Well that was a lie, she could believe it. Caleb hated her guts and Zoe had wanted Justin once upon a time. They’d come together and done this to her out of spite. Spite and a spectacular scoop that they most likely hoped would get them ahead.
Well they got what they wanted in spades.
But it was still shocking. And disheartening. To be so betrayed by the people she worked with, especially her boss who she’d put her trust in. She didn’t know what to think and really didn’t know how to face them.
Thank goodness, she’d moved back over to the life and style section just before this broke out. No more sitting next to Caleb every day and seeing his smirking, smug face.
When she sat at her desk, she was approached by her new boss, Melanie. “The managing editor wants to meet with you in the boardroom.”
God, were they going to fire her? She gulped and stood, headed toward the small boardroom on the same floor as her department, nerves bouncing in her stomach.
The managing editor wasn’t alone. Tom Strickland was accompanied by the publisher and CEO of City Magazine, Edmund Gray. They both watched her sit across from them with somber expressions on their faces and she thought for sure the ax was about to fall.
“We want to apologize for what happened,” Tom started.
“After the agreement you signed, it should’ve never played out like this,” Edmund added, shaking his head.
Stephanie sat up straighter in her chair, her entire body more alert. That’s right, she’d signed an agreement when they’d finalized her pen name.
“Zoe Rush mishandled the entire situation and should have never broken your confidence. Matters have been investigated and as of this morning, Ms. Rush was terminated from City Magazine.”
Stephanie shook her head, disbelief coursing through her. So they fired Zoe. Unbelievable! She figured the magazine would’ve been thrilled with the sensationalized cover and article. It was probably selling like crazy.
“What about Caleb?”
“He’s been terminated as well,” Edmund said, his mouth set in a grim line. “They were caught—fraternizing on employer premises Monday morning and the both of them were sent home. After much discussion it was decided that both of them should be terminated.”
Stephanie slowly nodded, her hands clutched in her lap beneath the table. Did they want to terminate her too?
“Again, we’re sorry for what happened, Stephanie. We plan on printing a retraction and apology in the upcoming issue to both you and Justin Hawkins. His lawyers were in touch with us as well yesterday and I’m afraid he’s going to sue us. And he definitely has a case,” Tom explained.
Her eyes closed for the briefest moment, grief nearly overwhelming her. She’d been so stupid to continue this for so long, to never tell him what she was doing. Now look what it was costing everyone. Jobs, reputations, money.
And it was all her fault.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to give my notice effective immediately.” She needed to beat them to the punch. “There’s no way I can continue working here after everything that has happened.”
“We hate to lose you Stephanie. You were a wonderful asset to the life and style section, to the entire magazine,” Tom said with kind eyes.
She wondered if he read her article. She wondered if the both of them had read it. Her entire sex life recounted in that article, almost every intimate moment she’d shared with Justin detailed in the pages within City Magazine.
Just the thought of them reading it was embarrassing, something she didn’t want to face. Something she didn’t think she’d have to face since the articles were written under complete anonymity.
“I think it’s best if I go.” She smiled weakly, her gaze wandering, unable to face them any longer. “I hope you understand.”
“Of course, we completely understand.” Edmund nodded. “We want to offer you a severance package to help you during this time while you look for another job. It’s the least we could do.” The amount he stated was staggering but of course, she could have a case on her hands if she wanted to sue them. They were in breach of the confidentiality agreement she signed.
She wouldn’t do it, didn’t want to go through the heartache of reliving it. Of thinking of Justin.
No way could she stay at City and face everyone, deal with the outcome of this situation. She needed to get out now and find something else.
Somewhere else where they won’t care if she looked like a raging, stupid slut who enjoyed blabbing.
“Thank you, I appreciate the offer.”
They stood and she did as well, more than ready to escape. She nodded and smiled politely at their pat wishes of good luck and again with the apologies. Then she ducked and ran, headed back to her desk so she could clean it out and get the heck out of there.
Luckily, one of the receptionists had a box at her desk and Stephanie snagged it, filling it with her personal items. Sadness seeped through her as she loaded up the box, not at leaving the job but at absolutely everything that had happened to her.
One minute she’d been on top of the world with the most perfect man who loved her. And the next he was telling her to get out, her sexual exploits were advertised for all of the Pacific Northwest to read and she’d quit her job.
Crazy.
After loading the box with her belongings and saying a few quick goodbyes, she left the office, walking briskly through the maze of halls to get to the bank of elevators on the south side of the building.
And ran smack dab into Caleb who was also carting a box full of stuff. Unlike her he was accompanied by a big, burly security guard with a stern expression on his face.
They were probably afraid he’d try and cause some trouble. Hence the escort.
“Well, well, well, look who we have here. The bitch who just cost me my job.” Caleb sneered.
The bodyguard moved to shut him up and Stephanie shook her head, wanting to hear what Caleb had to say.
Why she wanted to torture herself, she wasn’t sure.
