She remembered how ambitious Jamie was in college and how hard he worked. All those days and nights he spent in the library and working part-time jobs to save money had paid off. Seeing him like this, so successful, she was truly proud of him.
She had been so angry for so long, but now she realized this is how things were meant to work out. Maybe Jamie hadn’t come back into her life to show her what she had missed out on but to show her that everything had happened for a reason.
Maybe he had done the right thing, breaking up with her.
And maybe she had done the right thing, not telling him about Jake. She had set him free, allowing him to follow his dreams. And having Jake had allowed her to follow a dream she never knew she had.
It was meant to be this way.
Grace knew she couldn’t resent Jamie any longer. He had everything he wanted, and she had her baby, the real love of her life, waiting for her back home.
It made her happy but hurt her heart at the same time.
She smiled sadly as they all finished their meals and stood up from the table, feeling the beginnings of tears in the back of her eyes.
Jamie pulled her toward him, his hands resting on her hips. She felt them through the fabric of her dress and wished her attraction to him would just go away.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking intently into her eyes.
“I’m just tired.” She bit her lip, embarrassed for suddenly feeling so emotional. Maybe it was time to stop drinking for the night.
He frowned at her, searching her eyes for a lie. When he couldn’t find what he was looking for, he released her. She suddenly felt cold.
“I think we’ve done enough work for the evening, don’t you?” he asked her. “We can leave the rest to Chris. He’s much better at this kind of thing than the rest of us.”
Grace saw Chris across the room laughing with one of the businessmen she and Jamie had spoken to, and she couldn’t help but smile. In college, Chris had been the big man on campus. At least things hadn’t changed where he was concerned.
Jamie reached for her hand. “It’s been a long day. Let’s get you back to the hotel.”
She looked up at him, confused. “You want to leave? But they haven’t even done the auction yet.” The auction was meant to raise money for charity. The businesses represented at the gala had donated everything from gift baskets to five-star vacations. “Won’t it look bad if we just leave?”
He shook his head. “I’ve given them a check. Besides, Tom and Chris will be here representing the company.”
“Please, let’s not go on my behalf. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” he said. “You look exhausted. Besides, Nick and Lacey are leaving, too.”
Grace did suddenly feel drained, so she agreed it was time to go. They said goodbye to everyone before they left, and Grace was touched when Lacey gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“Please come back and visit us soon, okay? You’re always welcome to stay with us.”
“Thank you, I will,” Grace said, thinking that once Lacey had the baby she wasn’t going to be in the mood to entertain anyone for a quite a while. “I can’t wait to see the house with its new paint job.”
“What paint job?” Nick asked, but they just laughed.
Jamie retrieved his truck from the valet they had hired for the night and helped her into it like the gentleman she could always count on him to be.
“That was a great party,” she told him as he drove. “The place looked great. You’re going to be flooded with calls to have weddings there now, I guarantee it.”
“Really? Don’t you think it’s a little rustic for a wedding?”
“That’s what made it so beautiful,” she said wistfully. “I’d love to get married there.”
He was silent.
“Really, though. From a public relations standpoint, this was a great night for you.”
“I’m glad you think so,” he said.
They parked at the hotel and made their way to their rooms. Jamie didn’t say much until they reached her door. He took the key from her hands before she could open it.
He didn’t touch her, but he was standing close enough to.
“I don’t want this night to end,” he said. His tone was matter-of-fact, but his eyes were smoldering.
I don’t either, she thought. She didn’t dare say a word.
There was a weight in her chest and a voice in her head. The voice was telling her to go to bed, but the weight in her chest was begging her to hit the mute button, just for a little while.
Just a little while. Just to see what could happen.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” he asked.
“A movie?”
“Yeah. We can see if there’s anything good on television.”
Say no, she told herself. This was a bad idea.
Then again, it was just a movie. She could watch with him for a little while and then go to bed. It was innocent. Harmless.
“Okay,” she said. Her voice came out like a guilty squeak. “In your room?”
“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “Meet me in a few minutes. I want to change out of this suit.”
She swallowed hard, thinking of him undressing. “Okay.”
He gave her back her key, and they separated. Back in her room alone, Grace went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. What the hell was she doing?
Then she realized she had makeup on, and it was now unattractively running down her face. She took the rest of it off, kicked off her heels and brushed her hair. She looked in the mirror, finally seeing the familiar Grace she knew.
This Grace was not the carefree one from earlier. This Grace was kicking herself for agreeing to watch a movie with Jamie. This Grace had a son to consider.
“Nothing is going to happen,” she told the girl in the mirror. “I’ll stay for a half hour and then go to bed. No big deal.”
Decision made, she slipped out of her dress and pulled on the old pajamas she had packed, having thought no one would see them. The shorts were pink with ice cream cones on them, and she paired them with an oversized v-neck pink tee shirt. After quick consideration, she decided it would be a good idea to leave her bra on. The tee shirt was low cut and practically transparent.
