Justin had never left a game early before. He always stayed so he could talk to everyone and rehash the game, reminisce with his friends.
But with Stephanie, even surrounded by what had just a few months ago been his entire life, he was ready to bail. Was happy they were winning but for once didn’t care to stick around and relive the moment.
He wanted to create new moments with this woman who he hoped would become a permanent fixture in his life. His heart actually leapt at the thought.
Hopefully she felt the same way.
* * *
Justin had been acting strange the entire day. Not in a bad way, just...different. He’d been very attentive and affectionate, not seeming to care who saw them together, showering her with kisses and hugs every chance he could get.
Whereas she skulked around, hoping like crazy she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. Not that too many people she knew would be at a baseball game in the middle of the week on a sunny afternoon. But better safe than sorry.
Spending time with Justin and having fun made her realize she didn’t get out enough. Hanging out, indulging in too much junk food and laughing with him, making those sexy dimples flash, she realized something yet again.
She had surrounded herself with too many negative people. Her bitchy roommate, her bitchy sisters—though she couldn’t get away from them, they were blood after all—Caleb the snake, heck even Zoe who half the time made her feel uneasy.
It was a pattern she needed to stop. She should speak up to her sisters and tell them she hated it when they put her down. She needed to tell Caleb to screw off. She needed to find a new roommate and quick.
Changes needed to be made. Positive ones and she had Justin to thank for that.
They’d cut out of the baseball game early, much to her surprise, but it was easier to leave the stadium, beating the exiting traffic. He’d driven straight to his house, shooting her a quick smile every once in a while, resting his big hand possessively on her knee. His touch warmed her from the inside out. Just looking at his hand on her made her feel good. Protected. A little bit loved.
Okay, she was being overdramatic but damn it, with the way he’d been acting since she’d shown up on his doorstep yesterday, she couldn’t help it. He’d showered her with attention, so thoughtful, so focused on her and when they’d had sex, it had been...different.
She couldn’t quite put her finger on it and maybe she didn’t want to. Avoidance had been the name of the game since the minute she’d hooked up with Justin.
Funny thing was it didn’t feel so much like a hookup anymore. It was starting to feel like a bona fide relationship. And she needed to be truthful.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t found the opportunity to tell him about her real job and the articles since she’d never found an appropriate moment to bring it up.
Okay she needed to be honest. She was too afraid to bring it up, scared of what his reaction might be. So she’d kept quiet like the little chicken that she was.
They were lingering in the kitchen, grabbing something to drink when he turned to her. “Are you hungry?”
She shook her head and rested her hand over her stomach. “I’m stuffed. I ate too much at the game.”
He smiled. “Yeah, you had a thing for those hot dogs, didn’t you?”
With a groan, she clutched her bloated stomach. “Don’t remind me. I shouldn’t have eaten two. I’m a pig.”
“I’ve always appreciated a woman with an appetite.” He approached her slowly, his arms encircling her and he brought her close, so close her body molded to his as if they were a perfect fit.
God, she really needed to stop thinking like this. She was making something out of nothing.
“Please, I was a total pig.” She rolled her eyes, trying to make light of the situation.
And she had eaten too much but she hadn’t been able to stop. When she got nervous, she ate.
“You’re not a pig.” When she glanced up at him, she saw he was dead serious. “You’re not afraid to eat and I like that. Too many women I’ve known in the past would never eat a thing, maybe a piece of lettuce and that’s it.”
“Well I’m definitely eating more than lettuce. You can tell by the way I look.”
“I like your curves.” He dipped down and kissed her, his hand smoothing down her side, along her waist, over her hip. “I like your body. A lot.”
“I’m certainly no slender model-type.” She tried not to feel so self-conscious when she compared her body to his but right now, she couldn’t help it. The man was built like a piece of art and she was carrying a few too many pounds that gave her some extra junk in the trunk.
“I don’t want a slender model-type.” His lips met hers once more, his tongue darting out for a teasing lick. “I want you.”
He kissed her again, their lips melting together, their bodies merging. His hands slipped down, cupping her butt and he fit her more firmly against him, allowing her to feel the unmistakable bulge of his erection.
“I want more, Stephanie,” he whispered against her lips after he broke the kiss. “I want...”
Her heart skipped a beat at his words, at the way he paused. God, what was he going to say? Nerves ate at her, making her stomach jump and she waited, breathless.
Did she want to hear what he had to say? Yes and no.
“Yes?” She encouraged after his pause went a little too long for her comfort.
“I—shit, I don’t know how to approach this. I’ve never done it before.” Sure fingers slipped beneath her chin and tilted her face up so she met his serious gaze. “I want us to see each other more. Exclusively. I’m not looking for a quick fuck and I don’t think you are either. At least, I hope you’re not. I want something more...serious.”
