Libby didn’t look consoled. “Maybe I’m being foolish. Maybe he doesn’t want to come home. Maybe he is dead. I don’t know what to think.” She started crying in earnest. “Noah, don’t you want your brother to come home?”
Noah was flabbergasted at Libby’s question. “Of course I do. I’d give my right arm to have Aron back.” His sister-in-law’s grief and doubt was killing him.
“Libby, let’s go get something to drink. You’re getting upset and that can’t be good for those babies.” Joseph led Libby out.
Isaac met Noah’s eyes. “What are we going to do with her? This is killing her.” Noah started to reply when Isaac just knocked him for a loop. “Maybe you ought to give Libby a little space. She’s too hurt and afraid to deal with much right now. We’re going to have to be very careful to isolate her from anything that would distress her. If we don’t she’s going to get sick or jeopardize the health of the babies.”
Noah didn’t know what to say. How could he avoid Libby and still live in the same house? But he didn’t say anything to contradict Isaac. “I’ll do my best.”
***
The attic was dusty and Noah was easily distracted. He found a pellet gun he hadn’t seen in years and Nathan’s stick horse. His father’s favorite hat sat on an old dresser which looked like it came to Texas by wagon train and there was a rocking chair he could remember his mother sitting in and singing him to sleep. Nostalgia almost overcame him when he found Aron’s saddle he won at a Houston Livestock Rodeo. Why was this here? It needed to be on display in the man-cave in a prime position. After searching for a few minutes, he found the boxes Jacob referred to. There were three of them. He began to dig in one and what he found made him smile. Lord, he needed to smile—he was so confused about the deal with Libby and Isaac’s request.
There was an album of pictures from their childhood. Joseph without teeth made him laugh. If the women could see The Stallion toothless they might not all be so entranced with him. “Badass even then,” he whispered as he ran a finger over a photo of Isaac riding a tricycle. A pang of grief almost took his breath away when he found a photograph of them all around the Christmas tree. Nathan was still in diapers and he himself was—good Lord—in short pants with a bow tie! He looked like a miniature Bill Nye the Science Guy! Aron was already good size with broad shoulders and a stoic smile. Jacob was holding a cat, one of Timmy’s ancestors and Joseph was twirling a rope over his head. Their mother and father were arm in arm, looking at their tribe with indulgence. Noah couldn’t help but wonder who took the picture.
Digging deeper he found several ledgers and various legal documents. A small book caught his eye. He picked it up. “Mom’s diary,” he murmured. This he couldn’t resist. He settled on an old ottoman and began to read. Each entry was dated. It was almost like going back in time….
Landsakes! I don’t know what I’m going to do with these boys. Aron fell off the porch today and cut his head wide open. I screamed and screamed. Sebastian came running and scooped him up. We washed off the blood. Aron never shed a tear, but I cried buckets.
Jacob started school today. I’m going to miss him so much. My babies are growing up! I know I still have the others at home, but I’m going to miss Jacob. Joseph won’t keep his diaper on, every time I change him, he runs off and flings it across the room. I found a diaper in the umbrella stand next to the front door. Isaac cut a tooth. You’d think he was dying! His father is afraid Isaac is gonna grow up to be a sissy. I said give him time.
Noah laughed so hard he had to hold his belly.
I decided to make Christmas cookies yesterday and to let the boys help. What a mistake! I turned my back and they decided to have a food fight!
Aron fell off the windmill today and broke his collarbone. I don’t know if I can handle all of these hellions. And Noah! I don’t know what to do about Noah.
Noah started turning back. He wanted to read everything about himself. Flipping back to the dates just before he was born, he started looking. And looking. Then he went completely still.
There was nothing about him at all—he backed up. No mention of his mom being pregnant, not like with the others. In fact, there were almost two months of blank dates with no entry whatsoever. And then a very strange entry.