“I didn’t cost you your job. You did that all by yourself. You and Zoe.”
Caleb looked mad enough to spit. “I should’ve never trusted that bitch either. Look where she got me after all of her promises? That’ll teach me to believe a word any woman has to say.”
His hatred for women was palpable and Stephanie shifted away, not wanting to get too close. “You need to take responsibility for your actions. You cost me my job and reputation too, you know.”
“Oh, fuck off. You were the one screwing the macho baseball player and not smart enough to tell the world all about it. Your romantic crappy articles make me want to puke.”
She started to walk away. She didn’t even acknowledge what he said. He didn’t deserve it.
“If you and that jock stay together, be prepared. I’m going to L.A. I’ve already landed a job there. We’ll be tailing your asses if you’re ever down south.”
“We broke up.” Why did she just say that? Would he feel bad? Would he even care?
Of course not. She didn’t know why she told him.
“Well isn’t that a shame?” He laughed. “You got what you deserve.”
This time Stephanie did walk away and she didn’t bother looking back, either. She hated Caleb, had never liked him and after what he did to her, she was smart not to like him.
The man sabotaged her relationship and her job. He had no scruples.
Most likely, Justin thought the same thing about her. And that hurt more than she cared to admit or even think about.
Tears pricked her eyes and she shook her head, trying to push past them. No use crying now. She’d cried her eyes out most of Sunday and all of Monday. She didn’t know she had that many tears to shed.
And all over a man. But not just any man, a man she fell in love with.
She was still in love with him, despite the fact that he hated her.
Did he really hate her? Was he so angry he never wanted to see her again? She couldn’t bl
ame him though she guessed it still made her angry that he was so stubborn he didn’t even want to listen to her explanations. She’d been just as deceived as he was but he hadn’t wanted to hear it. He hadn’t wanted to believe it, either.
There was a fine line between love and hate. Wasn’t there a movie titled that? Or a song? Well, truer words had never spoken.
And as a sob escaped past her lips, Stephanie realized she would never be able to get Justin back. Not if he hated her just as much as she loved him.
It would be impossible.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Justin stared at the ocean view spread out before him, scrubbing a hand over his face as his lawyer’s words penetrated the fog in his brain.
She didn’t know this article was coming out. Stephanie Shaw signed a contract keeping her identity a secret with the magazine. She was duped just as you were.
“So what you’re saying is that she didn’t know the cover story was coming out.” His voice sounded flat, lifeless.
Much like he’d felt the last few days. Ever since his world had come crashing down around him.
“No, she didn’t. Zoe Rush, her boss admitted as much when she was questioned by her employers. They terminated both Ms. Rush and a Caleb Whitmore this morning. They were the ones responsible for the article and photos.”
“What happened to Stephanie?” He winced when the words left his mouth. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t ask about her no matter how curious he was.
And he was damn curious.
“She gave notice when she spoke with the managing editor and publisher this morning, just after they’d terminated the other two. They’d hoped to keep her but she admitted she didn’t want to stay.”
“And so where is she going now?”
“Your guess is as good as mine, Justin. She didn’t tell them her plans. Not that it’s any of my business.”
Justin was silent, thinking. He should call her and make sure she was okay.
No, he shouldn’t. He had no right to and besides, he didn’t want to.
At least, that’s what he told himself.
“She had nothing to do with that story and City Magazine has seemed to take care of the situation in a very prompt manner. Do you want to continue the lawsuit? I can put the paperwork in motion right now,” his lawyer assured.
“No, don’t bother. I only said it as a threat anyway. I just wanted to get to the bottom of it.” He’d wanted to find out if what Stephanie said was true.
And it turned out that it had been. Every blessed word of it.
Justin hung up the phone and tossed it onto the couch with a grunt, frustration coursing through his veins, making him bone weary with exhaustion.
Making him pissed at himself.
He replayed what happened between him and Stephanie over and over, remembering every cruel and shitty word he’d said. How she’d tried to explain herself and he wouldn’t listen. What a stubborn asshole he’d been, sending her out of his house with tears flowing down her face and a broken heart.
He’d been so angry he’d literally seen red. Couldn’t believe her betrayal, the callous way she’d treated their relationship as nothing more than subject matter for her column in a magazine.
That’s what he’d assumed. And he’d been wrong. Completely and totally wrong.
But how was he supposed to know that at the time? Anyone else would’ve reacted the same way he did, especially after everything he’d experienced his entire life. He couldn’t feel guilty about it.
He did, though. Of course, he did. He felt absolutely shitty, terrible about the way he’d treated her. And he wanted to ask her forgiveness.
Loving her that much made him want her back in the worst way.
Grabbing the phone he’d just tossed, he punched in her cell number but it went straight to voicemail. His thumb hit the end button and he closed his eyes, breathed deep.
He was being a complete chicken shit. Right now, he needed to swallow his pride and call her, beg her forgiveness and see if she’d listen. See if she’d give it to him. And if she didn’t pick up, then he needed to leave her a message and hope like hell she’d call him back.
