“And you fell for her,” she said, trying her best not to let him talking about another woman bother her.
He nodded.
But he wasn’t with her now, so something had happened. Nothing good.
“We were in a caravan, taking Jessica and some other aid workers to a village outside Kirkuk. One minute we’re all laughing at each other’s dirty jokes, the next we hit a roadside bomb.”
Sara squeezed his hand more tightly, knowing where this story was going now. She nearly told him he didn’t have to continue, but she suspected he needed to say it all out loud, that maybe he hadn’t told anyone.
“I only remember seeing one thing before I passed out. Jessica’s lifeless eyes staring back at me.”
“Oh, Adam, I’m so sorry.”
“I woke up five days later, and they told me I was the only one to survive in our Humvee. And I don’t know why.”
Sara slid around in front of him and raised her hand to his cheek. “There doesn’t always have to be a why. Bad things just happen sometimes. There’s no rhyme or reason.”
“But it shouldn’t have happened to her. I was the one in the uniform, the one carrying a gun. I was the one who should have been cut in half, not her.”
“It’s not your fault.”
He met her eyes. “I know that in my mind, but my heart never got the message.” He lifted his hand and caressed her cheek. “That’s why I live my life the way I do—carefree, no responsibility, no attachments.” He looked at her in a way that made her feel loved and sad all at the same time. “That’s why it’s hard for me to be with a woman who puts herself in harm’s way.”
Sara stepped closer and placed her hand on his chest. “But you’re still here.”
He sighed. “I keep telling myself to stay away, and I can’t.”
After what he’d just told her, Sara didn’t want for his words to make her happy. But they did. Maybe he felt as intensely for her as she did about him. Maybe despite both of their reservations, they could make this work. The fact that she loved him blossomed in her mind like a field of beautiful flowers.
“I feel the same way.”
He wrapped her in his arms and pulled her against the length of his body. “I don’t know if I can worry about the safety of someone I care about again.”
Sara leaned back to look up into his eyes. “This isn’t a war zone in the Middle East.”
“But you’re a cop, and cops get killed all the time.” He framed one side of her face with a strong hand, a hand that had explored her body only a short time ago. “I’ve seen you dive off a pier and get punched in a bar fight. And today you were nearly shot.”
“But I wasn’t. Lots of police officers go their entire careers without serious injury. And sometimes people go to a restaurant and get gunned down. It doesn’t mean we all stop going out to eat.”
He let go and took a few steps, then leaned his palms against the deck railing. “It’s not the same.”
“You’re right, it’s not.” She thought about her next words, considered whether she should say them, finally decided she had to be honest if there was any hope for them. “But it’s better than living my life superficially.”
He looked back at her. “You think that’s what I’m doing?”
“Isn’t it?”
Adam returned his gaze to her dark yard and shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Just because you lose someone doesn’t mean you cut yourself off from the world and stop caring.” She searched for the words to get through to him, to break the shell he’d erected around himself. Or had she already cracked it? Is that why he’d even told her about Jessica? He cared, whether he wanted to or not. She just didn’t know how much.
Sara moved to the railing and leaned back against it next to Adam. “I could have chosen the same path as you, but I decided to take the other fork in the road.”
“You lost someone?”
“My mom.”
“What happened?”
“She left when I was young. Just packed her bags and left me and my dad behind. Dad raised me on his own. He was a life-long cop, Memphis patrol. A real guy’s guy, you know. But he did the best he could to raise a girl.”
“Sounds like a great guy.”
“He was. But he never got over Mom leaving him, always thought she’d stroll back into our lives someday. Believed it until the day he died. I never quite forgave her for that.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “It’s part of the past now.”
“Is your mom still alive?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’ve never looked for her?”
“No. I had to cut that tie, even let the resentment go so I could move forward. It was holding me back from really living the life I wanted.”
Adam shifted and crossed his arms. “Did your dad want you to become a cop like him?”
“He never said. I didn’t really make the decision until after he was gone.” Sara looked out into the darkness beyond the light shed by the house next door. “I went to college, changed majors a couple of times. Even did some student teaching. But nothing felt right, not until I decided to go to the academy. Being with other officers, it felt a bit like a family, especially since I didn’t have one anymore.”
“That’s how the army felt for a while. But after the accident…well, I took the medical discharge and ran as fast and as far as I could.”
“But you didn’t find any peace.”
He shook his head slowly. “No.”
“I’m sorry you’ve lived with this.”
“Hey, I think we just proved that I’m not the only one with dark spots in my life.”
“True. Don’t get me wrong. I could have given in to the hate I sometimes felt toward my mother, toward fate for my dad having a heart attack at his desk one month shy of retirement. But something inside of me just made all those negative feelings dissolve one day. I still can’t explain it. I just knew I wanted to live as positive a life as I could. I wanted to be happy, have a family that was close and loving. And I acknowledged that I did want to make police work my career. Not be a street cop like my dad was, but in the field nonetheless.”
