He held her close, her head resting on his shoulder, his arm slung around her and their legs tangled together. Their breathing was still harsh, their hearts beating in tandem and as he smoothed a hand over her mussed hair, Justin knew he’d never felt so contented in his entire life.
“That was...” her voice drifted off, her fingers smoothing over the hair at the center of his chest and he closed his eyes, gathering her as close as she could get.
“Amazing,” he finished and she nodded her head. The distinct scent of their lovemaking still hung in the air and he breathed deep, savoring it.
“Yes,” she agreed, her head tilting so she could look up at him. “Amazing.”
He could see the raw emotion written all over her beautiful face. His lips parted, he wanted to tell her, wanted to let her know just how much she meant to him but he froze.
Shit, he’d never said this to another woman before ever in his life, with the exception of his grandmother and that didn’t count. This was momentous, truly a life-altering situation and he wanted to handle it just right.
“I’m so glad I’m here,” she whispered, her eyes glowing in the dimming light. “I’m so glad I’m with you.”
“Yeah, babe. I’m glad you’re here, too.” Here was his moment, his chance to confess his feelings. Reaching out, he drew a finger down her soft cheek, her skin so warm and fragrant. “Stephanie...”
“Yes?” She sounded hopeful, her eyes wide, beseeching.
He searched her face and blinked, trying to form the right words. Should he just blurt it out and say it? Or lead up to it somehow?
This was impossible.
“Stephanie, you, uh, you mean a lot to me.” He paused, cursed himself internally. “I mean, I care about you a lot.”
“I care about you, too, Justin.” She reached up and kissed him, her mouth soft and delicious beneath his.
He cradled her cheek with his palm, staring deep into her eyes. “I’ve never been in a real relationship before. And I want to be in one. With you.”
She nodded, her lips curved in the faintest smile. “I want that, too, despite what I said before. You mean everything to me and I know I’m ready for it, ready for you. For us.”
Justin kissed her again, his tongue doing a slow glide along the seam of her lips before he broke away. “I’m glad you’re ready for it. I hope you’re ready for what I have to say next.”
Her delicate brows drew together and she cocked her head, waiting for him. She didn’t say a word.
He gulped. It was now or never. His fingers smoothed over her skin, absorbing her warmth, gathering strength. “I love you, Stephanie.”
Her lips parted in surprise and he was hit with instant fear. Did he do it wrong? Should he have led up to it more?
What if she didn’t love him back?
“I’ve never said that to any other woman before with the exception of my grandma but that’s different.” He laughed, he sounded nervous, he could hear it. “I’m saying it to you now, and I may have gone about it the wrong way but I don’t want to take the words back. I’m in love with you.”
“Oh, Justin.” She kissed him, rolled practically on top of him and wrapped her body all around his. “I’ve fallen in love with you, too.”
He pushed at her shoulders so he could look into her eyes. “You’re serious.”
“Oh, yes.” Her sea-blue eyes twinkled and she kissed him again, this one more intense, her tongue mating with his, her hands smoothing all over him. “I love you, Justin. I love you so much it hurts.”
“It should never hurt, babe. Something like this is too good to hurt.”
And that was the damn truth. He’d never felt so happy, so free in all his life. He was in love. And she was in love with him, too.
Now that he had her, he was never going to let her go. Nothing was going to keep him from being with this woman.
Nothing.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Stephanie wanted to skip down the sidewalk but she kept herself in check, biting on her lower lip to keep the giddiness inside of her from escaping.
Justin gave her hand a squeeze, smiling down at her, looking just about as giddy as she felt. After another slower, even more intense bout of lovemaking, they’d gotten dressed and decided to have dinner out to celebrate.
She still couldn’t believe he’d told her he loved her. Justin Hawkins loved her. He wanted to be with her forever. It was like her every dream come true. The most perfect man for her in the entire world felt exactly the same way she did.
Her luck couldn’t get any better.
“The restaurant is right up here,” Justin said with a wave of his free hand. “I ate dinner here my first night in the city and it was delicious.”
God, she wasn’t even hungry, her stomach too bouncy with nerves and excitement. She didn’t want to eat, she wanted to go back to the hotel room and roll around naked with Justin for the rest of the night.
But she’d agreed because he’d admitted he was hungry. She’d even heard his stomach growl, making the both of them laugh and he’d looked embarrassed. He’d promised the restaurant was close to the hotel and they’d hurriedly put on clothes, eager to get the meal out of the way so they could get back to what they really wanted to do.
Make love all night long.
Stephanie smiled, feeling a little foolish, a lot happy. She’d thought she’d been in love before but it had never felt like this. One look from Justin and she wanted to melt. His touch seared her, his kisses swept her away until she couldn’t even think. She could only feel.
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him, marveled for about the millionth time at how handsome he was. How strong of a profile he had, the thick, barely tamed dark hair, his strong jaw and nose, those luscious lips that had been attached to hers just moments before. She was even growing used to the goatee, liking the way it framed that beautiful mouth of his.