Her lips parted but no words came out. She wasn’t quite sure what to say, how to approach this. Her heart and body was screaming yes, yes, yes but her mind was telling her to slow down and think. Remember what she was doing, and why she was doing it.
And how angry Justin would be once he found out the truth.
“Do you feel the same way, Stephanie?” His face was so earnest, his expression sincere, his eyes hopeful as he watched her. She wanted to say yes, but, but...
“I—I don’t know.” Oh God, the second the words left her mouth she wanted to take them back. She didn’t mean it, could she tell him she didn’t mean it?
The shuttered expression on his face, the dim light in his eyes said no, she’d already blown it. She was such a fool.
“I understand. I’m probably rushing things.” His hand dropped away from her face but at least it still settled around her waist, the tips of his fingers grazing her butt.
“You’re not rushing things. I’m just, I guess I’m nervous considering who you are and what you do.” There, that was a good defense right?
She was going to make a mess of this, she could just feel it.
“Listen, whatever you’ve heard or read it’s not true. At least, not anymore. I’m not the same guy I was back then and I have you to thank for it.” He paused, as if searching for the right words. “You make me want to be a better man. For you. For us.”
His words startled her and warmed her heart. This man was so special, so perfect for her in every way and she didn’t know why she was behaving like this.
“That’s so sweet.” She tore her gaze from his and stared at his chest, plucking at an imaginary piece of lint. “But I think I need more time.”
He sighed, his chest constricting against her hand and she savored his warmth, his hard strength. She loved his body. She loved touching him, being with him.
Did she actually love him, though? She wasn’t sure. She lusted for him and she certainly enjoyed the way he made her feel. But what kind of relationship could they have when it wasn’t based on truth?
She could only blame herself for that. She was the keeper of truths, not him.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you this but never found the right time. I gues
s now is as good as ever.” She looked up at his words to find him watching her carefully.
“I got a new job with the Sports Channel. I start next week. I’ll be a special correspondent during the playoffs,” he finished.
“Oh, that’s wonderful.” She smiled, truly happy for him. “How exciting. So you’ll be on TV, huh?”
He shrugged, sheepish. “Yeah. I’ve never been comfortable dealing with the media but the executives at the network said I have charisma or whatever when I’m on screen. That’s why they approached me. That and my inside view of baseball.”
Justin grimaced and shook his head. He didn’t look very happy about this sudden turn of events.
“You’re very charismatic. I’m sure you’ll be wonderful at your new job.”
“I’ll be gone a lot. I fly out next week and I’ll be traveling non-stop during the entire playoff season. I’ll probably work straight through to the World Series, too.”
She nodded slowly, understanding dawning inside of her. She wouldn’t be seeing him as much. This was the opportunity for him to give her as much time as she wanted. Maybe too much on his part.
Stephanie frowned. Maybe once he was gone he would forget about her, find someone new. Someone prettier and more his type.
Oh, she needed to quit with the pity party. She was the one who was pushing him away. She could only blame herself if he went off and found someone new.
Most women would think she was crazy. She’d been given her opportunity with him and for the moment, she’d turned him down.
“I understand,” she finally said with a small smile. It felt false, her mouth straining at the corners.
“You’re okay with it?”
“Of course, it’s your job. Do I have a choice?”
“I just don’t want to—” He paused, his jaw tightening. She could tell this was hard for him, admitting this and it touched her heart, made her feel even shittier for what she was doing.
But better to be honest with him than lead him down the wrong path, right?
Right?
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said in a rush. “I know I’m probably pushing you so I’m going to lay off. I just want you to know that if you’re okay with it, I’m not going anywhere in regards to you, to us. I want to continue seeing you.”
“Okay,” Stephanie said slowly, surprise filling her and her stomach fluttered in response.
“You’re really okay with that?”
She nodded. “Yes, of course. I, um, enjoy spending time with you, Justin.”
The relief that shone in his smile made her feel even worse. She was such a fool, most likely messing up something that could end up being truly beautiful.
“I enjoy spending time with you too, Stephanie. A lot.” He kissed her again, this time his mouth more insistent, his tongue thrusting into her mouth, tangling with hers. His hard body crowded her, wrapped her tight in his embrace and her body responded in kind.
One more night. She’d give herself one more night and then she needed to distance herself from him. It was best, she knew it was best.
So why did she feel like crying?
Chapter Twenty-Three
For the first time in his life, Justin had put his heart on the line and Stephanie still rejected him. Not totally but close enough and he didn’t know what to do next.
Well, he knew what to do next. He’d already said he wanted to continue seeing her and she’d agreed. So if she wanted to continue this why had she been so resistant earlier? Had he come on too strong? Had he moved too fast?
Probably but hell, this had hit him fast, smacking into him out of nowhere. And he wanted to enjoy it, enjoy his time with her, get to know her better and not just sexually. Especially since he was leaving for his new job soon.
