“So, trust me,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. “Because I do.”
Chapter 13
Jamie parted Grace’s lips with his, ever so gently. She didn’t kiss him back, but she offered no resistance.
Her mind was in turmoil. Part of her wanted to leave, but a bigger part of her wanted to stay and see what would happen.
Jamie increased the pressure of his kiss and brushed her tongue with his, and she reflexively started to respond. He placed one hand on her waist and the other on the sensitive base of her neck, sending little shivers down her spine.
He moved his mouth to the corner of her lips and kissed his way to her earlobe. She gave a little sigh of pleasure when he reached the column of her neck and made his way down, and he responded by tightening his hold on her.
“Don’t fight it,” he whispered, his hand brushing over her breast. Although her blouse covered her, she felt the contact throughout her entire body and squeezed her eyes shut.
When he kissed the exposed top of her breast, her desire turned into a physical ache.
“I can’t fight it anymore,” Grace whispered, giving in. “I don’t want to.”
Their eyes met. Without words, she gave herself to him, knowing that this was inevitable. They were going to make love. There was no more thinking, reconsidering, or changing minds.
Jamie lifted her up easily and tossed her gently on the bed, moving so that he was on top of her. She felt the heavy bulge of his arousal against her, and it only increased her own. She undid the buttons of his shirt as quickly as she could, practically tearing it off of him.
“Jamie,” she breathed, marveling at his chest. It was just as she remembered—solid as a wall. She ran her hands over it, bringing back old memories, then shifted her exploration to his muscular arms, remembering their strength and how safe she used to feel when he held her in them.
She propped herself up so that she could kiss the familiar territory, enjoying the feel of his muscles rippling in response. He stopped her after a brief moment and pushed her gently back down, grinning at her.
“Not so fast, sweetheart,” he told her, his blue eyes dark with desire. “I want to see you.”
He pulled her blouse over her head so that only her thin, silky black bra remained. He ran his hands over her breasts while his eyes scrutinized every inch of her.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked breathily, feeling her nipples harden. He pinched them through the fabric with his calloused fingers, increasing the throbbing between her legs.
“Shh,” he whispered, kissing and caressing the exposed parts of her breasts and driving her wild. Clearly unsatisfied, he reached underneath her and unhooked the bra, pulling it off so that there was nothing between them.
There was a pause as he stared at her. “Grace?”
“What?”
He cupped her full breasts in his hands, weighing them. “These are not how I left them.”
Childbirth could do that to you. She was too aroused to care that they were entering into dangerous territory. “Bigger?”
“Much bigger. Don’t get me wrong, I like them. I like them a lot.” He moved his mouth down and tugged at her nipple with his teeth, making her arch her back for more. “It’s just unexpected.”
“Don’t over-think it,” she told him, her breathing ragged. “There’s more for you to enjoy.”
He seemed to accept that as an answer and busied himself getting to know her changed shape, touching and kissing her breasts in the ways he knew she liked. He lavished attention on her tightened nipples with his mouth, nearly bringing her to ecstasy. She whimpered despite herself, desperate for all of him.
“I’ve missed this,” he told her, his voice laced with desire. “The sounds you make when I touch you.”
“Jamie, don’t make me wait.” She didn’t care that she was begging. She ran her hands down his chest and unbuttoned the waistband of his pants, making him groan. “It has been too long.”
But he stopped her and pinned her hands back to the bed. She moaned in frustration.
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to, sweetheart.” He grinned devilishly at her. “You’ve made me wait five years.”
“You’re mean,” she whined, past the point of caring about how desperate she sounded. She hadn’t been touched like this in so long, and with every kiss Jamie was bringing her body back to life. She craved him like she had never craved anything before. “Jamie, come on...”
He ignored her pleas. “You know what else I’ve missed?” He pushed her skirt up and moved his fingers between her legs, brushing them against the damp satin barrier that covered her sex. “The sound you make when I touch you like this.”
She moaned, and he increased the pressure of his fingers on her most sensitive place, stroking her and watching her reactions. When she couldn’t take it anymore, he slid down her skirt. She parted her legs wide, more than ready to take him inside of her, and he removed the skimpy, final barrier.
She waited for him to remove the rest of his clothes, but he didn’t. Instead he kissed her inner thighs, teasing her with his caressing fingers and the feel of rough stubble against soft skin.
“I’ve missed touching you like this.” He slid his finger inside of her and she clenched around him, closing her eyes.
“It’s not enough,” she said, even as her whole body shivered. “I need more.”
“More?” He moved his finger slowly in and out of her, torturing her.
“Jamie, please. It has been too long.”
“How long has it been, Grace? How long has it been since someone has made love to you?”
She opened her eyes to look up into his turbulent ones. “Years.”
“Since me?”
She nodded.
