by Tim Marquitz
“ Hhhhiiiiyyyaaaaa.” Chatterbox’s rotten face grinned at me.
Another shiver rattled me as I settled my heart. I’m a freak and all, but there’s just something really gross about having a hard on in the presence of a severed zombie head.
“Hey, CB. I missed ya, buddy, but not that much.” He chuckled and mentioned something about missing me, too, and porn. “She kept you on a tight leash, huh?” I snatched him up and set him the table next to my old recliner, and watched for a second as he tongued the remote to turn the TV on. While I was glad to have him back, I really wanted some time alone with Karra. He wasn’t the kind of head I was looking for.
The zombie distracted, I scooped up Karra and ran for the bedroom. She giggled like the young girl I remembered from Hell, and all was right with the world.
~
The sex more a sprint than a marathon, we lay in the bed under the cool sheet, our bodies entwined. Her fingers made little circles across my chest, tickling me as I caught my breath and luxuriated in the closeness of her. It struck me just how much I’d missed Karra, and not just since I’d left to meet Hasstor. I’d missed her since she left me behind in Hell. For all my relationships, to include my marriage to Veronica, this was the only one that made sense. Karra was who I was always meant to be with, however sappy or cliched that might sound. There was a comfort to it, a passion borne of a first love that hadn’t been tempered by time or strife.
She snuggled in closer and I melted into her embrace. The smell of her perfume and the scent of our sex filled my nose.
“I was worried,” she told me, her voice muffled by her face pressed into my neck.
I had been too, but with more than enough bad news, I decided it best to not mention it. “All I could think of was getting back to you.”
Karra leaned over and kissed my cheek, turning my face to hers. Her hazel eyes pierced mine. “What happened out there?”
I sighed. For all my desire to make the moment last, it was coming to an end. “You really want to know?”
She nodded. There’d be no seconds for me after this. I copped one last feel and rolled over so we were facing one another.
“It was all a setup so Lucifer could deliver a message without everyone knowing.”
Karra stiffened at the mention of my uncle’s name, and I silently cursed him for what he’d done to her and her father…and to us. Though she didn’t say anything, I could see the fury in her eyes. It took her a moment to calm down. When she finally reined it in, she let out a quiet sigh.
“What does he want?” Her tone ended any fear of global warming.
“To warn me.”
She sat up in the bed, the sheet falling away. Unconsciously, my gaze was drawn to her breasts. I yanked it away like an errant puppy and forced myself to look at her face. Beautiful as it was, it wasn’t boobs.
“A warning about what? What could possibly concern him so much he would kidnap you from a world he tossed aside and left behind?”
“Uh, how about an inter-dimensional war he and God are fighting against a bunch of the other universes El Jefe Grande created long before he made ours, and that they’re afraid might spill over into our world?” I spilled it out in one long exhalation.
Karra stared at me in silence. The look on her face told me she was waiting for the punch line. She was gonna be so disappointed.
“You’re serious?”
“As a rectal exam.”
Her shoulders slumped and she dropped back down beside me. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her in close.
“It’s not a foregone conclusion the war will reach us, but Lucifer wanted someone to know…just in case.”
“So he chose you?” A hint of laughter colored her voice.
“Hey, now. What I lack in power and skill and knowledge and ability and interest, I make up for in powerful friends and lots of free time.” She hugged me close, burying her chuckling face in my ribs. “But yeah, I’m not really sure why he told me either. With DRAC and Heaven in shambles, and the demons of Hell scattered all over the planet, I don’t have a clue as to who I’m gonna muster in defense of the Earth.”
Karra grinned and gave me a kiss. “I’ll fight with you.”
I kissed her back, tangling my fingers in her hair. When we broke away to take a breath, I couldn’t help but smile at her. “Us against the universe. What a poetic way to die.” Bitterness seeped into my voice.
She sat up again, the grin gone from her face. “That bad?”