Jamie had seen her in a lot less, but that was years ago. She wondered if he would notice how her body had changed since having Jake. He probably just thought she had taken to wearing padded bras or something.
She padded over to the connecting door and knocked lightly.
“Come in. It’s open.”
She opened the door to find Jamie lying on top of the covers on his bed, wearing gray sweatpants and a white tee shirt, his strong arms on display. She knew he usually slept in boxers and was grateful that he had decided to cover up.
She felt his eyes run over her body greedily, lingering on her breasts. She suddenly felt naked.
“Hi, there,” he said.
This was a bad idea, but she was in too deep to turn back now.
“What are you watching?” Her voice was timid. She made her way to the bed slowly and took a seat on the corner farthest away from him.
“Knocked Up,” he said. “We saw this in theatres together, remember? It’s the one where the guy gets the girl from his one-night stand pregnant. It’s funny.”
She felt her stomach flip. Now she was positive the universe was screwing with her. “Anything else on?”
“Sure,” he said, handing her the remote. “You pick.”
She flipped through channels, not landing on anything. She was too nervous to pay attention to what was happening on the screen, thinking instead of how close Jamie was to her and how few clothes she was wearing.
She shouldn’t be here.
“Grace, you don’t have to sit on the edge of the bed like that.”
She turned to look at him, startled, and saw he was serious. “Relax. It’s okay. Just relax.”
Easy for him to say.
She took a deep
breath and moved to recline on the bed, careful to leave plenty of distance between them. He didn’t move a muscle, which made her feel a bit better.
“I won’t bite,” he said.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’m all nervous. This is... weird.”
“How so?”
She took a deep breath before answering. “What are we doing here?”
He frowned. “We’re hanging out.”
“So... we’re friends now?”
“We’ve always been friends. You think we stopped being friends just because you decided to run away and avoid all of my calls for years?”
His tone was light, but she could hear the hint of anger there. “It wasn’t like that.”
He laughed, but it wasn’t genuine. “Yes, that’s exactly what it was like.”
“I had my reasons.”
“Tell me them.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
He inched closer to her, and from the look in his eyes she could tell he wasn’t going to let the subject drop. “I missed you. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“You should have thought of that before you broke up with me.”
He smiled sadly. “You’re never going to let me off the hook for that, are you?”
“Nope.”
“I think I’ve more than paid for it.”
“Maybe.”
“You can really hold a grudge.”
“You knew that about me.”
“I thought it would be different with me,” he said. “I never thought you’d just cut me out of your life like that, like I was nothing to you.”
She looked away from the intensity in his eyes and sat up so that she was facing him and no longer reclining and vulnerable. “I did what I had to.”
He grabbed her hand and held it. “How so?”
She tried to pull away from his grasp, but his grip was strong. “Jamie, let me go.”
“No. We’re finally going to talk about this. You’re going to tell me why you ran away.”
Her heart picked up speed, and she felt real fear.
How was she ever going to get out of this one?
Chapter 10
“This was a mistake,” Grace said, her voice shaking slightly. “Let me go.”
“No.”
She watched Jamie, her eyes wide, as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her wrist. Her pulse was racing wildly, and she knew he could feel it.
“Relax, Grace. I just want to talk.”
“I don’t.”
They were sitting on the bed, face to face. He closed the short distance between them, his grip on her wrist like a vice.
“Jamie, don’t do this.”
“Tell me why you didn’t answer my calls. Tell me why you didn’t come to graduation.”
“I can’t.”
She saw the intensity in his eyes and the hurt and anger there, and she wished she could run away from it.
“Do you have any idea what it was like for me, wondering if you were okay and not knowing?”
“Stop it,” she said. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“The first few weeks, I thought you were punishing me and were going to call if I just waited. You never did. For months, I couldn’t think of anything else. I actually went to your house and begged your parents to tell me where you were. I was sick about it.”
She remembered those months. She erased his messages without listening to them and avoided all of his calls. The first few months of her pregnancy were terrible—she was overwhelmed and confused and had the worst morning sickness. The more miserable she was, the more she blamed Jamie.
And she had known, deep inside, that she was doing him a favor. Jake was a blessing in her life, but he would have been a curse in Jamie’s.
For so long, his words had haunted her. He wasn’t ready for her. It was too serious.
She had cried herself to sleep so many nights, feeling in her heart that he had used her and cast her aside. She hadn’t been enough for him when he was all she ever wanted.
What a stupid fool she was.
“You were sick about it? How do you think I felt? I loved you. Don’t you understand?” She felt a physical pain in her chest as she spoke, but she didn’t want him to see her cry, not after all these years. “You were everything to me, and you threw me aside like I didn’t matter. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? Worthless.”
