She touched Jack's hand and smiled. "I know none of this makes sense to you, but don't feel intimidated. If it makes you feel any better, I don't understand it either."
"I'm a simple man, Mairie. I don't have to understand. I'm living proof of this time travel."
"Hey, listen to this one." Marc sounded excited again. "Okay, I've skipped all the alien stuff about Roswell, though that would explain how we got advanced technology for this. All right, here's something definitive. Well, kinda… 'According to the U.S. government, Area 51 doesn't exist. It's an Air Force base in southern Nevada. It's also known as Dreamland and is surrounded by the Nevada Test Site and Air Force base. Area 51 has nine large hangars, and this is probably where the Black Book Projects are located.' There's that term again," Marc muttered. "Wow, you ought to hear about the security."
"What I want to know is why the government has granted the security guards authorized deadly force to keep the public out." Bryan sounded serious. "And why my phone is tapped. And why the harassment? What the hell is the reason? Because some technology not yet known to the public is being tested there?"
"Maybe they don't think the public can handle it, that we aren't ready to accept a new or different reality," Mairie said, thinking aloud. "Remember the notions that the earth wasn't flat, or wasn't the center of the universe. Both were met with great opposition. New thinking, thoughts that shake up the old opinions, are always suspect and challenged by the establishment. We want to think we're safe, that we're right. If the public knew that time travel was possible and being used by our government, what else is being done that we have no knowledge about? This is opening a can of worms. If this is released it could threaten the stability of… of the economy, religions, government—all our personal belief systems. No wonder all this is Black Carded or Black Booked."
She looked at the men. "They aren't going to just question me, are they? They're going to try and shut me up."
"What do you want, Mairie? You want to blow the whistle on this thing? It probably isn't even known in the top levels of the government. This could be a radical branch of the military, or something," Bryan said. "You want to talk to a reporter, or something?"
She shook her head. "I want to slip quietly back into my life." She looked at Jack. "They can't find out about him."
Everyone agreed it was the best plan.
Jack stretched his legs out in front of him and cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but I think we're getting away from the real issue here. How can we get back to that cave and look for the jar? Then we can all disappear."
"Jack's right," Mairie stated. "Somehow, we need to get back."
"How?" Marc asked. "After reading this stuff, I'm even more convinced you shouldn't get involved in any way. Don't let them know you're here in the present. How would they, anyway? Harmon didn't make it back, or you would have been picked up immediately."
"Maybe they have some kind of technology that indicates two people returned," Bryan suggested. "They would think it's Mairie and Harmon, but when Harmon doesn't show up, maybe they think they both died, or something. Like in that Philadelphia Experiment. It was a test, and they screwed up the first time when Mairie was thrown back in time. Maybe Mairie's safe to go back to Nevada. They don't know anything about Jack at all."
"We have to go back," Mairie stated. "Jack and I didn't go through all that for nothing. We have to at least try to find that jar."
"So when do we leave?" Bryan asked.
Marc turned away from the computer with his mouth opened. Nothing came out for a few moments and when he finally spoke his voice was almost a shocked whisper. "You think you're going with them? You didn't get enough of your grand adventures? You're going again?"
"I have to, Marc," Bryan said with a regretful tone.
"Then I'm going, too."
Everyone looked at Marc. His expression was determined. "You took off once, Bryan Malloy, and I'm not about to sit here and wait again. So I suppose we're all going off on this scavenger hunt through time together. Besides… this time you need me."
Bryan smiled. "You're right. I do."
"Then it's settled," Mairie declared and rose to her feet. "We're all going. When do we leave?"
"The sooner the better," Bryan said, and Jack helped him stand as Marc shut down the computer. "I'll be glad to get off the East Coast for a while. I've been thinking Tucson might be a good place to relocate. We can check that out after Vegas."
"Tucson? Arizona?" Marc stared at Bryan as though he were joking.
"Yes, some place warm for a change."
"Doesn't Arizona have snakes, scorpions and tarantulas, and… and desert?" Marc looked horrified.