Noah lives with us now. I love him already. I promised myself that I will never make a difference between him and any of the boys I gave birth too. None of this is his fault.
Noah’s gut clenched. The silence in the room weighed a ton. Then, the meaning of the words hit him square in the heart and his world collapsed around him.
Laying the diary down, Noah got up and walked out.
***
“I understand why you want to go, but I want you to be careful,” Lance warned.
“I will, I have my knife.” His concern reminded her of the threats Arthur had made. Surely he wouldn’t try and harm her. He was probably just a blow-hard. After she’d been awarded a new trial, the evidence against his brother had been overwhelming. Justice had been served. Skye put the thought out of her mind. It was time she started to live and this was the first step.
“I’ve called Barry Felts and he’s going to have his cabin unlocked for you. His horses are there and the sauna aka sweat lodge is ready to use.”
“This is sounding more like a vacation. My vision quest is supposed to be a spiritual journey.” She almost giggled at her brother’s level of concern. Skye wouldn’t be surprised if he’d packed her lunch.
“And I’ve put together some snacks for you. I know you don’t take care of yourself. There’s some soup for tonight, it’s supposed to be cold. And I’ve packed some of Libby’s brownies.”
“Oh my Lord, will you stop?” She hugged Lance hard. The events of the past two days were catching up with her. She was almost near tears most of the time. Happy tears. Noah’s loving attention had rocked her world. Since getting out, Skye had avoided male contact and while in Eddie Warrior there’d been no men with the exception of a couple of male guards who she’d avoided like the plague—most of the time. She’d blanked out several memories. If it hadn’t been for Rexine, she would’ve been raped more than once. Not many even had a clue of the hell that went on in women’s prisons. That realization had spawned one of her goals for the future. During the next four days, Skye had to make up her mind whether to pursue a career as a social worker and help fight for women’s rights or try her hand at designing clothes.
“I worry about you.” Her brother was such a big teddy bear. “When are you going to settle down and make me an aunt? I want to have children to spoil or at least nieces and nephews.”
Lance went quiet. She didn’t know if it was because he had no prospects on the horizon or if he was feeling sorry for her again. Either way, she sought the right words to say. “You’ll find the perfect woman, soon. I just know it. And I can always adopt.” Adoption wasn’t likely since she had no intention of marrying, but she wasn’t writing anything off at this early date.
They walked out together toward the old beat up pick-up Skye drove. Lance had helped her find it the week after she’d been set free. “Do you have plenty of gas?”
“Yes, Dad,” she answered good-naturedly.
About that time there was a squealing of wheels, and a truck came barreling into the yard throwing gravel. Noah.
Lance smiled. “I’ll give you two some privacy. Apparently Romeo wants to kiss you goodbye.”
“Hush.” She waved at Lance as he climbed into his truck.
Noah wasn’t smiling.
“Hey,” she greeted him, standing near her truck door.
“I want to go with you. I’ve got to get out of here.”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen with Jacob?”
“No. I visited them this morning. Nothing’s wrong.” His world had just hit an iceberg, but he could
n’t even begin to formulate thoughts, yet—much less words.
“Well, I had planned on going alone…” Skye was methodical. She had this all planned out. It wasn’t a ritualistic Vision Quest, but to her it was important.
“Look, I won’t get in your way. I just need a change of scenery.” His words were nonchalant, but his eyes were beseeching.
Something was wrong. She didn’t know what, but it didn’t really matter. Skye made up her mind. “Of course. You’ll need clothes and a few supplies.”
“We’ll get what I need on the road. Let’s go in my truck. I’ll drive.”
She could see there was no use arguing. He was in a mood. “Fine.”
They drove for over an hour in silence. Skye had never seen Noah like this. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” How can I tell you I don’t know who I am?
Another half hour of silence.
“There’s a sporting goods store up ahead. Do you want to stop there?”
“That’ll do.” Who am I? Do I even want to know?
Skye sighed. This looked to be a very long four days.