He would’ve flown her out to wherever he was on the weekends so they could’ve spent time together. But now he’d force that plan to the backburner for fear of freaking her out.
Shit. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. She had no clue what a big deal this was, revealing his true feelings to her.
And yet again, she threw him for a loop. Completely unpredictable, no way could he figure this woman out.
Maybe that was part of her appeal.
He’d led her back to his bedroom so he could show her how he felt versus telling her. Had a feeling he’d fucked it up royally with his choice of words but hell, he didn’t know what he was doing. He was a relationship newbie. Something that was hard to admit.
So instead of screwing it up more and inserting his foot deeper into his mouth, he decided to cup her beautiful face in his hands and kiss her, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. She responded immediately, her lips parting, tongue darting out to meet his. She moved closer, her arms slipping around his waist, holding him tight and he wondered what it was she didn’t like about him.
Always she responded as if she were made for him. There was an ease between them that was both comforting and arousing. Did she not see that? Did she not feel it?
He had no clue.
Slanting his head, he deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue into her mouth and she answered in kind, her teeth nipping, tugging on his lower lip. Their hands were everywhere, shedding clothing until the two of them were naked, standing at the foot of his bed.
She pulled away and stared at him, her eyes wandering from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He felt oddly vulnerable to her gaze, wondering what she thought, how she felt.
And then an idea formed in his head, one that would lay her bare, leave her open to him and he wanted that more than anything. Wanted her to realize how much she could trust him and how much he trusted her in return.
“Stephanie.” Her gaze met his and he swallowed hard. “I want to do—something.”
Her delicate brows drew down. “What do you want to do?”
Justin reached for her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “I want to tie you up.”
* * *
Stephanie’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Come again?”
Justin nodded, his jaw tense. “You heard me. What do you think?”
She shook her head, stumbling around for words. “I—I don’t know what to think.”
Tugging on her hand, he drew her close. “Then don’t think, let’s just do it. Show me that you trust me, Stephanie. I won’t hurt you. I promise.”
“I know you would never hurt me, Justin.” She kept her expression somber. Without a doubt, she knew he would never harm a hair on her head. “But you really want to tie me up?”
He nodded, his other arm circling her around her waist, pulling her close to his hard, warm body. “Trust me, babe. I know how to make you feel good. You won’t regret it.”
“I know.” But his suggestion felt as if it came out of nowhere and she wondered what he might be trying to prove.
Yes, she trusted him, but to be naked and so vulnerable, unable to move while he pleasurably tortured her, indulged in her body. She wasn’t sure if she could take it. Wasn’t sure if she wanted to take it.
“Let me do this, Stephanie. If you want me to stop, just say the word.” He stared deep into her eyes and she noticed his were dark and sincere and full of sexual promise.
“Okay.” Oh, she gave into this man so easily.
“I’ll use some neckties.” He paused, a tentative smile on his face. She could tell he really wanted to do this. “I’ll keep the knots loose.”
Stephanie glanced down, staring at the pattern stitched into the carpet. She wanted to do this yet a part of her was scared. But why? What did she ever have to fear when it came to Justin?
Maybe it was the thought of giving up complete control. Doing this would be total surrender.
“Don’t have doubts, baby. This’ll be good.” He smiled, his expression full of promise.
“I know.” She did know. And she agreed because she wanted to make him happy.
“You won’t regret it.” He kissed her, his lips lingering, reassuring.
&
nbsp; He left her to go to the giant dresser and open the top drawer, withdrawing a handful of ties. They were beautiful, colorful and probably cost more than most of the dresses she wore but she pushed that thought aside. How she hated comparing their lifestyles but she couldn’t help it. She did it on an almost constant basis.
Their lives were so different and that was something she couldn’t deny.
Quietly he stripped her, his hands gentle, his eyes heated as he drank her in. He then shed his clothing until there was nothing between them. Just glorious, naked skin.
“Why don’t you lie down on the bed?” Funny how his voice changed in an instant as did his mood. His voice was dark and silky yet held a thread of steel just beneath the surface. As if he wasn’t going to tolerate her protests at this moment.
She’d given her word and now he expected her to go through with it.
Stephanie slowly approached the bed and lay down. Adjusting herself so she would be comfortable and making sure she had a pile of pillows beneath her head. She watched as he went to work, his gorgeous naked body bending over her to tie first one wrist, then the other to the headboard. His skin gleamed in the golden light cast from the dimmed lamp that sat on the nightstand and the sight of his muscles working with his every movement made her breathless.
He was so beautifully built, so wondrously hard and masculine. His cock already stood at half mast and she wanted to reach out and touch, stroke him just the way he liked but she couldn’t.
She frowned. It was just as enjoyable touching him as when he touched her. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to take this tonight.
Indulgent Pleasures Page 19