"It's just an idea, Marc," Bryan said with a laugh. "Come on, we've kept these two up long enough. Time for all of us to get some sleep. We have a trip to plan tomorrow," he added, while walking out of the office.
"Why don't you and Marc spend the night here, Bryan?" Mairie asked, as she followed her brother from the room.
"Yes. It's late," Jack agreed. "Stay the night and we can make our travel arrangements in the morning."
"There is a second bedroom," Marc said. "It might be a good idea, Bryan. You do look tired now."
"Fine, how can I stand up against the three of you?" Bryan smiled. "We'll plan our trip in the morning."
Mairie and Jack almost fell into bed, exhausted from the full day. When she was snuggled against his body with his arm around her, Mairie sighed with contentment and whispered, "I'm glad you like Bryan and Marc. They are both so dear to me."
He kissed the top of her head. "Yes," he whispered back. "They are fine people." He sighed deeply and added, "I still can't believe this morning I was in Nevada and tonight I am sleeping in Pennsylvania. I feel like I've time-traveled again."
She giggled. "Just space-traveled, Jack. Jet lag. Though there is a three-hour time difference."
He chuckled. "Don't even try to explain, Mairie. My brain actually hurt attempting to understand Marc's computer information."
Mairie suddenly became serious. "It doesn't sound good, though. I wonder if I'll ever be able to be myself again, to use my own name. I can't believe I have to go into hiding from my own government. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thank God my money is in mutual funds and Bryan has access to it. Wherever I wind up until this blows over, he can send me money and the government can't touch it."
He hugged her gently. "I'm so sorry you've lost your identity, your life here."
She shrugged. "We're a pair, huh? Now both of us are strangers in a strange land."
They lay in silence for a few minutes and then Jack whispered, "Mairie…?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think you could hire one of those cars for us while we're here?"
"I don't know that I can, unless I use Marc's credit card. But maybe. Why? Where do you want to go?"
"Gettysburg."
She raised her head and stared at him in the darkness. "Really?"
He nodded. "Yes. I've been thinking about it, and when Marc was reading from the computer about the government, I was remembering everything I thought I was fighting for, what we all thought we were fighting for… this country, and wondering again about power and its misuse, and the lives that are affected when that happens."
She didn't say anything, just held him close and listened.
"I never believed I would revisit the East Coast. I kept thinking this might be the only chance I have to return to where I lost my soul. Maybe it's time to bury all the old ghosts once and for all. If I can . . .”
How she loved this man. What courage he possessed. He had said she'd met her equal and she wondered if she could match his strength of character.
"We'll go tomorrow," she said and kissed his cheek. She looked at the clock on the night table, saw it was after three a.m. and sighed. Settling back into the crook of his arm, she whispered sleepily, "Anywhere you are… I've got your back."
They held each other and drifted off, entwined in mor
e than body.
Chapter 18
"Stop the car."
Jack stared out the passenger window. "Please Mairie, stop."
Mairie slowed the car to the side of the road and placed it in park. With the engine idling, she looked at Jack and traced his vision beyond the open field to a lengthy ridge. "What is it?"
There was a prolonged silence as she continued to watch him staring out the window.
"I'll never forget his name," Jack finally whispered as he sat, almost mesmerized. "Tell them I died honorably," he murmured.
Fumbling for the handle, Jack opened the car door and stepped out onto the grassy roadside.
"Who, Jack? Who died?" Mairie implored, reaching too late for Jack's hand.
She stopped the engine and slid across the seat and out the passenger side. "Jack, you're talking in riddles. I don't understand." She slowly walked down the gully and approached him from behind as his gaze remained transfixed upon the hills.
Mairie tenderly placed her arms around his sides and looked over his shoulder to the sunlit knolls.
"That's when I knew that I was dead." Jack inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.
Mairie held tighter and paused as she knew he was working something out in his head and heart. "But you're here, now, Jack. It's over. It's just history."
