, as a verb to wank.
Adam: You can insult someone by calling them a wanker.
Adam: But the penis itself is not a wanker
Eden: Oh, I didn't mean to insult you.
Adam: That is cute and funny. You didn't.
Eden: I think I must have heard it in a movie and thought that's what it meant.
Adam: Not everything is about my penis? My whole world has just come crashing down on me.
Adam: I will teach you many things
Adam: Including how to spell
Adam: COLOUR
Adam: FAVOUR
Adam: And buoy is pronounced boy not boo-E, which always cracks me up
Eden: I don't need spelling lessons from you.
Adam: I know you don't, I'm playing. Defensive little monkey
Eden: If your feet don't smell then I'll tickle them personally.
Eden: Otherwise, I'll use a feather or something.
Adam: They don't smell
Adam: Thank you.
Adam: And scratch them. You can't forget that
Eden: Yes, that too. You drive a hard bargain.
Adam: I do
Eden: Alright, I'm mollified.
Adam: Happy to have been of assistance
Adam: I got an electric shock today and when I moved my hand away I cut it
Eden: How? Did you put anything on it like antiseptic?
Adam: My hand jolted into a metal edged table. Just a plaster (band aid)
Eden: Plaster = band aid. Wanker = not penis. Got it.
Adam: Haha, yes. Fast learner
Adam: I dislike fellatio.
Eden: Well I wasn't offering. Deal is off the table.
Eden: You're completely outrageous.
Adam: Haha, I know
Adam: It came to my head, and as per the Adam-Edie Resolution we say what we think
Eden: Well the treaty might need to be modified and overhauled at some point for the lewdness contingency.
Eden: With appropriate fines and injunctions for violations.
Adam: Ha, perhaps it will, we'll have to see
Adam: And both parties have to ratify the treaty
Eden: I'll call my barrister and he'll give your barrister a ring then.
Adam: Sounds good. It'll be good to have in writing that I can be as dirty and smutty as I like
Eden: Not according to the amendments.
Adam: Haha, Dominatrix
Eden: Well, do I get my good night?
Adam: I like this subliminal take on sending me to bed :)
Adam: OK have a good night. I hope your journey home isn't too taxing. Good night
Eden: Aren't you going to say it?
Adam: https://imtransfer.shapeservices.net/uploads/91378414/VoiceMessage.mp3
Eden: Thank you. It's like pulling teeth. I hope you get lots of restful sleep.
Adam: Ha, thank you, be good X
Chapter 9
Subject: Thursday
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From: Adam -
Date: Thu, Aug 9, at 4:16 AM
To: Eden E
Morning Edie,
How are you today? Extra hot here and I'm wearing a coat.
I normally keep a surplus supply of cigarettes but I'm running out so I'm going to them tobacconist in a minute to stock up. I like to keep 3-5000 in the house at a time.
My favourite breakfast, on the rare occasion that I eat breakfast, is eggs Benedict. I usually stick to the caffeine nicotine cuisine.
Any plans this evening or do we have a night of debauchery and phone sex ahead?
Try and be productive at work my dear, the amount you earn directly correlates to the quality of your underwear and I am keenly interested in this matter.
Ciao, ciao
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From: Eden E
Date: Thu, Aug 9, at 8:42 AM
To: Adam -
Good afternoon, dear Adam
I had great sleep last night so I'm wide awake and razor-sharp. Watch out!
Why are you wearing a coat when it's so hot?
It's going to be 93 degrees here today and all the shady parking spots were taken by the time I got to work.
5000 cigarettes. Do you smoke a pack a day? Two packs?
That usual breakfast of yours sounds wretched. I love eggs Benedict with plenty of extra hollandaise sauce on the side. I make mine with thick slices of bacon, sourdough bread, and some wilted spinach. Is an English muffin really English?
I do have plans for a night of debauchery and phone sex. But I can cancel those arrangements and talk to you instead.
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From: Adam -
Date: Thu, Aug 9, at 8:55 AM
To: Eden E
I'm watching out.
I'm sat in the garden listening to opera and drinking coffee in the sunshine, wearing a three-piece suit. Don't ask. I have a habit of always taking some kind of overcoat with me.
You are late writing to me today. Have I been demoted in priority?
Shady parking spots, oh what you Americans concern yourselves with. What do you drive? An electric car? :P
On average I smoke a pack a day. If I am drinking heavily, than can easily double, but the average is a pack.
I presume the English muffin is really English. It's very common in the UK, but that doesn't really mean anything. I make mine with ham.
Wilted spinach? Of course you do. So yours is Eggs Florentine Benedict.
No, no, don't talk to me instead. Your evening sounds much more enthralling. Who is the lucky victim?
I bought 12 bottles of Moretti beer, but the shop was sold out of Amaro Montenegro.
Underwear colour. Discuss.
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From: Eden E
Date: Thu, Aug 9, at 9:14 AM
To: Adam -
Did you make that whole scene up or are you just being eccentric?
I was a few minutes late to work because I was cooking. Then I had to take care of some work-related things (shocking, I know - me doing work ... at work!)
Have you ever considered quitting cigarettes?
I drive an old beetle.
Are there occasions that warrant you drinking heavily? What are you like when you're drunk?
Yours? I presume black.
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From: Adam -
Date: Thu, Aug 9, at 9:19 AM
To: Eden E
Please don't insult me darling. I don't “make things up.” The suit is because I'm expecting an important visitor. The coffee in the sun, well, obvious, and the opera, iTunes decision, not mine.
Work at work? Are you feeling OK? Are you bleeding? ;)
Why would I? I like to smoke.
An old VW beetle? Jesus, it gets better. Do you own any cardigans?