His hand stilled, and she saw the surprise on his face. “That’s just beautiful.”
He leaned down to kiss her, ravaging her mouth possessively. His tongue swirled with hers in an erotic dance, leaving her breathless.
“Do you know what that means?”
“What?”
“That you’re mine,” he said, biting at her bottom lip. “No one else’s.”
For some reason, she found that incredibly sexy. She was pretty sure that if he didn’t take her soon, she would lose her mind.
“Jamie,” she begged. “Please.”
He slid his body over hers, nothing but skin against skin. “If you want it,” he told her, swinging her on top of him effortlessly, “take it.”
She didn’t hesitate, knowing exactly what she wanted. She undressed him, sighing contentedly when he was finally naked. He was perfectly sexy, perfectly Jamie, hard with desire for her. Seeing the evidence of his arousal made her feel powerful, beautiful and wanted.
She stroked him gently with her hand, re-familiarizing herself with an organ she once knew intimately. He moaned and ground his hips against her.
“Now who has to wait?” she said cheekily.
“Don’t you dare tease me now,” he warned, narrowing his eyes at her. She squeezed him in her hand and he moaned again.
“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.”
She would have stretched it out longer, driving him as crazy as he had driven her, but she couldn’t wait to have him. She lowered her hips on top of his and he entered her in one smooth motion, grabbing her waist and pulling her even closer to him.
“Oh, Jamie,” she cried out. She felt every inch of him inside of her, filling her completely.
So this was sex. She had thought she had forgotten what it felt like after five years of celibacy, but her body remembered. At least it remembered Jamie. She couldn’t believe how much she needed this feeling. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t be able to stop now.
She moved her hips, pulling him deeper inside of her.
“I’ve missed this most of all,” he said, looking up at her with burning eyes.
“So have I,” she whispered, moving against him in a slow rhythm.
He
moved her long hair aside so that it was no longer covering her breasts and cupped them in his large hands. Her already sensitive nipples tightened. She leaned forward to kiss him, stilling his movements. He met her mouth in a passionate frenzy, their tongues tangling and arousing each other further.
He pulled away, breaking the kiss, his eyes dark with desire and need. “Enough,” he told her. “My turn.”
“For what?” she asked him, eyes wide.
In answer, he flipped her over so that she was on her back, him still inside of her. He thrust his hips, inserting himself deeper, and she cried out.
She dug her nails into his broad, hard shoulders. “Don’t stop, Jamie.”
In answer he picked up speed, giving them both what they wanted. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held on for the ride, so lost in sensation she couldn’t keep her eyes open.
He drove her to the edge and she could feel herself going over. He held her fiercely, and she knew he was going with her.
“Look at me,” he demanded. “I want to see you.”
She opened her eyes to meet his and felt everything snap into place, back to the way it had been when they had first made love and the way it was every time since.
She gripped him tighter, feeling the first wave of ecstasy ripple through her body.
“Oh, Jamie.”
“Grace...”
He thrust hard into her, one last time, and passion swept them away. She was fairly certain she had never experienced something so exquisite in her entire life.
“You’re amazing,” he said, his breathing ragged as he came down from the height.
“That was incredible,” she whispered.
Jamie kissed her sweetly before detaching himself from her, but he kept his arm draped possessively over her waist. She snuggled closer to him on the bed, already missing his warmth.
For the first time in a long time, Grace felt a flicker of hope come to life inside of her. This was the Jamie she remembered. This was the man she had fallen in love with.
She had been thinking so negatively about everything since he had walked back into her life, and now she was realizing that could have been a mistake. There was no reason they couldn’t get back together and make things work this time. There was no reason she couldn’t give him another chance.
It was up to them. If they wanted to put the past aside, they could do it. They could move forward.
They had the power here, not fate, not the stars, not Caroline and her opinions. Being with Jamie was a choice she could make.
This moment of clarity filled her chest with something that felt suspiciously like happiness, and she couldn’t help but smile.
“What are you thinking about?” Jamie asked her. His smile was wide enough to rival hers.
“Just... everything. This was unexpected.”
“In a good way?”
She placed her head on his chest, in the spot that had always been hers. “I think so.” She listened to the steady beating of his heart. “What do you think?”
“This is the happiest I’ve been in a very long time, Grace.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
He wrapped his arm tighter around her.
“So, what happens now?” It was the one question she really wanted answered. Forget the past. Forget everything. Did they have a future? Was this real?
Jamie ran his fingers through her hair over and over, lost in thought. “I have an idea.”
“Tell me.”
“It will probably sound crazy.”
“I don’t care. This is already crazy. Just say it.”
“Okay. Move with me to New York.”
“What?”
“Move back to New York. Work at the brewery. Let’s give this a real shot.”
She pulled herself up to look at him straight in the eyes, wondering if he was serious. He didn’t look like he was kidding, not at all.