“How did you decide on detective?”
She stared at the pot of geraniums next to the back door. “It kind of chose me. I solved my first case before I ever stepped foot in the academy. Our neighbor was a victim of a hit-and-run. I started asking questions and figured out who did it, found the guy and called the police.”
Adam turned to face her. “How old were you?”
“Twenty.”
“So I guess there’s no chance of you giving it all up to work in the kite shop, huh?”
She gave him a half smile. “No.” A few moments passed in silence. “I understand why you don’t like to be responsible for anyone, but sometimes it’s really rewarding. Bringing Lilly and Tana into my life, trying to be the mother they deserve—it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I couldn’t love them more if they were my own flesh and blood.”
“From what I’ve seen, they love you, too.”
She smiled. “We have a good life.” She was determined to be happy with their trio if that was the way it was meant to be, but she couldn’t help hoping that there was a special spot for Adam in that family dynamic. If not, she’d enjoy what time they had and hope tonight wasn’t the end of it. She turned toward him. “I’m glad I let you in.”
Adam offered a small smile with a bittersweet tinge. “I am, too.” He kissed her, a soft meeting of lips that lasted far too short a time. “I better go.”
She didn’t want him to leave, but he was right. Ruby and the girls would be home any minute. Unable to let him go just yet, she clasped his hand. “Remember what I said. You have a lot of life left. You deserve to enjoy it.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said softly before he gave her one last peck on the lips then stepped off the deck and disappeared into the night.
She fought the new panic that
she’d scared him away with her talk of family and her dedication to her job. If she had, she’d have to live with it.
Just as soon as she figured out how to live without the part of her heart this unexpected man had claimed as his own.
Chapter Thirteen
Sara hurried out the door, late for work. As she reached her car, her cell rang. She recognized Lara Stephens’s number at the Social Services office. She answered the call as she opened the car door.
“Hey, Lara, what’s up?”
Hesitation on Lara’s end sounded a warning that what she had to say wasn’t going to be good. “I wanted to let you know that David Taylor has been returned to his father.”
“What?” Sara couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Why? When?”
“This morning. The ruling came down that there wasn’t enough evidence to hold him in state custody.”
“Lara, that boy is in danger.”
“You don’t think I know that? I argued against this, but I was overruled.”
Sara stood motionless, too stunned to know what to say or do next.
“I’m sorry, Sara. I thought you should know.” Lara hung up and left the sorrow of her words ringing in Sara’s ear.
Sorry wasn’t going to do the boy any good if his father wanted to punish him for running away and bringing the police into the situation. Sara’s stomach rolled, threatening to make her eggs and toast stage an unwelcome reappearance.
On top of that, Adam’s car screeched to a stop at the curb. She knew as soon as he unfolded himself from the driver’s seat that he wasn’t there for any romantic reasons.
“What the hell were you all thinking?”
She shook her head. “I just heard myself. Lara can’t believe it, either. She fought against it.”
“She didn’t do a very good job.”
“Adam, that’s not fair. The ruling came from higher-ups.”
“I don’t care where it came from, it’s wrong.” Adam’s face was flushed and strained. He looked on the verge of exploding.
“I know. But…I can’t do anything.” She’d never felt so helpless in her life.
“Well, I can,” he said, then started to turn away.
She grabbed his arm. “Adam, don’t do something stupid.”
“I think others have a corner on the stupid market.”
“Please. It won’t do David any good if you get yourself arrested.”
He pulled out of her grip and paced several steps. “How does this happen? I turned him over to you because the system was supposed to keep him safe.”
“I know,” she said, on the verge of tears at the thought of David back home, at how he must be feeling betrayed. How could she answer Adam when she didn’t understand why the government machine acted like it did sometimes?
They stood in awkward silence for several interminable seconds before she couldn’t stand it anymore.
“How did you find out?” she asked.
“I called David, thought maybe I’d take the kid fishing today since I have the day off.”
Something shifted in her heart. This man who had held himself away from others had made a connection with this boy, only to see him ripped away, too. Nobody won in this situation.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. She couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Adam looked back at her, less anger reflected on his face this time. “I know.”
She wanted to walk to him, wrap her arms around him and have him do the same to her. But instead they stood staring at each other until Adam moved to leave.
“I’ll talk to you later. I’m not going to be the best of company for a while.”
“Okay.”
Give him time. It had worked before. Hopefully, it would again.
THE URGE TO DRIVE NORTH and check on David, to pummel his father for hurting the boy, didn’t leave Adam no matter how much he tried to focus on other things. He called David several times, but no one ever picked up the phone. When he talked to Sara, she reported the same result when she’d made attempts.
He didn’t truly blame Sara for the situation. He knew what the chain of command was like and how little pull those on the lower rungs really had. No, it was himself he blamed. Yet again, he’d let someone down. It seemed like it’d become his purpose in life.