"I am that history, Mairie. Living history. I have not had over a hundred years to bury the ghosts of the men and boys slain here. It's been only a little more than a decade since I walked away from this field." A shudder passed over his body. "I can still hear their cries."
Mairie, resting her head against his back, looked around to the peaceful countryside of Gettysburg. "Oh, Jack," she breathed softly.
"Can't you hear them? Shh…" He looked around the open field. "Can't you feel them all around you?" A tortured look came over his face. "Listen, Mairie… for they are here, and my spirit died with them that day."
Jack suddenly took her hand and walked further toward the field. Worried, she followed beside him as he helped her over a weathered post-and-rail fence.
"There's a greater story than the museum and plaques tell, Mairie. So much more. I don't think there's anything heroic about the carnage that took place here. It was madness. Madness…"
"Then tell it, Jack." Mairie sat on a rail of the fence and listened intently, knowing somehow this man needed to release it.
Taking a deep breath, Jack squinted toward the ridge and continued. "It was a suicide charge, plain and simple," he began in a low agonized voice, and Mairie knew he was seeing it again, as it had happened.
"I was commissioned a lieutenant in the Union Army. Everyone with an education was, and I commanded a regiment that stood upon that very ridge, not so long ago." He pointed. "We had a wall of cannons over a mile long up there, and we assaulted the Confederate Army camps with artillery for nearly two hours on the morning of July third, 1863. Our guns stopped only by our astonishment. There…" and he waved his hand across the field, "… in the early morning light, amidst smoke and screams from the depths of hell marched flag bearers and drummer boys. Children. Lee had Pickett send children into battle along with the men, those thousands of men marched in perfect parade formation across this field then up that ridge. There was an eerie silence for just an instant as we gaped. You would have had to have seen it, Mairie… we were stunned. Absolutely stunned."
She didn't say anything, entranced by his words. It seemed so real, and she could sense his torment.
"Then someone yelled, 'Come on, Johnny Reb! We got your Seccesh here!' And the firing commenced." His face became rigid with the recollection and he drew a deep breath.
"God help us, we fired upon them all; men who should have been at home with their wives and children, working their farms, boys who should have been in school learning about anything besides man's inhumanity to man." He paused and looked back at Mairie.
"Madness," he repeated.
His expression was pained and she could see the tension around his eyes, the way the muscles in his cheeks worked as he ground his back teeth to stop the emotion. "It was a fierce artillery barrage. Brother against brother. Yells and screams. Men calling for their wives, sons for their mothers, and begging, pleading, for water, to be put out of their misery. I don't know how they did it, but some actually broke through our line. It must have been a half hour of hand-to-hand combat. Seemed like hours passed. My men were exhausted, most hadn't been home in two years, and I did everything I could to rally and support them."
She wanted to touch him, to wrap him in her arms and take away the horror that was playing inside his head. She thought of the millions who'd carried similar atrocities in their minds throughout history and tears ran down her cheeks. All she could do now was support him, listen, assist him in healing those deep scars.
"I'd just pulled a Reb off Randy Sullivan and turned around directly into the point of a bayonet. This… he couldn't have been more than nineteen, this boy thrust his bayonet into my chest. I didn't feel it, Mairie. Not at first. There was mostly surprise and… and I grabbed the stock of his rifle."
Jack closed his eyes and swallowed deeply. "We … we stared at each other for… I don't know, seemed like forever, but it was probably only a second or two. We looked each other right in the eye, past the uniforms, the issues, the commands from our superiors. None of that existed in that moment. It was just him and me. Life and death. And his bayonet was in my chest. I never felt anything like that in my life, that kind of separation from everything but that kid in front of me. It was as if he was stealing my soul. I… brought up my pistol and shot him… in the chest. Point blank. Just shot him…"
His words trailed off and Jack's mouth trembled with the recollection.
"He dropped to his knees, still staring into my eyes. And then… then he reached into his jacket… it was so bloody, and he pulls out this picture. A picture! I could see in his face he accepted his fate, as though he'd known it when Pickett had ordered him on the damn charge. His hand was shaking as he handed it to me. 'Tell them I died honorably,' he pleaded."