CHAPTER FOUR
“Sorry about the accommodations.” Skye placed her backpack on the rug by the bed, the small bed. “It’s not really full size, is it?”
“It looks like we’ll have to sleep pretty close to each other.” Noah gave her a sly grin which didn’t quite make it to his eyes.
She was glad to see him in somewhat of a better humor. “Doesn’t sound like much of a hardship to me.” Throwing him a smile over her shoulder she went to the kitchen to check the supplies Barry had brought over for her. Now, they would have to be stretched to serve two, but Skye was a pretty imaginative cook. She wasn’t worried. “Do fajitas sound good for supper? We can add that to the soup Lance sent with me.”
“Damn good.” Noah leaned against the kitchen door jamb and watched her pilfer through the cabinets. He was still thrown for a loop. The question of his identity loomed large in his mind, but the idea he wasn’t a McCoy didn’t seem real. On the drive over he’d decided to handle the impossible mystery like he would any problem he faced. He’d analyze the known facts, do some research, then work for the best possible outcome. Oh, he was going give it some thought, but for the immediate future he wanted to concentrate on Skye. She’d keep him sane.
“I’ll put out some meat to thaw and we’ll go for a walk, if that’s okay with you.” Maybe being with Noah would help her put some things in perspective. Since the day her father had been killed, Skye’s life had changed. Her dreams had changed. She’d lost a big part of her childhood. The years from sixteen to twenty-two were usually when a girl graduated high school, went to college, matured and maybe married. None of that had happened to her. Now was the time for her to decide what the rest of her life would hold. She had to come to terms with who she was—a Native American woman who had known hardship and injustice. More than that, Skye needed to weigh her own value as a person, make peace with her past and friends with her future.
He could tell she was mulling something over in her mind because her lips were moving. “Do you always talk to yourself?”
Skye stopped and whirled to face him. “I was talking out loud?” For months she had fought to conquer that habit. After spending so much time in solitary confinement, talking to herself had kept her from going around the bend.
“Not loud, but you were mumbling.”
Skye blushed. “I guess I just get hungry to hear a smart person talk.” Her smart-ass comeback was a total defense mechanism and she knew it.
“Oh, really?” He chuckled. “You know you constantly surprise me. I can’t ever predict what you’re going to say or do. I think we need to use this time to get to know one another better.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. Then she winked at him. “I think I’d like that. Let’s go.” She led him out of the cabin and they began to walk. A few hundred yards down the trail they found themselves in fairly rough terrain, surrounded by granite rocks and boulders. The ground seemed dry and the only greenery was prickly pear cactus, yucca and cedar scrub.
“Do you know where we’re going?”
“Yes, I do.” Skye looked over at him and when she did, she turned her ankle on a rock and lost her balance.
Making a grab for her, Noah caught her and pulled her up under his arm. “Fortuitous move, Princess. I was trying to think of a clever move so I could hold your hand.”
“It was all planned. I’m sneaky.” She wove their fingers together. “There’s supposed to be a really nice tubing creek down here.”
“You do realize how cold it is?”
“Relax, you’re big enough that shrinkage won’t matter!” With that retort, he grabbed her and she took off running. Noah chased her. She ended up on the banks of a fast moving stream. The water bounced and bubbled over a rocky bed. Fast moving minnows darted in the stiller pools closer to shore. “You’ve got be kidding. It’s only in the sixties, that water will be icy.”
Noah was still suffering and Skye giggled. Hopping up on a boulder which was about shoulder height to her, she invited him up. “Come sit with me. We’ll bask in the sunlight.”
He stood by the rock and watched her lean back, lifting her face to the sun. She closed her eyes and let the wind waft through her hair. It blew it back like a model standing in front of a fan. She was truly centerfold material. “I’m so glad I’m with you today.” He took two steps up and joined her, propping up on an elbow.