I shrugged. “You felt Xyx’s power, right?” Karra nodded. “Well, it looks like he’s the runt of the litter. The demon I met with, Hasstor, was easily as powerful as the old Baalth, and then some.”
“Is that why you have dread fiends hidden around your house like rotten Easter eggs?”
“Hardly.” I started to hold back again but it felt natural just to tell her the truth. “They’re here due to a more mundane threat that popped up after I came back to Earth. As it turns out, the U.S. government thinks I’m the cause of the storms. They made it clear they’ve got their eye on me when they shot me in the head.”
Her face flushed red, in an instant, her eyes narrowing. “They did what?”
I reached out and grabbed her wrist, her hand clenched in a fist. “I’m okay. They were making a point. While I didn’t appreciate it, they’re the least of my concerns right now.”
“They shot you! How can that be the least of your problems?”
“It’s been a hectic day.” I soothed her fist open so I could hold her hand. She grasped mine tight, fury still evident in her grip. “The government guys, the DSI, dumped me downtown. Before I could call you, some jackass attacked me with a specter. You might have seen the results of that on the news.”
She nodded, wrapping her other hand around mine. “That was you? Did you kill him?”
I shook my head. “He-she-it got away, and I don’t have a clue as to who was behind the spirit. I picked up a trace of power, but it disappeared before I could sort anything out. It didn’t seem random, so at first I thought it might be the DSI folks flexing their muscles to keep me on my toes, but I just don’t know. It doesn’t make sense for them to attack me out in the open just after they had me locked up and shut down. That’s why I have the dread fiends scattered about, just in case this turns out to be more than the government trying to gauge my abilities. They’ll attack anyone I haven’t put on the do not kill list.”
“What now?”
“Well, I only had two thoughts on my way home.” I sat up and grabbed handfuls of Karra’s breasts. “We took care of the first thing, so that only leaves the second, unless you want to revisit the first. I suppose I could make time for that.”
She laughed and batted my hands away. “What’s the second?”
Doing my best to keep the disappointment from my voice, I told her. “I was thinking of going to Hell.” She raised her eyebrows. “Back when I was checking into Asmoday’s murder, I stumbled across a containment case. It looked like it had been built to keep something-someone-powerful inside. Whatever was in there had broken out before I found it, but the case itself was covered in a fancy magical script. It was some kind of warding, way too complicated and strange for me to have any clue what it meant.”
I hopped up and waved for Karra to go with me as I left the bedroom. In the kitchen, I pulled the tome from the fridge and tossed it onto the counter. The overloud sounds of grunting and bad dialogue drifted from the living room, bringing a smile to my face. Karra came up alongside me to examine the book. I knew Lucifer probably didn’t want me showing it to anyone, seeing how he wanted it hidden in the God-proof room, but I didn’t want to keep it from Karra.
“Lucifer’s messenger gave this to me.” I opened the book and flipped through a few of its pages, showing her the flowing script that filled them. “It’s the same language that I saw on the case, and it’s somewhat close to the symbols Hasstor had imprinted across his skin. That gives me a pretty good idea that what wa
s in the case came from out there.” I waved my hand toward the ceiling.
“Angels?”
I shook my head. “Aliens, more like.”
Karra stared at me a moment before returning her attention to the book. She flipped through the pages with wide eyes, her breathing shallow-not that I was looking at her chest, or anything.
“Can I see the case?” she asked.
I didn’t see why not. “Sure, I’m going there anyway. Hasstor didn’t tell me shit about the book or why he was giving it to me. He just said Lucifer wanted me to hide it. Maybe we can find something out.”
Her smile coming back to light up her face, Karra hugged me, and then ran off to the bedroom to get dressed. I watched her until she disappeared from sight, and then looked back at Chatterbox. His ugly mug wiped the leer from my face, but I had to admit it was good to have him home.
“Nice seeing you, CB.”
He chittered and gave me a toothy grin. “ Ppoooorrrrrrnn.” He spared me about a half-second of his time before turning back to the TV.