Justin caught her staring and his brows drew together in what looked like worry. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head, feeling as if she could burst. “Absolutely nothing.”
He drew her close, dropping another kiss to her mouth and she knew she’d never felt more cherished than she did at this very moment.
Reluctantly pulling away, he led her around a corner building and the restaurant loomed up ahead. Stephanie caught sight of the blue and red neon sign proclaiming its name.
A flash of white light caught her attention and she turned quickly but no one was there. She stopped walking, as did Justin and he watched her with a questioning expression on his face.
“What happened? Did you see something?”
“I don’t know. I just saw a light flash. Like the flash of a camera.” She glanced all around, her eyes skimming everything before her but she saw no one, nothing that would lead her to believe someone had a camera close by.
“Paparazzi maybe?” He shrugged his impossibly broad shoulders. “I’ve been caught by them a couple of times since I got here.”
Her eyes widened. “Really? God, do you think it could be paparazzi? I hope not.”
“What does it matter, babe? We’re officially in a relationship which means we’re eventually going to be photographed together. And then they’ll ask about you and I’ll tell them who you are.”
“What will you say?” Panic flared deep within her. What if by some off chance the press found out who she really was, meaning they found out she wrote those articles? Yes, she’d kept her identity under wraps, Zoe had seen to that but what if it all came out and she was exposed?
No, it wouldn’t come out. No way could anyone find out that little bit of information. It was a secret, a heavily guarded and protected secret and Zoe had promised her that her true identity would be kept under strict confidence.
“I’ll say that you’re my girlfriend.” He brought their clasped hands to his mouth and he brushed his lips against her knuckles. “Be prepared. They’ll probably be curious about yo
u. I’ve never had a public relationship before.”
She loved the fact that she was the first. She was special enough that this man wanted to make her his and proclaim it to the world. “I’m not scared.”
Well, maybe just a little bit.
“Good. Don’t be. I’m a pretty private person and they usually leave me alone. So don’t worry too much.”
Easy for him to say.
* * *
“Did you get it? Did you get it?”
Caleb shot Zoe a dirty look as he climbed into the black nondescript car they’d rented at the airport. He settled the digital camera in his lap and scanned back through the photos he’d just taken.
“So?” Zoe wrapped her hands around the steering wheel, clutching it so tight her knuckles went white. “How did they turn out?”
“Not bad. I was able to snap a few of them walking hand in hand and then some more while they sat together in the restaurant. They sat right by the window like a couple of sitting ducks.” He shook his head, a pleased smile on his face.
“Can I look?” She tried to compose herself. She didn’t want to appear too eager. Caleb didn’t seem to like it when she acted too eager.
“Yeah, here.” He handed over the camera on loan from City magazine and she scrolled through the various pictures. She was pleased with the results, Caleb had really come through. He captured Stephanie and Justin holding hands and standing close, appearing very much like an involved couple. He’d also managed to get a few photos of Justin feeding Stephanie with his fork as they sat across from each other.
A rather intimate gesture in a restaurant if Zoe had ever seen one.
Zoe still couldn’t believe Stephanie had actually scored Justin Hawkins, superstar former pro baseball player, of all freaking people. When she and Caleb had arrived earlier in the afternoon they’d headed right to the hotel Justin was known to be staying at and waited by the sidewalk, sitting in their rental car.
They hadn’t spotted him but they’d spotted Stephanie showing up about an hour after they’d arrived. A stretch limo had stopped in front of the hotel, depositing her and her luggage at the front steps and she’d been ushered right into the hotel, treated like royalty, no doubt by the demands of Justin.
Unbelievable. A little flare of jealousy lit within Zoe. So long ago she’d been after him, had tried her hardest to get into bed with him, give him a blow job, something to show her devotion like the pitiful little groupie she’d been. And he’d turned her down every single time.
It had hurt back then. Still stung a little bit now. Old pains died hard.
“These are great. You got some good shots,” Zoe finally said, handing Caleb back the camera.
“I know. They’re going to make the article that much better. Trust me those photos are going to draw a lot of attention.” He smiled, looking just like an eager child about to open all of his presents on Christmas morning. He even rubbed his hands together. “Stephanie is going to be in for a rude awakening.”
“What are you talking about?” Yes, Zoe figured Stephanie would be a little upset at their breaking her trust and revealing she was the one who wrote the sexy articles but she understood, she was a part of their journalism family.
Would Justin be upset? Probably, but if he really cared about Stephanie, which it seemed he did, they should be able to work things out.
Then again, maybe they wouldn’t be able to work things out. Maybe he would be angry at Stephanie for blabbing their intimate relationship for all of the Bay Area—hell all of the world to read.
Oh, well. Zoe couldn’t be bothered with all of that. She had a major breaking story to put together, something that was going to no doubt further her career. Whether it upset Stephanie or not was really of no concern.
“Don’t you see, Zoe? What we’re about to do is going to make Stephanie look like a pariah. Writing and sharing the most intimate details of her sexual life with a well-known and very private celebrity and then getting caught doing it? Very scandalous. She’s going to end up looking like a royal bitch who loves to brag.” Caleb smiled, looking quite pleased with those potential results.