Hitting redial he let it ring, listened to her sweet voice tell him she couldn’t take his call right now but if he left a message she’d get back to him as soon as possible. Then he heard the beep.
“Stephanie, it’s me. Justin. I really hope you’ll get back to me because I need to talk to you.” He paused, gulped, and it felt as if a rock had lodged in his throat. “I really, really need to talk to you. Please call me.”
Justin hung up and threw the phone again, getting no satisfaction when it hit the floor with a loud thunk. Running a hand through his hair, he muttered a curse but it didn’t make him feel any better either.
He hadn’t felt right since that afternoon. Since Stephanie left him after he’d verbally abused her.
God damn, he was such an asshole. Such a complete and utter asshole to not believe in her and automatically think the worst when confronted with a problem.
So typical. He’d always pushed people away. His grandmother had accused him of that more than once. He wouldn’t let anyone get close to him for fear of them abandoning him, she’d said.
She’d been right.
Just like his own parents who’d left him without a care to his well-being. Who’d never given him an ounce of love his entire life.
Stephanie had given him love and he still turned her away. Would she ever forgive him?
God, he hoped so.
* * *
Stephanie tugged another tissue out of the box and blew her nose, then tossed the tissue onto the floor where a pile of them already grew. She’d lain in bed for the last two days, sleeping most of the day and throughout the night. She didn’t eat, didn’t talk to anyone, she just laid there and thought of Justin.
Even her crabby roommate was concerned and Sia never showed any concern for her whatsoever. Over the past couple of days she’d periodically knocked on the door to check on Stephanie. She’d offered to bring her food, drinks and seemed to want to do anything to make her feel better.
Stephanie found it quite shocking. Maybe her bitchy roommate wasn’t so bitchy after all.
She needed to get over this, what happened to her. She needed to get back at it and find a job and forget Justin. Forget what Zoe and Caleb had done to her and move on. Life was passing her by and she was getting nothing accomplished by sitting on her butt and crying her eyes out.
With a sigh she stood, moaning at the painful crick in her back, the wobbliness of her legs. Her stomach growled and she clutched at it, surprised that she was suddenly so hungry. Nothing sounded good to eat and a sudden wave of nausea swept over her, killing her hunger in an instant.
She grabbed her cell phone which rested on top of her dresser and turned it on, doubting that anyone had called. Really, she had no one, she knew that. Her sisters thought she was a whore, her parents had written her off as a disgrace and no one from the magazine would contact her to make sure she was okay. They were all too busy gossiping about her and what she’d done with Justin Hawkins.
Her voicemail beeped in notification and she dialed the box number, punching in her password. Her eyes widened in surprise when the automated voice told her she had five new voice messages.
Justin’s warm baritone greeted her, pleading with her to call him. And then again. And again.
When she finally finished listening to her voicemail inbox, she set the phone down in shock. Every single one of those messages had been from Justin. Begging and pleading with her to call him, how desperate he was to talk to her and could she at least spare five minutes to let him explain himself?
She shouldn’t. She couldn’t. He’d already let her know how he felt and his true colors had shone bright and clear. She could understand to a point his powerful reaction but he hadn’t even given her a chance and wasn’t that what love was all about? Giving each other chances?
T
hat’s what she’d always thought. Apparently, she’d been wrong.
Or they hadn’t really been in love in the first place.
With a sigh, she opened the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out a pair of plain white cotton panties and a matching bra. Her fingers shoved past the fragile and delicate lacy things Justin had preferred so much. She’d preferred them too.
Not anymore. Just touching them made her think of Justin and she didn’t want to do that right now.
A shower would do her good and help clear her head. Her hair was greasy, her face oily and she bet she stunk. Stunk like pitiful, hopeless woman if there was such a scent.
God, she needed to get a grip. A scalding hot shower would be just the thing.
Wash away the bad thoughts, wash away the difficult memories. Emerge clean and fresh and ready to tackle her new life.
She was halfway to the door when her cell rang and she paused, turning to look at the dresser and the vibrating and ringing phone on top of it. Catching her lower lip between her teeth she stood there for half a second, debating whether she should answer it or not. Her head screamed a resounding no. Her heart clamored with a loud yes.
Her heart won.
Leaping toward the dresser, she snatched up the phone and answered it with a breathless hello, praying she wasn’t too late and that it hadn’t already gone to voicemail.
Prayed it was Justin on the other line. She hadn’t had time to check out the caller ID.
“Stephanie, please don’t hang up.” His voice spilled out in a rush, relief and nerves warring within his tone.
She paused and didn’t say a word. She could only hear her accelerated breathing feathering across the line.
“Do you have a minute? Can I talk to you?”
“Okay.” It physically hurt to hear his voice, to know he was standing somewhere right now talking to her, thinking of her but not actually with her.
Indulgent Pleasures Page 26