It’s good to see a man of dedication. “Watch the house, and play nice with our stinky guests while we’re gone. We’ll be back in a while.”
Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to Hell I go.
Chapter Seven
Through the portal that led to my uncle’s quarters, Karra and I were in Hell just a short while after we were dressed. She was excited to go, the tome and case intriguing her and driving her into a frenzy of curious energy. While I was interested, too, it was more of a how will this save my ass? kind of adventure. Unless the book was the Kama Sutra of the Otherverse, and I didn’t think it was-there weren’t any pictures-it was like lugging around an old textbook. Sure, that kind of thing was useful when you needed to pass a test, but it sat in the closet collecting dust, otherwise.
“Why are you so riled up?” I asked.
She grinned as we wound our way through Lucifer’s chambers. “The idea of something beyond our existence fascinates me. It’s what drew me to necromancy-among other things.” Karra’s smile flickered for an instant, likely remembering her quest to reanimate her father, Longinus-the Anti-Christ-and the cause of his death: my uncle, whose chambers we were now roaming. A second later the smile was back. “I’d love to see what else God deigned to create.”
“Preferably dead and under a microscope.” The very last thing I wanted was an army of Hasstor-like beings invading Earth and giving her a firsthand glimpse of alien life. I shivered as I recalled Hasstor’s squirmy appendage. It gave the term violation a whole new meaning.
As we passed the corridor that led to the God-proof room, I waved Karra on ahead. “I need to stash this somewhere, and it’s probably safest if you don’t know where it is. I can pull it out later for a closer look.”
“You’re still talking about the book, right?”
“Mostly.”
She laughed and shooed me off. “I’ll be down the hall.”
Once she was, I made my way to the only room in existence-as far as I knew-that no one, to include God, could see or send their senses into from the outside. A gift to Lucifer from God himself, it was the supernatural equivalent to a super powered safe room. Once inside, I found a good spot to hide the tome and made my way back to Karra. She stood at the entrance to the room where Asmoday had been murdered. I had the dread fiends open the place back up afterward, seeing no point in keeping it sealed since it wasn’t being used as a prison cell.
“You feel better now that you’ve done your manly duty and protected me from the mean old book?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, and please stop impugning what little bit of my manhood I have left.”
She laughed and followed me inside as I pretended to pout. She was only joking, seeing how she was the more powerful of us, but she was right on the truth. I was trying to protect her. Lucifer hadn’t passed on anything about the book or what its significance was. Who knew what it was meant for or who would be scrambling to get their hands on it? I sure didn’t, but it didn’t take a genius to realize he wouldn’t have me stashing it in the God-proof room if he wanted it to be found. That was a pretty good indication someone would have cause to look for it. There was no way I wanted Karra in the middle of any more of Lucifer’s bullshit.
She glanced around the room and raised her hands after peeking into the side chamber. “Where’s it at?”
I went over to the bed and patted the mattress.
“Really? Do you think I’m that easy?”
“A guy can only hope.” I grinned and tossed the bed aside, revealing the hole that had been dug beneath it. “Follow me.” I hopped down inside, and Karra dropped beside me a moment later.
As we made our way through the tunnel, which led to the case chamber, I could hear Karra snorting behind me. “If this is your idea of a good time, I’m going to have to reassess our relationship, buddy.”
The stench of dread fiends was in the air. The room before the chamber was filled with thousands of them, all awaiting orders. It made for a horrific cloud of funk, but you couldn’t find a better guard dog to protect your valuables. They didn’t chew up your furniture or shit on the rug…unless you’re into that kind of stuff.
“Once we’re through the next chamber, the stink will taper off.” I heard her laugh and mumble something under her breath. I could only assume it was a joke about men and their penchant for fun smells.