When Adam arrived home three nights after David’s return to his father, the sound of gagging greeted him as he stepped inside the door. What the…? He edged toward the bathroom, which seemed to be the source of the sound. There he found someone with his head hanging over the toilet in the dark.
Adam turned on the light, then cursed under his breath. David jerked back, his eyes frantic. His face glistened with sweat, and he looked too pale.
“It’s okay. It’s just me.” Adam wetted a washcloth and handed it to David. It seemed all the boy could do to lift his hand to take it. “He hit you again?” No sense in skirting the issue.
“Yeah.” He sounded weak.
“I’ll kill him.”
David’s eyes grew impossibly wide, like one of those anime characters the kids liked now. “No!”
The boy became so agitated that Adam retreated a step. “Okay. I’m not going anywhere. But you need a doctor. You might be injured internally if you’re throwing up.”
“No. I just came down with something.” David leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. “I’ll be okay. I’ll leave as soon as I feel a little better.”
Adam leaned against the sink counter. “The hell you will.”
“I don’t want to get you into trouble.”
“You let me worry about that, okay?” Adam stared at the kid and didn’t see any obvious marks, just dark circles under his eyes, a pale complexion and the appearance of having aged ten years since he saw him last. He wondered if the kid was really sick or just reacting badly to everything that had happened to him.
When several moments passed without further retching, David attempted to stand, his arms shaking as he pressed against the toilet. Adam stepped forward to help.
“Okay, off to bed you go.” Instead of steering him toward the couch, he aimed David toward his bedroom.
“I’m not taking your room.” David tried to dig in his heels, but he was weaker than weak.
“You’re not in much shape to argue, are you?”
Adam managed to get David into the bed and covered him up not only with the sheet, but also two blankets since the chills had set in during their journey from the bathroom. He brought in a fresh glass of water and set it on the nightstand. “It might make you puke again, but you have to keep drinking or you’ll get more dehydrated.”
David nodded almost imperceptibly.
Adam leaned forward and placed his hand on David’s forehead. Clammy and quite warm.
“Adam?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry for breaking in. I…I didn’t know where else to go.”
“You’re safe here. And I mean it this time.”
David swallowed hard. “I hit him.”
“Your dad?”
“Yeah. Not enough to worry about, but enough to get away from him.”
“Good.” Adam didn’t care about all the not fighting violence with violence arguments now. He was just glad the bastard had received a bit of his own medicine.
Once he got David settled, he wandered into the kitchen and started to pull a beer from the fridge. He stopped, grabbed a Coke instead. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. Not only did he need to check on David throughout the night, but there was also too much rolling around in his head like a load of clothes in a dryer. Not the least of which was the strange, satisfied feeling he’d had when he’d left the bedroom.
Face it, Canfield. You like helping the kid. It makes you feel human again.
He cursed and wandered out to sit on the porch, to lose himself in the night. If he listened hard, he could hear the sound of waves in the distance. They didn’t soothe him tonight.
He wasn’t calling the cops this time, and that meant hiding David from Sara. But David wasn’t going back to within yelling distance of his father, even if Adam had hide the kid until he was eighteen.
Even if it cost him Sara.
TANA STROLLED INTO the police station and dropped into the chair next to Sara’s desk.
“Tough day?” Sara asked, trying not to smile.
“Long and boring. And art got canceled because of a pep rally.”
Tana wasn’t the pep rally type.
“Oh, the nerve.”
Tana stuck her tongue out at Sara.
“Classy.”
Tana rolled her eyes and bent over to pull several boxes of chocolates from her backpack. She passed them out to the people at the station who had ordered them from her while Sara finished working on the file she had open.
“I’ve got Adam’s candy, too,” Tana said when she returned to Sara’s desk just as she was shutting down her computer. “Can we run it by his place?”
“Sure.” Even though Adam hadn’t been by in the past few days, they’d talked on the phone. He didn’t sound angry with her anymore. At least he hadn’t totally disappeared this time, even if he did sound distant, as though David’s return to his father was still bothering him. She could understand that.
But surely he wouldn’t mind if they stopped by to drop off his candy. She had to admit, she wanted to see him in person, to try to judge what he was feeling by facial expressions, not just intonations on the phone.
When her phone rang, she picked it up. “Detective Greene.”
“Sara, it’s Lara. I’m glad I caught you. David Taylor is missing again.”
“Oh, God,” she said. She hated that her first thought was that Mr. Taylor had done something worse to his son this time. “How long?”
“Evidently two days ago, but his father didn’t report it. We didn’t know until we came up here to do a follow-up visit. His dad said they had an argument, and David ran. But not before he whacked his dad with a shovel.”
“Why didn’t his dad report him missing?”
“He said he decided the kid wasn’t worth the trouble. That he’d come home when he got hungry. This guy is a real piece of work.”
The Family Man Page 13