“Do you think it’s going to ruin her relationship with Justin?” Zoe nibbled on her lower lip, waiting for his answer.
“Probably. Though I doubt they have too serious of a relationship. I mean come on. He can get any piece of ass he wants. Why would he want to stay with one woman long-term? Especially a woman like Stephanie.” Caleb sneered.
“What do you mean, a woman like Stephanie? What’s wrong with her?” Well, she kind of felt the same way when Justin could have a woman like her but she wanted to hear Caleb’s explanation.
Caleb shrugged. “She’s really nothing special. She’s cute, she dresses sorta funky if you’re into that thing. But she’s kind of heavy.”
Zoe was rail thin and drank green tea by the gallons to stay that way. She rarely ate. Stephanie was like an elephant compared to her. “She’s curvy,” Zoe finally said, not wanting to totally dis her.
“Yeah, I guess so. If he’s into that sort of thing, then yeah, that’s great. But come on, Zoe. If he wasn’t planning on dumping her any time soon, then this upcoming article will give him the incentive to get rid of her now. And trust me he was always planning on dumping her. We just helped usher it along, so to speak.”
When Caleb explained it like that, Zoe didn’t feel so bad. They weren’t necessarily doing a bad thing, not really. Anyone would do the same if they were in their shoes.
She couldn’t allow herself to feel guilty. Besides, she would say it was all Caleb’s idea if it backfired. That’s how she always operated. It was all about the fall guy. And in this situation, Caleb was definitely her fall guy.
“Poor Stephanie. She’s going to get her heart broken no matter what happens.” Zoe shook her head.
“She’ll be fine. Maybe this will give her career a little boost too, give her some better opportunities.”
Zoe knew deep down Caleb was just saying that to ease her guilt and it worked. The man knew how to work her, whether it was her brain or her body.
Speaking of working her body, she caught the simmering look he just shot her and instantly lust flowed through her. It made her pussy aching wet and her nipples hard as little rocks.
“We should head back to the hotel.” Zoe’s hand rested on his thigh, sliding up to brush her knuckles against the fly of his pants. “Celebrate what happened tonight. What we got.”
“Great idea.” He rested his hand over hers, thrusting his hardening cock against her palm. “Maybe we can try out what I bought you.”
Zoe frowned. She’d been so thrilled when he gave her a present and presented it to her at the hotel. She hadn’t been so thrilled when she’d opened the box.
Lying inside, surrounded by a cloud of delicate pink tissue had been a pair of nipple clamps. Talk about unromantic. Yes, yes, it was a sexy gift and all that crap but she didn’t want a sexy gift. She wanted something meaningful and romantic from this man she was starting to care for.
Instead he’d given her nipple clamps that looked like they’d hurt like the dickens. She didn’t even want to try them out. Her nipples were too damn sensitive anyway. It would probably feel as if they were about to fall off if she had those things clamped to them, pinching her, hurting her.
Not a pleasant thought.
“If you want to try out the gift, then yes, let’s do it.” She was such a sport, such a pleaser. She acted all tough and in command at work but when it came to men, she was never tough.
She was weak, always ready to do what they wanted, no matter what. And she tried so hard.
But it didn’t matter what she did, she could never please them. Especially this one.
They always eventually left her. And she never understood why.
“You’re going to love it, sweetheart. Your nipples will be on fire by the time I’m done with you.” He leaned across the center console and kissed her, his hard lips brutal and unforgiving.
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she said in a sing-song voice but he didn’t get it, it flew right over his head. He was too enraptured at studying the photographs he’d taken one more time, his gaze fixed on the little screen on the back of the large, black digital camera, his mouth tilted upwards in a too-pleased smile.
He’d just gotten everything he wanted while she sat there feeling alone. And so very, very empty.
When would someone give her the things she wanted?
As soon as she got off her ass and went after them.
Chapter Thirty
“I want you to move in with me.”
Stephanie let the spoon she held fall from her fingers, the metal clattering against the granite kitchen counter. The sound rang loudly in the sudden quiet of the kitchen. “Are you serious?”
Justin nodded, taking another drink from his coffee cup. They were eating breakfast at his house the Sunday after their trip to New York. He’d invited her to stay the entire weekend and of course, she’d agreed.
She rarely wanted to spend time away from him, though she had to since she was working and still had her apartment.
“What do you say? Do you want to? What do you think?” He watched her, his eyes alight with hope, his brows raised expectantly.
“But I—I work. I have my job and it’ll take me a while to get downtown in the morning. Plus I have my apartment with my roommate. We’re locked in a lease for another five months.”
“Tell that witch to find another roommate then. She can do it. Help her out. Hell, I’ll help her out.” He laughed since he’d heard a story or two about how awful her roommate could be. “And you can quit your job, you know.”
“Excuse me, did I hear you correctly?” She angled her head and cocked an ear in his direction but his expression didn’t change. He looked one hundred percent serious.
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