“I called you the very next day because I knew I had screwed up,” he said.
“It wasn’t something you could just undo. You had told me everyday for two years that you loved me and that we were going to be together forever.” She felt old wounds reopening and tearing at her heart. “For you to change your mind like that... I trusted you. You destroyed that. You destroyed me.”
“I never changed my mind.” He let go of her wrist to cup her cheeks, gently holding her face so she couldn’t look away from him. “Grace, I broke up with you because I loved you. I wanted to make something of myself so I could deserve you and give you all of this, everything you saw today. I thought in order to make that happen, I needed to put some distance between us.”
He leaned toward her so their foreheads were almost touching. “I was so wrong. I was so stupid. You have to know that I am so, so sorry.”
Maybe he meant what he said, but it didn’t matter now. “Why are you telling me this? It can’t be undone, Jamie.”
“Don’t say that.”
“You don’t get it.” She felt a hot tear burn its way down her cheek. “We can’t go back in time and change what happened. It’s too late.”
He wiped her tear away with his thumb. “It’s not too late. I can make this right.”
“No! You’re not listening to me.”
“I’m not.” He set his jaw, determined, and gripped her shoulders. “I’m not going to listen to you. You are done punishing me for this, Grace. It ends tonight.”
She tried to pull away, but he held her still.
“Let me go.”
“Not a chance.”
She closed her eyes, feeling exhaustion in every part of her body. She felt like she had been fighting a war with herself all week that there was no way to win. Give in to Jamie and she would lose. Resist him and she would lose.
“Open your eyes, sweetheart. Look at me.” His voice was so gentle it almost made her cry again.
“I can’t,” she whispered. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m so tired, Jamie.”
He pulled her to his chest and held her to him, soothing her with a gentle hand trailing up and down her back. She pressed her face into his chest, breathing in the familiar scent of him, trying not to cry.
“Why are we putting each other through this?” she asked him, her voice breaking on the last word.
The hand on her back stopped moving and he pulled her away from his chest so he could look her in the eyes. Slowly and gently, he pressed his lips to her forehead, a gesture so tender it was agonizing.
“This has been a hard week, hasn’t it?”
She nodded, biting at her lip to stop herself from crying again. She was so mentally drained she felt physically weak.
“I know,” he said, moving his hand to massage the back of her neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I put you through all of this.”
She drew a shuddering breath and tried to pull herself together. “It’s not all your fault. You didn’t ask for any of this, either. You didn’t ask to walk back into my life, it just happened.”
The hand on the back of her neck stilled. “That’s right. This has been hard on both of us.”
“I know. I’m trying to look at it in a positive way, but it’s difficult. I guess we can say that we have gotten closure.”
“Closure?”
“Yeah. I think that’s the reason fate threw us into this crazy reunion. Now we can part ways knowing the other person is happy and that our breakup, no matter how much it hurt at the time, was for the best.”
She tried to give him a small smile, but she could tell by the look he was giving her that she had said something wrong. The gentle, understanding look in his eyes had been replaced by something darker, although his voice remained calm as ever.
“So, what you’re saying is that this past week, seeing me again... It has given you closure?”
“Yes. So what?”
She saw the muscle in his jaw twitch. “If I were to walk right back out of your life tomorrow, you wouldn’t care?
“What’s the problem with that? Should I be miserable about it? Would that make you happy?”
Before Grace could so much as think, he maneuvered her backwards on the bed so that she was pinned beneath his weight.
“Get off of me!” she hissed at him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
He raised a brow, that devilish grin back on his face. “You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean, sweetheart.”
Despite Jamie’s attempt to be nonchalant, Grace could tell he was angry, and for some strange reason it turned her on. Her body was quickly responding to the feel of his hard chest against her and his hot breath on her skin as he leaned closer.
She wanted him badly, and she hated herself for it.
“Get the hell off of me.” Grace halfheartedly pushed against the wall of his chest, but he didn’t budge.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I will scream.”
His eyes flashed. “You don’t mean that, either.”
“Yes, I do. I don’t care if you get in trouble. I don’t care about you.”
“See? This is exactly what I’m talking about.” He bent his head down so that his lips were brushing hers. “Don’t. Lie. To. Me.”
She sighed, hating how good his lips felt. “You’re a bastard, Jamie.”
“Only when it comes to you, babe.”
Without warning Jamie claimed her mouth with his, using his tongue as a weapon that left her completely at his mercy. She contemplated resisting but abandoned any attempt when he further increased the pressure of the kiss, his demand leaving her lightheaded.
The taste of him was so achingly familiar that her body responded with a life of its own, arching against him and begging for more. She ran her hands over his muscular back and pulled him closer, unsure if they could ever be close enough to satisfy her.
Irresistible Lies Page 10