Inside the massive fiend room, I waved the creatures aside and they parted like a brown and stinky Red Sea. Moses would be so jealous. Once they were out of the way, I headed for the room that contained the case. As soon as we walked inside, flares sprung to life along the walls, illuminating the room with magical light. Karra gasped. Fortunately I’d been right about the smell dying down.
The walls had been carved into the shape of a pentagram, sharp corners jutting inward and then back out, giving the chamber a very claustrophobic feeling. It made you want to get to the middle quickly to avoid being impaled on the walls.
In the center sat the case, shards of warded glass still on the ground. I hadn’t instructed the fiends to clean that up, because there was no telling what kind of latent magic might still be embedded into the glass. It was better to leave it alone rather than risk unleashing something.
The hole in the wall, where the case’s guest had tunneled its way out, was something more mundane. The fiends had filled that, and I’d posted a couple dozen of them on the other side, just in case the thing wanted to come back. It worried me the dread fiends hadn’t ripped the guy-for lack of a better word-apart when he killed Asmoday. I hoped he’d just avoided the creatures somehow and didn’t have the means to make them obey him. It had been a surprise to learn they would listen to me, so there was no telling who else they took orders from. I wasn’t completely happy with the illusion of safety, but it’d have to do.
Karra went to the case and examined it. I watched her as she did, her eyes growing wider at every turn. Smartly, she avoided the pile of broken glass as she circled.
“This is amazing. The script is so fluid, so perfect. Whatever was in here must be unbelievably powerful to have escaped.”
Yeah, that’s what I wanted to hear. “You understand any of the gibberish.”
She shook her head. “Only that it was used to lock something inside, but you already knew that.” She ran her hand along one of the intact panes. “It’s two problems in one. I’ve no clue what language it’s written in, so not knowing that screws me out of understanding the manner in which the spell is being applied.”
“So, it’s still a mystery,” I mumbled. “Maybe Lucifer has some information stashed somewhere that sheds a little light on his ex-trophy.” A bit frustrated, I headed toward the fiend room. Karra followed me after a moment, clearly reluctant to leave the case.
Once we were back in my uncle’s private chambers, we split off and headed to different sides. I’d been in here a bunch of times recently, but I’d never really torn the place apart looking for anythi
ng. I’d always felt it was some kind of violation of my uncle’s private space to be digging through it all. Now, having learned about his efforts to keep me and Karra apart-and his lies to me-that feeling was long gone; dead and buried. It was one thing to play errand boy and stash the book he’d sent, but it was another to believe his world was sacrosanct any more. If hiding the tome helped the Earth, I was all for it, but I wasn’t gonna worry about his feelings when it came to me rifling his shit. Karra didn’t care to begin with.
She was perusing the shelves across the room, pulling each book off and shaking it out, then dropping it before moving on to the next. Normally, I’d have said something, but I had the fiends to clean up the mess. If trashing Lucifer’s chambers made her feel better about all the crap he put her through, then I was all for it.
I went to work.
Hours later, I’d found squat to do with the case or the strange language, and absolutely nothing about any dimensions beyond ours. My eyes blurred and my back throbbed. I fell back into a pile of scattered papers and growled. The beer I’d missed out on earlier was calling my name.
I listened to the carnage Karra was creating for a while, and it took me a minute to realize she’d gone silent. Thinking she might have moved on to another room, this one being our third, I rolled my head and looked for her. She was standing stiffly by a hefty pile of tossed books. A small leather case was in her hand. She peered inside it with a fierce intensity, her fingers spreading it open. I noticed her hand trembled.
“What is it?”
“You need to see this, Frankie.”
I got to my feet and went over with slow, deliberate steps. Something in her voice told me I didn’t want to rush; I didn’t want to know what she found. When I got there, she let out a loud sigh and took me by the arm. She wouldn’t hand me the case.
“What is it?” I repeated, and she ignored me again, guiding me to the bed. I knew right then it was bad news. No woman in her right mind would lead me to a bed if she wasn’t about to tell me something that would kill my libido.