“That’s moving kind of fast, isn’t it?” Even as she asked the question, she knew exactly what she wanted to hear. She wanted him to tell her that it wasn’t too fast, that he loved her and that that would be enough for them this time.
He just grinned. “It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me, Grace. We can take it slow. I just don’t want us to be in a long distance relationship. Come to New York with me. We can date and do all the things couples do.”
“Oh.” Okay, well, slow could work. She could make that work.
Except for the fact that she had a son. She couldn’t very well move to New York and hide him. If Jamie was going to be with her, he was going to have to be a father. Slow would have to become quick real fast.
“I’m not asking you to rush into anything, sweetheart.” He smiled at her, but it didn’t make her feel any better. “Let’s just give this a chance.”
“But...”
“Don’t.” He kissed her softly on the lips, trying to reassure her. “Don’t over-think it. That’s what messed us up last time.”
“Over thinking is not what messed us up, Jamie.” She felt her smile turn into a frown as reality hit her once again. “We were in two different places in our lives.”
“You’re right. I wasn’t ready then. I was too young to appreciate what I had and to fight for it. But it’s different now. I’m ready for this.”
He sounded so serious, but she still wasn’t sure. Maybe he was ready to commit himself to a relationship with her, but that didn’t mean he was ready to be a father. What would she do if he left her again? How would she pick up the pieces?
She was scared.
“Ready for what?” Grace finally asked him.
“Us. You and me.”
She pressed her lips together.
“What’s wrong? You don’t want this?”
“It’s not that, Jamie. It’s just... I’m not sure what you’re saying here. What exactly do you want from me?”
He searched her eyes for the right answer. When he didn’t find it there, he sighed. “All I’m asking for is a real chance. Let me make this right and do what I should have done the first time. Come with me, work at the brewery, and be a part of it, like you should have been from the very beginning. Let’s make this right.”
She felt torn, right down the middle, in a place between happiness and misery.
“We can’t go back. I’ve told you that. Things have changed now.”
He gave her a questioning look. “Why do you keep saying that? Nothing has changed.”
“Have you?”
“What are you asking me?”
Have you changed? Are you ready to commit to me? Are you ready to be a father?
The words were at the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t say them. The fear of rejection kept her silent.
“I don’t know. I’m confused,” she finally said, feeling pathetic.
How could she reasonably expect him to commit to parenthood when he didn’t know he had a son? But how could she tell him about Jake when there was so much at stake?
She just wanted—no, needed—him to somehow say the right thing.
Jamie smiled at her, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Alright, enough with all of this. If tonight taught us anything, it’s that there is still something here between us, and we owe it to ourselves to find out what that is. I was jumping the gun asking you to move to New York. I don’t expect you to pick up your whole life for me. All I want is to take things slow and see where this goes. Will you do that with me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Grace, please.”
“What about kids?” She blurted the words out before she could think through them and blushed furiously the second they came out.
“What?” He looked extremely confused, which just made things worse.
“Do you want kids?” She tried to make the question sound casual.
He laughed. “Okay... yeah, eventually. You know that.”
“When?”
“I don’t know, in a few years. Not ye
t. Why are you asking me that? Does it matter?”
She felt a lead weight settle on her chest, crushing her hope. “I don’t know.”
“Is something going on?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I was just wondering.”
Jamie raised an eyebrow, and she could tell he was getting frustrated with her. “I feel like you’re not listening to me. I told you, I’m not talking about marriage or kids. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything serious. I just want to see where this goes.”
That was the problem. There was no way in hell she could do that, not with Jamie, the father of her child.
Not when she was so in love with him.
The realization didn’t come as a surprise, because if she were being honest with herself, she had never stopped loving Jamie. She saw his face every single day when she looked at her son, the little boy that meant more to her than life itself. She had pretended to be over him, but she was only kidding herself. She could pretend all she wanted, but it would never stop.
Jamie was the love of her life, and she would always want more from him than he was ready to give her.
“What’s wrong?” He brushed the back of his hand gently across her cheek, looking at her intently. “Tell me what you’re thinking. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
“You can’t fix it. This isn’t going to work, Jamie.”
This was a hurt she knew intimately. There were no tears this time.
“No. Why are you saying that?” He didn’t attempt to hold back his frustration. “Why?”
“Because it won’t.”
“That’s not a goddamn answer and you know it.”
“You’re not ready for this.”
“That’s bullshit, Grace. I’m telling you I am. Why are you doing this?”
She was saved from answering by the ringing of her cell phone. She jumped out of the bed to grab it like it was a lifeline, not caring that she was naked.
“Don’t answer it,” he called out to her, but she did anyway.
She saw Caroline’s name on the caller id.
“Hi.”
“Hi. Can you come home?”
“Yes. Is everything okay?”
Irresistible Lies Page 13