"Oh, God …" Mairie's hand covered her mouth to stop the sobs. She must remain strong for him now, somehow.
"I took it," he continued in a shaky voice, biting the corner of his mouth to control his own tears. "It was a picture of his family. His mother and father and two brothers. And the city and state of his home were written on the bottom."
"Jack…"
He didn't hear her, for now that he told the worst of it, it was as though he had to continue, to rip it out of his mind.
"I pulled the bayonet out of my chest and sank to the ground, just holding that picture as that kid died in front of me. All around me was insanity. Men falling. Screams of agony. And I looked at the picture again and knew, I mean I knew, that I had nothing against that young man, that under any other circumstances we might have laughed together. He was fighting for another man's dreams… and so was I. We were pawns in something so big that neither of us realized it until that very moment."
He ran his hand over his eyes, as if weary. "I knew I was fighting someone else's war. It wasn't mine. Insanity was taking place all around me and I remembered my Paiute brothers. I remembered that once I knew of balance, of peace with the earth, and I threw back my head and starting singing the Paiute Song of Death. Right there in the middle of the battlefield as the Confederates retreated. I stayed there until the ambulance team came and found me. They put me in a cart and took me to the hospital, an old barn with a corn crib filled with amputated limbs. When they had a two-horse load, they carted it away. I sat there for hours and counted how many times they emptied it. Eventually, a surgeon came out and stitched me up, but I knew I was already dead. That's when I got up from that hospital and took to walking… and I never looked back until today. I had fevers, hallucinations, but I kept walking. Somehow I had to get back to my brothers. I didn't have a blood thirst, not for campaigns, battles, issues, politics… none of it. I had to get home to sanity."
>
He wiped at the corner of his eye and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It took me awhile, but I realized I deserted. All I wanted after that was to live my life quietly, to work my way back to Nevada."
Mairie jumped off the fence and closed the distance between them. She wrapped her arms around his chest and clung to him. "Oh, Jack… You didn't desert. You woke up, that's all. You remembered who you were. Your mind and heart were always Paiute. They took you away to… to their missionary schools and tried to make you one of them, but you never truly bought into it, you aren't an aggressor, your people believe in peace. You couldn't be the institutions, the establishment, or what they demanded, you had to be you. All you did was wake up, my love, and begin your journey back home."
He held her tightly, so tightly that Mairie couldn't breathe. She pushed back gently on his shoulders and whispered, "It's okay, Jack. It's okay…"
Pulling back her hair he clutched it in his hand and looked into her eyes. "Mairie, all of this… all of it… it seems beyond reason."
Looking up to the trees, she continued to hug him and tenderly whispered, "Oh, Jack, go beyond reason… reason can't help now. I saw it on a postcard. Go beyond reason to love. It is safe. It is the only safety. Say good-bye to the ghosts. Do it with love… Love, Jack, and you will be safe."
Jack pulled back and stared into her eyes. "I love you, Mairie Callahan."
She quickly exhaled into a smile. "I know," she whispered, with as much love as she was feeling.
"I knew when you left that mountain to find me." Her smiled widened. "Just took me four days and seven months in two different ages to remember how completely my heart belongs to you. Thank you, Jack Fitzhugh Delaney, for finding me, for reminding me what love is, what I always wanted and thought wasn't possible. I was so lost. So lost…"
"You knew then, huh?" His smile was lovingly provocative. "Ah, how you love being right, my time-traveling woman." He chuckled and lightly shook his head. "And heaven help me, but you are an amazing woman!"
"Why, I'm your gift. You said so." She smiled just as provocatively, as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "I love you. And I am your gift. I do believe heaven already helped you. You went beyond reason to love, and found out it's not only safe, it's…" She threw her head back and looked up to the sky and then as the word came to her, she quickly stared back into Jack's eyes and smiled, wanting to connect again, wanting him to understand the depth of her.
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