“Me too. Just feel the peace here, Noah. We can let go of all of our problems and just be.”
Noah did as she asked, but he just couldn’t let go of his doubts. “Skye, let me ask you something.” He watched her face and when she turned and gave him her full attention, he asked a question weighing heavy on his heart. “What is it about me that attracts a beautiful woman like you? Is it my looks? Is it my body? Is it my name?”
“What?” Skye gasped a small laugh, trying to gauge whether or not he was serious. “Surely, you’re kidding.”
“No.” He was dead serious. “I’ve never had problems getting a date.” She gave her version of a feminine little snort. “But, I’ve often wondered if it was because they like me for me, or if it’s because I’m a McCoy or Joseph’s brother or something like that.”
Skye moved a few inches closer and placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. “I don’t know how you could even question your appeal. You are totally hot, sexy, and handsome. But more than that, you’re caring and kind. No one could ever doubt your intelligence. Noah McCoy, you’re the total perfect package.” A cloud came over his face, but when she placed a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth, he clasped her head and drank from her lips as if he was seeking to quench his thirst.
Placing one more sweet kiss on his mouth, she eased back. “Now, let me ask you one. “What do you see when you look at me? Am I just another girl? I mean, am I less because of the color of my skin?”
“What in hell are you talking about?”
“Do you see me as less than a person? Not as valuable as I would be if I were another race?” What she was asking wasn’t politically correct, but born out of experience. Most people like to think prejudice doesn’t exist, but she had lived it.
Noah sat straight up. “I’ll tell you exactly what I see when I look at you. You’re a sweet, gorgeous girl who happens to be a damn, hot, exotic babe.”
Skye had to smile. She sat cross legged on the rock and played with the seam of her jeans. “When I was very young, we lived around my dad’s people and things were good. I didn’t really notice that I was different. Lance was with me until I was five and he always made me feel safe and loved. But after my mom died and Dad and I moved to another city where he cou
ld work the oil fields, I found out that not everybody felt like I belonged or that I should be treated the same.”
Noah felt funny, disturbed. “Were people mean to you?” He couldn’t imagine it. Skye Blue was fragile, gentle, sweet and totally feminine. She should be protected, not abused.
“Sometimes,” she admitted. “Did you know that one out of every three Native American women are raped? And if the rape occurs on Indian land and the rapist is white, he is very rarely ever persecuted?”
“Why?” This didn’t make sense.
She went on to explain how something like this could happen. “In Oklahoma, Indian land is like a patchwork quilt. One side of the street might be tribal land and the other side may not be. The tribal police force can only arrest a perpetrator if he is native, if he is a non-native the policeman has to send a report to the attorney general and the report is rarely ever followed up on.”
“Were you ever assaulted?” Noah asked the question, his hands clenched into a fist.
For a long time, Skye didn’t answer. She opened her mouth, then bit her lip. “This is hard. I’ve never really talked about it. Lance doesn’t even know.” She glanced at Noah. “And I don’t want him to know. It happened a long time ago.”
“You were hit, assaulted, raped, what?” His voice was gritty with anger.
“Yes to all of the above. I was fifteen.” She hung her head, wondering how he would react. “Two men pulled up beside me while I was walking home from a ball game. They grabbed me, threw me in the back seat of the car, raped me and then left me lying in the ditch. It was a couple of hours before I was able to get up and walk home. I was hurt and humiliated.”
“What happened? Were they arrested?” Noah’s voice was hoarse and low.
“No, but I told my father and he taught me how to defend myself.”
She halfway expected him to walk off or mumble an apology, but she was shocked when Noah pulled her over into his lap. “I’m so sorry. Hearing this makes me fuckin’ damn furious! I want to know their names. I want to track them down. When I get through with them, they’ll never attack another woman again.” He held her tightly, kissing the side of her face and her neck. “You’re so amazing. So brave.”
Skye Blue (Hell Yeah!) Page 8
